Title: Kissing You
Author: Lisa M
Pairing: BJ/Hawkeye
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Nope, don't own anything. Don't sue … no money.
Archive: Anywhere, just let me know.
Feedback: Would be appreciated - good or bad.
Spoilers: Maybe small ones for CAVE, but nothing to get upset about. It won't ruin the ep for anyone.
Summary: "Then close your eyes and trust me now. You know I'd never hurt you."
A/N: Yes, it's another short one from me. I can't seem to finish anything substantial, so I've been writing a lot of drabbles and short stories. I guess that's better than nothing, right? Anyway, this little fic popped into my head earlier today - so, instead of just jotting notes down, I decided to sit and write it all out in one shot. Hope you like it. Beta-ed by Lee who rocks! Enjoy!
A/N 2: This one's dedicated to Braideeni. Come back soon, sweetie! We miss you!
"Afternoon, boys. I, uh, hate to be the one to tell you this, Hawkeye, but we've been ordered to evacuate camp as soon as possible." Colonel Potter paused and glanced in my direction. I, in turn, moved my eyes to Hawkeye. "We're heading to the cave."
Every muscle in my friend's body tensed. I reached out and placed my hand on his shoulder.
"When?" I asked my CO without breaking eye contact with Hawkeye. His irises were swirling with apprehension.
"Within the next few hours."
"I'm not going." Hawkeye's voice was quiet and shaky - but very serious.
"I'm sorry, son, but you don't have a choice," Potter said carefully, but there was no doubt in my mind that the man meant it. "I-Corps says that the Chinese are standing on our doorstep. They'll be here by nightfall. We need to bug out, post haste."
"They said the same thing last time." Hawkeye's eyes shifted to the man standing in front of us. "I was here, remember? No Chinese. No North Koreans. Hell, even the rats weren't here!"
"They're coming this time."
"I don't care. I'm staying."
"Pierce, please don't make me give you a direct order. You know how much I hate doing that." The colonel placed his hand on Hawkeye's other shoulder. "We have no patients. Post-op is empty, too. We need to go. Now. I promise you that we'll only stay as long as is absolutely necessary."
"One minute's too long for me, Colonel," Hawkeye said as Potter turned to walk out the door of the Swamp. "One minute longer than that will make me crazy." His head dropped into his hands.
"Hawk, it's gonna be okay." I slid my hand around to the nape of his neck and massaged the tight skin until it became more pliable. Soft. Relaxed.
Shells were falling all around us. Explosions rocked the very ground where we were laying. But, regardless of the noise and the danger, there sat Hawkeye - day after day. Night after night. Hovering around at the mouth of the cave. On the fourth night, I propped myself up on one elbow and watched him.
Back against the hard stone wall, knees drawn up to his chest, arms wrapped tightly around his legs. Gently rocking back and forth - side to side. He reminded me of a child huddled atop his bed, worried that if even one toe accidentally hung over the edge, the unseen (but very real) monster beneath him would grab on and not let go.
He turned his head toward me. His eyes opened and fixed on mine. The fear, the desperation I saw reflecting in them stabbed through me like a knife. I stood quietly, not wanting to wake anyone, and made my way over to him.
"Hey," I whispered.
"Hey," he replied quietly. "Can't sleep?"
"Worried about you."
"Why?"
"I have to have a reason?"
"Well?"
"I don't like you being out here. Exposed. It's too dangerous."
"It's dangerous in there," he gestured toward the cave with his head. I can't stop myself from shaking my head at him. "I know, up here," he said, tapping a finger against his temple. "That it's actually safer in there than out here. I know that. But I just … I can't go in, Beej."
"Come on." I grabbed hold of him by his arms and pulled him to his feet.
"I can't."
"Do you trust me?"
"That's not the point."
"Do you trust me, Hawkeye?"
"Of course I do. You're the one person in this entire stinking place who I'd trust with my life."
"Then close your eyes and trust me now. You know that I would never do anything to hurt you."
"Beej …"
"Just do it."
With a sigh, Hawkeye closed his eyes. I could feel his pulse racing through the veins in his arms. Gently, but insistently, I began to lead him forward. Each time the muscles beneath my palms constricted, I applied soft pressure and they relaxed.
We wove around sleeping bodies, careful not to disturb anyone. When I found the spot I was looking for, I stopped Hawkeye. His eyes flew open and he began to panic. His gaze shot around within the dark, empty space as he tried to get his bearings.
"Beej, where am I?"
"Trust me."
I released his arms and immediately felt him turn and try to bolt.
"Not so fast there." I managed to grab hold of his wrist and stopped him in his tracks.
"Just don't … let go. Please, Beej," Hawkeye pleaded as he took my hand and wove his fingers within mine.
"I won't," I reassured him. With my free hand, I searched around in the inky blackness until my fingers grazed the metal lantern I'd placed in here earlier. A quick flick against the stone wall and the match I'd kept in my pocket sparked to life. I touched the flame to the wick inside the oil lamp and it caught fire. A small circle of soft yellow light formed around us.
"Beej, what is this place? Where is this place?" Hawkeye glanced around uneasily and I chuckled softly.
"Well, I'll tell you the what, but not the where. I don't want to be chasing you through the dark." I reached behind him and found the blankets. I bent over and began to spread them across the pebbled floor. It was a difficult task to take care of one-handed, but somehow I managed to create a comfortable place for us to sit. "Last time we came here, I did a little searching. I wanted to find somewhere I could go to think. And to be alone, which of course is impossible when you have so many people - and patients - in such a confined space."
"Tell me about it," Hawkeye agreed warily and shifted his gaze within the space again.
"Anyway, I found this place. I came back up here and left some … stuff. If we had to bug out again, I wanted to be prepared."
"You're such a boy scout."
"Yeah," I said, grabbing him by both hands and pulling him down onto the ground with me. I felt around in the corner - hands moving over the bottle and shot glasses. I wrapped my fingers around them and brought them into the light. "Drink?"
"I thought you'd never ask." For a quick moment, I saw the fear disappear from his eyes and they actually began to sparkle. "Hey, Beej? Why'd you bring two glasses? Expecting some company?"
"I wasn't sure, but, you know, just in case." I filled both glasses with amber liquid and handed one to him.
"Anyone," he paused and swallowed the scotch in one gulp. "Special you had in mind?"
"Maybe," I replied and did my own shot.
"Who's the lucky girl?"
"Who said I did this for a girl …" I admitted quietly. It was in that very moment that I realized I was still holding on to Hawkeye's hand - and I was currently stroking my thumb across the back of it. I was so shocked, that I jerked my hand out of his as if I'd been burned. A bright crimson blush warmed my face and I turned away from him. "Sorry."
An uneasy silence filled the space. The only sound, besides our breathing, was the crunching of the rocks beneath the blankets on which we sat. I glanced back in Hawkeye's direction. I couldn't see him very well, even with the lamplight, but I could hear him perfectly. I knew he was becoming anxious again. Each breath he took was short and shallow. His body was twitching uncontrollably. He was growing more and more antsy with every second that passed.
And what made things worse was that his nervousness began to infect me too. I could actually feel the space closing in around me. The air growing thinner. The light shrinking into dim pinpoints. My heart was pounding, forcing blood to rush through my body.
I was rapidly approaching the point of jumping up and running out of there, when Hawkeye beat me to it. His quick movement startled me out of my own brush with claustrophobia. I managed to get to my feet and caught him before he got more than a few feet away. I slid my arms around him and held him.
"Hawk, calm down. You're okay."
"I'm not okay. I'm freaking out! I. have. to. get. out," he said and began to struggle against me.
Instead of tightening my grip on him, I spun him around so we were face to face. I grabbed the front of his shirt and wrapped my hands securely within it. He continued fighting me, trying to pull away. But each time he jerked back, I hauled him in.
"Hawkeye," I said, trying to get him to look at me. But his eyes were darting rapidly around the enclosed space. He looked like a caged mouse. I let go with one hand and gripped his chin with it. "Hawk, stop!"
"Let me go, Beej," his tone was becoming higher-pitched, more panicked. "Please, I have to get out."
The sound of his voice and his desperate fighting were beginning to make me a little angry. I knew that what he was feeling was real to him, but seeing him like that - so completely out of control - made my blood boil. He was better than that. Stronger. And I was rapidly losing patience with him.
He jerked backward roughly one last time, and I wanted to slap him. But I didn't.
"Hawkeye!" I yelled, digging my fingertips into his jaw line and pulling his face closer to mine. He was whimpering now and I felt like I was about to lose control of my own emotions. "Look at me. Look! At! Me!"
When he didn't comply with my order, I took my hand off of his chin, slid it around to the back of his neck and up into his hair. With a little bit of pressure, I pulled him forward and covered his mouth with mine. He inhaled sharply at the initial contact and his body tensed even further than it already was. He attempted to pull away, but I held him tight.
I began to move my lips against Hawkeye's, slowly and softly, until his own tight lips loosened. His frantic fighting diminished and his body went limp in my arms. My hand dropped away from his chin and found its way down his body. It came to a rest at the small of his back.
Hawkeye's arms came up and tightened around my middle. I bent at the knees and lowered myself to the ground, pulling him down with me. Without breaking our kiss, I gently laid him on his back and positioned myself above him. As I carefully leveled my weight against him, his lips parted with a sigh. I slipped my tongue into his warm, moist mouth.
As my arousal deepened, so did Hawkeye's. His erection pressed roughly against my thigh. I allowed my body to take over and ground my hips into his pelvis. Hawkeye's hands slid under the edge of my shirt and the skin on my back prickled with gooseflesh with every touch of his fingertips. Our lips separated and my mouth moved down to his throat. Hawkeye groaned deeply.
"Beej," his voice was low, breathy. "What are you doing?"
"I'm kissing you," I mumbled against his earlobe.
"I know that," he said as he arched his back into me and exhaled. "But … why?"
"I'm trying to get you to relax," I replied, trailing my tongue down his neck, along his salty, sweat-slicked collarbone and back up the other side. "Is it working?"
"Yes and no." He grabbed one of my hands and forced it between our bodies. He placed it over his solidness and thrust his hips upward. "I'm not thinking about the cave anymore. If that's what you mean."
"Good. That's real good." I can't help but moan as Hawkeye began to gyrate beneath me. I sat up, straddling his hips, and pulled my shirt up and over my head. "Why don't we see what else we can concentrate on …"
"Sir? Sir! Captain Hunnicutt? BJ! Where the heck are you!"
Klinger's panicked voice pulled me out of sleep. I smiled when I felt Hawkeye stirring beside me.
"BJ? Damnit! We have a major problem, sir!"
I untangled myself from my friend and got to my feet. Straightening my clothes, I headed for the sound of the frantic corporal.
"Klinger, what is it?" I said with a wide yawn.
"We can't find Hawkeye! He was at the mouth of the cave late last night, and now he's gone. No one's seen him …"
Klinger's gaze shifted over my shoulder and his mouth dropped open in shock. I felt a small grin forming on my lips and glanced over my shoulder to see Hawkeye standing behind me.
"Morning, Klinger. Are you the wake-up call?" Hawkeye reached out and placed a finger under Klinger's chin. He pushed the man's mouth closed. "You'll catch flies if you do that."
"Hawkeye, sir, I, uh, I don't understand. You were … and the cave is … and …"
"Yeah, well, thanks to Dr. Hunnicutt, here, small spaces don't seem to be a problem for me anymore." Hawkeye glanced at me and we shared a smile. "He seems to have found a cure for all that ails me."
"Oh, it was nothing," I said, a giggle forming in my throat. "It was my pleasure."
"I bet," Hawkeye said under his breath, but his smile grew.
Klinger's confused eyes passed between the two of us. Then he shrugged.
"We're heading back to camp," he said and turned. "Colonel Potter gave the all clear and said it'll be about fifteen minutes until the buses leave."
"Oh, well …" Hawkeye started and put his hand on my shoulder. "I think I'm going to walk back. Get some … fresh air."
"Me too. I could use some exercise," I added. "Being cooped up in there all night with him, I could use a nice, long … walk."
"Okay, I'll tell the colonel." Klinger's eyes turned back to us. They were now filled with suspicion, and moved from me to Hawkeye, then back to me again. "See you back at camp."
As soon as Klinger was out of sight, Hawkeye grasped my hand and pulled me back into the cave.
"What happened to your claustrophobia, Hawk?"
"Claustrophobia?" he said, pushing me down onto the blankets. "What claustrophobia?"
The End
