Wild-filly: Thanks go to Tora Macaw (great to see you at Wai-Con!), Katzuki, Anime Lance, Grummur. princessares and noneyabusiness – you people rock, I can't thank you enough for your support
Disclaimer: Don't own don't sue
………….
Okumen Gokurakuchou: Chapter 14
………….
"I think we're lost".
"Who the hell put you in charge of directions?"
"Hey, no one else was steering, so I took over".
"We'd have been better off walking round in circles! I haven't a clue where we are now…"
"Would you quit glaring at me already?! It's creeping me out… Kakashi! A little help please?"
"Ne? There's no way you're dragging me down as well".
"Oh thank you very much. Some friend you are".
"Quite".
Masurao glanced up from the map scroll, which as now revealed to have been upside down and possibly inside out throughout the entire period of its usage. Kurotaka was toying with a stray kunai, cleaning under her fingernails with the razor-sharp blade and staring pointedly at the nervous Chuunin, leaving no doubt as to her underlying suggestion. Kakashi was ambling at the back of the little group, looking exceptionally bored and embarrassed to be included in their company. He rolled his eyes with the skill of one who generally lives by the saying "if you want something done right, do it yourself or don't ask your geography-illiterate acquaintances".
He sighed, "we are approximately 15 kilometres east of Wind country, bordering on Earth country. We haven't been going in circles, but actually a straight line following a trader's road which passes through all of outer villages of both Earth and Wind, which coincidently takes longer". Instantly he regretted his choice of words, as both Kurotaka and Masurao rounded on him.
"You've been letting us wander around lost this whole time?"
"Uh… hai?"
This didn't seem to be the right answer.
"WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM?"
He backed away from the onslaught of Kurotaka's screech, eyes boring murderously through his own, pure rage radiating from every pore yet again. Waves of Chakra washed over him, even as scarlet flickered into her pupil; almost losing control of her Uchiha blood in her fury. As he calmly met the ire of her stare, the only thing running through his mind had the misfortune to also escape his mouth.
"Are you aware that a vein twitches on your forehead when you're angry?"
He was finally awakened by the strange sensation of bracken around the upper area of his ankles and a continued pulling motion on each of his shoulders. As he muzzily opened his eyes, Kakashi was met with the discovery the he was in fact being dragged by his arms, feet trailing the increasingly-sandy ground and successfully filling his shoes with a collection of spiky plant and dirt life. He wearily turned his head over one shoulder, catching sight of Masurao hanging onto his left arm. His "friend" grinned cheerfully at him.
"Awake again are we? You aren't exactly light, you know. But that was a perfect attack by Kuro, if I may say so". Kakashi noticed Masurao's eyes slide nervously to the right, as though anxious to either win favour or at least stay on the correct side of it. Groaning slightly, he turned to affix a pathetic stare in Kurotaka's general direction. "Was that entirely necessary?"
She grinned innocently at him. "Come now… surely there wasn't any lasting damage".
"You assume too much".
He roughly shook himself free from their grasp and proceeded to shuffle at the back of the group again, distinctively pouting despite the presence of his mask, which even now had contrived to stay perfectly positioned. Masurao sighed and shrugged his shoulders dramatically, stalking on ahead with the map brandished in front of him. "Quit sulking already, Kakashi. We've finally found the right trail, no thanks to you. If we pick up the pace we should get back on track in no time". He shot a scathing glare his companion's way, making a spirited attempt to pin the blame for their directional difficulties on someone other than him.
Kakashi glared back mulishly, declining to answer this annoyance of an acquaintance. Everything seemed to be annoying him now; life itself had become too troublesome to even contemplate. Had he not an exceptional level of self-control, he would have stormed off through the scrubby trees in order to find a nice convenient spot to throw a tantrum. Maybe the brain damage was finally catching up.
Kurotaka slacked off the pace, dropping to fall in pace with Kakashi, her face writ with a vague concern. "I didn't really hurt you there, did I?"
"You knocked me unconscious for no good reason… what the hell do you think?!"
"I'm sorry about that, no don't snort at me, it's true. My nerves are just a little strained, that's all". She sought to catch his eye, which he kept pinned steadfastly on the ground, burning a laser-trail in Masurao's sandy footprints. At least they were heading for the Wind Country border alright. She sighed and let her own gaze follow the ground. "I'm sorry I've been so violent during this exam towards you… what can I do to apologise?"
Damn that mind of his. He hastily coughed and replied, "nothing really I suppose. Just try not to knock me out in future, ok?" He presented an expression of noble indigence, as far as one could with half of their face covered with mask and an additional third sporting an assortment of war-wounds, including bruises and twig gouges. This time she was successful in seizing his eye contact, purposefully pinning his gaze onto her own. Navy blue pupils; he recognised the Uchiha darkness attacking what must have been a pale blue from her mother's side. She smiled shyly, sliding one eye back to where Masurao was striding clumsily down the boggy sand trail, tripping and stumbling as he came across uneven patches, which appeared with embarrassing frequency.
Looking up to see where Masurao had stumbled over yet another hole, this time to fall, cursing, into a perfectly placed ditch for nonexistent drainage facilities, Kakashi shifted his gaze from her. As he turned, he felt something warm and soft brush against his cheek, just above the breathable fabric of his mask. A couple of seconds passed without comprehension; then his senses finally spelt out what had happened in big simple letters for the benefit of his brain. He turned back to Kurotaka in shock, a vibrant blush rising to his cheeks as he realised what she had just done while he was distracted. She grinned back at him and jogged on ahead, hauling Masurao out of his ditch by one arm, snickering appreciatively the whole time.
"It's not funny, Kurotaka". Masurao gingerly massaged his side, flapping the folds of his grey long-sleeved shirt in order to empty them of sand.
"Really? How else could one describe the sight of you flailing in a hole, flat on your back, arms and legs waving in a most amusing manner?"
"Has anyone ever told you that you're a sadist?" He avoided the question.
"Kakashi has, I believe. I daresay other people have, but not to my face, or possibly to my face in the form of incomprehensible ranting at obnoxiously high pitches, so I couldn't tell".
"Just thought I'd ask". Grumbling under his breath, Masurao adjusted the pack on his shoulders and glanced back at where Kakashi was still standing, completely stunned and pink-tinged around the face in the middle of the narrow sand track. "What the hell's wrong with you?"
"Nothing at all", he murmured. "Nothing wrong at all".
………
The miserable little sand track flanked with miserable, scrubby little trees in miserable, scrubby bushland mutated into a considerably less miserable golden desert, rolling unchecked for miles, blotted only by the occasional VERY miserable scrubby tree. The trio trudged through deep sand, sinking past their knees whenever they released their Chakra support just for a moment. Kakashi was now striding in the lead, finding the going much easier than either Kuro or Masurao. Maps weren't necessary; he knew this area easily enough after years of spying missions and training in rugged conditions. Besides, if there was anything worth seeing, then it would stand out much more clearly in this landscape of virtually endless nothing.
"Where would Akiraka and Gai be, do you think?" Masurao called from the back of the group to Kakashi, as he bounded nimbly to a higher dune, scrying for a town or settlement somewhere.
"My guess would be one of the larger towns". He jogged back to where the other two had stopped, waiting for him to rejoin. "Even if we don't know exactly where they are, we can still ask around if anyone has seen those two. Akiraka can blend into a crowd pretty well, but Gai's just… kinda lousy".
"I thought he was ok at deception in his classes". Kurotaka raised one eyebrow. "That doesn't seem to make sense".
"Pardon? Oh, I just meant lousy as a person in general".
Masurao chuckled, "what is with the rivalry you two have any way? You're so petty, Kakashi…"
"I'm not petty. I just easily hold grudges and make bad first impressions, that's all".
"Isn't that practically the same thing?" Kurotaka snickered under her breath. Kakashi eye smiled at her. "Not practically the same thing. There are subtle differences".
"Like what?"
"What I said takes longer to say".
The desert was proving to be as bereft of life as it was of anything other than sand and scrub, even as they broke into a more efficient ninja-style run, loping swiftly over the great sprawl of nothingness. This couldn't continue for too long though. The amount of Chakra required to keep the Shinobi from sinking uselessly into the desert's depths wasn't great, but significant when it was expended continuously over the distances. The sooner they could find an inhabited area, the better. As the blazing afternoon sun darkened to harsher red and then waned to darkness, the Chuunin were running in the night, their path lit only by the moon that rode high over the whitened sands.
Kakashi steadied his pace, slowing back to a walk and signalling for the two behind him to do the same. The brightness of the moonlight was extraordinary, allowing them to pick their way across the desert even in the late evening, but they would be better to rest now while they could. Masurao yawned widely, craning one arm back to his pack and rummaging blindly through its depths. "How much longer do you reckon we have to travel until coming across something?" He drew out one of the water canteens and took a long draught, offering the skin to Kuro, which she accepted gratefully, downing some of the lukewarm water before passing it on to Kakashi. He too drank deeply and then handed it back to Masurao.
"Too long for us to make it all the way tonight. At least if Akiraka and Gai start heading back for Konoha, they should be able to spot us, since there isn't any cover here for miles". He stared hopelessly across the desolate sand plains. No cover even for them to rest under.
"We'd better break for the night and start up again in the morning, before it gets too hot to think". Kurotaka strode off their track and stamped around a patch of flatter sand, testing the strength of the ground beneath her. Satisfied, she dumped her own pack on the sand and sprawled herself beside it. Numbly, both men joined her, arranging their own packs and bringing out food and water supplies, unrolling sleeping bags.
"We've enough to last us on the trail for about a week, provided we all want to look like super models at the end of it", commented Masurao. "I don't know about you two, but that prospect doesn't exactly fill me with delight, so I suggest that we move faster tomorrow".
Kurotaka nodded wearily, calling out to the ghostly bird that silently circled over their little encampment. Guntou soared gracefully towards her outstretched arm and perched on her shoulder, with as much dignity as a scavenger seagull with every parasite known to birdlife inhabiting him can. She crooned softly to him as the bird preened a lock of her white-tipped ponytail with his beak. "Guntou will keep a watch for them should they come anywhere within this area tonight".
Kakashi nodded. That would allow all of them to rest without needing to put someone on watch duty. Just as well, since they'd need all the strength they could muster for the endurance run tomorrow with depleted Chakra supplies. Burrowing himself a little cave in the sand dune, he lay flat on his back, watching the stars. Tiny pinpricks of vivid white light, burning into his vision and marring the otherwise flawless eternal blackness above. Amazingly beautiful and clear, especially out in the desert where there was no pollution or cover to hide them from view. As fatigue claimed his mind, dreamy, half-formed thoughts swam around his head. The idea of billions of miles of space between him and the stars. Gravity being the only thing that held him onto this world. The coldness of the desert at night. Warmth from the neighbouring form of Kuro, leaning on him slightly for heat having rolled over in her sleep. Had she even rolled over in her sleep? Was it accidental or intentional?
His eyes eased shut and all thought ceased.
Dawn came early, along with the prematurely extreme heat that was typical with desert regions. The three Shinobi were continuing their uncomfortable pace, sweat dripping from their bodies to stain the golden sand below them, leaving a dark, haphazard trail of droplets with their footprints. How long they had been running since their pathetic excuse for breakfast and refreshment was unknown, but was generally figured to be some antisocial number in relation to the distance they had covered. The barren wasteland seemed to continue forever and Kakashi was already more than a little sick of the scenery. Of course, if you were a naturalist studying the behavioural habits of sand, then you were in paradise. Aside from that, Kakashi was bored out of his brain, sick of the scenery, sick of the pace and sick of the weight of his pack. All in all, this was yet another bad day in a never-ending string of bad days.
"Hey, I think there's a person over there!" Masurao's voice sang out over the monotonous beating of their Chakra-stuck feet on the sand.
"Where?" Kakashi jerked his head back towards where Masurao was jogging, pointing west. Following his friend's weary signal, Kakashi sighted a winding ribbon, made up of some kind of drudge animals. Sure enough, at the end of the trail was a blurred figure inanely waving a stick at his shuffling livestock. Such undignified behaviour could only be undertaken by a human. Kurotaka glanced at Kakashi, uncertain. "Do we confront them?"
Kakashi surveyed the scene. The figure was heading their way, but didn't seem to be doing it intentionally. The gangling animals appeared to be doing most of the steering. The fact that they were in the desert was more likely to have been the animals' decision, rather than that of the driver. He nodded tightly. "They do not appear to be a threat as of the moment, but we should be careful".
Masurao cracked his knuckles. "Do we take the violent approach for information, or play the dumb tourist role?"
"Dumb tourist I'd reckon. Try not to give any more information than is really necessary".
"Point taken. Don't question, don't answer".
"Come now you two, is it really so hard for you to tell the truth?" Kurotaka shook her head and tutted mockingly, starting now the dune towards the herder. "Living such dishonest lives… how can you sleep at night?"
"Usually in a sleeping bag with my eyes closed, although at this precise moment I could settle for any random place in the sand".
"It was a rhetorical question Kakashi".
Upon their approach, the herder gave a shriek and waved his staff threateningly in their direction, white robes flapping dramatically. Masurao stepped into the lead, muttering quietly. "Just let me handle this for now". Kakashi stared straight ahead, affixing the herder with what he hoped was a trustworthy gaze. Judging by the increased flailing, it wasn't working very well. A lean, evil-looking camel cantered past Kakashi, lashing out with one flat, splayed foot and nearly catching the Chuunin in the ribs, had he not hastily stepped aside.
Masurao raised his hands in the universal gesture for "look-I'm-not-carrying-a-weapon-of-mass-or-minor-destruction" and walked carefully towards the enraged man before them. Silently, Kakashi braced himself, readying for a quick catch in the likely event of Masurao getting bludgeoned by the battered staff and thrown backwards into a camel. Clearing his throat loudly, Masurao tried for first communication.
"Hello? Can you understand me?"
Yet more flailing. It seemed angrier and it was heading more distinctly for Masurao. Kakashi visibly braced himself for the catch. Masurao may be an efficient ninja and well set-up to become a Jounin, but he didn't always make brilliant tactical decisions when it concerned his own safety. Keeping his hands raised and eyes lowered, Masurao stood his ground even as the flailing attacker launched himself at him. It was quite interesting to watch. One was performing the natural defensive stance and the other was performing the offensive, and as with all of these things; the one on the offensive had no choice other than to lose.
The staff arched through the air, crashing down towards the black-haired ninja's skull. There was a crack and the staff fell apart in the herder's hands, sheared into quarters by an unseen move. Unseen by the herder at least. Kurotaka shuffled to stand beside Kakashi. "What was that? I felt the Chakra but there wasn't a seal…"
"Masurao can release cutting Chakra without use of a seal". Kakashi smiled behind his mask as the herder skidded to a halt and stammered in shock over the pile of fragmented wood that he had been meaning to turn into a deadly weapon against three mid-level ninja. "He prefers not to carry shuriken and kunai, since they require cleaning and can be heavy. The Chakra throwing-knives are more difficult to learn, but easier to take care of in that respect. Also, after a battle you don't have to hunt through your opponent in order to get your favourite shuriken back".
Kurotaka shuddered. "I usually prefer to let people keep the shuriken I give them. After they've used it, I'm not so keen on having it back".
"It's called recycling, Kuro-chan".
"I think disgusting would be more accurate". She gave him a strange look, but didn't comment on the endearment he had attached to her name. Did she think he was just mocking her? Was he just mocking her?
No. It didn't seem so. His brain was finally rounding to a conclusion and Kakashi wasn't exactly upset with it.
"Do you understand what I'm saying?" Masurao's voice caught their attentions again. The herder was now staring sullenly at the ground, camels ambling around them in search of scrub. Having dispatched of the staff, Masurao had taken the upper hand with minimum effort.
"Hai… but you can't have my stock. I need to sell them in Earth country for my boss; I've been instructed to fight to the death for them against thieves". He glared defiantly at Masurao, shooting Kakashi and Kurotaka a nasty look at the same time. Masurao lowered his hands.
"We didn't come here to give you trouble, sir. Only to ask directions".
The herder stiffened, eyes narrowing suspiciously. "Why are you all the way out here? Travellers don't try to cross this desert on foot; it'd be suicide. Only thieves and fools lurk around the desert like this".
Masurao coughed uncomfortably. "I'm afraid we fall into the "fools" category then. You see, we're trying to track down two of our companions who should be in one of the towns here. The only problem is that we have no idea where we're going".
Kakashi took this opportunity to speak. "Which town area did you come from, how far away was it?"
Frowning, the weather-beaten man pointed behind himself, waving his hand in a vaguely north-westerly direction. "About a five-days' herding time away is a fairly big town. It's not the capital, but I'd reckon your friends would be somewhere in the vicinity. The bigger towns are all relatively close to it as well, since there aren't that many water sources in Wind country". He stared at them shrewdly. "You're not going to make it there alive. I had to take supplies on an extra four camels in order to make it this far. There's no way you have enough to sustain you in your packs alone, but I'm not giving you anything".
Kakashi and Masurao exchanged glances. What now? There was a very obvious answer to the sustenance problem standing right in front of them… Before Masurao could subtly give the man a mild concussion, Kuro stepped forward, hands clasped to her chest in a most uncharacteristically maidenly fashion, eyes welling with tears. The herder stared at her suspiciously, but something was working behind his eyes and the way they kept travelling up and down her form was hard to miss. She didn't say a word, letting tears spill down her cheeks before collapsing onto the sand and burrowing her face in her hands, shoulders shaking and breath heaving with theatrical sobs. It took Kakashi less than a second to figure out what she was doing and he had to bite down hard on the fabric of his mask to stop himself from laughing out loud.
Such an amateurish trick; so simple and unimaginative… she didn't seriously think it would work, did she? The urge to roll on the sand howling with laughter was almost unbearable.
"Lady… get out of my way would you? This isn't my problem…" Just as the herder tried to step around Kurotaka to continue chasing his camels, she launched herself at him, a kunai's handle pinched between each finger. There was a blur of limbs and now it was the herder on the sand, with Kuro seated cross-legged on his chest, his arms pinned by her own and the kunai in a neat little pile before her.
"Come now, good sir… you wouldn't seriously let me and my companions just die out here?" Her voice was sugary, level and eyes friendly. The whole scene didn't fit her voice or manner. She grinned cheerfully at him, "we don't want to have to hurt anyone, really… we just need a bit of help. Could you see fit to give us a hand?"
The herder was white, livid with fury and thrashing under her grasp. He refused even to answer her. With a sigh, she uncrossed one foot and planted it on his throat. Kakashi raised one eyebrow. The view the herder was receiving was more than a little compromising for Kurotaka, but she wasn't the one in danger here. Without any change of outside emotion or expression, she let her foot press against his throat a little harder, just so that his breath rasped.
"We just need a little help. This is for your own good you know. It's not very polite to leave people to die in the desert".
To cut a long story short, the herder agreed.
Mounted on the back of an exceptionally fat camel, Kakashi was experiencing the very disconcerting gait that is a camel's undignified lumber. The exceptionally tall creature seemed to be equal in girth to its height, resulting in the Chuunin's feet jutting out uncomfortably from the sides of his saddle.
"Don't you think you were a little rude back there?"
Kurotaka twisted around from where she was trotting on ahead on the back of her evil-tempered mount, flicking its head angrily and making growling sounds that didn't bode well for the overall contentment of the animal. "What was that?"
Nudging his valiant steed into a grudging canter, he caught up to where she was attempting to install brakes to her own, oh-so-cooperative mount. "Could you not have picked a more pleasant way to win the man's support? After all, he was only doing his job back there".
"Kakashi… a nice man wouldn't have been so willing to let us wander off and die out here. He got what he deserved. Maybe in future he'll be more charitable".
"All the same, there were better ways that could have been done by".
"Fine. In future you can play the maiden-without-a-brain-in-distress role. Unfortunately, such a role doesn't sit well with me and I tend to get bored and add my own spins to it".
"I noticed", commented Kakashi dryly. "To be honest, I didn't think you would be able to go through with such a lame and old trick. I was wondering how long it would take for you to snap and attack somebody, since you promised not to hit me any more".
She widened her eyes at him in mock horror. "How can you say such a thing?"
"Ok you two, I'm getting sick of this". Masurao's flea-bitten camel trotted up level with their own, dust coloured animals. "Either you two change the subject or shut up… coupled with the heat and this wretched creature, your arguments are giving me a headache". With that, he gave his steed a smack on the rump, intending to spur the grouchy camel on.
There was a roar, a massive twisting buck and another yell, followed swiftly by a soft thudding sound as Masurao and the sand reacquainted themselves at high speed, the camel lumbering off at high speed ahead of them. Kurotaka let out a roar of laughter and took off after the other camel, while Kakashi waited for his friend to dig himself out of his Masurao-shaped dent in the sand, shaking his head with mock disdain.
………
wild-filly: Should be able to update this soon… with any luck Please review!
