A/N: Well... uh... This is odd. It was inspired by a picture I found on le internet. Cupped hands. Very yes. Okay, so it has spoilers for SH3. Except it's not exactly what happens in this particular ending; I changed some stuff to fit the idea of the story. One-shot. Possibly some slight OOC. 'nuff said.
Hands
by
HHH
It's hard enough to admit what you don't hold in your hands. And she's trying to make me think there's less than nothing there. And I'm not supposed to know who I am, but I do remember. I'm no longer a child. When I was, these hands were smaller, and easier to fill. Now they are large and heavy with sadness, cupped and poised to be filled. They won't hold there for long, with the weight of what she wants me to believe...
She calls me Allessa, and I remember this girl. She is me, but I am not her. We are seperate, the two of us, in one body. Two souls melding into one another, and then floating out again. I have the incling that we can never, and will never be one. It is one or the other, and even though she's just a girl, she is so much stronger than me. And she understands what's at stake. That's the only reason she lets me dominate this body. I can't quite pinpoint the exact moment in time when I first knew what I was. I know it was before I came here. I knew, but I never really understood until now.
And now this woman is standing in front of me, telling me that I am to birth a god. It's insane, just like everything else in this world. I'm here for a reason though. I wonder for a brief moment if this is my purpose, if I am the downfall of humanity. You're not, she says. I can hear her voice in my heart, Allessa's soul speaking to mine. This is not your purpose. This was not my true purpose, but I had no control over it. Stand, Heather.
I stand up, and it begins to make sense. I thought I knew everything before, thought I understood. But you never really understand, do you? No, I guess not. The pain is still there, but I'm fighting it. I reach for my necklace.
Never lose it.
Do you see now?
I see.
I swallow the little red tablet, and the pain bursts again in my stomach. I keel over, falling back to my hands and knees on the dirty floor of the desecrated church. something is happening inside me, something out of my control. This is it, Allessa is starting to sound crazy, huh, starting, This is where it all ends. Nothing... nothing can stop it. They were foolish to think... so foolish to think that they could go against Her, and not be punished. Sobs are racking my body, and I am shivering, and I recognise this feeling; trying to dispell something vile from my body. It's working. Claudia doesn't like it.
"You bitch! What are you doing! Allessa! Stop! STOP IT NOW" She is screaming at my prone form as I heave into stagnant air scented with a metallic tang. "You are killing your son! You are killing God"
Finally the thing comes out of me, small and red and I can't believe that it is actually as evil as it is. I stare at it for a moment, shocked to know that it was even in me to begin with. I slowly reach out for the thing. Allessa says nothing. I pick it up, and cup it in my hands. I silently come to a realization as Claudia's screams echo around me. It's hard enough to admit what you don't hold in your hands. And for all that fills them, these hands might as well be empty. Cupped and poised to fall, I let them drift to my sides, emptying them. She little red fetus drops to the floor and with a small splat is lifeless. And it was always this simple. All the many facets of life, you could never even begin to hold in just two hands.
