Stan sighed happily as he and Kyle reviewed their notes from the first trial report in their room during their free period. Technically, this was cheating, but they weren't giving each other the exact numbers from their group. Even with Kyle in exclusively AP classes aside from Spanish, working together to topple Cartman, some wack-job celebrity, homework projects, a mystic, an ethereal race, Visitors, or Crab People was still pretty much a daily event. Still, Stan could take the opportunity to revel in the intimacy of the whole thing, the way they spoke in hushed tones, and every once in a while afforded the other with a light touch, or when they found something to joke about, a playful shove.
Then they decided to take a quick break to run screaming down the street, for absolutely no reason better than the fact that they were at a camp for business enterprise, so they really weren't in a position to argue that they had much more of a life.
When they were finally out of breath, but somehow laughing through their pants for air, they had to cling to each other to remain upright, but because neither had a good balance, they wound up toppling over, into the street.
"If a car comes, right now, it will run us over, split our bodies into bloody masses of organs, bone, and flesh, killing us instantly. But hey, I think it's a rather appropriate way to go, as long as it ends with us here, together, clinging to each other." Kyle mused.
"That's disgusting, but then again, love can be pretty sick, too. Still, it would make an awesome romantic horror film." Stan said.
"Romantic horror film." Kyle repeated incredulously.
"Gory, but with enough cheesy, sugary romance to make your teeth rot. Based on a true story, too. That'll pull the crowds in." Stan said.
"I guess I'd pay to see it." Kyle mused again.
"My God! A Jew willing to pay eighteen dollars! And then, by the time the movie will be filmed, edited, and produced, inflation will just make the price high. Oh, no! Oy gavault!" Stan cried melodramatically.
"That it, then. No popcorn or drinks for us. Although, you do realize that for it to even happen, we'd be dead so this is a useless argument." Kyle reminded him.
"It would still make an awesome movie."
"It would, Stan, it would."
"We'd have to hire Terrance and Phillip to play us."
"I heard that their getting married sometime soon."
"Whoa! Dude, no way! The whole world is turning gay!"
Although, Kyle didn't really see it that he was turning gay, more that he was just a Stanophile. Because, really, he couldn't picture himself running around screaming through the streets of Telluride, and then lovingly embracing in the middle of the street preparing to be killed while discussing the plans for the major motion film about it, with anyone else, male or female. The same went for doing any other of one of the crazy ass things they pulled off together. Just Stan. Stan, who at that same moment was pondering the same thing, only for Kyle, although it looked more like a very detailed crayola drawing, with an airplane, and a sun wearing a cheesy grin and a smiley face, and then they were stick figures holding hands and smiling.
"Hey, dudes? How am I like an orange cream soda?" Kenny randomly appeared, with a nearly empty bottle of the aforementioned object held in his hand, as if it were a completely normal thing to ask, and as if it were completely normal to ask two guys, lovingly embracing in the middle of the street preparing to be killed while discussing the plans for a major motion film about it, and were contemplating creating two new sexual orientations.
"Huh?" Stan asked intelligently.
"Say what?" Asked Kyle.
"I just don't get it, I mean…" Kenny was about to continue, but right at that moment a bright red Volkswagon Beetle plowed into him, turning him into a bloody mass of organs, bone, and flesh, completely missing Stan and Kyle.
"Figures it was a German car." Kyle scoffed.
"Punch buggy red." Stan said, and slapped Kyle's ass.
"The game goes punch, not slap ass."
"Anyway. Oh my God! The Germans indirectly killed Kenny!"
"Those bastards!"
Authors note:
Whoohoo! Two chapters to go! For some reason, this one is my favorite so far.
Before I rush off to go finish chapter seven, I will leave you with some questions to ponder;
Will Kenny ever discover why he is like orange cream soda, or what rhymes with orange? What are the other team cheers, anyway? Will Wendy be able to situate her evil empire, or will Cartman wind up the victor of the $20, speaking of which, what does that bet entail? Will Stan and Kyle ever get to make out again, and will the next time get more detail? Will the Visitors or Crab People ever show up? Who will win Camper of the Year? Which team will win Biz Sim? Will Kyle ever get over his irrational fear of conforming to stereotyping? Will Stan kill Kenny to avoid prom? Will there even be a prom? And are Terrance and Phillip really going to get married?
All this and more to be answered in the upcoming chapters…and no one cares! XD
