Wander over Yonder Season 3-31

"The name is Sir Brad Starlight! I am a supreme hero of the highest caliber! The galaxies across the universe utter my name in great reverence and exhaltation. Especially after I defeated Dominator and put an end to that Doom Moon single-handedly without anyone's help. Yes, that's right. I'm that amazing! And if anyone tells you otherwise, they're a big, stupid liar with a dumb face and they're envious of my accomplishments! They're probably ugly too so they're jealous of my chiseled good looks! They wish they had a perfect chin like mine!"

"Hey! Buddy! You okay?" asked the customer, a tall and imposing man with heavy jewelry hanging off his neck, standing across a restaurant counter from Brad Starlight. "I'm waiting for my order."

"Wha-? Oh, oh right! Your order" Brad Starlight was quick to say.

"Here you go sir" Brad's cousin Chad Starlight says handing the customer a brown bag. "Please come again!"

"Thank you! Nice to know some still take their menial, degrading jobs seriously. Hahaha!" the customer says before leaving.

"Now you may be wondering what I'm doing here working at a fast food joint. I'm actually undercover... to... do a thing... To investigate an evil spirit that-"

"We're raising money for your motorcycle" Chad chimes in. "You totaled it."

"What? Were you listening to my inner monologue!?" Brad asks irritated. "You know I hate that!"

"You were talking out loud again" Chad says punching in a customer's order.

"That doesn't mean you can listen in" Brad counters. "And I didn't total my steed, that car got in front of it! Not the other way around!"

"The car was parked" Chad points out. "You drove into it or something."

"Uh, duh! Parked in front of me when it could have been parked anywhere else!" Brad says. "It was their fault, not mine!"

"Someone unleashed a pile of chunks in the bathroom" the annoyed restaurant manager growls shoving a mop into Brad's hands.

"Wasn't me!" Brad defends.

"Never said it was" the manager replies. "Just stop slacking off and get to cleaning!"

"That's the restaurant manager and he's stupid and ugly, the opposite of me."

"What'd you say!?" the manager demands angrily.

"I said I'm cleaning!" Brad says rushing into the restroom. "Eww! Gross!" he whines before reluctantly mopping up a mess.

"Hey. Did you hear?" someone in a bathroom stall suddenly spoke up.

Brad looks around before asking "you talking to me?"

"Yeah. Wander and Dominator are heading this way! Can you believe it?"

"Wander? Dominator? Heading this way?" Brad asks. "What could they possibly want?"

"Well I hear the two are dating so maybe they're coming on vacation?"

"Dating? Those two cannot be dating!" Brad responds.

"It's all over the intergalactic tabloids" the stranger says sliding a gossip magazine out from the stall.

"Th-this is just not possible!" Brad objects after reviewing the magazine. "Her with him? He's so short and she's so tall!"

"I dunno. Photos show them all cozy together" the stranger reinforces.

"Thank you for the information random stranger. Also, ewww!" Brad lets out dropping the magazine.

"You're welcome and now that I have your attention, I think the toilet's clogged. I've been kind of scared of leaving the stall. Feel kind of guilty even though I shouldn't since it wasn't me. It was clogged when I got in, I swear."

Brad stands there for a moment.

"...Chad!" Brad calls out suddenly.

-=episode title=-

THE BRIEF HERO

-=episode title=-

"Another day, another dollar" Chad declares once he and his cousin Brad were done working. "So Brad, what are you up to the rest of the day?" Chad asks while both waited at a bus stop bench.

"You tell me first" Brad asks while looking skywards, a leg up on the bus stop bench. He was trying his best to look heroic.

"Well I was just gonna go home and play some video games" Chad reveals. "What about you?"

"Can you believe Wander and Dominator are dating?" Brad asks.

"I heard. Amazing that the little orange fella could get himself a woman like Dominator" Chad says. "She's sort of scary though. Sounds almost too good to be true."

"Too good to be true is right!" Brad agrees. "Something's not right and I'm going to get to the bottom of it."

"I don't know, I think they look sorta cute" Chad says browsing his phone.

"Don't be a fool, Chad!" Brad implores as the bus arrives. "Dominator must be up to something! Poor Wander is too stupid to realize he's being duped. He's but a simple court jester after all. And where is his steed at this time? Is she not aware Wander is being misled?"

"His steed? You mean Sylvia?" Chad asks.

"Who cares what her name is?" Brad says. "The point is I must get to the bottom of things or else my name is not BRAD STARLIGHT!"

"Sit down Brad!" the bus driver yells. "I'm getting fed up with your antics!"

Brad quickly has a seat.

"So what's up? You gonna try to save Wander or something?" Chad whispers.

"Ha! Actually, I care little for what happens to that orange jester. What I'm really after is Dominator's armor! With those two distracting each other, I should be able to nab that suit of armor she wears" Brad schemes. "With it, I'll become the greatest knight in the galaxy!.. Not that I'm not already great or anything but every bit helps."

As Brad conspired, Wander and Dominator had stationed their mini-Domship, a smaller version of the Domship sometimes used for local trips, at a nearby beach parking lot. Shortly after, the two could be found strolling through the beach holding hands, Wander in swim trunks and Dominator in a light summer dress, summer hat, and beach sunglasses.

"This spot looks good" Wander declares.

"Claiming" Dominator says planting a giant umbrella into the sand.

"And arranging" Wander says spreading out a giant beach towel he pulls out from his hat. He also pulls out a giant cooler.

"The beach breeze is excellent today!" Dominator praises, her dress swaying in the wind.

"And this sun is so gentle and warm" Wander says enjoying the sun's rays before Dominator tosses him a tube of sunscreen.

"I could use a bit of help" Dominator says.

"Help? Of course I'll help! Just let me know what you need" Wander says ready to lend a hand.

Dominator, with a swift motion, grabs the bottom of her dress and sheds it to reveal a two-piece orange bikini.

"Help me cover up" Dominator says turning her back to Wander and getting on her knees. "It's not easy for me to reach my back you know" she says undoing the back of her bikini top.

Wander stands in place stunned by Dominator's tantalizing figure. In his stupor, he squeezes the bottle in his hand squirting a string of ointment across Dominator's back.

"Sorry!" Wander exclaims embarrassed.

"For what? That's certainly one way to get sunscreen on me" Dominator says with a giggle.

Wander approaches and begins to spread the sunscreen about Dominator's back.

"Oh~! Wander~" Dominator purrs. "Your hands are so strong yet so soft~!"

"Thank you" Wander says rigidly.

From bushes in the distance, a pair of binoculars poke out.

"There they are" Brad Starlight says looking through the binoculars. "But I see no armor."

"Of course not. She keeps it hidden or something" Chad contributes before pulling out a camera and snapping pictures.

"What's with the camera?"

"Pictures of Dominator and Wander fetch a fortune from gossip publications" Chad says.

"Wow. Good thinking" Brad says. "Now if only we could locate her armor. Where might those two be staying?" Brad asks surveying the many beach resorts looking over the beach.

"Oh, that's easy" Chad says showing a website called "WanDom Watch" on his phone. Chad proceeds to pull up paparazzi pics of Wander and Dominator exiting a hotel named 'Golden Sands'. "I'm telling you, these two are talk of the town!"

"Well done once again Chad!" Brad praises. "You're a good enough sidekick!"

"Thanks I guess" Chad says shrugging.

Both Brad and Chad dash towards Golden Sands nearby and enter.

"Okay Chad. Now we seek their room. I'll start from room one and work my way up" Brad plans. "You start from room 5000 and work your way down. We rendezvous at room 2500. Alright! Go!"

Chad makes to speak but Brad had already started with room one.

"Dominator's armor?" Brad says opening up room one. "Nope. Empty. Dominator's armor?" Brad says opening up room two.

"AAAaaaah!" a woman screams.

"Nope. Some lady. Dominator's armor?" Brad says opening up room three. A fist flies out from room three to punch Brad away. "Mnopfe. A pfainpul fizt" Brad says with swollen face while collapsed on the hotel hall floor.

"Room 1875. That's their room" Chad reveals showing pictures of Wander and Dominator exiting said room.

"WanDom Watch?" Brad asks and Chad nods. "Wow! What an incredibly useful and disturbingly intrusive website" Brad praises. "Okay then. Let's go!"

As Brad and Chad set off, Wander and Dominator were enjoying a volleyball game playing against two humanoid lifeguards.

"That one's yours Dee!" Wander says.

"Got it!" Dominator calls out before hitting the volleyball back towards the opposing side of the volleyball net.

The female lifeguard bumps the ball up her male teammate who then spikes it. The ball hits the sandy beach below.

"Oh! Almost had it!" Wander laments after diving for the ball which bounces and rolls away. "Not to worry. I'll get it."

"Hey, you two are pretty good" Dominator compliments as Wander chases down the ball.

"You two are good yourselves" the female lifeguard returns.

The ball comes to a stop when someone plants their foot on it. Looking up, Wander beholds a tall and imposing man who was smiling broadly, his hair flowing in the wind, muscles glistening in the sun, heavy jewelry hanging off his neck.

"Pardon me sir, you seem to have planted your foot atop my ball" Wander speaks up gently while trying to lift the ball up.

"Ahahaha! Of course I have little orange one" the man says lifting the ball up himself. "Now step aside little orange one. I must return this ball to a lovely green goddess. She beckons!" he says as Dominator, sensing trouble, approaches.

"Who are you supposed to be?" Dominator questions the newcomer firmly.

"Hello, my name is Kenders" Kenders introduces himself taking Dominator's hand and kissing the back of it. "I believe I have retrieved your ball."

"Indeed you have" Dominator says accepting the ball. "Isn't that nice of you? Wander, wasn't that nice?"

"That was nice indeed!" Wander compliments.

"Ahahaha! Thank you little orange one. You can be quiet now" Kenders directs at Wander before turning back to Dominator. "Playing ball is nice and all but I've got a better idea for a good time: why don't you come over to my place. I've rented out the room of rooms back at 'The Royal Palace'."

"Did you just say The Royal Palace? As in THE Royal Palace?" Dominator almost gasps.

"That's right" Kenders confirms with a toothy grin.

"I do NOT believe you. You MUST prove it" Dominator asks.

"Proof's right here" Kenders says producing a key with a 'The Royal Palace' tag attached.

"Oh my Grop! It's legit" Dominator says impressed.

"Right this way" Kenders says pointing towards a long and luxurious limo.

"Please lead the way" Dominator says wrapping an arm around Kenders's bicep.

As both leave, Wander spots Dominator crossing her fingers behind her back. Taking the hint, Wander is quick to say farewell to the two lifeguards before tailing Dominator and Kenders. Upon arriving at the limo, Kenders opens up a rear door for Dominator to enter only for Dominator to then blast Kenders with magma encasing him in rock.

"Wh-what!? What's going on!?" Kenders almost gasps.

"Just booking a room in The Royal Palace is all" Dominator explains presenting Kenders's room key.

"My key!" Kenders exclaims.

"No! MY key now you pretentious clown!" Dominator corrects aggressively before shutting Kenders's mouth shut with ice. She then tosses him into the back of the limo before turning to Wander who was hiding behind a tree. "Wander, I just upgraded our room. Let's go check it out!"

"O-okay" Wander says as both climb into the limo. "I feel a little bad for our friend here though" Wander says looking towards Kenders.

"Don't feel bad. Guy was a jerk" Dominator says relaxing in the limo. She then creates a wall of magma to isolate Kenders from the rest of the limo interior. "Driver! You'll take us to The Royal Palace if you know what's good for you."

"You're the boss" the chauffeur shrugs.

As Wander and Dominator ride the limo, Brad is hard at work searching through Dominator and Wander's previous modest room at The Golden Sands.

"Aww, that was cute~!" Chad says checking up on WanDom Watch. "Dominator just stood up for Wander."

"Chad! Put the phone away and help me out here!" Brad says looking under the bed. "I'm not seeing Dominator's armor anywhere!"

"Did you try the closet?" Chad asks.

"Of course I tried the closet" Brad says cracking open the closet, "and that's how I found it!" he adds spotting Dominator's suit of armor.

"Awesome stuff" Chad celebrates as Brad equipped the armor starting with the armor's torso but unable to fit the helmet on.

"Well? How do I look?" Brad asks striking a heroic pose in Dominator's armor. "Awesome! I know!" Brad says before Chad could answer. "Well it's been swell Chad but I'm off to be heroic! Save the day! Get tons and tons of fans, heaps of cash, and lots of ladies all waiting to smooch with me! You know what they say: it never hurts to help... yourself!"

"Cool! Can I like try the armor on?" Chad suddenly asks.

"Aaaahahahahahaha! Silly Chad! You always crack me up. This armor is for heroes, not nerdy, spectacled losers" Brad says simply. "You've done your part, now just go off to watch your cartoons or write your fanfics or whatever it is nerdy losers do. Ahahahaha!.. Anyways, I'm off!"

Brad extends both arms towards the door but he fails to fly.

"Soo... I'm off!" Brad attempts again.

Brad still stays put.

"...Why am I not flying!?" Brad whines stomping feet and flailing hands childishly.

"Hmm, maybe you need to climb up high before flying I guess?" Chad suggests.

"You might be right. Let's go!" Brad says starting for the roof of the hotel. Chad is not far behind.

Meanwhile, Wander and Dominator enter their new room in The Royal Palace.

"This" Dominator begins.

"Place" Wander continues.

"Looks" Dominator adds.

"Amazing!" Wander exclaims.

Kenders's hotel room was luxurious: 2400 square common distance units of pure decadence. A heated pool, king-sized bed with an extensive selection of pillows and blankets, a private movie theater equipped with surround sound, bathroom with marble and gold fixtures, mini-bar and a robot butler to tend to all their needs. Most impressive of all was the fact that the room offered an excellent view of the city with a long and spacious balcony for anyone to lounge in.

"Kenders, this is a heck of a room you booked us. You are soo generous!" Dominator compliments pulling the bound Kenders along.

"Why are you doing this?" Kenders asks the green villainess.

"You mess with Wander, you mess with me" Dominator responds as Wander runs out to the balcony to have a look. "And I LOVE payback!" she growls with sinister grin before tossing Kenders into a closet and closing the door.

"Hiya robot butler!" Wander greets after having a seat at the mini-bar.

"Greetings Wander" the robot greets back as Dominator sits next to Wander.

"Whatcha having?" Dominator asks Wander.

"Let's see what's on the menu" Wander says opening up a neat booklet. "What would you like, Dee?" he asks browsing the booklet alongside Dominator.

"I'll have what you're having. We can share, right?"

"Oh~" Wander giggles. "When you share, you care!"

Back with Brad and Chad, Brad in Dominator's armor was standing haphazardly at the edge of a tall building and readying a leap. Chad was standing back to watch.

"Behold citizens! Your new hero has arrived!" Brad announces to the indifferent population below. "Now feast your eyes as I conquer the skies!"

Brad leaps off and like a lead balloon, he heads straight down.

"Wh-WHY AM I NOT FLYING!?" Brad screams. "CHAAAAAAAA-" he bellows above him angrily before hitting the pavement below. Seconds later, he climbs out of the armor-shaped hole, his face bruised and bloodied after the helmetless armor only protected everything else.

"So did you fly?" Chad asks walking up to the wanna-be hero largely distracted by his phone.

"No it didn't work!" Brad complains to his cousin.

"Hehehe! How cute! They're sharing a smoothie" Chad mumbles.

"What are you looking at!?" Brad demands to know. "WanDom Watch!?"

"Yeah, people all over the galaxy are watching this" Chad reveals. "Those two are such a cute couple!"

"What!?" Brad gasps looking at pedestrians walking about also distracted by WanDom Watch. "Watching that tripe instead of my hero origin story!?"

"A lot of people like romance" Chad explains.

"Romance!?" Brad gasps loudly. "Nonsense! People are waiting in anticipation for someone to rescue that little orange jester! Obviously."

"...So it'll be you?"

"So it shall be me!" Brad declares heroically.

"But Dominator's there" Chad points out.

"And what threat could she be? I'm the one with the armor! I'm the knight! Should be a cake walk" Brad says proudly. "You lead the way!" he adds grabbing Chad and pushing him along.

Back in The Royal Palace, Wander was readying the hot tub.

"Hot tub!" Wander celebrates hopping in feet first.

"Believe it or not, I've never been in a hot tub before" Dominator says.

"Hop in. Water's great!" Wander invites.

"...Wow! This is really relaxing my muscles" Dominator praises upon entry. "This is almost perfect" she says submerging herself up to the neck.

"Almost perfect?" Wander asks.

"A little smooching would be the cherry on top."

Wander giggles before saying "as you wish..."

The two lock lips.

"...How was that?"

"Good for now. Gonna want more later" Dominator says lifting up a remote to lower a wide screen television from the ceiling. "You like action movies?"

"They can be fun, sure" Wander answers.

"Let's see what this hotel has to offer then" Dominator says browsing the television catalogue.

"Some of these movies are still in theaters" Wander notices. "They're really expensive!"

"Who cares? We're not paying" Dominator shrugs.

"Action Man 8! In 3d!" the television broadcasts as 3d glasses were lowered from the ceiling.

"Everything is 3d nowadays. How annoying" Dominator says receiving the glasses.

"Could be neat" Wander responds securing the glasses to his face.

"In a world-" the television emits before a massive explosion explodes the television away alongside the wall behind it.

"Unhand that little court jester you lime green temptress!" Brad Starlight demands standing where the television used to be.

"Okay, this 3d actually looks good" Dominator says impressed. "...Hey, wait. That's my armor!"

"Brad Starlight!" Wander exclaims lowering his glasses.

"Who?" Dominator asks taking off her glasses.

"Ooh, you did not just say that!" Brad condemns. "Not that it matters. Your days are numbered Dominator!"

"Get out of my armor you dork!" Dominator demands.

"Your armor? This armor is mine now!" Brad declares triumphantly. "And either you surrender and I go easy on you or we combat, a fight you have no hope of winning. Your choice!"

Dominator looks at Brad with disgust.

"W-4-N-D-3-R" Dominator says simply.

"What?" Brad asks.

At once, Dominator's suit begins to move on its own.

"Wh-what's going on!?" Brad asks.

The suit's arms grab hold of Brad's head and quickly pull him out.

"Oww!" Brad lets out as he's tossed to the floor. "M-my armor!" he says noticing he was exposed now. "Uh-oh! O-okay, let's not do anything hasty now" Brad says with Dominator standing over him menacingly. "No wait!"

Blasted with ice, Brad is frozen solid from the neck down. He is then tossed into the closet beside Kenders.

"Hey, you're that fast food joint worker guy" Kenders says. "Haha! What a loser!"

Dominator shuts the door.

"Well that was over before it even started" Dominator says underwhelmed.

"Dee, you're amazing!" Wander says hugging Dominator.

"I know. Let's just disinfect my armor and we can get back to the hot tub" Dominator says.

"Disinfectant ready!" Wander says pulling out spray bottle and wipes out of his hat.

As both disinfected, Chad Starlight was hidden nearby sneaking away thankful he would not be sharing the same fate as Brad or Kenders.