Wild-filly: Once again, many thanks to everyone who has reviewed ^_^ And thanks to Curlybear in particular who pointed out that Kakashi was 14 when the Fourth Hokage died. My feeble excuse for this? Well, I went around a whole range of different sites, most of which offering me different ages for him, so I took a guess at 28. This therefore had him as 16 when the Fourth died, so I apologise if my calculations are a little out of proportion to others ^_^;; I tried! Coincidently my month calculations are a little off as well and the moral of this story is? Even in fanfiction, wild-filly sucks at maths in all shapes and forms – end of story -_- and also the beginning! *gags at appalling attempt at cheap humour* I also apologise for any grammar or spelling mistakes, as I am more or less too absent minded to find them all during editing ^_^;;

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Naruto cast, which in itself is an unfortunate thing, however the fact that I am a highschool student writing fanfiction in her spare time is perhaps even more unfortunate ^_^;;

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Okumen Gokurakuchou: Chapter 2

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The room was now deathly silent, save only for the constant scratchings of the Chuunin all attempting to remember the theory skills they had more or less forgotten the instant they had graduated as Genin. Kakashi blinked, pencil flickering uncertainly between his fingers. He had reached the train of thought process that requires the thinker to chew absentmindedly on the end of their pencil while staring hard at the ceiling with the chair teetering a scarce millimetre from flipping over backwards before the brainwave could come. Damn this stupid mask for ruining the prized concentration method.

Not that he, Hatake Kakashi was having troubles with a mere exam paper that is. A genius does not have such meaningless issues. On the bright side, if he were having mentally painful moments with the paper, then it couldn't compare to the agony Gai was going through.

Cheered up considerably by this thought, Kakashi resumed his untidy scrawling over the otherwise perfect exam sheet. Just because he had the right answers didn't mean the page had to be legible. For all the marker knew Kakashi could have written in a completely different language about what he did on his holidays. Still, it would be a nice change from the standard, monotonous printing that was taught in the Academy. Everyone had to have some way of self-expression, even if it was as unoriginal as handwriting.

Glancing sideways from his now-complete paper, he noted the intense look of concentration writ over Masurao's face as he scribbled furiously over the page. That was Masurao for you; be tried his absolute hardest at everything to get to the level he was at. The fact that most of the equations he was pencilling out would bear little relevance to the question and more or less lead him to the right answer through sheer coincidence was another matter. His strategy for exam papers was more or less the same as his fighting technique, but perhaps not as affective.

Ebisu was also scribbling at a terrific rate, even though he was probably the exact opposite of Masurao. He would use minimum effort and was more than likely to come to the wrong answer and know exactly how he got there. Theory work came easily enough, but as far as fighting styles went, he had the theory perfect but the moves themselves were nothing special. All in all, he was destined for a life of teaching techniques rather than preforming them himself – perfect for such a teacher's pet. Asuma was also finished, staring around the room with a bored expression rivalling Kakashi's own. The two caught eyes and Asuma smirked, Kakashi's own grin more or less hidden.

The grin faded slightly as the twitch of a familiar black and white ponytail caught his eye. The Chuunin he kept unintentionally flattening still appeared to be in a state of pent-up fury and was currently venting it on the poor, unsuspecting paper. Vivid black strokes cut deep into the page, dark enough for Kakashi even at his distance to tell that she was gouging the correct answers into the page and possibly even the battered desk beneath. It was a shame she loathed him so; she wasn't that objectionable to look at, even with the nasty death glare she kept shooting him.

He was so busy musing over how much she must hate him and how this was directly proportional to how much Gai hated him that his ears barely registered the sharp order from the front of the room.

"Enough time. Pencils down; pass the papers to the front".

Kakashi debated writing a note on his paper addressed the anonymous victim of his own clumsiness, but decided against it at the last moment in case a different person took the message as their's. That would certainly not be a pleasant situation. Better to wait until he was in a nice crowded area to apologise; that way she wouldn't be able to murder him in front of so many witnesses.... In theory.

With a sigh he tossed his paper forward to the scarred ninja in front and clambered out of his chair, wincing momentarily at the raising bruises gained from the unexpected detour through the ceiling. The Jounin up the front ignored the Chuunin as they filed out the door, murmured conversations filling the corridor as they escaped the unpleasant atmosphere that accumulates in an exam room. As Kakashi attempted to skirt past her desk unnoticed, her head jerked up and golden eyes fixed him with an intensely irritated sneer.

"You. Wait here".

Sighing and sitting down on the nearest desktop, Masurao automatically stood next to his best friend. The Jounin sent the same mocking sneer at him, "door not good enough for you either? Wait with the other idiot. And where has the other one gone?"

"I am here, Sensei".

Kakashi turned slightly to see Gai standing beside the sadistic teacher, arms tightly pinned to his sides and back curved in an awkward half-bow. He's almost as bad as Ebisu at times.... Almost. She snickered maliciously, short locks momentarily appearing to be a rather disturbing blood red and perfectly fitting the for mood. "The Hokage will speak to you soon. Have fun explaining this one to him".

With that parting comment, she swaggered out of the room as three pairs of eyes followed her ever moment in increasing levels of dislike.

"I hope the Kyubi stands on her someday", muttered Masurao bitterly, squeaking his shoes impatiently against the polished wood.

Kakashi shook his head, "I wouldn't wish any demon that kind of misfortune".

Gai's face contorted; an inner debate on whether or not to stand up for the obnoxious sensei or maintain the fact that even he thought she was obnoxious raged in a mental tug-of-war. No. He couldn't fall to rival- Kakashi's level. Only Kakashi was the one deemed obnoxious in Gai's book, as well as several other less-flattering names.

"It is better that your own original sensei is the one to reprimand us! He will know how to give us suitable punishment according to our past histories!"

Masurao couldn't cope; he lurched sideways in such haste to get away from Gai that he forgot all about Kakashi and the tentatively balanced desk located directly sideways from himself.

"What the-?!"

Kakashi, Masurao and the desk clattered to the ground, sprawled in varying stages of lack of dignity, yet mercifully spared the embarrassment of Kakashi's previous position. Gai doubled over with laughter as the two Chuunin cursed loudly and attempted to untangle themselves from the legs of the desk, just in time for the Fourth to enter the class.

The troubled, pensive shadows over the Hokage's face scattered momentarily as he took in the utter patheticness of the scenario. "What on earth are you three doing? First I hear you've smashed a hole in the ceiling and managed to harass a girl you've never met and now you're brawling with the furniture?!"

Looking feebly up from where he was gingerly nursing a new bruise on his hip, Masurao gave a pathetic sigh, "we try to do you proud Sensei, we really do; but the general surroundings are out to get us!"

Kakashi nodded, "Hai, it's a conspiracy to prevent us from passing the Jounin exam".

Gai shook his head dismally at the other ninja, "I humbly beg your forgiveness Hokage-sama and ask that I may try my best to pass the Jounin exam to prove your forgiveness well bestowed".

All their words were met with silence. Gai glanced up from his crouching bow, Kakashi and Masurao leaping to their feet to face their Sensei, whose own head was ducked from view. The adult's shoulders shook, trembling under their crisp ceremonial robes. Kakashi stared in disbelief; they couldn't have disgraced their Sensei to the point of tears, could they?

Masurao obviously thought the same thing, slowly stepping forward, brown eyes filled with concern and apprehension, "Hokage-Sensei? We're not really that paranoid, honest!" He stretched out a hand, about to place it on his mentor's shoulder when the man's hand caught his own. The Hokage looked up with a grin, blue eyes partially closed in humour.

"Look, just try to leave the buildings in tact ok? You did the right thing in that you didn't abandon the mission and have successfully completed it, with minimal damage to innocent bystanders". He threw a mocking glance at Kakashi who bent his eyes in a cheerful smirk in response.

He sighed, shaking his head and returning his gaze to the smooth floorboards, "I won't be here to witness the next parts of the exam. The Kyubi is moving closer to Konoha and I really cannot afford to be out here any longer. Please... do your village proud and try to be a little more serious".

With one last smile, the Hokage swept out of the room, white robes flickering out behind him, down the passage and out of sight of his two pupils and their "comrade".

"Well", said Masurao after a moment's pause, "hadn't we better go find the rest of the class?"

*

"The written theory test was the most straight-forward of all your tasks, however things will no longer be as easy as simply walking into a classroom and writing out a couple of easy answers".

"And judging from our past record, this does not bode well", growled Masurao for Kakashi, Gai, Ebisu and Asuma to hear. They all snorted appreciatively, drawing an irritated glance from the heavy-set Jounin male standing in the centre of the raised platform. There was now a distinct gap where the Fourth Hokage had previously stood, filling Kakashi with a slight sense of foreboding even just looking at the space.

The Jounin cleared his throat irritably, "The next part of the exam will have a time limit of one month. Those who cannot complete the task assigned will be failed from the exam".

Masurao face-faulted in shock, Kakashi raising one eyebrow, "not the easiest one in history, ne? What do you suppose it is; teaching Gai how to wash his hair?"

The ninja in question lunged for Kakashi's throat, eyes taking on the unusual hue of fire that they had a tendency to do whenever he was particularly annoyed, "DAMN IT, RIVAL-KAKASHI, YOU'D KILL FOR HAIR THIS GLOSSY!"

Before either of the Chuunin could land a strike or even give their friends sufficient time to start choking with laughter, a kunai skimmed through the air, cutting a shallow gash in Gai's cheek and slicing a lock of silver hair from the nimbly-dodging Kakashi. Gai froze in mid leap, skidding to straight standstill with watery eyes as tiny droplets of blood oozed from the wound, "Sensei! Forgive me! I was wrong to be overly prideful and ignorant!"

The Jounin ignored Gai's self-rebuttal and snarled, "you brats will listen to what I have to say or not only will you fail the exam, you'll never be allowed to take it again! Your village doesn't need immature oxygen drains like yourselves to protect it". His iron-grey eyes locked on Kakashi's, filled with pure hatred. Kakashi stared calmly back. He thought he'd recognised this man from somewhere; not the face, but definitely the voice. Members of the ANBU didn't necessarily know all the other members of the assassination team. It helped you not become too attached to anyone, or too full of information if you were captured.

"Understand?!"

"Hai, Sensei", murmured Kakashi placidly. ANBU training was especially useful for zoning out all the nasty little insults implied and focussing purely on the task at hand... more or less in his case. Gai slunk back to where he had been standing, shaking with emotion. Kakashi debated feeling sorry for him; Gai wasn't as used to being verbally abused as he was, no matter how weakly.

Breath heaving in furious gasps, the Jounin calmed before returning to the speech, "You will be divided into groups of five to begin with, then you will each be given a section of a code to memorise. That is all you need to know for now".

Ebisu shuffled apprehensively, "I'm not so sure I like the tone of his voice in the "for now" part". Masurao nodded stiffly in agreement, "to repeat myself - this also doesn't bode well... oh my, look who it is".

Turning to where the depressed Chuunin was staring dismally, Kakashi saw the well-mannered woman with crimson hair stalking towards them with an indecently sadistic smirk on her face. Despite being more than a foot shorter than himself, he was more than a little wary of her.

"You three; the ones who fell through the ceiling. This way."

With a mournful glance toward Asuma and Ebisu, Masurao sighed and followed dejectedly at the heels of the Special Jounin as she strode off towards an opened door in the side of the elegant building. Kakashi and Gai followed, purposely keeping out of one another's airspace, which for Kakashi's preference, would have been several continents in distance but would have to suffice as about fifty metres for now.

Ducking through the low doorframe, he was met for yet another unpleasant surprise for the day.

"Kakashi-kun! I haven't seen you since you were nine!"

A strawberry-blonde whirlwind erupted from a corner of the room and launched itself around Kakashi's shoulders, her delighted laughter filling the bemused room.

Partially dying from oxygen deprivation and embarrassment, Kakashi tentatively craned one arm up to pat the shrieking Chuunin on the forehead. "Hai, hai, hai, it's nice to see you too Akiraka-chan".

She released him, oak-brown eyes sparkling with mischief, "did you and Masurao-kun plan that entrance? Sensei was going to come and tell you off afterwards, but I didn't know whether he'd fail you, especially remembering what you did to his house on Halloween when we were Genin..."

Kakashi coughed hurriedly, attempting to mask this comment from hearing as Masurao grinned with a smirk that bore an evil resemblance to their Jounin teacher for the exam.

"Do you still have the photos of Kakashi's surprise birthday?"

Akiraka's eyes widened in recognition and she fell into a fresh fit of giggles as Masurao snorted in glee. Kakashi glared at them both. Which one to kill first and in what horrendously brutal manner? Curse Akiraka, her stupid camera and stupid blackmail tendencies...

Gai brightened, "what photographs are these?"

Akiraka collapsed into a further fit of laughter, "have... you...ever, wondered what seven year-old Kakashi would be like on a sugar high?" The laughter took over again, infecting Masurao while Gai grinned slightly and Kakashi fumed at the hideousness of the world and all its inhabitants.

The Special Jounin had left the room, returning with yet another piece in the horrible puzzle that was becoming Kakashi's existence. A piece of puzzle with black and white hair and suspect homicidal feelings towards a person who meant a lot to him. Namely himself.

Akiraka leapt up from the floor, regaining control of herself with unnatural speed, "hey Kurotaka-chan! I didn't think you'd be with us!"

The one dubbed Kurotaka smiled faintly, "neither did I Akiraka-san", deep blue eyes trawled over the room's inhabitants, freezing on Kakashi's face, "neither did I".

Akiraka draped an arm over Kurotaka's shoulder, "we trained at the same times completely by coincidence, have you met these three Kuro-chan? These are Maito Gai, Irai Masurao and Hatake Kakashi".

"I've seen them before. May have bumped into them couple of times."

A dry cough caught the group's attention.

"If you're quite finished re-establishing the fact that your lives are tiringly predictable, may I continue the instructions?"

She was met with cold silence that more or less could be taken as an agreement.

"Good". She seized a pile of scrolls lying cluttered on a nearby desk, handing one to each Chuunin before returning to her stance in front of the dusty blackboard.

"Each of the scrolls contains a code that has to be deciphered and the scrolls then pieced together in order to show you what you must do in order to pass the exam".

Gai's eyes shone, "we will not rest until we have broken this code! We will finish the exam before three days have passed!"

The Jounin snickered, "so sure are you? There is another part to this exam".

Kakashi sighed mentally – prepare for the weight to be tied on your shoulder before starting the obstacle course.

"You will be knocked unconscious and taken to random locations within any of the participating countries. Your task is to find out where you are, relocate your team, crack the code, piece it together and then carry out the instructions written. All within the time of a month. Try to survive. Some of the places you may be left aren't all that pleasant".

A white blur flew at him from behind at ridiculous speed. He never had a chance.

No wonder she had looked so happy to be their group leader.

*

wild-filly: ^_^ next chapter up soon and once again my thanks to everyone who reviews or has reviewed!