Barely able to sleep because his mind was racing with things he had to do, Danny got up after being in bed for only for a few hours. As he dressed, he watched Katie sleep peacefully. He knew he's been short with her, when she'd only been trying to help, but he really didn't know what more she could have done to help him. Just seeing her there when he got home helped him enough. Shaking his head, Danny realized he should have told her that when they'd talked earlier.
His first stop was to pick up Sylvia. He hadn't expected Nicky to be awake, but he was. So he sat next to Sylvia as she bravely tried to explain to Nicky what happened to his father. He had a hard time understanding that Rafael probably wouldn't be coming home, but Danny assured him that he'd do whatever he could to get him out soon. Danny knew that after the shock wore off, Nicky would probably feel resentment toward his father,so he vowed to do whatever he could to make Nicky understand that his father was just very sick and needed help more than anything. Danny knew from experience, however, that that explanation wasn't always enough.
After they'd talked to Nicky, Danny took Sylvia to the courthouse where Raffi was being arraigned. It took over an hour, but he finally convinced the detective to let Sylvia see him before his arraignment. He looked on in amazement as they tearfully greeted each other before stepping out to give them some privacy.
Danny's next task was to instruct the assigned public defender on how to plea Raffi's case. He hadn't had time to find Raffi a decent lawyer so he told the green public defender to file a continuance when he entered a plea of not guilty. Hopefully, that would give Danny enough time to find a good attorney. He still wasn't sure how he was going to afford a good attorney, but he pushed that to the back of his mind.
When the arraignment ended, Sylvia gave Raffi one final hug and Danny gave him a supportive glance before he watched them lead him away in handcuffs.
Finally, he took Sylvia home and then headed back to his apartment to start cold calling every good defense attorney he knew. Wearily making his way up the stairs, he sighed heavily upon seeing Tom Mason at his front door.
"I don't think Katie is here, Mr. Mason." Danny knew this because she'd left him a message earlier 'telling him that, if he needed her, he'd find her working from her apartment
"I know. I was looking for you," Mr. Mason replied.
Closing his eyes, Danny raked his hand over his two-day old stubble. "I'm sorry, but now isn't a good time—"
"I know. I know that you are dealing with your brother's latest legal issues. That's why I'm here."
Danny couldn't help but let out dry laugh. "Yeah? That's why you're here? I'm sure you're loving this – finally some more proof that your daughter is too good to be with someone like me, right?" he asked sarcastically. "You know what? Right now, I could give a rat's ass what you think of my family or me. So just save it. I have a lot of work to do," he said as he moved past Mr. Mason and put his key in the door.
As Danny opened the door, Mr. Mason pleaded, "You're wrong. I'm not here because of anything like that. My God, Danny, Katie's mother is serving a year sentence at a mental facility for attempted murder and I just got out after serving a six-month sentence for covering it up. I don't think I'm in any kind of position to judge anyone."
Standing in his doorway, Danny shrugged. "Then why the hell are you here?"
"I saw Katie yesterday right after she spoke to you. She was very upset. This morning, I made a few calls and found out what the charges were against your brother. And then I contacted my lawyer to see—"
Rolling his eyes, Danny backed up into his apartment. "You've got to be kidding me. Now you want to help me? You're going to have to excuse me for being a bit skeptical, Mr. Mason. Every time you've 'helped' me, there have always been massive strings attached and I never had any choice in the matter," he said, accentuating the word 'helped' with air quotes. "Let's take a walk down memory lane – shall we? First there was, 'I'll get you kicked out of school and take away your college scholarship if you ever go near my daughter again'. Then there was, 'I'll give a place to live if you do whatever you can to stop her efforts from seeing you' And finally—and this is my favorite—you offered me a hundred grand to break up her wedding so then you could turn around and tell her that I could be bought. Did I get all of them? There were so many strings, it's hard to keep track." He collapsed onto the sofa as he rubbed his eyes—the fatigue of the last two days catching up to him and causing him to launch into the tirade.
"That was over ten years ago. I realize now how destructive my actions were. All of my efforts back then cost me my daughter's love and trust. Now that I have her back in my life, I won't do anything to screw it up."
"Fine. Don't screw it up, but leave me out of it. I don't need your help and neither does my brother."
"How can you be so arrogant? I bet if I called your brother and made this offer directly to him, he wouldn't hesitate to take it. I know a thing or two about putting together a good legal defense. Hell, I've done it twice in the last year alone. The kind of defense I can buy for your brother, a three-time offender, will be the difference between him doing two years or twelve. The kind of defense I can buy is the difference between Riker's and some county facility where he actually might be able to get some help."
Seeing the genuine look of concern and remorse Mr. Mason's eyes, Danny's wall started to crumble. "How do I know that I can trust you? How do I know you won't pull the rug out from under us when you lose interest or if you decide, once again, that you don't want me with Katie?"
Taking a seat in the chair across from Danny, Mr. Mason looked down at his hands. "I finally have my daughter back. When I saw her after she got home last weekend, I was overwhelmed with the look in her eyes. I know that is thanks in large part to you. You could have kept her here, but you set her free. That's a lesson I had to learn the hard way," he said quietly as he still didn't make eye contact. "I never hated you, Danny. In some strange way, I kind of admired your resilience, but I thought I was doing what was best for her at the time."
"I don't know," Danny replied quietly still not sure.
Reaching into his breast pocket, Mr. Mason pulled out a card and handed it to Danny. "This is the number for Walter Miller. He's—"
"I know who he is," Danny said taking the card, recognizing the name to be the senior partner of one the best law firms in Manhattan.
"Call him. Don't call him. It's up to you. But if you like what he has to say, he'll put one of his best associates on your brother's case."
"I can't afford this," he responded in almost a whisper as he read the card.
"I know you can't. I'm more than happy to cover it, but if you still don't trust me or if your pride won't let you take the money, then feel free to think of it as a loan. We can even draw up a legal agreement so you'll feel more comfortable that I won't be able to pull the 'rug out from under you'," Mr. Mason said as he stood up from the chair and headed for the door.
Danny followed and called out before Mr. Mason could shut the door. "Thank you," he said hesitantly. "I'll…I'll give Mr. Miller a call right now," he said as he held out his hand.
Mr. Mason firmly shook his hand. "Hang in there. I know it looks bad now, but Walter will do whatever he can. Give Katie my love."
"I will," Danny said quietly before closing the door and letting out a deep breath.
XXX
Danny spent much of the afternoon on the phone with the associate in Walter Miller's law firm who was going to handle Raffi's case. The attorney was guarded but optimistic that he could work out some kind of deal.
When he finally got off the phone with the lawyer, he called Katie, but she wasn't home. He left her a message saying that he'd stop by later that evening. Before he could see her, he knew he had to get to a meeting. He'd been running on adrenaline since getting the call from Sylvia after Raffi called her. Now that he was coming down, thoughts of drinking were swirling in his head.
After taking the short subway ride to the community center, Danny walked into the meeting just as it was getting started. It was the difficult times like these that made him realize how comforting the meetings could be. He felt like his internal clock was being reset so now he'd be on time again, instead of running behind like he had been for the last two days. He was so focused on the meeting that he didn't notice the person who sat down next to him until he felt a nudge in his side. When he looked over, Ray gave him a knowing glance.
After the meeting adjourned, the majority of the group gravitated toward the refreshment table, but they didn't make a move to get up from their seats.
"I'm sorry about yesterday, man. I went with my son's class on this field trip and forgot to turn on my cell phone."
"It's okay. I got through it," Danny replied quietly, eyes still fixed straight ahead.
"How's Rafael?"
Shaking his head, Danny shrugged. "I found him strung out. He wanted to kill himself."
"So what happened to you yesterday?"
"I had an overwhelming urge to give up looking for him and find the nearest bar. I wanted to forget about everything. I wanted to forget that the closer I got to him, the more I felt like him."
"What did you do when you couldn't get hold of me?"
"I called Viv. I just needed to talk a few things out, and she just listened. Of course, now I feel crappy for bothering her – she's sick at home with a heart condition."
"I'm sure she didn't mind," Ray responded as he stared straight ahead as well. "Did you talk to Katie about it?"
For the first time since Ray walked in, Danny glanced over at him. "About wanting to drink?"
"Yeah. Did you think about turning to her?"
"No. Not really, but I was glad to see her at my place when I finally got home."
"Look, you know you can talk to me anytime. And I'm sure Vivian feels the same way. We care about you. But if you are going to be in a relationship with this woman, then you can't hide this part of your life," he said looking around the room.
"I'm not hiding it, Ray. Katie knows all too well about my problem. I just knew that if I went to her yesterday, she'd want to fix things. She'd want to make it better, and I didn't need anyone to make it better. I just needed—"
"You needed someone to listen."
"Yeah," he replied quietly.
"You told me once that she was the one person who you told everything to. You told me that she knows more about you than anyone else."
"That was a long time ago. Things have changed. I don't want to scare her away. And I think if she would have if she had seen me yesterday…I almost lost it a few times."
"I don't know her, but I think she deserves a little more credit than that. You have a nasty habit of pushing people away when they get too close. Don't use this thing with your brother as an excuse to ruin the best thing that has ever happened to you. You're going to need her to get through this. And Danny, she needs to be a part of this," Ray said as he looked around the room. "She needs to be a part of your recovery, if she's going to be in your life."
"You know I really hate it when you start making sense, man."
"It doesn't happen often, but when it does – watch out."
Danny laughed for the first time since he could remember, and then he quickly went somber again. "Do you think…do you think if I had been there for Raffi this past year that this wouldn't have happened?"
"You know the answer to that better than anyone. You can't beat yourself up about this, Danny."
Nodding, Danny rose from his chair. "I'm going to go to daily meetings for a while, until I get my head right again."
"That's a good idea. Just call me, and I'll meet you here anytime."
"Thanks, Ray," he said as he walked out the door.
XXX
More tired than he could remember, Danny quickly made his way down the busy sidewalk. Before turning the corner, he stopped at a street kiosk and picked out the best of the wilted roses in the display. Then he made his way to the quaint brownstone apartment building. Instead of using his key, he knocked on the door.
Opening the door, Katie smiled when she saw him and it was the best feeling he'd had all day.
"Hi, I didn't expect you so soon," she said opening the door wider to let him in.
Bending down, Danny gave her a long, lingering kiss. "Is it possible that I haven't kissed you in over two days? That's almost criminal," he said in a low voice before brushing the rose against her cheek. "This is for you."
Katie couldn't help but let out little giggle. She hadn't expected Danny to be like this. Taking the rose, she leaned up to kiss him again as she ran her across his cheek, which had gone from two-day stubble to almost a beard. "Thank you," she whispered. "But…um…are you okay?"
"I will be," he said taking her hand and leading her to your couch. "Where is your roommate?"
"Still visiting her family in LA. She won't be back here full-time until the summer term starts," Katie replied. "So how…how did things go today?"
"As well as can be expected, I guess," he said and then put his arm around her shoulder and pulled her to him. "I'm sorry."
Frowning, Katie laid her head on his chest. "Why on earth are you sorry?"
"I shouldn't have shut down on you like that yesterday. When I walked in last night and saw you sleeping on the couch, just knowing you were there meant so much to me."
"I'll always be here…no matter what."
"I know," Danny replied quietly. "I've known that since I was seventeen years old."
He held her for a few minutes in silence, and then he began to the recount the last two days' events to her. After he told her everything, she pulled him up and led him into her bedroom. He fell asleep almost instantly with his head nestled against her neck and her body so close to his that it was as if they were connected.
XXX
Two weeks passed as Danny quickly fell back into his routine. The only difference was that much of his free time was now spent dealing with Sylvia, Nicky, and Raffi's legal defense. Katie helped him as much as she could, but their schedules limited the amount of time they could spend together. Because of work and other commitments, they'd spent almost three days without seeing each other. So Danny was thankful when he got home very late from working on a case on Friday night to find her asleep in his bed. Getting in to bed, he had to resist the urge to wake her up.
The next morning, she wasn't as considerate when she woke him up at the crack of dawn.
"What the hell?" he said as he squinted against the light she'd just turned on. "It's Saturday, right? Why are you turning on the light at 6 am on Saturday morning?"
Hopping on the bed, Katie straddled his stomach and leaned down to kiss him. "Good morning to you, too."
He kissed her back enthusiastically before pulling away. "If this is what you want, then we didn't need to turn the light on, baby."
Katie laughed as she pulled away from him. "We don't have time for that. You have to get to Javits by 9, and I thought you'd want some time to prepare before you head out, and of course, you need to eat a healthy breakfast," she said pointing to the small meal she'd prepared and set on the nightstand.
Completely confused, Danny looked at the breakfast and then back up at her. "Javits? What—"
"The bar exam is this morning. I happened to see it on your calendar yesterday so I decided to stay the night last night to make sure you remembered."
"You're crazy. I can't take the bar exam this morning. I haven't looked at a book or a study guide in weeks. I'll fail it for real this time," he said in a sleep-filled voice and rubbed his hand over his face.
"Danny, you've been studying for a year – every Saturday for a year. How prepared do you need to be?"
"More prepared than I've been the last two weeks. I can't go in to that test today after not thinking about it in weeks. Besides that, now isn't the time for me to do this, not with everything going on with Raffi," he said in a very negative tone.
"I can't believe that I am hearing this from Danny Taylor. The Danny Taylor who practically forced me to go an ocean away to fulfill my dream. What kind of girlfriend would I be if I didn't do the same thing for you? If I may paraphrasea very wise, but hardheaded man, 'I love you so much that I want you to take this test.'"
"That's not the same thing."
"It's completely the same thing. Why are you fighting this?" she asked wearily.
"Because…because," he stuttered before pausing to move her off of him and sit on the edge of the bed. "I don't think I could handle failing right now."
Katie didn't respond for a few moments as she watched Danny go from being incredibly confident to extremely insecure within a matter of seconds. Instead, she carefully thought out what she wanted to say next. "You wouldn't be failing if you take the test. Failing would be not taking it all. I know lawyers who've taken the bar three times to pass it, Danny. I've never seen you not try something. I've never seen you give up on anything. Don't start now," she said as she leaned into in his bare back and kissed his shoulder.
Shaking his head, he responded. "You're not going to let me get out of this, are you?"
"Did you let me get out of going to Oxford?" she whispered in his ear.
XXX
Danny took the test and then he had good-natured arguments with her about how awful he did on it. After going back and forth about it all weekend, they decided to stop talking about it until the results came in six to eight weeks.
Early Monday morning, they found themselves making love before their busy weeks started. Katie was spending more and more time at Danny's now. Baby Madison had adopted a healthier sleeping pattern, which made it very hard to ever leave his apartment at the end of a night. Waking up together was their favorite thing to do. As Danny held her, they watched the sun rise through his bedroom window.
"I'm thinking you should take the day off," Katie said quietly.
"You think?"
"Yep. I start classes next week. We won't have many mornings like these when that happens."
"Mmmm. I wish I could," he said as he trailed kisses down her neck and shoulder. "Since Viv has been out, there hasn't been much opportunity to take days off."
"Is she still scheduled for surgery today?"
"As far as I know," he replied with a hint of fear in his voice.
"I'm sure the surgery will go well, and she'll be back at work soon."
"I hope so."
"Will you see her today?"
Shaking his head, he said, "Probably not. She asked us not to come down. She just wants her husband there. I can understand that, and I'm not sure I want to see her like that – hooked up to all those machines."
"Maybe tomorrow when she is feeling better."
"Yeah. Maybe," he whispered.
Then they fell into a comfortable silence, neither one wanting to get up to start their days. The silence was abruptly interrupted by the sound of Danny's cell phone.
Reaching over Katie to grab his phone from the nightstand, he answered, "Taylor."
"Morning. It's Sam," she said in an agitated tone.
"Did you wake up on the wrong side of the bed?" Danny asked in a sarcastic tone.
"No, I just wish we'd get these calls after I've had my coffee."
"That hardly ever happens, my friend. What've we got?"
"A missing data analyst, Paige Hobson. Jack and Martin are interviewing her co-workers. That's where she was last seen. Can you meet me at her apartment? We need to interview her roommate. It's 2025 105th.
"Got it. I'll be there in a half hour," he said before hanging up the phone.
"You're co-workers really know how to ruin a moment," Katie stated, disappointedly.
"Tell me about it," he replied as he stood up and headed into the bathroom.
After he finished in the bathroom, he came out and noticed that Katie had fallen back asleep. He dressed quickly and then leaned down to kiss her forehead. Lately, he'd had the weight of the world on his shoulders with the trouble with his brother, worrying about Sylvia and Nicky, and now being scared to death that he would lose Viv. Looking at Katie, he realized he could face just about anything with her in his life.
A/N: I know this kind of sounds like an ending, but if you watched Season 3, you probably know that it's just the beginning. Thanks for reading and reviewing. As always, thanks to Mariel for the help.
