A/N: Very quick stuff here. Profuse and profound apologies about the delay. My muse decided to tour Europe while RL kicked in. Thank you to everyone who reviewed the fic up to this point -- I'm sorry, but I want to get this out there asap, so I don't have the time at the mo to go abck through and thank you all individually. It is very much appreciated though.

TM: as usual, you're an angel for putting up with me. Hugs to you, this is as fixed as best as I could do it.

VII – Anakin is 22 years old

His head ached abominably. The brilliant fluorescent of the passing speeders, the golden pools of light spilling from the Temple's windows, even the glimmer of luminescence off the white armour of the clone troopers intensified the pain. Anakin… but no, he wasn't Anakin anymore, was he? Lord Sidious had given him a new name. He was Vader. Darth Vader pulled his black cloak tighter around himself, tugging the hood up over his head.

There was a dragon curling around his heart, eating him alive from the inside out. It was a worm of fear that gnawed at his spirit, destroying his soul. It burned, burned with a cold fire that made his hands tremble violently. It was consuming him, and Vader didn't know what else to do but satisfy its hunger. His visions were getting worse as well, making him wake sobbing, curling over to hug the sleeping figure of his Master tightly, unwilling to let him go. He did not remember when they had started, these images that carried an ominous ring of prophecy. The dreams that cast into sharp relief everything that he had gained in his life… and everything that he still stood to lose.

The dreams were recent, but the dragon had always been there, ever since Anakin had been a young slave. It fed off his fear of the dark, fear for his mother. It had grown once he had been taken in by the Jedi, had plagued him with the idea that his good fortune was too sweet to ever last.

It had grown stronger with every year spent with Obi-Wan. It twisted inside of him on every mission, every time a stray blaster bolt came too close to his beloved for comfort. It laughed at him, muttering in sibilant undertones that thundered through him with every beat of his frantic heart. It promised him that the end would come soon.

And he would be alone. Shattered, weak, helpless. Alone.

Every night he saw Obi-Wan, standing on a bank of black sand above a river of fire. There were tears on his cheeks, his face twisted into a terrible grimace of pain. His eyes were shining silver, echoing terrible sadness. He was screaming something, words that Anakin didn't want to hear.

'I loved you!'

Loved. He had stopped loving Anakin. It had always been only a matter of time before the two of them parted ways. Before their attachment grew too strong. From Anakin's perspective, it was already too late. He had fallen in love, and it filled him with paralysing terror of loss.

Obi-Wan's face, contorted in anguish, continued to haunt Anakin's dreams night after night.

'I loved you…'

He just wanted it to end. The nightmares, the visions, the uncertainty…he wanted it all to end. He had allowed himself to become soft, weak under the guidance of the Jedi Order. It had been that weakness that had prevented him from saving his mother, the woman who meant the world to him. That same weakness would make him lose Obi-Wan.

Once he purged himself of that frailty, the nightmares would stop. The fear would subside, and the dragon would leave. The uncertainty would end when he was strong, powerful. Untouchable to anyone, removed from fear.

And Lord Sidious had told him how. Sidious had made him realize that the Jedi were the ones who were doing this to him, who gave him power and forbade him to use it, who bound him to the man he loved and denied him the right to feel.

"'Take your Master Kenobi for instance, my friend. I certainly would not be able to find fault with him as a Jedi, but therein lies the problem. I cannot imagine him ever soul bonding with another Knight, or even allowing himself to be attached to someone. It would go against the very Order he lives for….

'Anakin? Are you quite all right? I do hope I haven't said anything to upset you….'"

Lord Sidious was right of course. As long as he followed the Jedi Code, he would be bound as surely as he had been constrained in slavery on Tatooine. Obi-Wan would never allow himself to love Anakin, to be attached to him. And it hurt. It tore away at the last shreds of self-control he had possessed, and had let the dragon in his heart break free. And it was all because of the Jedi. They twisted people, turned their minds, denied them the most important facet of being alive – the right to love. They were evil. Sidious had helped him to see that. They only wanted control. Control of the galaxy, control of the powers Anakin possessed as their 'Chosen One.' The title made him sneer now. Vader was no one's chosen; they had no right to chose him for anything. He owed them nothing now.

Obi-Wan had been a means to an end; Vader could see that now. There was no passion, there was only serenity. There was no such thing as love within the Jedi Order, only sex as a means to dispel tension. The illusion of something more had been one more pretty chain to bind Anakin to them, to foster a sense of loyalty, of devotion, of trust….

Something in Vader lurched painfully at the last, a raw ache that pierced his heart for a moment before he shoved it aside roughly. Trust was weakness, a pleasant illusion for those too feeble to understand the truth that Sidious had shown him.

There was no strength in the Light Side. It was rotten, corrupted with its arbitrary rules that safeguarded the pitiful and contemptible Masters, and killed the young, impressionable Padawans. They died on far-flung battlefields, while the Council sat in increasing stagnation in their haven of the Temple. And they would not let it end, because the war made them more powerful; it let them grab more and more control.

Anakin had not wanted to believe it; he had been blinded by the Jedi's lies. But Vader could see the truth clearly. The Jedi hurt people without thought or regret, too terrified to ever look into the shadows beyond the fading light and seize true Mastery.

There was only one solution.

"'That's the question you have to ask yourself, my young friend. What do you love more? The man who will never – can never – return your devotion, or peace for the entire galaxy from this bitter war?'"

A sharp motion of his hand, and the clones marched forward behind him, flooding up the large avenue that lead to the Temple proper. Snow was starting to drift down from the clouds overhead, muting the noise of a thousand boots marching in perfect rhythm.

Solstice Night. The one evening when all the Masters were almost guaranteed to be in the Temple. It was the perfect time to stage this attack. No, not an attack. This wasn't aggression; this was necessity. It was a purge of the evil that was seeping through the galaxy. They would cut it out at its very heart, cauterising the festering wound of the Jedi in the minds of all citizens of the Republic.

"Sir, recon picked up a life form just outside the entranceway."

"Capture him," Vader hissed, waving one hand imperiously. "We don't want him to alert the others." Two clones instantly peeled off from the group, slipping through the shadows towards the massive doors. Vader raised his other hand in the air, signalling the rest of the platoon to halt as he swept on ahead up the stairs.

And paused, seeing the familiar figure who gazed up at the cloud-muffled sky.

No. No, no, no. Sith no….

"Anakin!" Obi-Wan smiled, looking delighted. "I was wondering when you would return, I –" he stopped as Vader ignited his sabre, the blue beam cutting blindingly through the darkness. Instantly, the two hidden clones grabbed the stunned Jedi Knight, kicking his knees out from under him and twisting his arms back.

Obi-Wan struggled against them in vain, too shocked by the sudden reversal of events to even call on the Force to aid him. Vader could feel his confusion, could see it in the wide silver eyes that turned his way desperately. Vader smirked, enjoying the Jedi Master's bewilderment. He had learned to guard his thoughts well from the Jedi, hiding the dragon in his heart from their prying eyes. Even this Jedi, who had claimed to love Anakin, hadn't been able to divine Vader's thoughts. Undoubtedly, this abrupt reversal had shaken him badly.

Vader smiled. How marvellous, to tear out the foundations of belief from underneath a Jedi Master. To take away in one move all faith in the Light, and reveal the dominating power of the Dark Side. It gave him an incredible rush of power, just as Sidious had promised it would.

Obi-Wan had ceased fighting, his eyes locked on Vader's own. "Anakin?"

The moment of wicked euphoria was banished by the sound of that voice, so lost, so hurt. Hoarse with shock, the melodious timbre was roughened with despair, making Vader tremble.

No! He would not be weak, not now. The Jedi would die tonight, and Kenobi among them. That was the only way to prevent the visions from coming true, to keep Obi-Wan from screaming those words.

I loved you….

Vader was above love, above fear and pain – emotions that this… this pitiful Jedi Knight represented to him. He had known that Obi… that Kenobi would die tonight, but some part of him – the detestable part of him that was still so pathetic – had hoped it would be a death he would not have to witness. That he would find the body after the purge, shrunken and empty, and be able to laugh, finally free from the source of his fear, his weakness.

It was more fitting that he be the one to free himself.

Tearing his eyes away from Kenobi's own, he nodded curtly to the commander who had followed behind him. "Secure the perimeter. Wait on my signal."

"No… no, Cody, don't…don't do it…" Kenobi managed to gasp out before being kicked sharply in the stomach. He doubled over in pain, sobbing for breath.

"My orders don't come from you anymore, General." Commander Cody answered almost regretfully, nodding once to Vader before jogging back down the stairs to the waiting platoon.

"Do you want us to execute him, Lord Vader?"

"No," he shook his head slowly, staring down at the pathetically crumpled figure of his former Master. "No, this is one Jedi I'll kill myself." He lashed out spitefully, kicking at Kenobi in anger. The Jedi flinched, hissing softly in pain, but his intense gaze never left Vader's face. It unnerved him, the despairing calm with which the Jedi faced him. A sharp nod at the two impassive clones, and one struck Kenobi across the temple with the butt of his blaster, driving him to the ground.

Vader watched dispassionately, eyeing the bloody gash on Kenobi's temple unfeelingly. The Jedi deserved to suffer. They all did, but Kenobi most of all.

Because you never loved me. Because you're only waiting to leave me. Because I was nothing more than a cheap fuck to you. I hate you. Bastard, I hate you.

And that hatred made him strong, just as Sidious had promised it would. Sidious had never lied to him, had never failed to live up to his vows.

'I loved you'

I hate you…

"Anakin, please," Kenobi stared up at him, his eyes a vibrant blue, brighter even than Vader's sabre. "Don't do this."

The dragon inside shrank backwards from the light in those eyes, and then surged up again, burning Vader's heart, clawing tighter at his spirit.

No. He didn't want to listen to Kenobi's words, didn't want to hear that he was loved in return. It would only make things harder. Obi-Wan would still leave him eventually, and hadn't he taught himself to harden his heart, to prepare for that rejection? He had to be cold; it was the only way to protect himself. To keep the nightmares at bay. He could not allow himself to be susceptible, not anymore.

"Anakin."

"My lord?"

No more.

Vader could feel his heart pounding loudly in his ears, could feel the rasp of his breath catching in his throat. The clones holding Kenobi exchanged subtle glances, and Vader cursed himself silently. He was being weak. He wouldn't allow himself to be so feeble any longer.

It hurt too much.

Blinking rapidly, Vader knelt down in front of Kenobi, his cloak billowing out darkly behind him as he leaned down to his former Master's eye-level. He paused for a second, forcing himself to stare into Kenobi's eyes, letting the Jedi see his own death in their shimmering red depths.

Obi-Wan would die. And Anakin would die with him. Then Vader would be safe forever, invulnerable, protected. And life would be easier.

Yes. Just like his Master – his new Master – had promised. Vader stood abruptly.

"Kill him," he whispered, striding past, black cloak flowing out behind him. He couldn't do it himself. He would slaughter any other Jedi that his Lord put before him, and do it gladly, to cool the furnace that was consuming his heart. But he wasn't strong enough yet for this. Not for this.

Those eyes haunted his dreams enough already.

Vader straightened his shoulders, crossing his arms across his chest, furious at this moment of weakness. Swiftly, he invented justifications, anything to explain away his inability to end the Jedi's life. Kenobi wasn't worthy of a Jedi's death, given by the grace of a lightsabre. Vader wouldn't sully his hands with killing his former Master.

However, he couldn't force himself to watch either, preferring to stare at the massive doors of the Temple before him. Let Kenobi die dishonourably; he was a coward, not even daring to fight the clones who held him captive. Well, he could die at their hands then.

He wasn't afraid of them; he was only unwilling to strike you down.

The thought came unbidden, and was swiftly shoved aside. It didn't matter.

There was the snap-hiss of a lightsabre being ignited, the sound of two bodies falling. Vader tensed, ready to turn and drive his sabre through Kenobi's heart. It was what Lord Sidious would expect of him, to silence this Jedi Master, symbol of the stagnation of the Republic. Set in his archaic customs, blind to anything beyond the rigid Code that bound him.

The dragon in his mind roared, screaming for blood, for death. To be fed, to be quieted, if only for a little while. Only the purge of the Temple would satisfy the demon inside that was devouring him. Lord Sidious had promised him.

But it would come back, to eat at his mind. It never stayed silent for long.

Vader snarled at that stray thought, blocking his mind against it. It wasn't true; Sidious had promised that killing the Jedi would make everything cease to hurt him. It would make him stronger. The dragon would die along with the Jedi.

But instead of turning to engage Kenobi in sabre combat, Vader's hand loosened inexplicably, letting the hilt fall from his grasp to clatter on the ground as he sank to his knees.

What was wrong with him? He gritted his teeth in anger at the furious tearing pain in his heart, the roar of the dragon echoing in his ears. A roar that overlay the sound of quiet sobbing, a sickening sensation of grief that leeched into Vader's cold mind.

Stop. STOP! A voice pleaded in Vader's cold mind, barely more than a whisper. Anakin's voice, weak Jedi scum that he was. Vader ignored it, blocking out the sound with casual cruelty. Anakin would struggle, but in the end he was too feeble to triumph against the power that Sidious had given Vader. Soon enough, his voice would be silenced permanently.

Please stop….

Footsteps.

Vader knew he was only aware of his former Master's approach because Kenobi allowed them to be heard. The man could move more silently than a puuri cat when he wanted to.

He wanted Vader to hear him coming.

It didn't matter.

Vader drew a deep breath, straightening his spine and tilting his head back slightly, keeping his eyes tightly shut. Yes. This could end the suffering as well. If Kenobi killed him, then the nightmares would stop. The pain would stop, and it would be permanent. He wouldn't ever be able to be hurt by anybody again.

Yes.

He felt Kenobi pause behind him, and mentally urged the Jedi Master to strike. He wanted it to be over, and quickly. Just to end it.

"My Lord," Obi-Wan said with quiet sarcasm, but Vader trembled slightly. Trembled, because underneath that cold mask of emotionless impassivity that the Sith had placed on him, Anakin Skywalker was crying at the pain that tinged his former Master's words. Vader couldn't block out the sound of that voice in his mind, the voice of a Jedi who was supposed to already be dead. The fragile, emotional side of his personality that he had crushed beneath the weight of the Dark Side.

Anakin was screaming in his mind, trying to break free, trying to reach out to Kenobi.

'Obi-Wan! Obi-Wan, please!'

Vader cruelly crushed the faint echo of a bond instantly, snuffing out Anakin's desperate attempts to make Kenobi hear him.

Irritating pest.

"Aren't you going to kill me, Master Kenobi?" Vader whispered, voice heavily sardonic.

"I would very much like to."

The icy venom in that cultured voice, lying thinly over an unfathomable depth of hurt and betrayal and love made Anakin surge forward, cracking Vader's mask for a second. He doubled over, arms crossed tightly over his chest, crying out softly at the pain that tore through him. Anakin's pain, his love and anguish and fear….

With a harsh gasp, Vader snatched up his fallen sabre and lunged to his feet, igniting the blade as he whirled on Kenobi. The stunned Jedi Knight staggered back a step, narrowly avoiding the blow, his eyes wide with momentary shock. Then his own sabre leapt back to life, and Vader observed the shift in those calculating eyes. It was as though something shut down inside Kenobi, killing the man, and leaving only the programmed movements of a Jedi.

Their blades crashed together, thunderous in the echoing vault of the ceiling above, painfully bright against the encroaching darkness. Vader drove Kenobi back towards the sweeping steps bit by bit, every strike ferocious and precise. He spun and whirled, baring his teeth in a ferocious grin as Kenobi met each movement with equal grace. It was a dance, more intimate than a lover's caress – Obi-Wan and Anakin had been sparring partners far longer than anything else. Subconsciously Vader and Kenobi adjusted for every strike, knowing without thinking each other's movements by heart.

From the corner of his eye, Vader saw the clone troops level their blasters as he and Kenobi reached the top of the stairs. Momentarily distracted, he hissed as Kenobi's blade came slashing down overhead, adjusting his own stance to meet the blow. The blades crashed together, sparks of energy flying, both men straining against each other with all their strength.

Vader gave in first, twisting sharply aside and sweeping his sabre downwards so Kenobi would stumble. In that free second, he flung out a Force-push that sent the tense clones sprawling backwards.

"He's mine!" Vader screamed, raising his blade high as Kenobi regained his footing and turned back warily, sabre at the ready.

"Yours?" Kenobi's lips twisted on the word in mockery, as he slowly gave ground, bringing the battle back into the shadow of the Temple.

'Mmm…mine…' Anakin murmured in contentment, hooking one leg over Obi-Wan's hip to pull him closer.

'I didn't realize I was a possession…,' Obi-Wan muttered with a yawn, turning to snuggle against Anakin's chest. Anakin wriggled as his lover's beard tickled sensitive skin, prompting a lazy grumble from the sleepy Obi-Wan….

Vader staggered backwards at the memory that exploded behind his eyes, barely parrying Kenobi's next blow. The Force of it was enough to drive him to his knees, arms trembling with effort to keep Kenobi's sabre from crashing down upon him.

Vader glanced up, feeling sudden desperation like acid in his veins, and met Kenobi's eyes. And saw the sparkle of unshed tears. Anakin yearned to kiss away those tears, wanted to pull Obi-Wan into his arms. Anakin wanted Obi-Wan to hold him, to feel safe and confident and let him cry for all the damage they had unwittingly done to each other.

Would Obi-Wan have tried to help him had Anakin ever told his lover about the nightmares…?

'No,' Vader hissed to himself, trying to drown out the momentary doubt with his cold, calculating arrogance. 'Why should Kenobi give a damn? You are nothing but a convenient lay, a fuck toy. He never loved you. You know whom he loved.'

Yes, Vader knew that just as Anakin did. Kenobi had loved Jinn. The Jedi forbade attachment, of course, so they had sent Jinn to die. A suicide mission that would leave Anakin alone again. Vader remembered how much Kenobi hated Anakin, the resentment, anger, and bitterness that had been directed towards him. He was no different from the other Jedi. He deserved to die.

And yet, when Kenobi stepped back cautiously, sabre raised again in a ready position, Vader could not bring himself to rise and resume the attack. He felt heavy, so heavy….

The sabre clattered from his fingers, rolling across the marble towards Kenobi. The Jedi did not blink, did not take his eyes from Vader's own, gazes locked together in mutual misery.

"End it." Vader didn't know who spoke; if it was himself, or Anakin, or even Kenobi. The voice, whomever it belonged to, was full of bitterness.

Vader knew he had failed his new Master by giving in to this Jedi, by being incapable of striking Kenobi down. He hadn't purged his own spirit of its frailties; the dragon was still tearing bloody furrows in his heart.

Nothing had changed. Nothing would change. Sidious had lied to him, just as everyone else had ever done.

Why was Kenobi hesitating? He, Vader, was the enemy, he was a Sith who would have destroyed the Temple had it not been for this fucking Jedi.

"KILL ME!" He screamed in anger, a fury borne of overwhelming terror. False bravado, hiding the little boy underneath who was still afraid of the dark. Darkness that he lived in now, completely of his own volition.

Obi-Wan laughed: a harsh, despairing sound. "You know very well that I can't." He was shaking, Vader noticed, face contorted in a grimace of pain. "Anakin…."

Something snapped, as though the bonds that had kept Anakin Skywalker captive behind the mask of Vader were suddenly broken. It was the love, the painful, overbearing love with which Obi-Wan spoke his name. The love that had always been there, in every look, in every touch, in every kiss.

Vader screamed, roaring like the dragon that tried to eat his soul, to destroy any goodness that was inside of him. They were the same in the end, Vader and the dragon. Both were borne of darkness and fear. Anakin gasped for air, realizing that he was sobbing, doubled over in pain as he ripped through the cloud of poisoned words in which Sidious had wrapped him.

He didn't want to die. He didn't want to be a Sith. He didn't want to wake screaming every night from visions of Obi-Wan crying, or to tear himself apart with fear every time Obi-Wan went on a solo mission. Anakin wanted to lock Obi-Wan in their shared apartments so that he couldn't get hurt any more, and sleep forever in the halo of those strong arms. And he knew that that was impossible. That uncertainty, that fear, hadn't left him. Nothing had changed in that respect.

And yet everything had. Anakin had changed. He was a traitor to the Jedi, to Obi-Wan, and to himself.

Dimly, Anakin heard Obi-Wan's voice, low and urgent, as though in a dream, barely penetrating the relentless screaming that was echoing inside his head. Jedi were going to die tonight. And it would be all his fault. He would be branded a murderer tonight, and it would be nothing but truth.

All his fault.

"Masters. This is Obi-Wan Kenobi. The Temple is under attack, repeat: the Temple is under attack. Quinlan, get your ass down here to the main entrance right away. I'm going to need your help."

Through the haze of tears that blinded him, Anakin stretched out one hand in entreaty to Obi-Wan as the Jedi Knight brushed past him. A plea that went unanswered – Obi-Wan's expression was stern and resolute.

Sobs choked Anakin, he curled over tighter, hands clenched against the cold, unfeeling marble. He could not turn to look, could not bear to see Obi-Wan striding confidently forward and down those stairs to where the better part of half a troop of clones would be waiting. In his mind's eye, he could see Obi-Wan's body sprawled on the steps of the Temple, sightless grey eyes asking unanswerable questions of the sky above, burn marks scorching his once immaculate tunics.

There was a scream. A howl of grief and rage and fear. The sensation of movement, dizzyingly fast, blurred sky and columns and stairs. Then there were white bodies all around him, faceless men in identical armour that melted away at the kiss of his lightsabre. And Obi-Wan wasn't going to die because Anakin loved him and he wasn't going to let anyone hurt his Obi-Wan, and –

"Anakin! Anakin!"

No! They were pulling him away, but there were some clones still left alive, clones that might fire at Obi-Wan and hurt him and that would be unforgivable, and Anakin wouldn't let them. He would. Not. Let. Them. He struggled wildly against the arms that held him and dragged him backwards, realizing that the howling scream was coming from his own throat.

He was back inside the Temple. The pungent smell of the pinears arranged about the grand entrance assaulted his senses, making him feel dizzy and weak. The sounds of battle still echoed from outside as he was released. Staggering to his feet, Anakin turned back towards the doors.

Obi-Wan…. Obi-Wan….

"Not so fast, young one," a sharp voice instructed, as he was pulled back again. Anakin tried to struggle, but his limbs felt too weak. He swayed, and found himself abruptly on his back on the floor, with Quinlan kneeling over him. The Jedi Master had a dispassionate scowl on his face. Anakin protested feebly as his outer tunic was pushed aside, as a bacta patch was pressed firmly against his skin. Only then, as the healing tingle spread through the wound, did Anakin realize that he was soaked with blood.

"Lie still." Quinlan instructed him tersely.

"Obi-…Obi-Wan…?"

"You won't be any help to him like this. Stay still."

"It's… it's Palpatine… the Chancellor is… is the Sith…."

"I see."

Anakin flinched as a brilliant yellow lightsabre leaped to life, as Quinlan turned away and strode back out into the battle.

There were no tears left, no outlet for the unbearable agony that was a crushing weight on his chest. It made it so hard to breathe…. Striving to sit up, Anakin frantically gasped for air, a fearful whimper escaping him when he found none. The room lurched before his eyes, and cool stone was abruptly kissing his flushed cheek once again.

---

He floated: body weightless and yet somehow heavy, a nauseating feeling of vertigo that twisted in his stomach. Images fluttered past his eyes, fading in and out; blurred, surreal, untouchable. The dazzling green of blaster bolts outside traced odd patterns of shadows on the vaulted Temple ceilings; moving, living things that crawled slowly towards Anakin, trying to wrap around his senses yet again.

He tried to scream, tried to push them away, but he was tumbling backwards into darkness. Darkness tinged with the scent of pinear trees….

'Take your Master Kenobi, for instance… can't imagine him ever soul bonding with another Knight….'

'The Council can go to hell, Master Vos; he is in no condition to be making a report to them – '

'That is the question you have to ask yourself, my young friend…'

'Master Unduli, I wouldn't ask this of you if it wasn't of utmost importance. The Council must see the boy right now.'

'Obi-Wan, you at least should take some rest –'

'I'll be fine.'

---

Anakin groaned softly, blinking as he opened his eyes. Instantly, panic filled him. Where was he? What was going on? Was Obi-Wan all right? There had been shadows, shadows moving in the darkness. The trees –

"Steady, young one," a gruff voice chided him, as steadying arms guided him from where he had slumped on the floor.

Anakin breathed out slowly, pressing one hand over his eyes and shaking his head to try to clear it. His heart ached, the dragon that lay inside of him rattling at the bars of its cage. He pressed one hand against his chest reflexively, trying to soothe the pain, and startled when his hand met a bacta- and blood-soaked bandage. That was the pain. The pain from his wound. The dragon was gone.

For the moment, at least.

Master Luminara was staring at him, Anakin could feel her eyes. Watching, assessing. He forced a smile as he gently pushed her arms away, He could stand on his own. But when he turned away from her support, the sight that met his eyes almost made his knees buckle again.

Quinlan stood a few feet away, an unreadable expression on his face. Anakin had always felt uneasy around the Jedi Knight. It was too hard to determine his thoughts from his face – it was something about the tattoo that underlined his eyes. It was distracting, pulling Anakin's focus away from those dark eyes which might otherwise give a clue to the Jedi Knight's emotions.

But he wasn't able to look at Quinlan for long. Standing next to the taller Jedi Knight was Obi-Wan, his arm thrown over Master Vos' shoulders for support. Anakin saw the blood on his Master's robes, the makeshift bandage bound tightly around Obi-Wan's right arm, already soaked with red, the sleeve of his tunic torn away.

My fault.

Anakin reached out along their training bond, trying to touch Obi-Wan's mind, to see if his Master was all right as he claimed.

But his questing thoughts met only emptiness. The absence made him stagger backwards, until Luminara caught him again and bore him up. The training bond was gone. Obi-Wan had broken their bond. It was something that should have been dissolved two years ago, on the day that Anakin had become a Knight, but Obi-Wan had wanted to keep it, to remain close to Anakin. United in mind as well as in body.

Now Obi-Wan wouldn't even look at him.

"Master – " he began haltingly, forcing the syllables past the tears that bound his throat.

"The Council is expecting us." Obi-Wan broke in swiftly, raising tired eyes. They passed over Anakin blankly, as though he wasn't standing there, to settle on Master Luminara. "We must be swift."

----

Anakin sat numbly on his bed, staring fixedly at his hands, lying limp on his lap. The mattress was uncomfortable, new… different. Just like the room itself – sterile, lacking any indications of his personality. Jedi were forbidden possessions, of course, but after thirteen years of living in one room, a Force-signature became imprinted on everyday objects.

These rooms were completely empty of his personality, which was jarring enough, but the even more glaring absence was that of Obi-Wan's signature. His new apartments were devoid of even that vaguely comforting glow.

New apartments. A new room in a different wing of the Temple. It was the wing for young Knights who had no attachments; those with no Padawan, no partner, and no soul mate.

The Council meeting could have been worse, Anakin supposed. After all, he hadn't been expelled from the Jedi Order. That was about the only thing that had gone in his favour.

Mace had wanted to kick him out right away, of course, had thundered and growled and bitched on and on about the Dark Side and the Sith, until Obi-Wan had quietly interrupted him.

Anakin closed his eyes tightly; pressing his palms over his face at the memory of that Council meeting, the insistence in his Master's cultured voice.

"It was Anakin who alerted me to the invasion Force, Mace. He's the one who discovered that Palpatine is the Sith Lord, Sidious."

And those calculating dark eyes turned his way, appraising him, filtering through his thoughts. Anakin was too weak to bother throwing up his shields to protect himself from the invasion. He was barely strong enough to keep standing at Obi-Wan's shoulder, wanting instead to collapse onto the floor of the Council Chambers and fade into oblivion.

He was just so damn tired of it all.

"We all felt the ripples in the Force, Master Kenobi. We felt Skywalker's turn."

"Whatever may have transpired between Anakin and Palpatine, I assure you, he is not a Sith." Obi-Wan countered softly, looking to Yoda, who nodded slowly, in silence.

"He nearly killed himself trying to rescue Obi-Wan. The kid saved his life. I've never seen anyone fight like that before." Quinlan added gruffly, his eyes fixed on Master Windu.

Anakin was only dimly aware that they were talking about him, deciding his fate. He couldn't bring himself to return the approving smile that Quinlan shot in his direction. He couldn't do anything more than stare desperately at Obi-Wan, silently begging his Master to turn and just acknowledge him. A word, a smile, a touch…even if it was nothing more than a glower, it would be enough. Because it would be something

"Pushed back the shadow in his mind, young Skywalker has. Proved himself worthy of his rank, he has. But discuss this now, we must not. More important things at stake, there are."

"Agreed. If Palpatine really is the Sith we've been looking for, then we have to strike now."

When Obi-Wan had insisted on leading the team against Palpatine, Anakin had finally collapsed, one hand clenching at his heart as the dragon of fear screamed inside of him. An endless mantra: no no no no no! He had felt Luminara's hands on him, trying to soothe him with the Force, but he had shielded her attempts easily, the sole focus of his attention the silent Jedi Master who still would not look at him!

"Obi-Wan, please, don't…don't –"

"It's Master Kenobi, if you would," his Master had replied sharply, eyes sliding blindly over Anakin to rest on Luminara for a moment, "and what I do is no concern of yours."

And everything had crumbled.

Anakin could feel it. He could feel the cloud of aggression and hatred and determination that was billowing out from the Senatorial Apartments. If he listened to the whispers of the Force, he could detect the hum and clash of lightsabres colliding, the increased pulses of the combatants. The concentration, the focus.

Force keep him safe. He breathed the prayer into the undulating web of energy, feeling the first tears slip from beneath his closed eyelids. Even if he doesn't love me, doesn't want me, doesn't need me, keep him safe.

With that final thought, Anakin sagged backwards onto his new mattress in his new room, and quietly cried himself to sleep.

---

You knew the angst had to hit eventually, didn't you? This is an Xtine fic after all. Fear not, I've been sworn to a happy ending. haha.

Cheerio,

XtP