Recommended song: Part of Me by Linkin Park and (though I'm hesitant for this one) Away From Me by Evanescence. I'm probably going to use that song again - this is just the beginning of showing Bastila's feelings (and I mean the very beginning. I barely touched on stuff this time.).

Other than that...enjoy. One person so far has correctly guessed the origins of Revan's "lover", so kudos to them. I didn't mean to make it hard...

Let's see, anything else? Oh, Yuthura's relationship w/Revan will be delved into with more depth much later. I just didn't feel that this was the right chapter to discuss any feelings or points of view on that one.

Eheh, Revan's getting a little angry in this chapter. The fighting begins to wear on him, and getting denied the chance to see Bastila is a bigger blow than it seems (by that, I mean it's bigger than I've written it to be).


Revan saw the barren and rocky surface of Malachor V stretching out before him as his small, personal ship began its take-off, and he felt its call reach out to him once more.

That same call that had nearly killed him before.

He had gone down to the ancient Sith planet's surface alone, and it had nearly cost him his life. The power of the Dark side that lived in this place had crushed him, taunting him with his weakness - but he had survived. By sheer force of will, he had pulled his life from the clutches of death and had come out the victor. He was not unscathed, however, as the call of Malachor V had led him to discover the Trayus Academy and the buried secrets held within.

I've found something far worse than the Mandalorians, he thought with a small twinge of uncertainty. And if I don't do something about it, there will be nothing to stop this new threat from enslaving the entire galaxy.

- - -

He felt sunlight washing over his face and shut his eyes tighter against the unwanted beam. After a few minutes of this, he finally gave up and rolled out of bed, his bare feet touching to cold floor and causing him to shiver. Glancing at the sleeping figure in the bed next to him, his brows furrowed.

Was what he had just done right? They had both wanted it, but...

Grabbing his discarded pants from the floor, Revan slipped into them and began to pick up her clothes, folding them neatly at the foot of the bed as his retrieved each article. As he came across her pants, he felt something hard in one of the pockets and pulled it out, discovering her identification card. Though he already knew what it said, he read it anyway.

Name: Brynn Sorin

Race: Human

Age: 23

Hair: Dark Blonde

Eyes: Violet

Height: 5'3"

Weight: 120 lbs.

Revan finished gathering her clothing, dressed himself, and grabbed all of his things. With a final glance at the slumbering woman, he exited her room and entered the hallway that was mercifully vacant. Running a hand over his nearly-shaven head, he exhaled heavily. He hadn't expected his first time with a woman to be so...awkward the next morning. Maybe it was because they were such close friends...

Perhaps it would get better with practice? He shook his head. He didn't particularly wish to experiment and find out.

- - -

He felt the darkness pulsing throughout the very core of the planet, calling to him, luring him in – and he accepted. He and Malak ventured deeper and deeper into the Trayus Academy, finally coming across a map-like device that only held all of the planets in the galaxy, but with five planets surrounded by a red circle on its display: Dantooine, Kashyyyk, Tatooine, Manaan, and Korriban. A small console stood next to the map, and Revan accessed it, sifting through the information that it presented him with.

"Malak, look! This Star Forge...it sounds like a factory of unlimited power. If we could find its location and harness that potential..." Revan trailed, letting his best friend complete the thought.

"We would be unstoppable," Malak finished. "But how do we find it?"

"These planets must all have Star Maps on them," Revan said, pointing to the planets with the red circles. "If we find all of those, maybe we can find the Star Forge. But," he continued, his tone very serious, "we cannot, under any circumstances, let the Republic know of this. And if the Jedi Council finds out, I will personally kill the idiot who let it slip. Which would be you, since you will tell no one of what we've found here. Is that clear?"

Malak nodded. "Of course. I wouldn't betray you Revan, least of all to the Jedi Council."

- - -

A familiar grey fog obscured his vision, and Revan saw a statue come slowly into view through the smoke. A Star Map was in front of it, next to another statue that was kneeling, as if presenting something. The whole setting seemed claustrophobic and dusty, and he could feel the Dark side biding its time in this place, waiting for its next victim.

- - -

Revan shot up out of his bed, sweaty and feverish, his entire body trembling violently. He felt only bewilderment at the memory he had of Brynn; he had thought she was a lie, fabricated by the Jedi Council when they programmed him with a new identity. Apparently, he had been wrong. Groaning, he wiped a hand across his eyes and ran it through his tousled hair, bringing it back around to rub his jaw. He needed a shave badly. He headed for the refresher hoping to clear his head, but the memory of Brynn kept replaying over and over in his mind. Was that the only time they had slept together? It seemed to him that it was a possibility – the unease he had felt afterwards was incredibly strong, not to mention he felt guilty for it. Revan didn't think he would put himself through that again. More memories might return in time, but he wasn't going to wait around for them.

He flipped on the light next to a mirror in the refresher and stared at his reflection for a long time. His eyes were still weary and burdened, but now blurry – not to mention severely bloodshot – and he looked worn out. Even now, his complexion was paler than normal, but he was slowly regaining some of his color; a dark spot on his left shoulder caught his eye. He shifted it toward the light to get a better look at it. The mark looked to be a bruise, so he ignored it and turned his attention back to getting rid of the beard that had grown on his face. He shaved everything off except his goatee, leaving the short-cropped hair on the bottom of his chin, with a thin line running up to his lower lip. Satisfied, he splashed water on his face and toweled it off, running a hand through his hair again and musing that he needed a haircut.

The 'Jedi' padded softly back to his room, hoping not to disturb anyone else, lest he be suspected of sneaking around. Sitting on his bed with his back to the wall that served as a headboard, Revan cautiously reached out to Bastila through their bond. He felt a dull anger burning there and a bone-weary fatigue that he had not noticed before. He knew what Malak was doing, and he frowned. Very few people could stand under that type of torture, and even with his strength of will, Revan was not one of them. He could last much longer than anyone else, yes, but indefinitely? He didn't think anyone could do that. He sensed no feelings of revulsion or violation, and his hope was renewed that she had not been debased in such a manner as Darth Bandon had implied.

Revan squinted as a beam of soft sunlight hit his eyes, peeking in through the square hole that was in the wall, positioned near the ceiling and perfectly angled to allow for the dawn to be his alarm clock. Sighing, he slid off of the bed and began to dress, gathering everything he could think of to aid him in his final test. While sifting through the many possessions they owned, Revan came across the gauntlets of Marko Ragnos for a second time and remembered the fiery pain that had seared his left side when he had touched them. Intrigued by this, he picked them up again expecting to feel the same sensation as before, but was instead met with only a dull burning sensation on his left arm, shoulder and chest, and now on his right hand, in between his wrist and his thumb. Shaking his head at the unexplainable phenomenon, he placed the gauntlets to the side and retrieved a few various grenades and medical packs, along with a life support pack and some battle stims.

Clipping his twin lightsabers to his belt, he strapped a blaster on his left thigh, just in case; the small assassin's dagger was sheathed on the side of his right boot. Fully outfitted and ready to go, Revan scribbled a note on his data pad and left it in the middle of his bed where he knew Carth or Jolee would see it. With a final glance around the room, he left.

- - -

"...do you understand what I've told you?"

"Perfectly."

"Then good luck."

The massive inner doors of Naga Sadow's tomb opened before Revan, and he stepped inside without hesitation, hearing them shut and lock behind him until he was finished with his test. He immediately freed one of his lightsabers and held it firmly in his right hand, the pad of his thumb hovering over the switch: he had heard the thumps of a large creature – or creatures – down the hall. Advancing cautiously, Revan was soon able to make out two wraids of the normal variety and one Hulak wraid, a tougher species to deal with. Charging the creatures, he froze the two normal wraids and focused his attention fully on the Hulak wraid. Rolling out of the way of a swipe that probably would have taken his head off, Revan thrust his lightsaber up, shoving it through the unprotected underbelly of the creature. It let out a feeble groan as it died, but Revan paid little heed, quickly slicing down the other two wraids that were still frozen by his stasis field. Looking around, he saw that the corridor he was in branched to the east and west, but he decided to continue forward before exploring those areas. He didn't get very far, however, as he soon came upon a huge river of acid, blocking his path. Backtracking, Revan took a left and found a human corpse, relatively fresh, just outside of a doorway leading into another room.

Searching the cadaver, he pulled out a data pad and read it, closing his eyes and rubbing the bridge of his nose in frustration. There were two – two – guardian tarentateks in the room through the doorway he was currently in front of.

"I am paying dearly for my past life aren't I?" he muttered. Taking a deep breath, he cautiously stuck his head around the corner and peered inside of the room. He spotted the tarentateks at the southern end of the room, both of them facing away from him. Revan used this to his advantage, slowly inching along the left wall while palming a plasma grenade and holding the button down to prime it. When he was as close as he dared, he let go of the button and tossed the grenade at the guardians, flinging himself out of the way as an explosion ripped through the room. He rolled to a crouching position with his lightsabers drawn and ready, his eyes searching for any signs of life.

He found them.

One of the tarentateks roared furiously, charging at the 'Jedi' from out of the smoke, swinging a massive, clawed paw at Revan who narrowly flipped backwards and avoided the swipe. With a growl, he gathered the Force around his body and launched himself into the air, soaring clear over the tarentatek's head and landing on the creature's back. He plunged both lightsabers into the guardian's neck and let go of his grip with his legs on one of the sharp spines protruding out of the creature, pushing backwards and sliding swiftly to the floor. A smoking double-line on either side of the tarentatek's spine marked where Revan's weapons had done their work.

Checking the data pad again, he noticed that it offered a solution to the flowing river of acid that blocked his path. Taking the small electronic device's guidance, Revan approached the room the tarentateks had previously been guarding and gave the lever next to the door a good shove, stepping to the side as the door opened so as not to present himself as a target for anything that might be inside the room. He waited for a few seconds, and when nothing came, he entered the room and looked around, two elemental pillars catching his eye. One was of fire, the other ice; he searched both pillars and was rewarded with two respective grenades. His brain immediately tried to figure out how having a fire and an ice grenade would help him solve the acid puzzle, and he grinned as the solution hit him.

Throw the ice grenade into the acid pool and freeze it over.

Revan remembered that he still had one part of the tomb left to explore before he crossed the acid river, and he set about completing his task. As he exited the room and reentered the larger one, he noticed a mauled corpse near the middle of the western wall. Something drew him to the dead human, and he searched the body, his efforts yielding him a crystal that he had never seen before but that seemed to pulse with a light that brought the burning sensation on his left side and right hand to return in an almost angry manner. Wincing, Revan placed the crystal in his pack and began his trek to the last unexplored section of the tomb that was currently accessible to him. He passed through another set of doors, cursing loudly as they locked behind him, trapping him in the room. Four pillars with energy rings of different colors were housed within the chamber, as well as a terminal that he logged on to and began to read, cursing his luck even further when he realized that he had to solve another puzzle if he wanted to ever leave the room. The fried skeleton at the foot of the pillars wasn't very comforting as he began his efforts. He was required to move the spinning rings of energy to the far right pillar, but there were restrictions on how to move the rings. Certain rings could not be present while others were there, and there was an order to the colored rings.

Five surprisingly painless minutes later, both sets of doors in the room unlocked as Revan finally completed the puzzle. The young 'Jedi' entered the newly-opened room and searched a monument to the Sith Lord, recovering Naga Sadow's poison blade for his trouble. Strapping the sword to his left side, Revan retraced his steps to the acid pool and took out the ice grenade that he had, fingering it for a moment and contemplating his plan. Finally, with a resigned grunt, he tossed the grenade and hoped for the best. He felt a small measure of relief flood through him as the river of acid began to freeze, tendrils of ice snaking across the liquid and solidifying. Testing the ice gingerly, he found that it easily held his weight and he crossed the river quickly, making it to the other side only to be greeted by three more wraids. He blasted them with lightning, and was surprised to see them all drop to the floor deader than he had anticipated. Revan looked at his right hand with a mixture of disbelief and horror, not realizing he was capable of such power – enough to kill three fully-grown wraids at once. That was the equivalent to at least...five or six people. Pushing that thought out of his mind, he stepped inside of the room and saw the last Star Map opening to reveal its contents to him; he placed his data pad in the receptacle for it to download the information, and stepped behind the map, inspecting the statue behind it. Pressing on a small panel, Revan opened a compartment and reached a hand in, emerging with an intricately carved and beautiful Sith lightsaber. His data pad beeped, letting him know it was finished and he retrieved it, placing it in his pack with the rest of his things. Wondering if the test was supposed to be that easy, he didn't immediately notice the two figures standing outside on the frozen river of acid, waiting for him.

"It appears you have completed your test, young one," Uthar's voice said, demanding his attention.

Revan's gaze rose from the floor to look at the Sith Master in front of him. "I can't say that it was much of a challenge."

"For some, it is not. But the true test is yet to come. You must battle for you life and emerge the victor to pass this test. And you shall fight Yuthura," Uthar said, not able to keep the smugness out of his voice.

"What?" she exclaimed, then turned to Revan. "No! Remember our deal!"

Uthar's grin was sick and foreboding. "You underestimate your student, Yuthura. It was he who told me of your plan to kill me." He turned to Revan as well. "So it seems that the choice is yours. Side with me, and fight Yuthura. Side with her, and die. Which do you choose?"

Revan's gaze was defiant as he stared into Uthar's pale, yellow-grey eyes. "I choose Yuthura," he stated as he drew his violet lightsaber and held Naga Sadow's poison blade in his left hand.

Uthar laughed. "You are a fool! You won't leave here alive," he growled, igniting his crimson blade and freezing Yuthura in a stasis field.

The two men circled each other slowly, their eyes never leaving the other as they moved. Revan struck first – a tentative, probing attack. Uthar parried and struck back with lightning speed, nearly hitting Revan, and the young 'Jedi' abandoned his conservative strategy. He lunged at Uthar with a growl, smashing the Sith's lightsaber out of the way with his own and cutting deeply into the older man's flesh with the poison blade. Uthar stumbled backwards, blood already seeping out of the wound and staining his grey uniform; he shoved Revan backwards with a strong push of the Force and regained his composure.

"Ah...the poisoned blade of Naga Sadow," Uthar said grimacing, feeling the toxin seeping into his system already, "I should have known you wouldn't miss that opportunity."

"I'm smarter than you give me credit for," Revan replied, slashing at the Sith Master again.

Uthar blocked his attack and Revan suddenly felt the life being sucked out of him forcefully. In a panic, he hastily erected a Force barrier and severed Uthar's attempt to kill him.

"What the hell was that?" Revan gasped, feeling like a stake had been driven through his chest.

"Ancient Sith technique. Drain your enemy's life force and regain your own."

Revan scowled at this, realizing he had been used. "It won't help you. You're still poisoned."

Uthar coughed, blood seeping from the corners of his mouth. "I...know. But it was...worth a try."

The Sith Master collapsed to the ground, his breathing shallow and his eyes glazed.

"Tell...tell me one thing," Uthar gasped from the ice.

"And what's that?" Revan asked coldly from his spot a few feet away.

"Tell me...who you really are."

Revan raised an eyebrow. "Who I really am? That's not the question you want to ask. You want to know who I was before. You want to know that I was Darth Revan, the former Dark Lord of the Sith and Malak's master. You want to know that I was the one who slaughtered countless innocents and converted thousands of Jedi. That's what you want to know."

Uthar's eyes were full of an unspoken respect, both for who Revan used to be and the man he was now as he took in his last breath, the poison in his system finally terminating its host. Revan felt a twinge of pity at the manner of the Sith Master's death – the man had deserved a more honorable end than to be poisoned twice. Revan had counted on that when he had decided to use Naga Sadow's blade. Double the toxin in his system would be more than he could handle, and Revan had just seen the expected results of his scheming play out before him. Yuthura was now free of her bondage, and her own crimson lightsaber was drawn and pointed threateningly at Revan.

"I'm not letting you leave here," she said, her voice trembling slightly.

"I don't want to fight you, Yuthura," he replied in what he hoped was a pacifying tone.

"No, I can't let you leave here. You'll betray me, just like I betrayed Uthar. I don't want to die that way."

Before Revan could try and speak, Yuthura had attacked him with a desperation that he was not prepared for. She forced him to backpedal for a short while before he regained his footing and pushed back, easily disarming her. Grabbing her shoulder roughly, he shoved her to the ground, pressing the sharp edge of Naga Sadow's sword against her vulnerable throat.

"I am not going to kill you," he growled. "Shut up," he ordered when she opened her mouth to respond. "If you don't want to be stabbed in the back, then get away from the Sith. You don't want to be here anyway."

"But...I...where would I go? The Jedi won't take me back," Yuthura protested.

"Who said that? One of my friends turned to the Dark side and they took her back. Why wouldn't they take you?"

Revan knew that it was somewhat of an exaggeration, but Juhani had technically turned away from the Light.

"Can't I come with you?" she pleaded.

He shook his head. "You get passage to Coruscant and talk to the Council there. Tell them that I sent you or tell them whatever you want, I don't care. Just get out of here."

Revan deactivated his lightsaber and put away the poison blade of the Sith Lord, grabbing Uthar's corpse and searching it before dumping it over the waterfall that the acid river abruptly ended as.

"If we don't go back together, the Academy might get suspicious."

Yuthura looked up from her kneeling position on the ice. "I suppose you're right," she said as she got to her feet. The two left the tomb in a silence that was not broken until Yuthura informed him that she was going sort out some affairs and bid him goodbye for the time being. In the meantime, Revan returned to his friends, informing them of what he had discovered.

"I found the last Star Map," he said as he peeled his armor from his body and dressed in normal clothing, packing his gear up and getting ready to leave.

"So where's this Star Forge?" Carth asked, doing the same.

"We won't know until we plug the coordinates into the navi-computer in the Ebon Hawk. I have to make one quick stop before we leave though. It's in the cantina, and I promise it won't take long. You two can wait outside for me, okay?"

The two men nodded and continued to gather their things as Revan made his way back through the settlement of Dreshdae and into the cantina. He approached the bartender and took a seat, ordering a drink so as not to look suspicious.

"You're Mika Dorin?" he asked, keeping his tone neutral.

The bartender nodded as he mixed up Revan's drink. "Yeah, that's me."

"I've been told that I'm supposed to ask if I can see your 'premium wares'."

Mika smiled to himself and handed Revan the drink pressing a small button underneath the bar. He pulled out a data pad and handed it to the 'Jedi'.

"This is an inventory of my merchandise. Just check off what you want, and I'll get it for you."

"It must be pretty damn good, because this certainly isn't cheap," Revan replied with a lopsided grin as he perused the list.

"Not all of the components to these things are exactly legal. I have to pay off people sometimes. And I do have to make a profit."

"I understand," Revan said. "And trust me; I've got the money, so you don't have to worry about that."

After a few minutes of looking over Mika's stock, he decided on a pair of gauntlets and a few grenades. Mika produced the items on request, and Revan paid him, thanking him for the equipment and the exceptionally good drink. He met Carth and Jolee just as he was walking out of the cantina and saw that they had all of their belongings together.

"Here, I bought some grenades and a pair of gauntlets. The gauntlets are stronger than anything I've ever seen, and these grenades are pretty much illegal anywhere in the galaxy, so I figured we'd find a good use for them."

The trio passed through the rest of the Dreshdae settlement and into the docking bay; Carth and Jolee had already entered the Ebon Hawk and Revan was just about to board when he heard Yuthura's voice call his name. Grabbing one of the hydraulic arms that lifted and lowered the exit ramp for balance, he turned and watched as she jogged up to the ship.

"I'm sorry to hold you up, but I never said thank you," she stated breathlessly.

Revan smiled. "You didn't have to."

"I still should have, so...thank you."

Revan's smile persisted. "I really hope the Jedi Council is smart enough to see the truth."

"So do I," Yuthura replied quietly. "I don't know what it is that you're doing, but I hope that whatever it is, it ends well for you."

His eyes clouded with sadness, and his smile faltered a tiny bit. "Me too. I'll see you around, Yuthura."

He silently walked up the exit ramp once she had left and sunk listlessly into a chair in the main hold. Running a hand through his hair, he sighed and stared up at the ceiling, feeling the ship lift off from the docking bay and begin to pick up speed. His left shoulder still ached with a dull burn, and he rubbed it absently, not really paying attention to the pain. With his eyes now closed, he felt someone sit next to him but did not turn.

"Revan?"

It was Mission's hesitant voice.

"Hmm?" he grunted.

"Are we going to find Bastila now?"

He opened his eyes and looked at her, seeing a veiled hope on her face.

"Yeah," he said softly, "we're going to find Bastila now."

"Jolee said that you won't close the bond between you and her."

The way she said it was more of a question than a statement.

"He's right. I won't."

"Why not?"

"Because it should be me in Malak's hands, not her," he said getting up and walking out of the main hold into the cockpit. Carth gave him a quick glance as he entered.

"Plugging the coordinates in?" he asked.

"Yeah," Revan replied as he hooked the data pad up to the slot in the navi-computer for the Ebon Hawk. The computer integrated the information into its databanks and displayed a new location within seconds – right in the center of the map. Revan stared at it in disbelief.

"Bull," he stated simply.

"What?" Carth asked as he got up to see what Revan was seeing. "Not possible," he agreed. "Somebody would've discovered it."

"It's the only lead we've got, so I say we follow it. There aren't any more Star Maps."

Carth sighed. "Yeah, I guess you're right. Sit down. I'll get us there."

Both men slid into their respective seats, Carth in the pilot's chair and Revan in the co-pilot's. The 'Jedi' closed his eyes and let his head loll back against the headrest in the chair as Carth fired up the hyperdrive and punched in the coordinates for the new location. Revan saw the blue glow that accompanied hyperspace even through his closed eyelids, and he felt the familiar lag that made ones movements leaden during the initial transition from regular space to hyperspace travel. Within minutes, the Ebon Hawk returned to normal velocity, re-emerging with a bright flash just outside of a beach planet. Almost immediately, alarms started going off and red lights began to flash indicating a major problem. Revan nearly jumped out of his seat, and Carth cursed loudly.

"What the hell is going on?" the younger man exclaimed.

"I have no idea! Our engines are completely dead! We're going down!"

Revan looked through the cockpit window to the outside world and saw that they were plummeting to the surface at an incredible speed and had only seconds before impact. Any other thoughts were erased from his mind as the ship slammed into the beach sand with tremendous force, sending Revan flying into the wall across from him.

- - -

When he came to, the whole ship was still bathed in a red glow, and he heard the sparking of fried equipment. With a groan, Revan brought a hand up to his face to find still-warm blood there; he sat up slowly and blinked in an effort to see clearly.

"He's up!" he heard Canderous call. Jolee came into the room and squatted down in front of Revan.

"How's your head?"

Revan just looked at him.

"You were thrown across the cockpit into a wall. You busted your skull wide open, and I had to fix it."

"I feel great for having my brains all over the place then," Revan replied, getting to his feet. "How long was I unconscious?"

"A couple of hours at the most. Carth has said that we won't be going anywhere for a long time if we don't get the engines fixed. We figure that there must be some sort of disruptor field around the planet – we aren't the only ones who've crashed."

Revan groaned as he pushed himself to his feet, leaning heavily against the walls of the ship for support. Making it to his room, he stumbled into the refresher and switched the lights on, turning on the sink and washing the blood from his face. He stared into the mirror for a long while, looking, but not really seeing. With a sudden grunt of pure rage, Revan punched the mirror as hard as he could, shattering the glass into innumerable pieces and shredding the knuckles of his right hand.

"I am so close!" he yelled. "So close! Why are you fucking with me? How much more do I have to pay before you'll just let me be?"

Revan stared at his hands, ignoring the throbbing that came from his skin that was in ribbons. His voice dropped from a scream to just above a whisper.

"I'm sorry for what I've done. Isn't that enough? Do I have to have everything taken from me again? If you're going to put me through hell, then put me through it. Leave my friends out of it, dammit!"

He felt responsibility pressing on his shoulders again and he didn't want to accept the fact that his friends' fates rested in his hands. He didn't want the death of any more people on his conscience, but as he thought of this, he felt that what he had done during the Mandalorian Wars – the decisions he had made to sacrifice countless lives – was practice for what was to come. A shudder ran through him at this realization, and Revan straightened himself from leaning over, his hands pressed against the countertop.

Holding most of his weight up with his hands, he stared once more into the mirror and felt hatred well up within him. Hatred for the Republic, for the Sith, for Malak, for the Jedi – and then he realized that all he was really doing was blaming other people for his pain. He could blame others for his problems as much as he wanted to, but that wouldn't solve them. He could blame the Sith – the True Sith – for his decision to become Darth Revan, but that wouldn't change what he had done. And he could blame Malak for capturing Bastila and torturing her, but that wouldn't bring her back. That didn't mean he would let go of his hatred for them, however. Revan still hated Malak for who he was – a sick, spineless bastard who was going to pay for everything he had done to betray him, and everything he had done to hurt Bastila. He still hated the Republic for being the weak and pathetic parasite that it was. And his hatred for the Sith went without saying.

His introspection was cut short as he realized that his hand was still bleeding, and he sent just enough healing over it to stop the flow but not to mend the torn flesh.

No longer distracted, his thoughts resumed. Revan realized that his hatred was not solely directed at other people, but also at himself. He hated the part of him that would not go away – the part of his soul that was and would always be Darth Revan. Sometimes he felt like he was two different people, trapped inside of this one body he had been granted. Revan struggled with this much more than anyone knew, even more so than Bastila knew. Sometimes it was as if someone was screaming in his head, telling him that he was living a lie, trying to be who he was now. Screaming at him to just give in to the anger and resentment he held inside, locked away with all the rest of the pain and hurt he had suffered.

And when he did...he liked it.

He remembered all too well the rage that had gripped him on Kashyyyk when Bastila had been struck in the face. He remembered how he had relished the feeling of his blood pounding with that anger, fueling him and urging him on. And then, more recently, in Marko Ragnos' tomb, when his frustration and disappointment had finally boiled over...

Revan had notice on both occasions that though he was furious and dangerously volatile, it wasn't as if he had lost his mind. He was able to slip in and out of that state whenever he pleased, and was able to rid himself of the anger almost as suddenly as it usually came upon him. As he thought of this, he made it his goal to control his outbursts much more effectively than he had in the past.

A sudden banging on the door of the refresher made him jump.

"You alive in there, kid? You've been in there for a long time..."

It was Jolee.

"Yeah, I'm fine," he snapped. "You ever decided to just think about life while you're in the refresher?"

Jolee eyed him suspiciously as Revan opened the door and stepped out.

"What were you doing in there?"

Revan stared at the old man. "I just told you – I was thinking."

"I know that you've been stressed lately, and some people deal with that stress in different ways –"

"Just stop right there," Revan interrupted, holding up his hand. "Now what did you need me for?"

"I was just checking to make sure you weren't trying to commit suicide," the older man said in all seriousness, ruffled by the younger 'Jedi's' clipped tone.

"Is that what you were going to say?" Revan groaned. "No, I'm not going to kill myself. I promise. What good would that do me?"

"Absolutely none."

"Exactly. And am I the kind of person to engage in pointless activity?"

"No."

"Right. So what are the odds of me trying to kill myself?"

"I'm going to hazard a guess at about thirty per cent," Jolee said, rubbing his chin and gazing upward.

"I despise you, old man," Revan muttered. The young man felt a sudden urge to tell someone what he was going through but quickly shoved the idea back down into the furthest part of his mind that he could find.

"You okay?"

Revan gave Jolee an annoyed glance in the hope that it would deter the old man. "Fine," he grunted. "Where's Carth?"

"In the engine room, I think."

"Thanks."

Revan weaved his way through the corridors of the Ebon Hawk and stuck his head in the engine room, seeing the black boots that the Republic soldier wore and the edge of his orange flight-jacket behind a crate on the floor.

"Hey," he called. "How's it looking?"

"Like crap!" came the muffled response. Carth pushed himself out from the panel he had been working under. "Everything's fried. We need completely new parts."

"That's not what I needed to hear," the 'Jedi' said, his already discouraged attitude worsening.

"I know it sounds bad, but look on the bright side: with all of the downed ships around here, there's bound to be something I can rig to fix this engine," Carth replied.

"That requires exploring, doesn't it?"

Carth nodded, wiping the tool he had been using on an already greasy rag.

"Oh well. At least I like beaches."

- - -

Revan had been regretting ever letting those words slip past his lips for the past two hours, their explorations on the beach proving much more hassle than he had originally predicted. They had just finished dealing with their second ambush of Rakatan warriors – that's what they had been told the bloodthirsty savages were – and tempers were running short all around.

"Why can't I just find a bunch of nice beaches," Revan asked aloud to the sky, "with NO PSYCHOPATHS!"

"It's a law, Revan," Carth replied wearily. "Whatever can go wrong will."

Revan merely grunted as he continued up the sandy beach, taking a left as he went and following the path that was before him. His Wookie companion followed second and Carth last, the trio coming to an abrupt halt as they emerged directly in front of a large number of Rakatan warriors and their four rancor pets. Revan muttered something incoherent under his breath and reached for his lightsabers, his hands gripping the hilts and activating them in the blink of an eye.

(Wait!) someone called out. Revan paused and stared expectantly at the group of aliens. The one who had spoken earlier stepped forward, almost timidly, and regarded him with fearful eyes, his gaze lingering on Revan's weapons – or was it his hands? The 'Jedi' couldn't tell.

(We do not mean you harm, human.)

(Oh really? So that's why I was ambushed twice back there?) Revan snapped back, not realizing he was speaking their language fluently.

(Accept our apologies for that. They were the perimeter scouting parties – the ones deeper inland realized who you were and came back to report to us.)

(So you're not trying to kill me?) he asked sardonically.

(That would be correct. Our leader, the One, he wishes to see you.)

(Fine,) Revan answered somewhat resignedly, (take me to him.)

As they were led across the expansive North beach, Revan felt Carth's hand enclose around his elbow and pull him back. He gave the pilot a quizzical look, and Carth returned it.

"How in the hell did you know what they were saying?" he said in a hushed tone.

"You mean you didn't?" Revan asked in surprise.

"No! I have no idea what just happened. You were speaking it too!"

Revan stared at him like he had finally lost it. "You're kidding, right?"

Carth shook his head solemnly. "No, I'm not. I stood there and listened to you speak that alien language perfectly."

"I –" Revan began, but was cut off as they entered an enormous, circular room with cages housing equally monstrous rancors all around them. Guards were posted at each of these cages, and wicker bins lined the walls where there was space. A lone Rakatan stood in the middle of the room, his air that of a leader who demands respect loyalty and who would not hesitate to slit the throat of a traitor. A dark smirk formed on Revan's lips as he mused that he knew what it was to be that kind of leader – demanding, unforgiving and cold. It was an effective tactic, but only as long as your subordinates stayed ignorant to the fact that weren't a god.

(So it is true,) the One spoke, turning an amused but distasteful gaze on the 'Jedi'. (The infamous Revan has returned! But I ask myself why, and cannot come up with a sufficient answer. Perhaps you will enlighten me.)

Revan felt an unfamiliar anxiety clench in his gut at the One's use of the word "returned." He had been here before? He frantically searched his memory for any fragments of what had transpired on this planet, but was rewarded only with frustration as he came up blank. Revan noticed that the One had now gained a smirk to match the haughtily amused gleam in his dark eyes.

(You look perplexed.)

(You would be too if your memory suddenly up and left you,) the 'Jedi' growled.

(I would suggest being more respectful in the future if you wish to stay alive very long,) the One said stiffly, the anger evident in his grey face. Revan's face split into a predatory grin, baring his canines in a most animalistic manner.

(I don't care who you are or how many people you rule or how big of an army you have,) he spat. (I know fear when I see it, and there is fear in your people's eyes when they look at me.)

(You're beginning to sound like the Revan I first met.) The One turned his head up slightly and stared above his guests as he spoke. (I remember how you ripped our language from me, even as you drove basic into my skull so we could communicate. I remember how you talked, promising to aid me, but you lied. There was always a shadow with your words – I could never take them for what they seemed to tell me. The same was with your bald friend, but he did not have the gift as you did.)

(Malak?)

(Yes, that was his name. Very imposing for a human – tall, capable, strongly built – but he followed you like a kath pup would follow the alpha male.)

(If there is something you wish to try and get out of me, I would rather you just ask me. I hate being backdoored,) Revan stated, getting the feeling that this was all pointless chatter.

(And why would you think I want something from you,) the One asked with a perfect façade of coolness.

(I can tell you don't like me. Apparently, I lied to you about something the first time I was here.)

(Your point?)

(I lied, but I get the feeling that the offer is still open,) Revan continued confidently. (There's something that you want more than anything else in this place, and I'm willing to bet that you'll give me a second chance to get it for you.)

The One allowed a smile to come upon his face. (You haven't changed at all, Revan. Still impatient, still headstrong, and still stupid.) The young 'Jedi' bristled at this, his eyes darkening with anger and his body becoming tense. (Oh please. You would be even more of a fool to attack me here – now – before I've even told you what it is I want.)

(I'm quite confident that I could rip it from your bloody throat,) Revan replied in a grunt. This alien's condescending attitude was clawing at his last nerve and he was already in a very disagreeable mood. (Besides, that was three years ago. I can promise you that I've changed since then.)

(Growing older doesn't mean one grows up.)

(Spouting wise-ass remarks doesn't make one wise.)

The One grinned at Revan's comeback. (I suppose it doesn't, does it? No,) he said, answering his own question. (But tell me, why should I give you another chance at the task I asked of you during your first visit, Revan?)

(You won't be giving me anything. You wanted to see me, and I came. I'm not your puppet.)

(Aren't you?) the One asked, pacing back and forth. (Let me explain the rules to you: if you accept my request and complete it, I will aid you in getting off of this planet, which is what I know you wish to do. If you refuse my offer...then I'll kill you.)

Revan raised an eyebrow. (If you think I'm afraid of you, then you're sadly mistaken my friend. You couldn't kill me if you wanted to. Not when I can do this,) he extended a hand and froze a passing Rakata in mid-stride, (and there's nothing you can do to defend against it.) The One's eyes narrowed and he knew that he had hit a weakness. (But,) he continued, (since I would like to get off of this planet, I'll hear out your offer.)

The One stared a little longer at the static Rakata before shifting his gaze to meet Revan's. (There is another tribe on this island called the Elders. They are a technologically advanced tribe, and they possess a tome that I wish to have. Did you see the large temple as you crashed?) Revan nodded. (They know how to get into that temple, and the tome that I want contains the same information. If I have the tome, I can get inside the temple. The task is simple: get the tome for me.)

(Why do you want to get inside the temple?)

(That is my business,) the One said coldly, signaling the end of that discussion.

Revan thought for a moment, weighing his options. At the moment, he had no other way to get off of the world they had crashed on, and he didn't wish to have a war on his hands by refusing the One's offer.

(Fine,) he said, coming to a conclusion. (I'll get your tome.)

(Very good. While you are here, feel free to look around. You visited our historian last time you were here, and may do so again if you wish,) the One replied with a barely concealed smugness. Revan resorted to clenching his fists to keep his temper in check and walked as fast as he could – his pace bordering on a jog – to get out of the Rakatan complex.

"If that idiot thinks he can push me around, he's got another thing coming – my lightsaber up his ass," he muttered as the trio kicked up sand. His temper increased as he realized something important. "I didn't even bother to ask where this other settlement was!"

(I would guess as far away from this one as possible; it's probably on the southern end of the island,) Zaalbar suggested.

"You're probably right," Carth agreed. "Hey, are you okay?"

Revan glanced at his friend. "Do I look like I'm okay?"

"No."

"Then what do you think my answer to your question will be?"

"A no."

"Good job."

"You know what it really meant, Revan. Stop being stupid and avoiding the question," Carth said irritably.

"Why do you want to know what's bothering me? It's not affecting you," Revan shot back.

"No, it is affecting me. It's affecting all of us. And we can't help you if we don't know what's wrong."

"Has it ever occurred to you that I might not want your help?" Revan snapped angrily, regretting it as soon as he saw the look on Carth's face. Stopping, he apologized. "I didn't mean that," he said quietly.

"Revan...having problems and doubts doesn't mean you're weak. It means you're human."

The 'Jedi' ran a hand through his hair and rubbed the back of his neck. "I know that..." He smiled ruefully. "This is what you must've felt like after Saul bombed Telos," he said. "Helpless and angry."

"Yeah," Carth agreed, "Yeah, I felt helpless, but that's only because I was. You aren't."

"Hn," was all that the younger man said, turning and walking along the beach again, this time, along a different path. So absorbed in his own thoughts was he that he barely noticed the unfortunate gizka that suddenly exploded twenty feet in front of him. Shocked back into reality, the 'Jedi' brought his full attention to the area around him and quickly notice a large amount of mines.

"As sorry as I feel for that gizka, I am very glad he blew up," he commented, gingerly approaching a mine and disarming it.

(Poor, stupid creature,) Zaalbar agreed.

"Hey," Carth said, interrupting, "is that a pile of parts?"

Revan's eyes followed in the direction that Carth's finger was pointing. "I can't tell from here. Hold on, I'll check it out."

As Revan ducked under the large piece of metal that hung off of the massive ship that was crashed in this area, he exhaled in frustration. He could see the mines that were surrounding the parts and silently cursed the people that had put them there. Setting about his task, he disarmed three mines before Zaalbar's rough growl cut into his concentration.

(Revan stop!)

The former Sith Lord halted all movement. "What's wrong?"

(You're about to trigger that plasma mine. I will take care of it, but you mustn't move.)

"Sure thing," he grumbled. Revan watched as the Wookie carefully stepped around him and started working on the very mine he had just been trying to disable. It had been designed to require two people to do the job, but presented as a simple configuration easy enough for one man to attempt.

(Done,) Zaalbar said when he was finished.

"What kind of death could I have expected if you hadn't have caught that?" Revan asked while motioning for Carth to join them.

(A very painful one. The plasma mine would have spit molten hot plasma onto your body and you probably would have, in essence, melted to death,) the Wookie replied.

"Right. Thank you doesn't cut it then, but it's all I've got right now."

Zaalbar gave Revan a gentle smile. (My life debt means I must protect you. I am only fulfilling my duty.)

Carth had now joined them, and the 'Jedi' addressed his friend. "You think you'll be alright if we leave you alone and scout ahead?"

"Sure. I'll get all the parts I can out of this pile. D'you want me to join you up ahead?"

"Unless one of us comes back and tells you differently. Let's go Zaalbar."

The path extended straight ahead of them but made a sharp left at one point; Revan and Zaalbar were cautiously making their way along the straight section and halted as they rounded the corner.

"So..." he said in a near whisper, "which one do you want Zaalbar?"

(I am indifferent.) There was a pause. (And I hate choosing first.)

Revan saw that the Wookie had a large grin plastered on his furry muzzle. "Well...I don't think we're going to have much of a choice." He pointed ahead of them. "They've noticed us."

The two rancors that had been patrolling the area had finally noticed the intruders, and were now snorting and growling, kicking up sand in preparation for a charge. Zaalbar tossed Bacca's blade up in the air and caught it expertly, the sword now pointing behind him instead of in front, and Revan knew what the Wookie was going to do. He copied his companion, igniting his violet lightsaber and holding it the same way, giving Zaalbar a small nod to indicate he understood. Returning their attention to the rancors, they saw that the two beasts were lumbering at them at a surprisingly fast speed, and they both sunk into a ready position, their knees bent and prepared for a sudden change of direction. They held their ground, waiting until the rancors were mere feet from them and then spun toward the creatures, ducking the swipes of beasts' claws as they did so and cutting deeply into the front of the creatures' legs. As they continued to spin, both Revan and Zaalbar flipped their blades back to hold them in the normal grip and slashed at the rancors' legs again, their weapons biting into the animals' hamstrings. The two males quickly finished off their quarry, Revan by severing the rancor's head from his body, Zaalbar by impaling his sword into the other beast's skull.

Revan looked up at the sky with an uneasy air, but his face was blank, almost as if his thoughts were somewhere else. "That got dark very fast," he commented, sounding distracted and like he wasn't really referring to the sky.

"Yeah, it did."

Revan's eyes focused on Carth for a split second, registering that he had rejoined them before flicking back up to the sky and searching. Carth and Zaalbar watched him with curious interest, but he gave no signs as to why he was doing this.

"I'm looking at the Star Forge," he said finally, after they had continued to stare at him expectantly for another few minutes.

"You can tell which one it is?" Carth meant out of the bright specks of light, the planets and stars that dotted the sky.

He nodded.

"How?"

He shrugged, turning away from the dark bluish expanse and looking across the sandy beach in front of him. Another settlement was quite near them, this one without Rakatan warriors milling around in front of it, but more imposing nonetheless. A ring of lightning jumped from small pillars constructed around the complex, a single path allowed by having a solitary junction free of lightning. The space looked ominously inviting, but Revan entered into the ring of lightning anyway, ignoring the unspoken warning. When he had come as far as the defensive electricity would allow, he stopped and waited, knowing it was no longer his move. Within a few seconds, a holographic image of a Rakatan appeared and spoke.

(What is your purpose here?)

Revan thought carefully for the correct answer to the question. If the Elders were technologically advanced, then they would most likely have knowledge about the Star Forge. After all, it floated above their planet.

(I'm looking for the Star Forge,) he replied calmly, but there was an undertone of simmering rage in his voice. It had been there since they crashed on this planet, and it was practically begging to get out, but Revan knew why he felt this way, so he kept his anger shoved down – Malak wasn't going to be spared any of his wrath.

(What is your name?) the projection asked.

He didn't hesitate. (My name,) he said, (is Revan.)

- - -

Every bone in her body ached and the pounding in her skull was almost too much to bear. It felt as if someone was bashing her head against the floor again and again and was trying to split it in two. A feeble groan escaped her lips as she felt it return.

The anger. The burning hatred that was slowly reaching all the way to her core.

She wasn't stupid. There was no way that she was going to give herself to this evil, but if she was going to get out of this situation, then she was going to have to play along – at least for a little while.

She knew this, and it was the beginning of her downfall. It opened her up to becoming corrupted by the Dark side – something that she had foolishly believed herself to be strong enough to resist on her own.

She heard the sound of doors opening but didn't turn her head. She knew who it was.

"Bastila," the rasping, mechanical voice said with an unmistakable glee in it. "How are we feeling today?"

Bastila didn't reply – there was no point.

"You know," Malak continued, the twisted delight he was getting from this increasing, "I wonder why the Jedi Council hasn't sent a rescue party for you yet."

Malak watched as Bastila's icy, blue-grey eyes slid to him and stared at him with the utmost hatred. "They don't know I'm here. You know that," she said, her voice barely audible after a week of screaming.

"Yes, you're right. I can't help but notice, however, that Revan does."

The pain in her eyes was instantly recognizable at the mention of Revan's name.

"I wonder why it's taking him so long. I know that he cared deeply for you – or at least, I thought he did. Doesn't seem like it, does it?"

Bastila's mind fought against Malak's words – she knew they weren't true – but she was so tired...and why else would it be taking Revan so long? Part of her reminded Bastila that she didn't know Revan, the real Revan, the one that had existed before her strike team had boarded his ship and Malak had nearly killed him. She had no idea what he was capable of...and he would've come by now, wouldn't he?

"I see that you agree," Malak's voice said, cutting through her muddled thoughts. "You wouldn't be the first that Revan's left behind. After he became a Sith, of course. I couldn't tell you how many women he had, because I stopped keeping track after a while. The one time I tried to offer one..." the Sith Lord brought a hand to his nose, "...well, that is another matter. My point is, you are not the first beautiful woman Revan has had. Emotional attachments were the last thing on his mind...so what makes you think you are special to him? He can be very charming when he wants to be, as I'm sure you've seen. I've seen it as well, a hundred times before. He makes you feel like you are his, like you mean more to him than anything else, doesn't he? Like he won't ever leave you and he'll keep you safe, no matter what?"

Bastila felt tears welling in her eyes as Malak spoke. If Revan had no qualms about leaving other women, how did she know that he would stay with her?

NO! her mind screamed. You've seen the sincerity in his eyes! You've seen how protective he is of you! The old Revan might have been like that, but not this one.

"Ah, you're telling yourself that he's changed, aren't you?" Malak asked, a grin evident even through his metal jaw. She was playing right into his hands. "Tell me then, how can a man like Revan, who was the most morally upright, compassionate, courageous man you would have ever met before the Mandalorian Wars turn into a brutal, cold-blooded murderer? It's only possible if those traits were there to begin with. Revan isn't the man you know. The Jedi brainwashed him to be their puppet, and they suppressed all of his old personality. Now that he knows who he is, rest assured that his real self will come back with ease."

He paused, seeing that exhaustion was threatening to envelop her, and electrocuted her mercilessly. Her scream echoed throughout the metal room, reaching past the walls and into the hallways, many soldiers hearing the cry and turning their heads.

"He's not coming for you, Bastila," Malak said harshly. "He's coming to try and kill me. You know this. Tell me, what have you felt of him through your bond?"

Bastila felt herself believing what Malak had said of Revan's motive as she replied as best she could. "Anger...ha...hatred...fear."

"Love? Concern? Worry?"

She shook her head feebly.

"See? I know Revan. He wants to kill me, and that is the only thought in his mind right now. He's left you to me, just like you should have left him to die."

Those words hit a raw spot inside of her, and she felt her anger swelling. She had saved his life once...didn't that mean anything to him?

"I can help you repay him for what he's done. I don't want to kill you, my dear. I never did. You have something I want, something I need, and I believe that I now have something you want as well."

Bastila's eyes clouded with uncertainty, her sleep deprived brain struggling to remember what she knew was right and wrong. All she could feel was what she was feeling at this very moment, and it felt right. The anger inside of her...she couldn't remember where it had come from, but now it had a reason to be there: Revan.

He had lied to her. He wasn't any different than before.

But he is different, you kno –

Her brain ceased to function rationally as Malak forced her to endure another agonizing electrocution.

"I have something you want." he repeated firmly. The Sith Lord used a small bit of the Force to make sure Bastila agreed with his next words. "Revan betrayed you, didn't he?"

With no way to draw upon the Force to block his strong persuasion due to a Force restraining collar, Bastila heard herself say "Yes."

Malak's despicable grin returned. After a solid week of no sleep, he was slowly breaking her. Now he had Bastila exactly where he wanted her: so exhausted and angry that she was susceptible to Force persuasion.

Now all he had to do was focus that anger in the proper direction...


Okay, here are the lyrics for these two songs, as I don't actually have them myself, I just found them and thought they went along with the story at least somewhat.

The Linkin Park song is for Revan, Evanescence is for Bastila.

Part of Me - Linkin Park

Part of me won't go away
Everyday reminded how much I hate it
Weighted against the consequences
Can't live without it so it's senseless
Wanna cut it out of my soul
And just live with a gaping hole
Take control of my life
And wash out all the burnt taste
I made the problems in the first place
Hang my head low 'cause it's part of me
Ya hardly see right next to the heart of me
Heard of me the routine scar
New cuts cover where the old ones are
And now I'm sick of this
I can't stand the sandpaper thoughts that grade on my sanity
I rather not even be then the man that's staring in the mirror through me

Pre chorus
Cut myself free willingly
Sstop just what's killing me x4

I feel it everyday
I feel I made my way
I feel it swell up inside, swell up inside
Swallowing me

Freedom can be frightening if you've never felt it
Once it's been dealt with you feel like you've been touched by something angelic
And then melted down into a pool of peace
Cease to be the animal you used to be
Remove the broken parts you know were wrong
And feel the karma when the problem's all gone
And then you start to see another piece of yourself that you can't let be
Memories of the last fight to free yourself
Take it to the depths of the bottom of the well
And now you know you can choose to lose the part in your heart
Where your insides bruised
You can live if you're willing to
Put a stop to just what's killing you

Pre chorus x4

Chorus

(Alive in me, inside of me, a part of me screams away silently
This part of me won't go away, part of me won't go away
Everywhere I look around I see how everyone aught to be
Every time I see myself I see there's always something wrong with me)

Chorus x2
I feel it swell up inside, swell up inside, swallowing me x2

Away From Me - Evanescence

I hold my breath as this life starts to take its toll
I hide behind a smile as this perfect plan unfolds
But oh, God, I feel I've been lied to
Lost all faith in the things I have achieved
And I

CHORUS:
I've woken now to find myself
In the shadows of all I have created
I'm longing to be lost in you
(away from this place I have made)
Won't you take me away from me

Crawling through this world as disease flows through my veins
I look into myself, but my own heart has been changed
I can't go on like this
I loathe all I've become

Chorus

Lost in a dying world I reach for something more
I have grown so weary of this lie I live

Chorus