Deeks was in and out, mostly out, for the rest of the night. They cleaned up his wounds, though luckily none of them needed to be restitched. Kensi was by his side the whole time, never letting go of at least some part of his body. He was disoriented each time he woke up, fully in the throes of fever. Kensi just stayed calm, using the Fern trick to remind him where he was and that he was okay.
His reaction to her name, plus the bit he let slip about Carly was making the scene develop more in her mind. While before she thought that the woman could've possibly gotten caught up in her brother's problems, it looked more likely that she was just as involved. The fact that Deeks was so adamant that he not be touched by her sent a shiver up Kensi's spine. She didn't want Deeks to have to relive what he went through, but he was going to have to give a statement to LAPD no matter what. Maybe talking to her first would help soften that blow.
Hetty had disappeared with the doctor after everything settled down. Kensi saw the look on her face and she knew that Deeks would be getting a new doctor, regardless of what it took. Hetty probably had a med-evac helicopter on standby, just in case. Only nurses came in until morning, checking his vitals and giving her a wide berth.
Callen and Sam had left a few hours earlier, planning on coming back the next day with food and clothes for her. They didn't try to talk her into going home for the night, since that would be a fight they'd never win. Kensi was relieved that they were being supportive and not calling her out on what might've looked like out of character actions for her. It made her sad that her intense defense of Deeks would be surprising, since it shouldn't have been. If they were the partners they should be, it would be expected. Sam and Callen would fight for each other to the ends of the earth without a question from anyone. Maybe Kensi and Deeks could get to that point too.
"No," Deeks mumbled, rousing Kensi from her light doze. She leaned forward as Deeks shifted around on the bed, flopping his head from side to side. "Don't."
"You're in the hospital. You're safe," Kensi assured him, used to the routine by this point. "It's Fern."
"Let me out. I don't want this," Deeks whimpered, twitching his hands spasmodically. Kensi felt her stomach sink at those words. As messed up as it sounded, she wished some bad guy had tied him up and roughed him up for information. That would still be terrible, but this was wreaking havoc on Deeks mentally right now in a way that wouldn't be easily brushed aside.
"You're out, Deeks. No one is going to hurt you again," Kensi soothed, grabbing a cool rag from the side table and dabbing it along his forehead. She prayed that the antibiotics would work faster to get him through this infection. Waking up confused had to be torture.
"Don't touch me," Deeks moaned, jerking away from where her hand rested on top of his head.
"Okay, no touching," Kensi agreed, pulling back. As much as she wanted to physically comfort him, she also wanted to respect his wishes. "Do you think you can open your eyes for me again? I think that'll help." The longest he'd been awake so far had been when he'd been strapped down, but that hadn't been very helpful. Maybe if she could get him alert it would help him recognize that the danger was over.
Deeks struggled to get his eyes open, but eventually succeeded. He blinked up at her and she tried to school her features into something that was calm and pleasant. Deeks didn't need to see how panicked she still was about everything and worry him. He was going to be fine.
"Kensi?" Deeks mumbled, wincing as his words scratched out of his dry throat.
"Yeah," Kensi grinned, relieved every time he said her name. That was progress.
"I need Hetty." Kensi felt like all of the air was punched out of her lungs. After all this time, Deeks was having a moment of clarity and he asked for someone else. Kensi had been the one here all day and night, defending him from unsympathetic doctors and rough nurses, and it didn't even matter. Her partner was asking for another person.
Kensi stood up and turned away, trying to hide her hurt expression. It wasn't like he was asking for a stranger or some other friend, he was asking for their boss. But all Kensi could hear right now was that he wanted someone who wasn't her. Maybe their relationship was more fractured than she thought.
"Yeah, I'll go get her," Kensi muttered, making her way over to the door. She paused with her hand over the handle, thinking back to what Sam said to her earlier. She was letting her own emotions get in the way right now. Kensi had to put her hurt aside and think about Deeks, and storming off wouldn't help anyone right now. She took her phone out of her pocket and sent a quick text to Hetty, letting her know that Deeks was asking for her. But just because Deeks was asking for her, didn't mean Kensi had to leave. If Deeks really wanted only Hetty, that didn't mean she was going to leave him alone now.
"She's on her way, okay?" Kensi said, walking back to her seat. "Do you need anything else?" But Deeks had already fallen back to sleep.
Kensi found herself pacing around the waiting room again, trying to let out all of her pent up agitation while she had the break. Hetty had come in not long after she texted and they sat together in Deeks' room until he woke up again. He still woke up a bit confused, but immediately focused on Hetty. Kensi left the room to give them privacy, feeling the rejection stab into her heart. She shouldn't begrudge Deeks his needs right now, even if she desperately wanted to be the one in there helping him. Him getting better was the most important thing right now, and if Hetty was the one to do it, that was fine.
Hetty came back out after a little while and Kensi was ready to rush back into the room, but she stopped her with a raised hand. Kensi didn't want to leave Deeks alone for a second, but Hetty wasn't the type of person you brushed off.
"The new doctor is giving Mr. Deeks an exam right now," Hetty said, leading them over to the side of the waiting room.
"I should be in there, in case he needs me," Kensi insisted. What if he got confused and agitated by a stranger touching him? That would only make things worse.
"I was able to explain what was going to happen to Mr. Deeks before I left the room. And this doctor knows what happened with the last, so he will be working closely with us to make sure things run smoothly," Hetty replied sternly, shaking her head at the mention of the last doctor.
"And Deeks understood what you were saying? Is he awake?"
"It appears that Mr. Deeks is taking a turn for the better and becoming more cognizant of his surroundings," Hetty confirmed. Kensi felt her heart skip a beat. Her partner was getting better and soon enough he'd be back to the guy she knew. Right?
"Well, what did he say?" Kensi asked, curious to know what he needed Hetty for. It had to be something important, since he purposefully asked for her as his clarity returned to him.
"I'm afraid I can't say. It was a private conversation," Hetty deflected. Had Deeks really chosen Hetty to open up to, instead of her? Was their relationship that bad?
"Excuse me, would you mind coming back with me?" a nurse asked, interrupting their conversation.
"What happened?" Kensi demanded. If the nurses were actually requesting her presence, the answer could be nothing good.
"The doctor will fill you in," the nurse replied, leading them back to Deeks' room. Kensi knew she never should've left. Deeks needed her to be there to look out for him when he wasn't able to do it himself.
"I don't want it," Deeks muttered as they entered the room. Kensi rushed over to his side, prepared to block anyone from coming near him.
"What are you doing?" Kensi asked, squaring up on the new doctor. Even if this guy was Hetty approved, she still wasn't going to trust him.
"My name is Dr. Harrington and I'll be Mr. Deeks' physician for the remainder of his stay," the man said, nodding politely. Deeks huffed out a breath, shaking his head. He didn't seem as out of it as he did before, but with clarity came agitation. Kensi's own mood probably wasn't helping things.
"Let me go," Deeks groaned.
"It's okay Deeks, you're in the hospital now. You're safe," Kensi said, trying to reassure him that there wasn't anything left to fight.
"Make them take it out," Deeks mumbled, twitching his arms on the bed.
"Mr. Deeks has requested we remove all intravenous medication. I'm trying to convince him otherwise, but I'm not having much luck," Dr. Harrington explained. "I have been briefed on the circumstances of how he came to be admitted to the hospital, so I understand and am sympathetic, but I also have a job to do. Stopping all medication at this time would be detrimental to his recovery."
"No more drugs," Deeks moaned, looking up at her through sweaty bangs. "Please, help me." Kensi felt her heart being pulled in two different directions. She wanted to do anything that would make Deeks feel better mentally, but she knew he needed to heal his body as well. He probably couldn't realize at this point how much the medication was helping him, from the painkillers to the antibiotics. All he knew was someone else was making a decision about his body against his will.
"Deeks, do you know who I am?" Kensi asked, kneeling down next to his bedside to be level with him. Deeks hesitated a moment before jerkily nodding. "Can I hear you say it?"
"Kens," Deeks whispered, swallowing painfully.
"Good, that's good. Do you know where you are?"
"Hospital."
"That's right. You're doing great," Kensi praised. "Do you remember what happened?" Deeks grit his teeth, turning his eyes away from hers to stare at the ceiling.
"Yes," he grunted. She didn't ask him to elaborate. There would be time for that later, as much as she wanted to know everything that happened, so she would know the best way to help him. One problem at a time.
"So you know you were hurt. The medicine is to help you."
"Carly said that too," Deeks choked out. Kensi was tempted to snatch the IVs out herself. Deeks had to know deep down how battered his body was, but the pain was probably still preferable to the cocktail of drugs running through his system.
"Okay, how about this? What if Dr. Harrington explains everything you're being given, so you aren't in the dark about anything? Then we can figure out if there is anything we can cut out?" Kensi offered, darting a glance toward the doctor. "Hetty and I are both here, so no one will be able to get away with anything." Deeks sighed, closing his eyes in resignation before nodding.
The doctor explained every tube and wire and drip in excruciating detail, using medical jargon before dumbing it down into layman's terms. Deeks seemed to accept everything from the saline drip to the antibiotics, even the catheter, even though he twitched a little at that. It was when Dr. Harrington got to the painkillers that he really reacted.
"I don't want them," Deeks insisted. His eyes were still bright with fever, but he was very firm in his stance right now.
"Mr. Deeks, I understand that you may not want them, but your body does need them. Pain will hinder your body's ability to heal," Dr. Harrington explained.
"I don't care," Deeks growled.
"Is there anything you could switch to? Something besides an opioid?" Kensi suggested.
"It won't work as well for managing pain," Dr. Harrington sighed.
"But it is a good compromise, right?" Kensi asked, looking between both of them. "Something that will help with the pain but not mess with his head?"
"What you're asking for is basically glorified tylenol."
"Please. I can't- I can't take this anymore. Anything is better than this," Deeks whispered. Dr. Harrington finally gave in, saying he would order the switch in medication and put all the info into the system. When the bags were switched, Deeks visibly sagged in relief. Kensi was worried about any pain that would pop up, but she knew Deeks was tough. Anyone who made it through what he did was strong enough to handle anything, but Kensi would be by his side for any help he needed along the way.
Author's Note: Sorry for the delay! This chapter just did not want to be written for some reason. I'm eager to get through these hospital scenes and back to Deeks' POV, but I also don't want to rush through everything, since important things for the story are happening. Thanks to everyone who has been reading and enjoying this. I appreciate all comments.
