Wild-filly: Amazing! Another update in such short succession... I will go towards my promise to update more frequently with somewhat better effort than that in previous chapters ;; In my efforts to update faster though, I will have to make the chapters shorter I'm afraid. What would people prefer? Long pause – long chapter or short pause – short chapter? You tell me. I will warn you however that I have my big-end-of-year-exams coming up in four weeks so I will be completely insane in the meantime, resulting in less writing and more rabid tantrums.

Kaioshin: coughs and pointedly stares at the blank page

Wild-filly: ahemOh yeah, the chapter ;; Cookies for JapanAnimeGirl and Magicians of the Yami for being so quick to review And I would like to especially appeal to the people who follow this fic but don't review to make themselves known... please? Pretty please? I'll shut up now...

............

Okumen Gokurakuchou: Chapter 9

.............

The moon rode high over the trees, bright and full in the otherwise grim night, throwing elongated shadows across the clearing where the two would-be Jounin were camped. Seated and leaning against the trunk of a spindly pine tree, Hatake Kakashi calmly slid a rag down the blade of his glinting katana, one of the most noticeable weapons of the ANBU. A flashy weapon, yes, but no less deadly than one more subtle. A piece of silk dropped onto the blade would be cut in half the instant it made contact. Well, in theory it would. He didn't really have any silk around to try this theory out on and either way, the katana was starting to look a little sorry for itself after all its nights out in the open. To be perfectly honest, the grimy rag wasn't doing much by way of good for it any way. He needed to get some proper polish and soft cloths, lest it become more effective as a hammer rather than a blade.

Kakashi sighed, re-sheathing the sword and resting both katana and sheath on his lap, casting a sleepy, bored eye over the campsite. A quiet movement from Kurotaka caught his attention as she rolled over in her sleeping bag, inky-black hair shaken out of the tightly woven fabric of the blanket and spilling onto the grass. He watched her silently, her skin starkly pale in the darkness. She was going to have a fit in the morning if she got grass in her hair. Doubtless she would find him to blame for it somehow. It did look very pretty though, trailing over the newly sprouted plants like a soft, silken carpet. A strange urge to reach out and caress the raven locks welled up inside of him...

He shook himself mentally. What the hell was he thinking? The lack of sleep must be getting to him... There was no real obligation for him to be on watch duty. They were still far enough away from the heart of Fire Country to avoid the attentions of bandits and thieves. The threat of assassination was fairly slim. It was unlikely that the Hidden Leaf would send out Shinobi to murder some of its students. In fact, they were remarkably safer than they had been for about a week, considering the fact that the Hidden villages of other countries would want to eliminate foreign Jounin examinees before they could become a more serious threat. Not that they would stop at eliminating examinees.... No; in the ANBU he had learned that it was not above Hidden village ninja to assassinate any form of threat to their power; be it a missing-nin, assassin, newly-graduated Genin or a mere child, unintentionally born with a bloodline ability. Konoha behaved in the same fashion; not that any of the villages would ever admit to these actions in public face. As far as the countries were concerned, no underhanded defence tactics were undertaken by any of the Hidden villages.

He shook his head in cynical humour. What a corrupt little world we live in.

The morning sun came in rich waves of butter yellow, disturbing both Shinobi from slumber. Kakashi realised too late that he had fallen asleep while seated on a tree root and leaning backwards against the tree trunk, resulting in the exceptional stiffness of his back and unspeakable bruising on his... Well, either way the situation didn't bear much thought. Pushing his aches aside, he probed the campfire to life as Kurotaka came staggering back from the bushes, eyes half-closed and ponytail swishing, sporting an artful collection of grass hair ornaments that she had unintentionally taken to wearing.

"Good morning" she grunted, dumping herself down by the fire. "There's a little stream further off that way". She jerked her thumb back the way she had just been. "Nothing worth eating though. We'd better find a town further on to scrounge up something to eat".

His heart sank, closely followed by his stomach. Survival training sucked, it really did.

Half an hour later, both Chuunins were making their swaying way down the road, jogging at a rhythmic, slow pace. It wasn't as fast as running ninja-style, but when you're tired, stiff and haven't eaten anything for about twenty-four hours, it was a perfectly respectable pace. Pickings had been slim as far as any kind of edible resources had gone. The last proper food either of them had had was the rice at breakfast. Not that Kakashi had used it for much other than as a pillow.

"In hindsight, we should have asked for more supplies before we left Asuma and the village", he commented conversationally as they shuffled down the winding, trailing road.

"Too bad you didn't think of that when it could actually have helped us", she responded testily. The lack of food was getting to her as well. She jogged on again, hair twitching irritably. It was as if that ponytail had a personality of its own. One as abrasive as its owner's. The memory of those tresses seeming so soft and inviting to touch on the short turf of the clearing rose in his mind and he hastily shoved aside his sarcastic inner comment. He put one hand to his temple, closing his eyes in confusion. What on earth was he thinking? That was twice in one morning...

"Are you coming or becoming part of the geography?" yowled Kurotaka over her shoulder, glaring back at him standing motionless a hundred metres down the path from her. Numbly, he jerked himself back into life, sprinting painfully to catch up to her. How very strange... This new train of thought unnerved him somewhat.

She halted, glaring at him with one hand on her hip as she waited for him to catch up. "Did you hit your head again or something?" she demanded, staring at him in annoyance.

"I'm sorry, what was that?" he queried, blinking in confusion as he remerged from his thoughts. She threw her hands up in exasperation. "Do you want me to give you a new head injury in order to wake you up?" Ah. Back to good old threats of bodily harm, now we were in familiar territory again.

"A kind offer, but I'm afraid I'll have to decline". He eye-smiled at her aggravatingly. "Come now. Don't be standing there staring at me all day". He took off lightly down the road, loping easily ahead of her even as fatigue was overridden by her overwhelming urge to decapitate him. As he ran he noted that the trees were thinning out, tree stumps littering the ground. It seemed that they were finally getting out of this wretched forest. Finally humanity had stepped in to destroy yet another ecosystem. It was about time. Enraged sprinting died down back to the mechanical jog, as both ninja kept pace side by side. There was something comforting about the exercise. Perhaps it was the fact that they both shared the same emotions, the same goal in the end. Now if only it were a more positive situation, then it could actually have been quite enjoyable, even amiable.

The miles trailed by until finally scattered spires of smoke rising into the early afternoon sky caught the eyes of both Chuunin, still running monotonously down the road. Muscles groaned as they embraced the endurance that they had been enjoying a break from. Kakashi had been enjoying a temporary holiday from ANBU duties for the last few weeks on the lead up to the Jounin exam. He had specially requested the time off in order to "study", much to the disdain of the ANBU leaders. However, since he hadn't used any of his other request-holidays that year, they grudging allowed him three weeks to train and ready himself for the challenge that would be the exam. The fact that as soon as he got the permission to go he left with Masurao to go on an... ahem, expedition to one of the brighter towns of Fire Country and enjoy some of the delights normally barred to young ninja had not entered into the decisions of the ANBU at all. He was pretty sure that his skiving off from training hadn't been detected... fairly sure... kind of... maybe. Either way, his little "holiday" was proving not to have been the training his muscles needed, since they were now complaining bitterly about a marathon he ordinarily could have done in his sleep. He pondered over the reasoning behind Kurotaka's sluggishness. Maybe she just wasn't used to this kind of training. It was all very well to go out for long runs and do survival training, but it was quite another thing to actually apply them in real life instead of the Academy.

"I... hope... they're feeling... charitable", panted Kurotaka, brusquely brushing away a trickle of sweat beading on her eyebrow to spill over onto her eyelids. "Especially since we haven't any money left".

Kakashi grunted. Answering was so much of an effort. He couldn't even mutter his smart-aleck comment already perfectly lined up for her remark. There was truth in her words though. They were a pair of scruffy, exhausted, starving and quite penniless ninja. Hardly the kind of people accepted with open arms in a nice, well to-do modern town such as those that clustered the inner regions of the Fire country. Not that he had visited many... his expedition had leant towards the.. less reputable ones around.

They finally reached the massive gates that isolated the town from the rest of the world, its formidable wall creating a barrier to all that was foreign and uncouth. Like them. Kakashi staggered up to the gates and waited expectantly. The doors remained steadfastly locked. It was a subtle greeting of sorts. He sighed. "I don't think they want us here, Kurotaka".

She glared wearily at him. "Don't you think I could tell that? They haven't picked a good day to try me like this". There was a dangerous flash in her eyes, beneath the rings of poor sleep and fatigue from travelling. He felt a shudder navigate its way cautiously down his spine. There was something aggressive in those eyes; aggressive even for this homicidal Kunoichi. He had heard rumours of this fabled aggression that came about only for a limited time each month, but had to admit, he had never given the rumours the credit they deserved.

"OI! YOU! ASSHOLE KEEPING THE GATES SHUT!!"

Kakashi winced. This was going to go down well.

A head appeared over the top of the wall. It would appear that this town had a more medieval fashion when it came to managing gates and guarding walls. The gatekeeper was in fact stationed on the wall, effectively distancing him from attack from undesirables determined to get inside by any means necessary. Kakashi studied the gate critically. There must be some sort of release mechanism that leads all the way up to the guard's post. How to release it from the ground, however, was a different question. In the meantime, the guard's head had appeared and it did not look pleased to see them, nor particularly flattered by Kurotaka's greeting.

"Would you be referring to me, madam?" The scarlet-faced guard choked out the words, obviously trying to stick to some form of business etiquette, but at the same time failing miserably. Kakashi chuckled inwardly. It was nice to witness someone catching the brunt of Kurotaka's wrath, without actually being that someone.

"YES, YOU, YOU MORONIC GARGOYLE, PERCHED UP ON THE WALL THERE. OPEN THIS BLOODY GATE OR I'LL COME UP AND MAKE YOU A REAL WALL FIXTURE!!" She was positively frothing at the mouth, gesturing aggressively with one hand as her ponytail thrashed the air angrily. He was quite impressed. Even the guard stationed eleven metres or so above them looked a little taken aback. Seeming to get a grip on his wits again and the precise situation, he sneered down at the smouldering Kurotaka and braced Kakashi.

"And do you really think that you can scare me, wench? Perhaps some small detail of my being up here and your's being down there has escaped you". He smirked luxuriously. "There isn't a chance that either of you troublemakers is getting into this town, so I suggest you both crawl away back under the fertiliser mound you came from". His insults were not as effective as Kuro's, but as aggravating to her as if he had cursed her until sunset. Kakashi's ears caught the unpleasant sound of her teeth grinding together, eyes hardening to something that could shatter diamond. If looks could kill, then she would have been arrested for genocide, provided the law enforcement could get close enough without becoming her next victims.

Turning away from them dismissively, the guard sloped off back to his chair, perched far enough from the edge to be out of range of any thrown weapons, but close enough that he could gloat at their predicament. Ah, this was the life. Never mind the police force, law or journalism; if you wanted to annoy or discriminate against people, then this was the job for you. He had just sank back into his comfortable deckchair and was fumbling for his drink, when he realised that one of the people at the wall had vanished. How very odd. Maybe one of them had taken the hint and taken off back down the road. His fingers probed the table beside his chair for that glass of lemon-tainted water. It seemed to have moved. Finally his fingers struck the cool, curved surface of his drink. Except it didn't seem to be balanced on the table anymore.

"Here's your drink". Venom dripped in the air.

As the gate smoothly slide open, Kakashi sauntered through the wide gap into the clean streets beyond, colourful banners hanging stretched across from one rooftop to another. He glanced up at the wall. "Are you done yet, Kurotaka?"

She vaulted over the wall, springing off the roof of a nearby house and the smooth surface of the encasing wall itself, bouncing nimbly to the ground. She grinned at him, a wicked smile ruining her otherwise innocent expression. "For some strange reason he decided very quickly to open the gates". Her voice was high pitched, so innocent it was sickening. Kakashi rolled his eyes. "And what "uncouth" tactics did you need to result to in order to get him to reach that decision?"

She raised her eyebrows at him in mock horror. "I?! Use uncouth, underhanded tactics to get my way?" She shook her head sorrowfully at him. "Perish the thought Kakashi-kun, don't you trust me?"

"About as much as I would trust the Kyuubi" he retorted, ignoring her gesture of mock surprise at his suspicious answer. 'Come on, Kurotaka. If you hurt him we need to report it and provide medical aid. We can't have Konoha gaining a reputation of being a den of mindless thugs".

She sighed, striding off down the street. "Don't worry yourself so much Kakashi. I offered him a very modest proposal and he accepted it. Both of us benefited, so you need not worry that I cheated an honest man".

He cursed inwardly to himself, walking after her. "And just what proposal would that have been?" He didn't really even need to ask. The male ninja were all aware that the Kunoichi received a very specialised form of taijutsu, as well as the standard forms trained to all students. It was a branch of martial arts designed by Kunoichi, for use by Kunoichi, in situations that male ninja usually didn't come across.

"He would be allowed to go on a man if I would be allowed to go on to the town. A fair transaction wouldn't you say?"

Kakashi dismissed the notion of answering that question. The results would be too dangerous to contemplate if he answered incorrectly.

.........

"What do you mean you won't admit ninja?!" demanded Kakashi at the counter of one of the town's inns. It was the third time they'd been refused and he had forced Kurotaka to sit outside and wait for him to come and invite her into the inn, rather than have her mar what scant feelings of goodwill were offered to the two Shinobi. She seemed to be running on automatic-insult at the moment and had gotten them thrown out of the last placements they had tried so far, so rather than face the risk of spending another night hungry in the open, he had decided to handle matters himself.

"We don't admit ninja", stated the staff member stubbornly. "There is no other way to put it".

"But why do you discriminate so openly against us?" Kakashi tried to reason with the older man. It was hard to try to tell someone that you were a reliable person when you were coated in dirt, twigs, grass and more than a little fragrant.

"Whenever we've had ninja in our inn, there have been incidents where furniture has been broken, maids injured and then the bills not paid afterwards". The man stared at Kakashi with narrowed eyes. It was as if he had x-ray vision that revealed the empty state of Kakashi's pockets.

He sighed. "Listen to me, please. My companion and I are exhausted and hungry. We solemnly promise not to harm either you, your staff or your property. I do not know what ninjas you have come across in the past, but I can assure you that you have been faced with the very worst examples of our behaviour and I am disgusted that it has actually taken place..." He was cut off by the man waving his hand in annoyance.

"We don't take ninja! How many times do I have to explain this to you? Try somewhere else and don't come back!"

Sorely tempted to practise his assassination skills on this impudent example of humanity in front of him, Kakashi gritted his teeth and strode out of the elegant building. Kurotaka was sitting by a fountain in the middle of the street, taking the opportunity to bathe her face and hands. She shook the water from her hair and rolled one eye at him. "Let me guess... knocked back?"

"Insultingly". He sighed and sat down on the fountain rim next to her. To his weary surprise she shuffled over closer to him and leant against his shoulder. He glanced down cautiously at her, uncertain of her motives. She didn't look up at him, but just rested there in a remarkable display of calmness. He hesitantly allowed himself to relax. There was no telling what she would do if there was a sudden mood swing, but for now, he found himself enjoying the feeling of her weight against his side. How very strange the last few days had been. It couldn't just be the lack of food, sleep and constant running. Something else was at work here. He didn't know what it was, but he didn't think he didn't like it. She yawned and snuggled closer. "I'm sick of running around. You make a great pillow, did you know that?".

He shuffled uncomfortably. Now this was truly unnerving him. He had to bring her back to her normal. Back to her normal, violent, offensive self. He stopped himself. Thinking about it; did he really want to return to that? She was an interesting person, but it would be even more interesting if they could have a conversation that didn't end in him being pushed into a hedge, hit on the head, insulted or running away lest he be assaulted by all of the above at once. Slowly, cautiously, he moved the arm she was leaning on until it wrapped around her shoulders. He felt her stiffen, surprised by his bolder action, but she didn't pull back, moving closer to the warmth and security he could offer.

How very, very odd this life had become.

...........

"This is not very moralistic".

"Really? You amaze me with your perceptiveness" Kakashi rolled his eyes at Kurotaka, who was standing, hand on hip behind him, glaring. They were currently stationed at the beginning of an open street-market, stalls crammed down the sides of the street bursting with colour and exotic aromas. Beaded jewellery, expensive fabrics and gaudy tapestries caught the eye from all angles, but what caught the eye of the ANBU member were the varieties of food on offer further down the aisle. Kurotaka stood a couple of metres behind him, mouth set in distaste.

"I'm disappointed in you, Kakashi. I wouldn't have thought that a member of the ANBU would be reduced to stealing from cheap stalls".

He rolled his eyes upwards. "Kurotaka-san, if you would rather go without food for spend the night rummaging through today's rubbish for sustenance, then you may, by all means, go ahead. However, if we expect to regain our strength and complete our mission, then we need to eat something more nourishing than garbage. Besides", he ran a careful eye down the stalls. "There is plenty of food there for everyone. It's not as if our eating leaves another to go hungry, and these merchants all look well off to me. It's not as if they'll go bankrupt".

"Fine, fine", she sighed in dismal tones, stepping down the street with him. "I just wish that there was a better way to do this".

"Begging won't help. It would just encourage people to watch us with disdain. We may not be able to get a roof over our heads, but we may as well get something to eat from them. Perhaps after a couple of losses on their part, they'll decide to be nicer to Shinobi".

She snorted, "I love your logic, Kakashi. Completely screwed".

"Why thank you", he eye-smiled at her. "At least it gets defined as "logic". It's a step up from "complete bullshit", which is what Masurao dubbed it last time I tried to justify an exploit". She shook her head in mock despair, "let's just get this over with".

For two talented Chuunin, such a simple task of making a collection of foodstuffs vanish with little or no notice taken by the owner of the goods was one that should, in theory, not take very long at all. However, despite Kakashi's decision not to beg for charity, they were treated with the same level of disdain usually afforded to beggars, as well as suspicion.

"You know what, if I see another person go cross-eyed trying to look down their nose at me, I may just rearrange their face for them", commented Kurotaka by means of light conversation as they met up again in a quiet alley to compare their spoils.

"That's very considerate of you", remarked Kakashi dryly, removing a small sack of rice from his Chuunin vest, "you should consider going into the medical cosmetics field, if you're feeling so generous. People usually pay a fortune to have their face disfigured".

"It's a good idea", she commented, divesting an assortment of vegetables from their hiding places within her kimono. Kakashi artfully averted his eyes, trying not to think how she'd gotten away with having food stashed between the folds of her clothing so easily. It occurred to him that a female would not have the same difficulties as a male would in explaining obtrusive bulges in their shirt. He hurried quashed this thought and returned his attentions to their combined supplies.

A small sack of rice, several vegetables, a packet of dried meat of indeterminate age and origin, some hard, flat bread and a sack of tree nuts. Not bad, considering their only problem was now how they were going to cook the rice without any utensils. Townspeople also tended to react in a most distressing manner when you started lighting fires around the place as well. How very superficial society was these days. Honestly, had they all forgotten that open-air fires were more traditional than stoves? Not everyone was an arsonist...

"What now? Do we go and steal some crockery?" asked Kurotaka, stretching and eying the food hungrily. "I think I could eat that rice raw now, rather than waste more time".

Kakashi's stomach growled, echoing his miserable thoughts. "We'll just have to improvise".

As it turned out, a pilfered iron bucket was the closest thing they were going to get to improvisation. After finding a nice spot on the outskirts of town, both Chuunin were stuffing their faces with little or no concern of what the townspeople would think of the campfire they had lit, nor the mess they were making in their haste to quell their desperate stomachs. Kakashi finished first, hastily replacing his mask. It would appear that he had been lucky this time, as Kurotaka was still devouring her own portion of rice, mixed with half of everything else they had come across. Saving food for later hadn't occurred to either of them. More could... "exchange ownership" later, when the time called for it. For now, it was just nice to get rid of one of the aches that had become a constant in their lives. Kakashi lay back, ignoring the bite of the rubble beneath him. Fatigue dominated his senses. After finally eating, he just wanted to drift away and let the world do what it wanted...

There was a rap on his forehead as Kurotaka finished eating and tapped him with her knuckles. "Don't fall asleep here. Gravel isn't the most therapeutic of blankets. You'll end up feeling even worse.".

"I fail to see how that's possible", retorted Kakashi, but he staggered to his feet all the same. "Do you suppose we could find a convenient doorway to sleep in tonight?" His voice was sarcastic, but his heart wasn't in it. He just wanted to curl up and rest somewhere and forget this whole stupid exam until he had enough energy to breathe without effort. Kurotaka was regarding him carefully.

"What's wrong?" he asked her wearily. "Do I have rice on my mask again?"

"No. You just don't look so well. Do you feel alright?" Her face was troubled, eyes searching his anxiously.

"I'm fine... just... tired". But something wasn't right. His eyes dragged downwards, even as the darkness began to swirl, beckoning him away from the light and into its soft, numbing depths. As he fell into nothingness, he heard a distant scream and the vague sensation of falling, even as someone leapt to catch him.

..........

Wild-filly: a cliffhanger... or something like it...how very remarkable – update coming just as soon as I can Review please!!!!!!