"Don't pass out," Deeks wheezed, trying to breathe past the pain that seemed to be encompassing his body. Carly's dead weight felt so heavy on his lungs and he longed to push her to the side to unpin himself, but he knew he couldn't do that yet. Not until he could get his hands on the key to his salvation.

Deeks used his free hand to settle Carly's body more firmly on his, not willing to risk her falling from his grasp. He took a moment to pull the belt from her robe, ripping the end off with his teeth and painfully tying it around his bloody hand. The cut wasn't as deep as he originally thought, but he had to make sure nothing slipped from his grip as he got himself free. Deeks flexed his fingers, getting back the mobility he needed.

He reached his hand down her side, searching blindly for the pocket that held his way out. If she'd put it somewhere else earlier, he would've been screwed. The first pocket he found was empty and Deeks bit his lip as panic threatened to overtake him. The key had to still be there. There was no way it could've fallen out in all the chaos, right?

The second Deeks' hand made it to the other pocket and felt that little piece of metal, he sobbed. It was like the reality of everything he'd gone through came crashing down on him in that moment and he couldn't breathe. The odds had been stacked against him from the beginning, but somehow he was still alive. The full outcome was terrible and the thought of the dead bodies in the room with him made him sick, but the desperation of it all made this unavoidable.

Deeks brought his shaky hand up to his face, needing to see the key to fully believe it was there. And it was, in all its glory. Another wave of tears flowed out of him and he closed his eyes, trying to build up the strength to keep it together.

"You can do this." Deeks could feel the adrenaline leaking from his body along with his blood and he knew he had to hurry before he lost all of his energy. He couldn't come this far just to be thwarted by his body shutting down.

He shoved the key ring between his teeth, needing his hand free to do this next part. Deeks put his hand against Carly's shoulder, carefully rolling her body off of his. It was hard work and he could feel sweat beginning to bead on his forehead, but it had to be done. The goal was to just move her so she wasn't on top of him anymore, but the momentum of his pushing made her topple off the bed with a dull thud. Deeks ripped the key from his mouth just as the uncontrollable gagging started back up again. He cried out in pain as his stab wound was strained by his convulsions.

"You're so close." Deeks grit his teeth, forcing his mind to block out anything besides his goal. The only thing that existed in this room was him and he needed to get out. He was so close. Deeks eyed where the hole in the cuff was, shifting the key into the proper position. There didn't need to be any wasted movements due to fumbling.

Deeks stretched his arm across his body with a cry, feeling the stab wound burn as it was once again jostled. There were black spots invading his vision, but he blinked them away. He didn't have time to give in to his pain and let himself rest. Now was the time for work.

"Come on," Deeks whispered, shaking his head sharply to the side to disrupt the path of the bead of sweat that was making its way from his hairline down to his brow. He'd unlocked a pair of handcuffs countless times in his life and this time was no different. Deeks started panting as soon as the key slid into the hole. All that was left was a twist of his wrist.

It was honestly anticlimactic when the cuff opened and his arm fell limply to the bed. For some reason his sluggish brain had been expecting more, as if that one piece of the puzzle falling into place would solve the whole thing, but all he could do for a few moments was stare at his newly freed limb. Deeks knew he needed to move, but he just couldn't bring himself to do it. He just wanted to sleep.

"Don't- don't shut y-your eyes," Deeks stuttered, finally dragging both of his hands to his chest. His right wrist was bleeding more heavily than the other, since it had still been trapped during the fight with Russ. It looked ugly and his fingers were a bit numb, but anything was better than being stuck. Now all that was left were his legs and he'd be free.

Deeks got so caught up in the idea of leaving this bed that he tried sitting up without thinking. The fire that laced up his side and stole his breath showed him that was a bad idea. He fell back onto the bed, moaning in agony as his abdomen screamed at him. Just when the pain would lull into a background ache, he'd move and bring it back to life.

"Dammit, dammit," Deeks panted, bringing his weak hand up to wrap around his side. He could feel the blood still trickling out, but he couldn't bring himself to put any real pressure on it. A little bit of blood loss was worth not torturing himself.

Deeks tipped his head up to look down toward his feet, trying to figure out the best way to get down there to unlock himself without passing out. Sitting up and bending was a complete no-go, but he had to do something. If he focused on his left leg first, the right one would be easy to get afterwards.

Deeks decided scooting on his butt would be the best option, so he started his journey one painful drag at a time. He used his legs as best as he could, along with his arms and even his head, anything to keep the strain off of his stomach. It was slow going, but the progress propelled him further. He thanked anyone who would listen for his long arms when he finally reached his ankle, slipping the key in and freeing his third limb. Only one to go.

This last feat went relatively easy, compared to all the other stuff he'd gone through so far. With the use of his leg, he was able to hook his foot around the post his ankle was locked to and pull himself closer. It sucked having to reach with his left hand, but it was all worth it when that last latch sprang open and there was nothing keeping him in place.

Deeks started laughing once he realized he wasn't tied down anymore. He'd finally won. Nothing was keeping him in this place that was meant to be where he died. Nothing except his body, which felt like it was about to break down on him. He couldn't let that happen though. Not until he was somewhere he could get help.

There was no way he was going to step over the bodies on either side of the bed, so Deeks used his earlier technique to drag himself to the end of the mattress. The feel of the floor under his feet made him sigh in relief, relishing in that bit of control over his circumstances. He wasn't at anyone's mercy anymore, except maybe gravity.

Getting to his feet was painful, but achieved. Staying vertical was a whole other issue entirely. As soon as his support was gone, he pitched forward, just barely catching himself on the wall with a shout. Standing was making his head swim and he held onto the wall as he willed the room to stop spinning. His legs were uninjured, so he could walk. He just had to get his brain to remember how.

"You can do this. Don't look back." Deeks kept one arm around his waist and stuck the other one in front of him for balance. Slow and steady was going to be the key to this. Once he got outside and got a bit of fresh air, everything would be okay. Deeks staggered along the wall toward the door, purposefully not letting his eyes stray to where he knew the bodies were laying. There was nothing he could do about them now, so he had to forget about them.

The longer he was upright, the more his head started pounding. Had he gotten hit? Deeks thought the stab wound was the most worrying thing he had to deal with, but his head was battling for dominance. It was starting to make everything fuzzy and Deeks paused to rest his cheek on the doorway he was currently in. The hard part was supposed to be over, but now that he actually had to do something besides keep himself alive, it felt like a feat he couldn't accomplish. He'd desperately wanted to be left alone while he was stuck on that bed, but now that he truly was, he was feeling how depressing it was. It wasn't like he wanted Carly back, but he ached for someone. Some kind of support. Deeks for sure wasn't going to find it in this house. He had to do the work and get where he needed himself.

Deeks continued his trek along the wall, ending up at the door of the bathroom. He sacrificed his momentum to go inside, stumbling over to the sink. It had only been a day or two since he'd seen his reflection, but he wasn't expecting what he saw in the mirror. The blood covering his face was probably contributing to the shock, but at least most of it wasn't his. Deeks used shaky hands to turn on the tap and splash water on his face, desperate to clean the horrific evidence from his skin.

The rusty colored water dripped from his face and into the bowl. Deeks gripped the edges of the sink as his breath quickened, the reality of what he'd done hitting him hard. He'd killed people before and of course it was awful, but that was Deeks doing his job. That wasn't Marty, the easygoing guy who liked to have fun. That was Detective Deeks, the man doing his job to keep people safe. But right now, the lines were too blurred and he didn't know where to go from here. His coworkers not liking him seemed so unimportant right now. That was who he needed to find.

"Hetty." Deeks pushed himself away from the bathroom, the cold water reinvigorating his clarity and determination for the moment. He knew it wouldn't last, so he needed to do as much as he could while he was still able. His steps were purposeful as he strode toward the front door. No more stumbling along the wall. Weakness could come later. Right now, he was a survivor.

Deeks finally made it to the last thing that was keeping him from the outside world. He gripped the knob, closing his eyes for one last moment. Once he left he'd be free, but he'd also be exposed and without any support he might need. There were no other options though, so he took a deep breath, set his jaw, and opened the door.

The brightness of the sun rising caught him off guard and Deeks blinked as his eyes started to water. Had another day passed without him realizing? Did anyone even notice he was gone? His days of liaising had shown him how shitty interagency communication was, but he'd never felt the repercussions of that harder than he was right now. Even getting his ass kicked as Jason Wiler by someone who was supposed to be on the same side didn't suck as much as this. What if NCIS knew something was wrong, but decided that was LAPD's problem to deal with? He didn't think that would be the case, but he also never thought anything like this would happen to him. Deeks needed to start expecting the world to kick him in the teeth, just so he wouldn't have the pain of surprise and disappointment piled on top of everything else.

The couple steps off the porch almost spelled his doom, but he miraculously kept his feet under him. He couldn't expect anyone in this neighborhood to help a man sprawled out in a yard. They would just see someone drunk or on drugs and it was smarter to mind your own business. Deeks wondered if anyone heard the sounds of fighting coming from the house. If they'd all died, he was sure they would've stayed in that house until the smell got too bad.

Deeks got to the fence and paused, trying to figure out his best move. His car was surprisingly intact where he'd parked it down the street, but he didn't have the keys for it. They could be anywhere in that house, or possibly even gone, so he couldn't bother with going back in to try to find them. Walking was his only option.

Living in the city his whole life gave him a pretty good grasp on where he was at all times and luckily his body seemed to know which direction to go in without him having to give it much thought. He'd noticed before how close the house was to the mission and he was unendingly appreciative of that fact now. It was going to be hard enough to get there as it was, but instead of walking aimlessly and hoping to stumble upon help, at least he had a destination and goal to work toward.

Deeks started his journey, keeping his eyes pointed toward his feet. Just one foot in front of the other and he would find salvation. He skirted around the cracks and juts in the ground and winced at every curb, but he never stopped. The lack of early morning traffic in these residential streets was a blessing he wasn't sure he deserved, but he was grateful for it.

He wasn't sure how long it had been when he finally stumbled into the parking lot. His head was killing him and he was freezing cold and covered in sweat. The stab wound was screaming at him with every step he took. But none of that mattered now, because he was safe. Deeks could let someone else deal with the scene he'd just come from. He'd start on the paperwork tomorrow.

Deeks slowly made his way through the heavy front doors, dragging his feet as he walked to his desk. It was still earlier than most people showed up to the building, so it was almost silent. His own sounds of pain were the only things Deeks could hear at the moment, but he couldn't hold them back, no matter how hard he tried.

His chair looked heavenly and he slumped down into it with a hiss. It felt like forever since he'd been here, but everything looked the same. His computer was still there, along with his stack of papers. It was as if no time had passed at all. Like everything he'd gone through had been a bad dream.

The only thing different was a coffee cup sitting next to his container of pens. The sight of it just reminded him how thirsty he was, but he couldn't risk drinking whatever it was. Who knew what was inside? And the idea of getting up to find something himself was impossible. Deeks would just rest here for a few minutes, then he'd know what to do.


"Why do we have to be here so early?" Kensi grumbled, slamming her car door closed with a little more force than necessary. She wasn't in a sour mood because Deeks' car still wasn't in the lot, it was definitely about having to come in early. And she hadn't felt discouraged the day before when Deeks never showed up, leaving his sad coffee cup sitting all alone on his desk to go to waste.

"We need to get to the boat before it sets sail. If we miss it, we'll have to wait another week until they come back," Callen reminded her, scrubbing a hand down his face. Kensi knew that, but she wanted to complain anyway.

"We should just send someone from LAPD down to make them wait," Kensi grunted, stomping toward the entrance to the mission.

"Sure, so you can casually ask them if they know anything about the op Deeks is on, right?" Sam chuckled, bumping Callen's shoulder as they trailed after her.

"Of course not! They wouldn't even know anything," Kensi snapped, feeling petty and not holding the door for her fellow agents. She really needed Deeks to come back, if only to stop the teasing that was being aimed at her. It wasn't fun anymore. Kensi glanced over toward Hetty's office, planning to bring up finding out information about what Deeks was up to, since they hadn't heard anything. He was basically theirs now, so they should know what he was doing. And LAPD was notorious for their poor backstopping, so they should at least be able to provide some assistance on that front. Of course Hetty wasn't there. The woman practically lived here, but she wasn't there now. She tossed her bag on her desk and turned to face her teammates when a gasp burst from her lips.

"Deeks!" Kensi exclaimed, staring over at him in relief. She quickly schooled her features, not wanting to seem too affected by his surprise reappearance. "When did you get back?"

"Well, look who finally decided to come back to work," Sam laughed, stepping up to stand behind his desk. "How was your foray back into the minors?"

"I wouldn't say LAPD is the minors. More like a player who mostly rides the bench," Callen grinned, looking over at Deeks for one of his typical snappy responses. They didn't get one.

"Deeks?" Kensi prodded, walking over to her partner. He hadn't lifted his head up from where it was tipped toward his desk once since they'd gotten there. Something was wrong. "Are you okay?" She set her hand on his shoulder and that finally got a response. He lifted his head up to look at her, but the Deeks she'd known for a while now wasn't there.

"Could I get a bottle of water?" Deeks rasped before his eyes rolled into the back of his skull and he tipped bonelessly to the side.

"Deeks!" Kensi shrieked, watching in horror as he fell. Sam's fast reflexes were the only thing that kept Deeks from hitting the floor, the bigger man grabbing his shoulders and guiding him down onto his back.

"What the hell?" Sam muttered, checking his pulse. Kensi leaned back, covering her mouth in shock.

"Sam," Callen called out, pointing to Deeks' shirt. Sam lifted it up slightly, his face going stony when he got a look at what was underneath.

"We need to get him to a hospital," Sam declared, scooping Deeks up and carrying him like he weighed nothing.

"What did you find?" Callen asked, trotting over to the spot where they kept a first aid kit for small injuries.

"He's been stabbed and his abdomen is swollen," Sam replied, walking quickly toward the parking lot.

"We can take my car," Kensi said, shaking herself out of her stupor. She gave her keys to Callen, taking the first aid kit for herself. There was no way she'd be able to drive right now. She needed to be in the back with her partner.

Callen ran ahead, pulling the car up to the doors. Kensi climbed into the back, helping Sam slide Deeks in so his head was resting on her lap. He hadn't stirred at all since he'd lost consciousness and Kensi could admit that she was terrified. What happened to him? Why was he all alone? How long had he been sitting there?

Kensi cradled his head as Sam applied pressure to his wound and Callen sped around the streets to the hospital. What if he didn't make it? What if their last interaction had been the tense moments from before his op? She didn't think she'd ever forgive herself if she didn't get a chance to make things right.

"Come on, Deeks," Kensi whispered, running her fingers through his sweat soaked hair. "Hold on."