Notes: This may be my last chapter for a little while. I need to get inspired again.
Turning around quickly, Katie tossed the test in Danny's direction. "You can breathe now. It's negative," she said, right before walking out of the bathroom. As quickly as she could, she pulled out a pair of jeans and a sweatshirt from her drawer in Danny's dresser. As he walked out of the bathroom, Katie was putting the clothes on over the tank top and boxers she'd worn to bed.
"What are you doing?" he asked in a slightly exasperated tone.
"I'm leaving," she said as she stuffed a few things in her purse.
"Don't leave. We should talk about this. It didn't occur to me that you would want this now."
Turning to him, she rolled her eyes. "You know for a smart guy, sometimes you can be so dim. I'm crazy about you. I've known I've wanted to be with for almost half my life. I'm thirty years old, and it didn't occur to you to think that I'd want to be pregnant? God, Danny, I told you I did only a few weeks ago."
"I know that, but I didn't think you meant right now. We aren't married. We aren't even technically living together. It's too soon."
"Yeah. That came in loud and clear a few minutes ago, when you looked like your world was ending. But what worries me is what you would have done if it had been positive," she said, before turning to walk out the door.
Following her out to the living room, he caught up to her in a few long strides. Taking hold of her arm, he gently spun her around before she could open the front door. "If it had been positive, then I would have been fine with it. But I'm not going to lie to you and say I'm not relieved that it was negative."
"Thanks for your honesty. Now let me go. I can't talk about this right now."
"Let me explain—" he started, but then was interrupted by the ring of his cell phone. Rolling his eyes, he grabbed the phone from his belt clip and answered, "Taylor."
It was Vivian. She needed him to get to a crime scene right away. They had a possible identification on one of their cold cases. As he closed his phone, Katie shrugged out of his grasp.
"You better go. It sounds important," she said, sounding almost relieved to not have to hear his explanation.
"We'll talk later. I promise," Danny whispered as he leaned in to kiss her forehead before walking out the door.
XXX
"You should have seen his face," Katie said as she pulled her knees up to her chest and sat back on the couch. She'd returned to her apartment and was pouring her heart out to her roommate, Camille.
After handing Katie a cup of coffee, Camille took a seat next to her. "I'm sure he would have been fine if it had been positive. He was just momentarily freaked out. That's not an unusual reaction for a guy."
"I know. I just thought he would have been more supportive, you know? It's Danny, for God's sake."
"You wanted it to be positive, didn't you?" Camille asked.
"Honestly, in that moment, I did. I mean, at first, I was a little freaked, too, but when I saw that it was negative, I was really sad. I guess I wanted Danny to be sad, too. But after the way he reacted, I know that he was just relieved."
"Are you sure he wants kids?" Camille asked. "Some men don't."
Glancing up at Camille, Katie shrugged. "I thought so. He likes kids. He's crazy about his niece and nephew. But after this morning, who knows?"
XXX
That afternoon, Katie had dismissed her class ten minutes early. She'd been in no mood to lecture on the romantic symbolism in Pride and Prejudice. Sitting down at the desk in front of the room, she rubbed her temples to try and rid herself of the headache she'd had for most of the day. Suddenly, she heard a desk chair squeak. Opening her eyes, she saw Danny sitting directly in front her.
"You know I always hated these lecture hall desks in college. No leg room," he said quietly, clearly trying to gauge if she was still angry.
"What are you doing here in the middle of the day?" Katie asked. "What happened to your case?"
"We found our guy, but he was already dead. We were too late," he replied in a disappointed tone.
Nodding, Katie said, "I'm sorry."
"Thanks," he responded quietly. And then they both stared at each other for a few moments, not sure what to say next. After taking a deep breath, Danny finally continued, "You shouldn't have tried to run away this morning. Weren't you the one who told me we needed to talk about things and not keep things in?"
"I was angry, and I didn't think there was anything you could say in that moment to explain why you were acting like a cold bastard."
Smirking, Danny ran a hand over his chin. He'd never seen Katie quite like this before. "There are reasons why I had that reaction—"
"I know why you reacted that way," she interrupted. "You're not sure if you want kids. You're happy with the way things are. We have this very comfortable life and you don't want to mess with that. I get it. I either have to adjust to it or—"
"Where did all of that come from?" he cut her off in a confused tone. "This is why you should have let me talk to you this morning. You had all day to invent all of that. Now I have to deprogram you," he said with a slightly sarcastic smile.
"Don't even try to make a joke out of this, Danny. I'm not in the mood. If I've really invented it, and it's not true, then please enlighten me on why you acted like an insensitive jerk this morning."
"Because it was a surprise," he said emphatically, "and it was also bad timing. Yesterday, we spent the better part of the day looking for a little girl who'd been forced into a child pornography ring. Her parents died when she was five or six, and her uncle took custody of her. He's the one who did that to her. She was still a baby. And she's lived like that for years. It makes me question whether I want to bring a child into this kind of world. The stuff I see in my job, the stuff I went through as a kid – is that any kind of life for an innocent child? That's what I started thinking about the minute you said you were late."
Sighing deeply, Katie rubbed her eyes. "That wouldn't happen to our child."
"How can you be so sure? What if something happens to us? Hell, on an even more basic level, what if I started to drink again? I would never want you or our child to go through that."
"Danny-"
"Don't say it can't happen, because it can," he said simply.
"I'm willing to take the risk. I have faith that we will be able to protect our child and that you will be okay. I can't imagine the things you have to see in your job. It's hard enough to read about those things in the newspaper, but knowing all of that – I still would never sacrifice the opportunity to bring a life we create into this world. Isn't that what life is all about?" she asked quietly. When he didn't respond, she stood and walked towards him as she folded her arms across her chest. "Maybe I'm the one who needs to deprogram you."
"You really wanted it to be positive, didn't you?" he asked, looking up at her.
"I don't know," she answered, shaking her head. "I did feel sad when I saw that it was negative. I know that it isn't the right time and it's not what we'd planned, but I need to know that it's still something I can hope for in the not-too-distant future. Otherwise…" she trailed off as she looked down at her feet.
Standing, Danny slid his arms around her waist and pulled her close. "It's something we'll both hope for. I do want kids, especially with you. I just wasn't expecting to have one so soon. But I promise we're headed in that direction. And I'm sorry that I was an insensitive jerk and a cold bastard," he said as he leaned down and gave her a soft kiss. "Forgive me?"
Nodding, Katie looked up into his dark, puppy-dog eyes. She couldn't imagine ever being able to look into those eyes and not forgive him.
Note to reviewers: Based on feedback, it sounds like most wanted Katie to be pregnant. Allow me to explain my rationale for not going in that direction: In order to continue this fic, I really need it to be as parallel with the show as possible. Otherwise, I'll have trouble weaving this story with the actual episodes in the show. See I think it's possible that Danny would have a girlfriend that doesn't get mentioned in the actual show because he's fairly private and they tend to not talk about their personal lives during work hours. But I don't think it would be possible for Danny to have a pregnant girlfriend without hearing about her on the actual show. I'm fairly certain that Danny would marry her right away, which would then make it difficult for me to keep the fic true to the actual episodes. And I've already written Danny as a father in An Unexpected Love and HappyEnding Interrupted, so I feel like I've already done that kind of story. I like building the chapters around what is happening in the actual show. That keeps me interested in what I'm writing. Hope I didn't disappoint anyone too much.
