Wild-filly: Ah yes… sorry about the update slump (sheepish grin). Was attending my uncle's wedding, got shipped out to Hong Kong for a holiday and was also outrageously sick with flu (sickest I've ever been to be honest) for ages… what can I say? Oh yeah, that and I was terminally lazy with all of my writing and drawing projects (embarrassed grin).

Many thanks to everyone who reviewed – your comments and kind words make it all worthwhile! Thanks go to JapanAnimeGirl, Tora Macaw, hiddenwindmill, nobody, Andrea, YamiKitsuneKami, Hatake-Kakashi x3, Naditz, Matt and T.K., kimpster, MicrosoftWord, Teh non-confuzzled one (thanks for the offer of dinner rolls – I certainly do feel loved now (grin)) and Hanariko!

Disclaimer: Don't own, so don't sue. MORE SPOILERS AHEAD! (coughs) Sorry about the shouting – I know that most people skip over this part, so I have to make I obvious (grins)

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Okumen Gokurakuchou: Chapter 23

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Kakashi still didn't know what to make of life. Everything had somehow fallen into place. The feeling of almost dazed contentment made everything else seem distant and irrelevant to his being. The days seemed to tick past lazily, with Kurotaka seldom far from his side. A cynical little voice in the back of his head told him that his infatuation would not continue like this forever, but it was being beaten up by the delighted chorus of other miscellaneous voices that were clamouring in Kakashi's head. For the first time since before his father's death he felt truly happy. He was with someone who loved him dearly and who wanted to spend the rest of her life with him.

"Kakashi! Where the hell is my hairbrush? If I find silver hair on it again there'll be trouble, I promise you!"

Ah yes, it was so nice to be with someone so loving, benevolent and compassionate.

"Try behind the dresser, you probably knocked it off the last time you threw your hair pins contemptuously at my reflection in the mirror".

The tousled head of Yumenimo Kurotaka emerged from the tiny kitchen space of Kakashi's miniscule flat, now looking somewhat worse for wear now that Kuro was temporarily crashing here. Miss Shiro had made it very obvious that Kakashi's presence was about as popular as a plague of silver-haired locusts back at Kurotaka's lodgings, so she had taken to staying over at his place, since the security was much more lax. The only problem with this otherwise pleasant situation? Cabin fever.

"I can't stand this! How can I lose something in a home the size of a cupboard?"

"Special kind of talent?" Kakashi suggested weakly, dodging the pair of socks that came flying his way in response. He was getting better at this living with Kuro business. And her aim was improving as a result. It seemed to be serving as additional Shinobi training as well as being gratifying to their now grudgingly recognised affections for each other. Well, Kakashi wasn't so grudging. In Kurotaka's case however, this idea of showing affection for someone consistently appeared to be a rather difficult task for her to pull off. Kakashi wasn't too offended. It kept life interesting.

From where she was now rifling through a pile of newly-ironed clothing, still on the quest for the illusive brush, Kurotaka's muffled voice caught Kakashi's sleepy attention. "So when are we to report for a new mission? Did the Hokage tell you when you should come back to him?"

"No, he didn't". He didn't want to put a date on mourning, mused Kakashi. "I guess I'll just turn up when you do. If there were anything urgent then we'd have been summoned any way".

"You're pretty lax towards this whole multi-nations war thing aren't you, Kakashi?"

"Only on my days off. I'm not paid to be worried then". Kurotaka's snort was cut off by a triumphant shriek. "Found it!"

"And just what was it doing in my left shoe?" queried Kakashi, perplexed. Kurotaka shrugged. "It must have been some hit to get it to fly off that far" she commented cheerfully, seemingly forgetting that she had launched said hit at Kakashi's visage in the first place. Ah well. The love was there. Somewhere. At least she'd recovered the spiky item before he'd attempted to place his foot inside the aforementioned black ANBU boot. Combing through her hair absentmindedly, Kuro turned to him. "In that case, do you fancy going for a walk to the training grounds? It'd be good idea to get back into serious training before being sent on a mission".

"Hai, I suppose". Inwardly Kakashi sighed. He still had a lot of getting used to ahead of him, as far as his new eye went. Kurotaka had been telling him everything she knew about the usage and logistics of the actual pupil, but listening and acting were two very different things. Hauling himself off the bed, which served as an island in a sea of take-away boxes and misplaced items belonging to both parties, Kakashi recovered his footwear and leapt nimbly over to the bare space of floor beside the door. Kurotaka hopped gingerly beside him. "Open the door would you? I don't want to balance on one foot for longer than is truly necessary".

"But of course. I shall open the door at once, your Majesty".

"Then do it. It's nice to see that you have the situation thoroughly comprehended at last".

Damn it. It was supposed to be him teasing her; not the other way around.

……………………

Opening the Sharingan eye was like opening the lid on a bottle and upending it; Kakashi's Chakra seemed to spill and swirl uselessly, flooding away from him every second that the pupil was exposed. He hated the sensation. There was no control involved at all and it left him feeling exhausted after every session. Sinking to one knee, breath coming in heaving gasps, he glared blearily at Kurotaka who stood nonchalantly before him.

"You are getting better you know" she coaxed. "It's an odd feeling to get used to, but eventually you'll learn to regulate your Chakra flow better and control the eye's usage. It'll be harder for you because you're not one of the Clan. The fact that you weren't the one who awakened the eye in the first place also makes it harder".

"I know. You keep saying". Teeth gritted, Kakashi dragged himself back onto his feet and stood shakily before the Uchiha Kunoichi. She stared coolly back at him. "I keep saying, Kakashi-kun, because you look like you need the reassurance that it isn't your fault that you're so drained".

It was true; he did feel foolish. After only half an hour of exercises – anticipating Kurotaka's attacks and countering them using only the Sharingan eye, he felt as though he'd been running for days. Every muscle shook and that treacherous eye of his flickered, as though hungry for yet more power to feed on, sucked greedily from his body. What made it worse was to see Kuro use the eye herself and effortlessly counter any attack that he put forward; keeping her pupils bloody even when he was forced to cover his eye to take a rest. Kakashi was used to being a genius; a talented Shinobi to whom new concepts and moves came easily. Now he was feeling like a moron; clumsy and without restriction, training or energy. It was not a pleasant feeling for one who is used to being the best.

"Don't give up now", she demanded, stalking over to where he was crouched. "If you don't push yourself until you literally have nothing left, then you'll never learn how to stop it from taking you that far".

"So what you're saying", muttered Kakashi, air weighing more heavily in his lungs than usual, "is that if I work myself to the ground each time, I'll eventually learn to avoid the ground?" At her nod, he closed his eyes. Which sadistic person designed that crude logic? He sighed and rose slowly to his feet, opening both eyes determinedly. If that was how it was to be, then so be it. He could take a few more strikes, he could calculate that much from his current status, but after that he risked losing consciousness. Not ideal. The Uchiha blood that Kuro had given him simply wasn't enough to allow him the same level of control that she had.

All it meant was that if he used the eye, he had to use it quickly and to his best advantage. For now.

Sliding into the cat stance, Kakashi let his breath slow, relaxing through his upper body and attempting to quell the weariness that came with Chakra drainage. He had to conserve energy if this next move were to work. Kurotaka frowned, stance lowering slowly, her muscles rippling as though water under her skin, blessed with a natural fluidity of movement. Then she sprang. Kakashi felt his bloody eye spark into action. She was coming in from the left, a mawashigeri jodan aiming right for his head. He dodged nimbly under it, rising to counter with an elbow strike, but she too read his move and leapt easily to one side. He moved in again, feinting left and then charging straight for her. She leapt again, sending a barrage of shuriken flying towards him. Katana instantly drawn, he deflected those that he could not dodge and sprang after her.

Blood pounded in his head, roaring in his ears as he continued this leaping, dodging dance of attack and counter-attack. Kakashi was already adept at anticipating moves, but the eye was giving him an even greater scope. The slightest twitch of a muscle and the pupil saw it. His own reflexes seemed to boil and writhe with speed that they had never known before. It was exhilarating. Exhausting, but the thrill of the chase was intoxicating. A new fire was racing through his veins, fatigue pushed to one side. His leg rose, arching into a hook-kick, when Kurotaka's eyes seemed to flare anew. Chakra flooded to her hands and she thrust them towards his incoming leg. Hastily he redirected his kick, swerving just out of the way as a strike that would have temporarily crippled him shot towards him.

Both Shinobi skidded to a halt, breath heaving. Kakashi felt the tiredness that he had been ignoring come swirling down around him, blinking back the darkness that clawed at his vision. He eyed Kurotaka appraisingly. "It's time to use proper techniques now?"

She grinned, combing back a white-tipped bang from her forehead. "Indeed. Much better Kakashi. We can start learning how to mimic attacks once you can stand up straight".

"I thought I was…" Kakashi trailed off. He hadn't noticed one of his legs sinking to the ground without his consent. Hurriedly he pulled his forehead protector over the Sharingan eye. Why hadn't he felt himself slide? Kurotaka ambled over to him, eyes darkening back to their normal blue. She reached down with one arm and hauled him to his feet amiably, not at all surprised when he staggered and threatened to fall over.

"Honestly Kakashi. It's like training with a small child at the moment".

And there went all sense of achievement. He gritted his teeth. "Your flattery will get you nowhere. Just for that, you're paying for lunch".

"Now that's hardly gentlemanly behaviour" commented Kurotaka wryly, as the two began their march across the training field, heading back to the village, Kakashi propped up under one of Kuro's arms. "How could you resign me to such a terrible fate?"

"Because you are having entirely too much fun being the instructor and laughing at my pain".

"You think that was laughing? I'll have you know that I was suppressing my laughter for the good of your feelings. I thought that I was being very considerate".

"Truly? Then why did you tell me this? If you were so set on being considerate, then you should have kept me in ignorance". Each word seemed to take an eternity to say, as exhaustion from combined exertion and Chakra drain took a more poignant hold. Kuro rolled her eyes. "But then you wouldn't appreciate how considerate I was!"

"I give up. Your logic eludes me". Kakashi let his eyes close in mock and true weariness. Her dry chuckle did not escape him though. "Tell me about it. Sometimes even I don't know what to make of my actions".

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The days seemed to drag past, as each training session became more and more gruelling. Kurotaka was indeed a relentless instructor, pushing Kakashi to the point of collapse from Chakra drainage with every lesson. He was improving in leaps and bounds, but he couldn't help but wonder if all this exhaustion and degradation of his health was going to be worth the prize; wielding of the Sharingan's powers.

Despite his great fatigue, sleep came fitfully. His mind was plagued by stray, nagging thoughts of unreal circumstances. Nightmares, perhaps; but more distant and persistent than mere hollow images of fearful imaginings. More than once he had awoken in a cold sweat in the small hours of the morning, mind haggard from the stress of some intangible idea. Kurotaka did not mention his nightly trouble in the mornings, but would turn quietly in her sleep to close her arms protectively around his chest. It was not much, but it was comfort enough to reassure him and allow some semblance of sleep to take hold.

Kakashi couldn't put a name to the cause of his unease, but finally decided that it must come with the awakening of a power that he was never meant to inherit. There were secrets that he still had to unlock regarding the eye. Perhaps these malevolent thoughts were preludes to what may come. That or the stress was just getting to him. He was becoming more enduring, more resistant to the effects of the Sharingan's Chakra drain, but it was a hard-won gain. Hopefully the weapon would prove itself of use on the battlefield; otherwise all of his struggles would have been in vain. Or maybe not.

It was late afternoon. The sunset's blazing amber and dusky pink filled the sky as Kakashi sank to his knees for some offensively high number of times in a row. Kurotaka stood panting before him, her own energies becoming stretched with the number of frequent sessions. Kakashi felt a vague tinge of pleasure at the idea that he was improving enough to make the more experienced Kunoichi break a sweat. With a wide yawn, she slumped down beside him on the grass. "That'll be enough for today I reckon. I'm still pissed off that you could replicate my Chakra prison technique though. I thought that I did it too fast for you to follow!"

"Hai, ideally, yes". Kakashi nodded conspiratorially. "However you forget that I have seen it once already. The second time and the eye just confirmed which seals I had to use in order to activate it". Kurotaka muttered under her breath and sighed irritably. "Fine. I should be proud that my teaching skills are so good, I suppose". Silence enveloped them, broken only by the distant sounds from the village as shops began to close and the night-markets light their lanterns. The white, ghostly form of Kurotaka's pet seagull drifted above the two Shinobi, seated amiably on the short grass of the otherwise empty field. Kakashi felt his one exposed eye close slightly. Life always seemed so much more peaceful after a training session. Kurotaka's back was leaning against his shoulder, as she faced the thick forest surrounding them.

"What do you reckon that Masurao and Gai are doing now?" She queried lazily, one hand combing absent-mindedly through her thick black and white ponytail.

Kakashi blinked. "Still off on their mission, so I couldn't say. I don't reckon that they're on the frontlines though. They aren't experienced enough as Jounin for that". It then occurred to him that he hadn't seen their fellow Jounin for some time. He missed Masurao's company and the small joys that came from tormenting Gai, even though Kurotaka's presence had been enough to satiate his desire for companionship.

Kurotaka yawned. "They should be fine then. They'll probably be sent back soon, and us sent to take their place". She winked at Kakashi cheerfully, "it'll be nice to fight side-by-side again". But there was something else behind her eyes. A concern that Kakashi couldn't miss. She was worried about him. Just as he was worried about her. Fighting alongside someone meant that you were consistently aware of whether or not they were safe. It was a situation that Kakashi had always tried to distance himself from – it was easier to complete a mission if you did not have excessive emotional attachments to your comrades; that way you could press on and succeed in the task which you were assigned to fulfil, rather than languish in sorrow should they fall. Could he fight effectively, knowing that Kurotaka also fought for her life nearby? Could she?

She seemed to follow his train of thought. "We can both stand up for ourselves, Kakashi. It's not that being together makes us any weaker in a fight. If anything, it could work to our advantage". He shook his head. "It's not that. We're both ninja; the battlefield is our natural environment, but I'd rather…" He trailed off as she glared at him. "I am not going to stay safe just so that you don't feel as though you have to keep an eye on me! I am perfectly capable of fighting my own battles, if anything it's you that I'm worried about! You haven't complete mastery of the Sharingan and if…" This time it was she who was cut off, as Kakashi pivoted and drew her close to him, his face lowered to fit in the groove of her neck and collarbone.

"It's a stupid thought. I know. Don't be hurt by it. I don't want to worry you". His voice was soft, expression unreadable. Kurotaka's lower lip quivered, but she bit it and entwined her own arms about Kakashi's head. "Don't worry about me. I know you didn't mean it like that". Long fingers filtered through chunks of silver hair, gently massaging Kakashi's temples. He sat perfectly still, unwilling to break their contact despite the fact that his back was killing him in this position. She held him quietly, bringing her lips down to gently kiss his forehead, moving his headband out of the way and holding one hand over the Sharingan eye. Her breath tickled his face, despite the fact that his mask covered the majority of it.

"Kakashi" she murmured, "the battlefield is our home for now. Wait until the war is over before you ask that we quit it". She leant her head on his shoulder, now sitting perfectly level with him.

Kakashi was silent for a moment. "You would leave this with me?"

She looked at his one uncovered eye, expression stern. "You weren't thinking of leaving me after this, were you?"

"Never crossed my mind" he assured her, mind swimming with the implications of what she had said. "But Kuro, you said that we should quit the battlefield. You mean that we both leave this behind? Together?"

"That's what 'we' usually means, Kakashi-kun. Perhaps I hit you a bit too hard earlier…"

He shook his head, dismissing the idea. His brain was inflamed. This kunoichi; one who was both exceptionally beautiful, regardless of the scores that her life as a ninja had added to her body, yet also potentially homicidal; had just said that she would be with him. Time hadn't been specified, nor had anything beyond the fact that she would remain in his company, but he could see something falling into place. Something that he had tentatively contemplated late at night, when darkness flooded the room and all he could hear was the regular rise and fall of Kuro's breathing, synchronised with his own, entwined with his resting body. He wanted something much more than just to be a comrade to her. He wanted a life beyond one on the battlefield, in the shadows or within the ranks of Shinobi.

Kurotaka seemed to be following his startled train of thought, leaning back a little in order to see his full face. She had told him that she was slightly short-sighted, and also informed him that if he told anyone, he'd spend the rest of his life eating his meals through a straw. "If it's not what you want, Kakashi. I am willing to back off. After all, we've only known each other for a few months". She stopped at the look in Kakashi's one exposed eye.

"No Kuro, you don't have to do that". He hesitated. He should probably tell her now. Tell her the real answer to a question that she had asked him some time ago now. Perhaps then she would understand how much her closeness truly meant to him. It had to be worth the effort, even if the initial glare that she would give him for lying to her would be rather painful. "I want to tell you something. Something that should make a few things easier for you to understand". She blinked, hands sliding onto his shoulders and resting there. "Go ahead". Her face was wrought with curiosity, traced with a bit of apprehension.

"I'm sorry, but I lied to you earlier when I said that my family had died defending Konoha". There it was – the little flicker of hurt that always flitted through Kurotaka's face before she would replace it with a glare. A particularly good one as well. "It wasn't a direct lie, but I didn't feel comfortable talking about it with you just then". There, she seemed to accept that, eyebrows arched quizzically but dark blue eyes softer. She didn't say anything, but nodded encouragingly.

His eyes lowered, drawing a slightly haggard breath. There was a lot of pain involved with remembering how his father passed away, but he knew that she had to understand this. "Kuro, I never really knew my mother. She died when I was very young, too young to remember much more than the most basic of images and sensations. Warm arms, sweet perfume, but no more. My father raised me entirely by himself, even with all of his duties as a ninja". Kuro looked a little surprised, but still refrained from saying anything.

"My father and I had a lot in common, not to be immodest. He was a genius Shinobi, referred to as Konoha's White Fang and was held in high regard throughout the village. However, he was to fall from grace when he set out on an important mission with a couple of comrades". Kakashi paused, bitterness mixing with a confused mess of sorrow and anger in his throat. Blinking stubbornly, he ignored the awkward sensation and continued.

"The mission was dangerous. There came a point in the course of it where my father had to make a choice – to abandon the mission and save the life of his comrades, or continue and let them perish. Finally he chose to preserve their lives and neglected his charge. The mission failed, but their lives were safe. Back at the village though, my father fell into disgrace for his actions; damned even by the people whom he had saved". Now her safe was taut with horror, eyes overbright. She was a quick one, and already sympathetic to Kakashi's cause. He almost felt guilty about telling her this; making her feel such pain on his behalf. He had carried it himself for so long – it wasn't as if he couldn't keep carrying it. There wasn't any more need to make her hurt than there was.

"Everything just went downhill from there" he deadpanned. "Father began to neglect his body, his health and mind. He had been rejected by all that he had worked so hard all of his life to defend. At last the pain became too much for him. I returned home from the Academy to find his body on the floor, dead by his own hand and earlier negligence. I have lived on my own ever since". There. She knew it all now. Masurao and Akiraka had been the ones to drag him through that time; as his classmates they couldn't help but see his painful struggle to continue with life, so they had stuck by him and helped him out. Their efforts had been appreciated more than they knew, but still hadn't been enough to erase the scars that the hideous images had left. The slow process of humiliated despair, his father's emaciated, contorted body bloodless on the floor, ruined in a puddle of his own life energy. The helplessness; his inability to prevent it. The guilt, the shame, the hate. He couldn't look her in the eye, facing to the left of her, head held high defiantly. Silver hair spilled over his pupil, rendering his vision blurry, but there was no mistaking the pained expression on Kurotaka's face.

She made no attempt to look him in the eye, hands withdrawn and clenched in her lap; she looked down and breathed slowly. He hadn't any words to give her, nor did she know what to say; temporarily speechless. The freezing wind caught both of them, chilling to the bone but not enough to make them move. Grasses disturbed by the breeze danced violently; their rustling the only immediate sound close to either of the Shinobi.

"Kakashi" she spoke at last, head slowly raising to catch his eye. Reluctantly he turned to look at her. He disliked the guilt that she was now feeling; his pain had rubbed off on her and he was ashamed of himself for sharing it. Why on earth had he chosen to open such an old wound? Perhaps such things are better left alone, regardless of how important they might be. "Yes, Kuro?"

"I think I see the reason why you told me this. Two reasons even". Her voice was slow, rich with emotion, but controlled. Blue eyes level with his own single black, she regarded him calmly. "Your solitude for so much of your life has stemmed from the fact that you have not only lost one who cared for you, but that you fear to repeat his actions and in turn suffer from the same fate. I am right?" He nodded once, tightly. It wasn't easy to admit his own failings.

She didn't seem to notice his pride conflicting with his response. "As a result, you fear to enter a situation that could force you to make the same choice as your father; you're afraid to choose my safety over a mission, only to be rejected by both Konoha and myself. But there's more than that…" Her voice lowered as she leant towards him, cool pale hands closing over his own, enclosed in fingerless gloves. Eyes locked on his almost predatorily, forcing him to give her his full attention, rather than persisting with his inner self-damning. "Despite all of this, despite everything you know that could happen; everything that would make your life miserable; you are still willing to go through with it, just so that you won't be alone any more".

He was frozen, unable to trust himself to speak. What could she think of him, knowing this? Her expression was hard, emotions blocked from entering into her face. It was impossible to know what she was thinking, beyond that which she murmured.

"Kakashi?" A question in her voice forced him to open his mouth. "Hai?"

For some reason, she now seemed to be the one who was uncomfortable to speak, mouth opened slightly but no words issuing from it. Perplexed, Kakashi reached up and lowered his mask. It would be easier to talk to a full face, despite the fact that he still kept one eye clamped shut. Kurotaka drew a noisy breath as though steeling herself. Hesitantly, she glanced over her shoulder and then back at Kakashi, no longer so sure of herself. "Would you…I mean…" Now he was stunned. Kuro; stuttering? Such a thing did not happen to one so self-absorbed with her own abilities! He couldn't help but stare incredulously.

"…I…how to say it…" Frustration took over and she glared at him out of habit. "Stop looking at me like that! This is…a question I'm going to ask only once". Kakashi could barely take the risk to breathe, desperate not to break the spell of her concentration, the courage that she was mustering to speak these words. Gently though, he squeezed her hands; brave enough to offer her that little encouragement. She sighed and reluctantly spoke again.

"Kakashi, do you want me to stay with you? Permanently?"

Slowly, carefully, so as not to startle, embarrass or possibly enrage her, Kakashi disentangled his hands from hers and rose them to her face, hands gently cupping her cheeks, flushed a pale red. He stared affectionately at her. There was something unmistakably cute about her when she was uncertain, even though it happened so rarely. It was quite nice to witness an expression other than thinly-veiled or completely unveiled contempt. "Kurotaka. I would want nothing more than that, ever".

If possible, the blush that had budded rosily on her cheeks flushed even darker, but something like pride was tinged in her eyes. A smile tugged at her lips. She let her hands rise to meet his, fingers then straying to stroke his forehead, brushing back the silver forelock. "Very well, Kakashi-kun. I shall stay. And let me remind you that this will not be easy on either of us".

"Oh I don't know about that" he replied flippantly. "I reckon that after the first year, if I can dodge the majority of your tantrums, then I should be in good stead to continue breathing for the rest of the time to follow". She grinned at him "that sounds like a challenge". With that, she let her fingers knot themselves behind his head, dragging him down to meet her. He went willingly, meeting her lips with all of the gentleness that he could muster, teeth slowly trailing over her lower lip. His hands moved to her back, drawing her nearer, locked protectively into his chest. Her body fitted imperfectly against his, but that didn't matter. The kiss was brief, exchanged rather for an embrace, enjoying the sensation of closeness with each other more than anything else. Kakashi let his head rest on hers, inhaling the fruity scent of her shampoo, mixed with the more natural, oddly appealing smell that was Kurotaka herself. Her hair swam all through his vision, strands of black occasionally interrupted by a white stain; a bleached rejection of her Uchiha heritage.

The warmth of her form, held in his possessive caress as they partially sat, partially lay in the thankfully empty training field, girt by the shadowed woods and darkening sky, streaked with the sunset's tropical orange and pink. Kakashi felt his eyes close with a sense of peace. This was a moment that he intended to hold close for all of the time that he had left. Kuro seemed to have no intention of moving any time soon, face buried into his chest, one arm wrapped around his chest and the other hidden in a handful of his shirt. The regular rise and fall of her breathing had a soothing, near soporific effect. He had never felt so contented, so relieved and full of joy in his life.

Now all he had to do was make sure that it stayed that way.

………..

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