Wild-filly; coughs Huge apologies for the slump – was engaged in writing own original fiction, drawing character designs for two different mangas, studying for yet more exams and being a lazy git.... Forgive me?

Muses: Mutinous glare

Wild-filly: O.o;; I can take a hint – next chapter right here... please don't kill me

Disclaimer: Don't own, never will, but will always want to sighs

My thanks go to the last reviewers, including deon, JapanAnimeGirl, Kesshin, kimpster and carzyme89 for their comments and encouragement I really appreciate it, people! Choc-chip cookies for all! coughs Ok, I'll stop talking now...

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Okumen Gokurakuchou: Chapter 8

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The residents of the camouflaged village were friendly but not very helpful towards the three Chuunins currently invading their home territory. According to the rules of the Jounin exam, which they had received several months before the commencing of the exam itself, they were allowed to house the examinees, but not actually provide them with aid in completing their tasks. The sodden, weary Chuunins had been offered a bunk each in the village's only, small inn. Not that Kakashi had been given a chance to use it.

Kakashi yawned widely, elbows propped on a table in a small dining hall as he contemplated his empty rice bowl. It was nice to be sitting down on a chair again. So much walking around may be good for the muscles, but not so good for the nerves afterwards. Asuma was lounging next to him, lazily drawing on a cigarette. He rolled one eye at Kakashi. "Have you actually looked at your scroll since you got it?" he drawled.

"Hn?" Kakashi gazed up sleepily from his bowl. His face had drooped unexpectedly into its sticky depths as his contemplating became confused with napping. He brushed absent-mindedly at the grains of rice clinging to his mask. "What scroll?"

Asuma chuckled, extinguishing his cigarette in his own empty bowl, smattering ashes all over the chipped porcelain, regardless of the innkeeper's disapproving stare. "The scroll that we all got given at the beginning of the exams. We aren't in the same group, but we may be able to help each other out a bit".

Kakashi blinked, dislodging a chunk of rice that had taken up residence in his eyeball. "I thought seeking aid with the scrolls was against the rules?"

"Since when has that ever stopped you?" laughed Asuma, unrolling his own scroll, thumbing the thick rice-paper. "The villagers aren't allowed to help us, but I don't see why two fellow Jounin-to-be can't give each other a hand". He winked conspiratorially at Kakashi. "What do you say?"

"I say you stop that train of thought before I crush it".

"What she said", intoned Kakashi drowsily, head sagging back into his bowl as Kurotaka joined their table. She raised one eyebrow at the comatose ninja sitting across from her, mumbling into his rice and glanced at Asuma. "What's with him?"

Asuma smiled indulgently, "I believe he spent most of last night telling stories to the villagers. He got quite an audience from the young ladies here". He grinned at her, watching with amusement as her face hardened and she glared at the sleeping Kakashi.

Inner danger-detector ever on the alert with Kurotaka on the prowl, Kakashi lifted his head miserably to face her. "What did I do now?"

"Nothing", she spat, grabbing a bowl and dipping into the communal rice container in the middle of the table, viciously spooning rice into her own dish before slamming it back before herself. Vaguely satisfied with this answer, Kakashi slumped back into the bowl, eyes desperate for rest.

Now it was Asuma's turn to raise an eyebrow, "nothing, eh? You seem awfully annoyed about Kakashi-kun attracting so much female attention..." He grinned evilly at her. There was a loud crash and Kakashi was jerked from his rice-filled slumber, only to witness Kurotaka catch his eye, blush a violent crimson, grab her bowl and stalk off outside.

"What was that all about?" he murmured, scarcely believing what he had just witnessed. Life was so much more complicated when you were sleep-deprived and wearing rice.

"Never mind", yawned Asuma, leaning back in his chair. "Maybe I'll tell you when you're less tired". He slid one eye over to where Kakashi was sitting and then rolled it as he noted that the notorious assassin was once more asleep in his breakfast.

............

"We have a variety of choices".

Kakashi nodded amiably, leaning against the whitewashed wall of one of the village houses with an element of coolness he had not displayed this morning. Kurotaka appeared to have gotten over her little tantrum, whatever it had been about. She paced before him, black and white ponytail flicking irritably. He mentally cursed his inability to focus on anything after not being able to sleep for extended periods of time. Something very worthy of blackmail had slipped from his grasp again and he was not impressed....

"We could follow Asuma's lead and stay here, waiting for the others to find us".

He shook his head. "We can't know that the others aren't doing exactly the same thing in different villages".

She glared at him. "Wait until I'm finished, moron!"

He nodded agreeably. It was by far the simplest and easiest course of action. She cleared her throat. "As I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted, we could stay here, or we could head out again. Heading for Konoha seems to be the best course of action, as it is the most logical choice of meeting for all of our team. However, we don't know where the others are in relation to us. We could be waiting in Konoha for too long, waiting for them to turn up".

She glanced at him, "you can talk now".

He yawned and stretched, straightening with a pensive look on what was visible of his face. "I would agree that Konoha is the most logical destination. The sooner we head back to the village, the better. It would then also be possible to consult our own resources when it comes to deciphering the scrolls. I could also water Mr Ukki".

She blinked, "Mr Ukki?"

"My pet plant", he explained, bracing for the incredulous verbal assault.

"That's so cute!" He almost fell over in surprise. "Cute?!" he stammered.

"Yes, cute!" she chirped at him, grinning. "I would never have seen you as the kind of person to care about the welfare of a plant. Does it flower?" Her eyes were glowing in some obscure form of delight; possibly due to the fact she had just unearthed some very worthy blackmail material.

He coughed, trying to muster up what was left of his shattered dignity. "I do not believe that this topic bears much relevance to our situation. Shall we now gather up our possessions and leave? I will inform Asuma of our decision". He strode off, head high and stride proud, attempting to reinstate the limited respect she had for him. He could feel the annoyance of his snub radiating off on her, so he risked a turn of his head back to her.

"Mr Ukki doesn't flower. He's a fern. They don't flower as far as I know".

Hastily he turned his head back as she grinned at him again. Watching where he was going before risking a repeat of the experience with the stalactite in the caves took a higher priority than her not attacking him for now. It was doubtful that his head could take much more of this abuse. No wonder the Jounin exam had such a high age restriction – it was unlikely that a younger ninja would survive this many head injuries.

The search for Asuma lead him to a quiet little hut, where he discovered the other Chuunin pouring over his scroll, scribbling translations down on a separate piece of paper. When Kakashi appeared, he hunched jealously over the scrap paper. "Scrounging for answers are we?" he gloated triumphantly.

"Nope, 'fraid not", Kakashi responded nonchalantly, crouching down to sit cross-legged on the stone floor of the little hut. "Just thought I should tell you that we're heading back to Konoha in an hour or so".

Asuma tapped his page with a stick of charcoal, smudging the already scruffy paper as he stared resolutely at the ceiling. "I take it you want me to accompany you?"

He shrugged. "Tis your choice. If you want we can tell your team-mates that you're here".

Asuma nodded blithely, "that would be useful. Want me to do the same for you?"

"Sounds good", agreed Kakashi. "Who're you with anyway?"

"Ebisu, Ibiki and a random named Shouji, who I don't expect you'd recognise".

"Fair enough. I'm with Masurao, Akiraka and Gai". He resisted the urge to choke on the last name. Asuma grinned at him, "still stuck with that guy?" He chuckled enthusiastically at his own weak pun as Kakashi glared at him.

"Fine, fine, lame joke, I know. Yeah, I'll keep an eye open for you. You and Kurotaka have fun". He hastily raised his legs onto his chair as Kakashi aimed a swipe at his knees with a scroll lying abandoned on the floor.

"What'd I say?!"

"Why does everyone have to say something like that to me with every parting comment?!"

"Say what?" asked Asuma, perplexed. Then his eyes widened in realisation, a wicked grin curving on his face. "I hadn't even thought of saying it in that way... Your mind really is on the defensive isn't it? Now that you mention it, I can see why others have been telling you the same thing". He chuckled at Kakashi's ominous expression. "Get going would you? I'm sick of being glared at. You really have been hanging around that maniac chick too long".

..........

"Are we there yet?'

"No"

"Are we there yet?"

"No"

"Are we there yet?'

"No"

"Are we there yet?"

"No"

"Are we there yet?'

"No"

"Are we there yet?"

"No"

"Are we there yet?'

"No"

"Are we there yet?"

"No"

"Are we there yet?'

"No"

"Are we there yet?"

"No"

"Are we there yet?"

"Do you have any idea how petty this mode of annoyance is?" growled Kakashi, eyes closed and eyebrows knitted together in frustration as he and Kurotaka stalked through the deep forest undergrowth of Fire Country. They had been travelling for a day and a half already and the going hadn't improved any. After taking most of the first day at a run, both ninja were moving a less strenuous pace, looking out for signs of inhabitation or danger. Both of which were proving oddly illusive though, resulting in the resident Kunoichi seeking entertainment through a different malicious practise. Namely being as irritating as possible.

Kurotaka groaned, twisting her back to make each vertebra moan and crack in turn, sending shudders down Kakashi's own spine.

"Must you do that?" he muttered, squinting into the maze of trees for the main trading route path that was supposedly nearby by now. "You'll get arthritis".

"Do what?" she queried innocently, drawing a kunai from its leg holster and toying with it, a bored expression writ clearly across her face. "I'd say arthritis would be the least of my troubles".

"Your being annoying is a poor way to pass time over the miles", he responded, disregarding the threat of a death glare at close range.

"I'm not being annoying", she countered, replacing the kunai and jogging to walk alongside him, all the better to affix a poisonous stare to him. "I was just asking you a valid question that was especially relevant to our situation".

"Over a period of time encompassing the better part of two hours". He glared down at her and she countered the venomous stare easily, both ninja intent solely on their aggressive staring contest. So intent were they both, that a pair of trees located directly in their paths escaped their attentions until both were on very close quarters. Face partially wrapped around an unexpected pine tree, Kakashi staggered sideways, miserably stepping around the inoffensive tree and rubbing his face dejectedly. On his left, Kurotaka did the same; a similarly trunk-shaped bruise welling on her own features. They both staggered around the trees to fall back into step alongside one another. The sheer wretchedness of the whole situation caught Kakashi's throat. He began to chuckle. Peals of laughter rang out helplessly from his covered mouth. There was little else one could do in this situation. To his vague surprise, Kurotaka joined in with him, voice lilting over his own with a higher version of his own manically depressed notes. It was one of those perfect moments; both ninja united in complete and utter exasperation with life, the universe and everything.

At last the laughter died in his throat and he allowed on eye to glance over at her, enjoying the sight of her face being lightened, despite the great red mark on her cheek where tree had met Kunoichi in an abrupt greeting. She gradually lowered her own laugh and slid her own dark eye to glance at him, silent. Upon seeing his own gaze on her, her eye shot back in embarrassment, but then returned to catch his glance. Was she blushing? Or was it just the bruise? He couldn't tell... maybe he was just concussed again. Then something resurfaced in his memory.

"About that last fight we had..."

"The one at breakfast?" she stared at him in confusion.

"No, not between us; the one with the attempted assassins".

"Ah". She seemed to stiffen, her gaze shifting to travel resolutely on the leaf litter of the forest floor. "What about it?"

He hesitated. "I was wondering... how did you manage to do that with your eyes?"

"Do what with my eyes?" Her voice was blunt, eyes never leaving the ground as they trekked on. "I can't do anything with my eyes".

"I would have thought the same thing", he responded, also staring straight ahead as they trudged on. "However it is very unusual for someone who can't do anything with their eyes to have them change colour like that".

She whirled to glare at him, black tresses a flurry over her shoulder, "that's a lie! I can't use any form of eye ability! Your own eyes deceived you, not mine". She gritted her teeth and returned her stare to the ground, pace quickening.

"As you wish", he replied softly, eyes following her path and mind unsure of how to feel. Sympathy? Distrust? Neither... if she didn't want to talk about it, then he could wait until she was. Trust didn't seem to register too highly in her abilities, and he wasn't really one of the better examples of a worthy vessel of her secrets. With a sigh he trudged along a little faster, breaking into a jog just as Guntou soared overhead, squawking urgently.

Kurotaka turned back to him, face still red where the tree had met it. "He's found a border patrol! Quickly!" She took off through the trees, weaving between the towering trunks and leaping over low-hanging branches, the glinting tips of her hair catching the amber afternoon light. He rolled his eyes and sped up, dodging the forest traffic hazards in an effort to keep up with her and keep the squawking seagull in sight.

Leaping ninja-style through the trees, they finally found the small patrol, stationed by a great wall that snaked its way through the trees and cut short a variety of thin paths, worn down by travellers to the inner areas of the Fire Country. Kurotaka crouched next to him, kneeling close to the surface of the thick branch. He could hear her efforts to stifle her gasps for breath. The seagull had been a bit vague on the details of just how far away this patrol was. The ANBU had been perfect for this sort of training. At least during this exam it was still light – the ANBU leaders had always preferred to send their troops out at night, despite the serious risk associated with running into trees in pitch black surroundings. It had done something for his ability to detect danger at long ranges at least... honing it to something of a fine art, that is.

"Do you think they'll let us pass?" she whispered, blue eyes fixed on the group of guards relaxing by the entrance cut through the great wall. Kakashi counted them. Five younger guards, one senior. They appeared to be engaged in some kind of dice game. Ah, how nice it was to see the farthest reaches of the law working hard to protect the citizens.

"I'm not sure. We haven't our ninja licenses. Perhaps my tattoo would be sufficient clearance".

She glanced at him, frowning. "What do you mean "tattoo"? Have you got a passport on your back or something? I doubt any tattoo would get us past here". Her voice was mocking, but curious.

He eye-smiled at her. "This one might. And since you don't have one, I suggest you keep quiet and go along with any story I conjure up to get us through".

She snorted, flipping her white-tipped bangs from her face contemptuously. "We could just scale the wall further on, you know".

He shook his head, eye-smile never faltering. "When was the last time you left Fire Country?"

She faltered, eyes troubled, "I've never left Fire Country".

"You obviously don't know the deal with the wall then".

"And what deal would that be?" her voice was haughty, eyes boring burning holes into his skull but he ignored her. It was so nice to feel superior for a change. Not that she seemed to acknowledge his better wisdom though. At least one of them could... if that was worth anything.

"The wall is charged with Chakra", he explained quietly, intent on the guards' actions. "If we don't pass through the wall by legal means, then we will be attacked by its Chakra defences. The bolt of energy won't kill you, but you won't be able to uncross your eyes for a while". He nodded to her. "Come on. Let's go talk to the "dedicated" law-upholders down there. And remember to keep your mouth shut". She had opened her mouth to say something, eyes fixed on the group of guards, but she silenced herself, glaring irritably at him. He dropped down silently from the tree, landing gracefully on one knee and straightening, stepping out subtly to meet the watchers who still hadn't noticed him.

"Ohayo!" he called cheerfully, one hand raised in greeting. There was a frantic scramble as the dice were shoved into someone's pocket and coinage reclaimed. One of the guards rushed over to him, a short spear lowered. "Halt!"

"Halting", he responded genially, raising his hands in submission. "I'm not here to wage an attack against the illustrious border. I am a member of the ANBU, currently training in the Jounin exam. Would you be so kind as to let me pass?"

The young guard narrowed his eyes. "ANBU? Where's your tattoo?"

Kakashi obligingly rolled up his sleeve, exposing the dark scar that traced his upper arm. The guard peered at it suspiciously. "Far too easy to fake!" he announced scornfully, "have you any border papers?"

Kakashi shook his head, frowning. "ANBU members do not require identity records in order to cross the border. We need only show our tattoo".

The guard sniffed arrogantly, "a likely story!"

"How about my forehead protector then?" suggested Kakashi, biting back a twinge of annoyance in his voice. His tolerance for nuisances had already been stretched pretty far today; he didn't need this pompous little idiot barring his path any longer. Sneering, the guard replied, "and what would I care about a headband? Get going, before we see you off". He spun on his heel and strode away contemptuously.

Kakashi tutted out loud. "Not very bright at all..."

"What did you say?!" The arrogant novice whirled to face him, face beet red with fury, spear grasped white-knuckled in his hand. "How dare you insult an officer of the Fire Country border?"

He sighed. "You're asking yourself to get killed. Here's a tip – never EVER turn your back on a man you've just insulted and denied a reasonable request of. For one thing, if that doesn't gain you a knife between the shoulder-blades, then I'm not sure what will. For another..." A kunai came whizzing from the trees, smacking the spear from the guard's trembling grasp and sending it spinning across the dirt path. Kakashi moved in a blur, deftly retrieving the spear and kunai in one fluid motion, before returning to his original position. To an untrained eye, such as that of the guard's, it was as if he had simply vanished and then reappeared, the weapon materialising in his hands.

"... It is unwise to threaten a self-proclaimed ANBU with a rusty spear. Especially if there is another ninja in the shadows".

A ringing applause sounded form the guard tent as the senior officer stepped forward, grinning at Kakashi and the stammering guard. Kakashi allowed one eye to travel to the new appearance, his ears reporting the faint sound of Kurotaka descending from the tree and stalking quietly over to join him.

"Nicely done, ANBU", the old man crowed, clapping his amateur counterpart on the shoulder with a roaring laugh. "It's nice to see some of our more resistant pupils finally getting the talking-to they need". He grinned wickedly at Kakashi, blue eyes dancing under his bangs of greying hairs. "Of course I recognise your tattoo and headband. I've got a sister in Konoha myself". The older man turned, hearing the soft rustle of Kurotaka's shoes on the undergrowth. His face paled and then lightened in joy. "Kuro-chan?" he called in disbelief.

She grinned at him, jogging towards them, blue and white knee-length kimono flapping, "Uncle!" Kakashi stared in surprise at this unexpected family reunion.

The grizzled old guard hugged the Kunoichi hard before releasing her, sky-blue eyes dancing with joy. "How've you been, kid? How's your mother?"

"Not bad on both counts", she grinned. "What about you? I haven't seen you since I was twelve".

"Same as always, same as always", he nodded. "Spend most of my life training these morons". He roughly clapped the open-mouthed officer beside him on the shoulder and barked, "well, there's no time to waste now! The Jounin exam you said?" He squinted at Kakashi who nodded dumbly. Kurotaka grinned at her uncle, "we've only three weeks or so left to complete the exam, so we'd better hurry. I promise I'll send Guntou with a letter or something afterwards and tell you how it went".

"You've still got that daft bird?" the guard shook his head, shuffling over to the heavy iron-wrought gate and fumbling with the locks, "well I don't know... good luck to you kid, and you too, ninja-boy". He gave Kakashi an appraising look and seemed to nod to himself. Kakashi had a sinking feeling that he had been given some sort of approval. Approval he wasn't so sure he wanted. Kurotaka smiled at him and seized him by the wrist, towing him through the gate and jogging away, waving over her shoulder to her uncle before the wall vanished from view by the enveloping forest. She sighed and returned her attention to their path, as the trade road wound its way through the woods.

Kakashi shook his head. "Honestly, Kurotaka. I think I've figured out one question about you and then you go and throw me ten more to answer".

"What do you mean by that?" she responded, voice oddly subdued, "did you think I was entirely without friends or family?"

"No", he replied, rolling his sleeve down again. "I just didn't think it was physically possible for you to look happy to actually see another human being". A smack caught him on the shoulder, shoving him into a nearby bush as Kurotaka continued on, pace never altering. As he thrashed his way out of the shrubbery and caught up to her again, she resumed their conversation. "I only really know my mother's side of the family. One uncle, a couple of cousins and my grandfather. Everyone else is either dead or doesn't want to know me".

Kakashi held his breath, "why would that be?" He asked delicately, probing over a matter that could explode at any moment.

To his combined surprise and relief, she didn't shove him into another hedge. Her head lowered, hair twitching less as her eyes clouded over. "My father's side would prefer it if I didn't exist. I'm an embarrassment to them, as it my mother".

"I think I understand", answered Kakashi softly.

She shook her head, eyes watery. "No, I don't think you understand entirely". She jerked her head away from him determinedly. 'It'll be dark soon. Let's make some distance and then stop for the night". She plunged on ahead of him, arms rigid out behind her as she ran ninja-style down the road, shadow flitting over puddles of amber sunlight still filtering through the trees. Kakashi sprinted to catch up with her, noting the tears that stained the dusty ground in her wake as he caught up to her. She sprinted recklessly ahead of him, narrowly avoiding branches and puddles. There wasn't a chance that she was thinking clearly. At this rate she was going to trip and injure herself in her haste to get away from his questions.

"Kurotaka, wait" The command burst forth before he even gave it any real thought. To his amazement, she actually listened, jogging, walking and then stopping. Her hair hid her pale face, bangs sheltering her eyes. He walked carefully over to her, resting his hands on her shoulders to crane his head in order to look her in the eyes. She was biting her lip, determined not to cry in front of him. She glared defensively, eyes crystalline from the tears that fell as she ran, scarlet tree-bruise not helping her splotchy complexion.

"You can't just run from these kinds of problems" he softly reminded her. "You've been running from them so long it has affected who you are". He remembered what she said about the wacko that had tried to drown her. "Talk. We can make up ground later. This issue is more important".

"I don't want to talk", she answered bitterly, throat taut from crying. "I'm not miserable for my life. I'm angry for my mother and what my life did to her's; what my father's did to her's".

"What do you mean?" he asked, eyes searching hers, searching for an answer. She held his gaze a long time, saying nothing, then closed her eyes and folded into him. He braced against her, arms encircling her shoulders as she leant against his chest, sobbing quietly. He didn't know what to do. Wrapping his arms around her back and stroking her absent-mindedly he glanced around anxiously, cursing his relative inexperience in these matters. One wrong move could turn her into a homicidal maniac again; an especially dangerous one at this range. As the minutes dragged on, he began to wonder if it would be easier just to offend her and give her an excuse to stop feeling upset and start attacking him again. Her tears had stopped, soaking into his thick green Chuunin vest and tickling his chest muscles. The warmth of her small frame was comforting. An unusual sensation, but comforting none the less. She seemed to be drawing strength from him, for she broke his grasp, pushing herself away from him, eyelashes damp from crying, but seeming more refreshed. She stared at him before looking away, embarrassed.

"I'm sorry I did that, Hatake. I've never done that to anyone before. Please excuse my behaviour". She turned away, striding swiftly off the path and into a clearing, scanning the area for a water source. He followed her silently. "Perhaps you should have done it before", he called to her, leaning down to gather some stray branches to make a campfire. She didn't stop her searching, but he could have sworn she looked at him for just one second with a crimson Sharingan eye.

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wild-filly: I should hopefully update quicker after this one... please review! Every review helps prod me into writing more