She was a wealthy heiress named Rubella e Vil and to many, she seemed a lot like Queen Entozoa in both appearance and temperament. She had a large collection of stuffed wildlife decorating various corners and walls within her boastful and luxurious, mansion-shaped spaceship and as of late, she had gained an affinity for fur coats and was wearing a leopard's skin when instructing two mighty, broad-chested, well-armored warriors on their mission.
"The Flower Deer! Oh what a beautiful creature! What lovely fur!" Rubella e Vil monologued fondling her treasured leopard skin. "If only I'd have known them sooner in my long life. I'd have so many skins collected and carcasses stuffed, I'd have driven them to extinction! EEehehehehehe!" she cackled grossly.
"Yes, your cruelness" the two fiercely-armored warriors kneeling before her in her throne room voice simultaneously.
"And it appears Walter has failed me. Pathetic!" Rubella condemned. "I trust you two, the greatest hunters that ever lived, as advertised, will NOT fail me?"
"We will not fail, your cruelness" both armored warriors promise.
"Go~od... Now be gone and return with what I desire! Track down the Flower Deer that little orange cretin and his ilk have made off with and bring them to me! They must be added to my collection!" Rubella almost bellows. "Succeed and I shall make you both wealthy beyond your wildest dreams!"
"Yes your cruelness."
"Failure is NOT an option! I have bequeathed you with the most impressive armors my money can buy! You cannot lose! You will not lose!" Rubella asserted. "Just don't let it go to your heads."
"We will not lose!" both warriors reinforce.
"Go~od... Now go! Bring me my future coats to be!" Rubella orders and her warriors depart.
Rubella's two mighty agents came in two colors, red and blue, and were impressively armored from head to toe in strong metal alloys. The armaments hidden in that same armor were also a force to be reckoned with: lasers that could cut through plenty, rockets that could shatter solid rock, and shields that could withstand the force of a nuke.
"We look so cool!" the red warrior remarks examining himself after entering the docking bay in Rubella's main ship. Inside, they approach a loaned ship, a spear-shaped, magenta-colored ship named 'Rocket Rubella'.
"And our interstellar steed is equally impressive!" the blue warrior adds. "Mega thrusters capable of reaching faster-than-light speed! Hydrogen-powered bombs that can reduce giant asteroids to the tiniest of pebbles!"
"We need a test drive! We gotta do a test drive!" the red warrior insists.
"I agree and I know just the place" Blue replies before Rocket Rubella carries them to a bucket-shaped building. "The Salty Space Spitoon! The roughest, toughest villain club ever to be built in this corner of the galaxy! Only the toughest, roughest to ever grace the galaxy are allowed to enter this vile place!"
"The Salty Space Spitoon..." Red reads. "Why does that sound familiar?"
"Just your imagination. We're going in!" Blue declares.
Walking shoulder to shoulder, armored heads held high, the red and blue warriors struck imposing figures.
"Ow!"
Red and Blue walk into the Salty Space Spitoon but not before hitting their armored heads on the top of the doorway.
"As awesome as it is, it's not easy seeing in this armor" Blue admits.
"Keep your cool, keep your cool! Pretend it didn't happen" Red urges.
"Right! Right!"
Walking in, both warriors note the dimly-lit surroundings with shady characters huddled around the many tables. Just as quickly, both turned heads, nefarious eye balls of all shapes, sizes, and colors impressed by the fierce-looking armor protecting the new arrivals.
The blue and red warriors approach the bartender who was tending to two tough-looking warthog bikers at the main counter.
"Hey, give us those seats" Blue demands of the two bikers at the counter.
"Excuse me?" the first of the two bikers questions roughly and then the two get up from their seats.
"You wanna try asking again?" the second asks, both standing twice as tall and twice as wide, their chests and arms bulging with muscles, veins in their warthog faces pulsating with rage.
"Give us your seats" Red now joins in.
"How's about we give you knuckle sandwiches!?" the two warthog bikers threaten cracking their knuckles.
"Hand the sandwiches over too" Red requests.
"Thought you'd never ask" one of the bikers says and both attempt to punch the newcomers only for the armor to prove too hard for naked fists. "AAaaaah!" the two bikers howl in pain after punching such tough armor.
With a simple swing of their fists, Blue and Red send the two bikers flying across the club to crash against a wall.
"Hey! You can't just do that to our bros!" other bikers in the room object getting up from their seats brandishing baseball bats, heavy chains, swords, and glass bottles among other weapons.
The baseball bat comes crashing down on Blue's head only for it to break. The heavy chains are used to whip Red but it proves as effective as a house fly headbutting a rhino. The swords swung at the armor shatter the first time as do the glass bottles. Other biker hoodlums lift heavy chairs and even tables and drop them hard on Blue and Red but the chairs break not even leaving a dent. Some try to lift up the two to toss them but Blue and Red prove too heavy.
"Who the heck are these guys!?" the bikers began to question as their attacks proved fruitless.
"Who are we?" Red and Blue ask simultaneously.
Both raise their hands which begin to glow. They then unleash energy blasts that strike several of the bikers in the room to send them crashing through the walls and out of the club, the club suffering extensive damage in the process.
"The name is" Red began as did Blue before the visors to their armors lift.
"Brad!" Blue reveals.
"Hater!" Red reveals.
"And you can call us-"
-=episode title=-
THE DUO
-=episode title=-
"The Starlight Knights!" Brad Starlight declares.
"The Lords of the Skull!" Lord Hater contradicts.
Brad and Hater both eye each other uneasily.
"Well this is awkward" Brad admits.
"Yeah, especially considering Lords of the Skull is obviously better" Hater boasts.
"No way! Starlight Knights is gallant and heroic!"
Both come face to face, staring each other down growling. They then blast each other with energy blasts causing a massive explosion which destroys what remained of the club around them. Once the smoke and dust had cleared, the two remained seemingly-unscathed while the bartender cowered behind what remained of the front counter.
"Whoa! Did we do that just now?" Hater asks admiring his armor.
"We did! And not a scratch on us!" Brad celebrates. "We are so cool!"
"We're untouchable!" Hater adds.
"Y-you guys gonna cover repair costs?" the bartender asks weakly.
"Repair costs?" Hater and Brad both parrot. They look at each other before wandering away whistling innocently.
"Hey wait, we haven't decided on a name yet!" Brad reminds suddenly.
"We haven't have we?" Hater agrees growling. "But we're both unstoppable so..."
"Rock, paper, scissors?"
"Rock, paper, scissors" Hater agrees and the two compete but this gets nowhere, the two always matching every round.
Then, Rocket Rubella hovers overhead before it emits a giant hologram of Peepers's eyeball.
"Sir! What's taking so long?" the hologram questions impatiently. "We've gotta go retrieve that deer Rubella wanted!"
"I know!" Hater replies, "we were just testing out our new suits!"
"Which are awesome by the way!" Brad chimes in.
"I know but we have a job to do!" Peepers stresses angrily. "Get ready, we're heading for Gardenia!"
"Just a few more minutes!" Hater demands to which Peepers sighs.
"Fine. Make it quick" Peepers says and the hologram disappears.
"Wow. He talks to you like that? Hahaha!" Brad asks mockingly. "Who's in charge? You or him?"
"I'm in charge!" Hater growls. "I'm simply tolerating him for now!"
"Hahahaha! Sure you are" Brad chuckles while inside of Rocket Rubella, not only was Peepers piloting but Chad Starlight, Brad Starlight's shorter and bespectacled cousin, was also serving as co-pilot.
"Whoa! How do you talk to him like that?" Chad questions Peepers.
"Sometimes, you have to take charge or else nothing ever gets done" Peepers answers.
Meanwhile, Wander, Sylvia, Peridot, and Dominator were watching as the Flower Deer they had retrieved from Planet C24762 were released to the surface of Gardenia.
"Gardenia's looking nicer already!" Sylvia praises as both deer begin to frolick about gazing and sniffing curiously.
"Well buddy, you like it?" Wander asks hopping atop the buck's back. The buck does not respond and simply nibbles on grass. "I'll take that as a yes" Wander says before gifting a hug.
"These deer are gonna need names" Dominator points out.
"You're right" Sylvia agrees. "But what?"
"Always the toughest part" Dominator says.
"I was thinking, orange and green, he's like an orange so how's about 'Citrus'?" Wander suggested.
"Citrus. I like it" Sylvia agrees. "Any ideas for the doe?"
"Hmmm" Wander ponders before hopping off of Citrus and hopping up on the doe. "I see this doe, I see her little antlers and their flower buds. I'm just waiting for her flowers to blossom... Blossom! Let's call her Blossom!"
"Most excellent, Lord Wander" Peridot praises.
"How'd you get so good at naming?" Dominator asks.
"I just get lucky, honestly" Wander admits. "Anyone can do what I did. All they gotta do is put their mind to it!"
"Buddy, you're too modest" Sylvia compliments as Citrus and Blossom approach a river to have a drink.
Back in space, Rocket Rubella was some lightyears away.
"One point seven six hours until arrival to Planet Gardenia" Chad Starlight announces from the command room.
"That's almost two hours!" Brad complains from the passenger's area of the ship. "What're we supposed to do 'til then?"
"We could play checkers" Hater suggests.
"Checkers huh?" Brad considers.
"Or you two could ready for the fight against the great Lord Dominator?" Chad chimes in.
"Chad, are you listening in on our conversation?" Brad asks testily.
"M-maybe" Chad admits meekly.
"Well don't! You know I hate that!" Brad demands.
"But we're just one room away" Chad defends. "Kind of hard to not overhear things. Especially when you don't close doors behind you."
"Nah ah ah! Do not talk back to me Chad" Brad disciplines. "You also know I hate that! Just learn to follow orders like a good little underling."
"What orders?" an annoyed Peepers questions under his breath just loud enough for Chad to hear.
"Y-yeah, what orders?" Chad questions.
"Wh-what do you mean what orders!?" Brad asks loudly. "You do as I say when I say it. Those orders" Brad declares before shutting the door to the passenger's area. "And that's how you talk to an underling" Brad tells Hater.
"Not bad. Not bad" Hater praises.
"Thank you. Thank you" Brad accepts.
"You remind me too much of myself" Peepers informs Chad back in the command room.
"I do? In a good way?"
"No, in a bad way!" Peepers condemns. "Don't let Brad step all over you. Sometimes you have to put your foot down for the good of the entire team!"
"Wow!" Chad emits impressed. "I, I'm gonna do it now" he says getting up.
"No, not now. Pick your battles" Peepers instructs. "Right now, let's focus on piloting this ship and getting to Gardenia for deer retrieval."
"You're right. Very right" Chad agrees and the ship flies peacefully quiet for a time.
"Chad! I'm hungry!" Brad complains loudly through the ship's intercom. "Get me food!"
Peepers looks at Chad as if awaiting a reaction.
"...Do we have food on this ship?" Chad asks.
"There's a storage room in here somewhere I'm sure" Peepers answers. "Ask Brad to get it, we're busy piloting."
"Brad, I can't get the food. I'm busy piloting this ship with Peepers" Chad defends through the intercom.
"Hater and I are the fighters and we're busy training. What could be more important than training for the big fight?" Brad counters. "Put the ship on auto-pilot and get me my food! Don't think I don't know about auto-pilot."
Chad does as told: he with Peepers put Rocket Rubella on auto-pilot and then he enters the passenger's room to find Hater and Brad playing a racing video game.
"Y-you guys are playing video games?" Chad asks shocked.
"Yes. It's part of trainig" Brad defends. "And this is not a video game, it's a Battle Simulation: BS for short. And expect for an exciting chase scene to happen when Hater and I fight Dominator. Important to be ready!" Brad says.
"Ha! Got you with my green shell!" Hater celebrates.
"You see? What if Dominator tosses a green shell at us? We have to be ready" Brad explains. "Now feed me!"
Ever-obedient, Chad approaches an adjacent storage closet and finds a large box of Insta-Lunch tubes inside. He makes quick work of distributing tubes to Brad and Hater who consume from the tubes swiftly.
"Bwaaa!" both Hater and Brad spit the food out as quickly as it landed on their tongues.
"Chad! Are you trying to kill me!?" Brad asks angrily. "This is disgusting! You know I have a sensitive palate!"
Chad manages to keep calm even though Brad had just spit out tube food all over his face.
"What would you like to do Brad?" Chad asks calmly wiping himself clean.
"Let's land on a nearby planet and get some actual food" Brad suggests.
"Very much agreed" Hater adds and Chad returns to the command room.
Meanwhile, back at Gardenia, Dominator was wondering something that's been sitting in the back of her mind.
"I wonder if Citrus is the deer that I encountered back then" Dominator admits to Sylvia, Wander, and Peridot.
"There might be a chance" Wander says. "Sadly, Flower Deer are sort of endangered so chances aren't too low."
"Well we can't exactly ask Citrus can we?" Sylvia quips leaning against the sturdily-built Citrus. "We don't exactly speak deer..."
"Peridot, could you please scan Citrus?" Dominator suddenly asks.
"Certainly" Peridot agrees and scans Citrus accordingly.
"We can do that?" Sylvia asks.
"I scanned Wander before" Dominator recalls.
"Ya did?" Wander questions.
"Yeah. Right before Hater destroyed my ship way back when" Dominator reminded.
"Oh yeah! Ya did" Wander acknowledges as Peridot finished up scanning.
"How'd it go? Am I in those memories somewhere?" Dominator asks.
"Memories collected. Analyzing..." Peridot replies.
Wander, Dominator, and Sylvia eagerly await the results.
"...Dominator confirmed in Citrus's memories" Peridot announces before displaying footage of a naked Dominator with water up to her chest petting Citrus.
"Oh my goodness!" Sylvia lets out, hands over her mouth.
"I, I didn't see anything" a red Wander informs alarmed, hands over his eyes.
"What're you guys freaking out about? We're all adults here" Dominator says rolling her eyes. "Especially you Wander. You can look all you want" she says picking Wander up and placing him atop Citrus. "Nice to see ya again by the way" she then directs at Citrus who sniffs loudly.
Back in space, Rocket Rubella was stationed at an eatery named "Roger's Rib and Ramen Restaurant" situated between two planets. Inside, Lord Hater and Brad Starlight were busy stuffing their faces with copious amounts of food.
"The ribs here are excellent!" Brad lauds chewing away at a large rack of ribs. "Flavor bliss!"
"The ramen here is delicious too!" Hater joins in on the praise spooning up soup into his mouth, tiny portions of it leaking out from under his bone jaw and back into his bowl as he ate. "And very generous on the portions!"
Peepers and Chad were sharing the same table and chowing on their own meals.
"When we're done here, can we please get back to the task at hand?" Peepers asks.
"Yeah yeah yeah. Hold your horses there Beepers" Brad waves off.
"It's Peepers" Peepers corrects.
"Let us at least enjoy our hard-earned meals" Hater adds.
"So what are we doing? Getting a cat down from a tree or something?" Brad asks finishing his meal.
"We're fetching a deer" Peepers reminds. "Dominator will be there though so we need you two to be in tip-top shape!"
Hater dabs at his lips with a napkin. "That was good!"
"Most certainly!" Brad praises picking at his teeth.
"Brad, you've got barbecue sauce on your-" Chad informs pointing at his own chin.
"Yeah, I ate barebecue sauce" a carefree Brad responds. "Tell me something I don't know."
"Why do I bother?" Chad asks himself while a restaurant waitress walks up to their table.
"Your bill, gentlemen" she says leaving said bill atop the table before parting. Peepers lifts the bill to read as Hater and Brad begin to whistle innocently while sneaking out of the eatery.
"Why am I not surprised?" Peepers asks himself. He then looks over to Chad who was staring off into space. "This'll all be worth it after we've grabbed that deer for Rubella" Peepers assures himself as he paid the bill.
After paying, Peepers and Chad exit the restaurant and their trek to Gardenia resumes. While Rocket Rubella flew on, a beeping sound is heard and Peepers presses a flashing button on the command room main console.
"What is taking so long!?" Rubella's shrill voice pierces the pressurized air in the command room.
"L-Lady Rubella! Your cruelness!" Brad and Hater both speak up.
"We assure you, we're very nearly arriving at target" Peepers guarantees.
"I tire of waiting! I want my deer coat!" Rubella demands. "Is that barbecue sauce on your chin!?" she screams at Brad.
"Sauce on my chin!?" Brad gasps before looking at a hand mirror and quickly wiping his chin up.
"HURRY UUUUPP!" Rubella shouts before communications end.
"Chad! Why didn't you tell me I had sauce on my chin!?" Brad complains.
"I did tell you" Chad recalls.
"...Well next time, make sure I listen!.." Brad chastises. "So how much longer 'til we get there?"
Peepers examines his monitor on his station.
"Gonna say 15 minutes" Peepers informs.
"15 minutes? That's not so bad" Hater assesses.
"Won't be long now before we're battling villains" Brad says eagerly. "Let's get back to training!"
"We're battling heroes, not villains" Hater corrects standing nearby.
"Lord Dominator is not a hero. Are you nuts!?" Brad counters.
"Just how stupid are you?" Hater questions. "She's hanging out with that eternal do-gooder Wander and friend Sylvia! You can't get more goody goody than that. And you call yourself a hero? We were both trying to destroy Wander that one time" Hater reminds making Brad gasp.
"Okay you two" Peepers attempts, "let's focus on the task at hand" he implores but he's ignored.
"No! It can't be!" Brad objects.
"Oh it is" a smiling Hater confirmed to Brad's dismay. "We're working for a lady who's offering us big money to turn deer into luggage. That is very evil!"
Brad was speechless and looked to be scrambling for excuses.
"...How much money?" Brad asked and Hater pulls the number up on a monitor. "Th-that's a lot of zeroes."
"We're both bad guys, Brad. Love to break it to ya!" Hater enjoyed informing.
Brad's eyes darted around as if conflicted but his eyes turned to money signs the more he looked at the many zeroes.
"Okay, let's do it!" Brad says.
"Excellent!" Peepers approves. "And Gardenia is in view! Touching down in t-minus five!"
"Alright, I will lead the attack!" Hater declares. "Brad, you provide back up."
"What!? You lead?" Brad voices. "No, I'm a natural-born leader! I will lead this attack."
"No you will not!" Hater objects.
"You get so much screentime! Stop being so selfish!" Brad swipes back.
"Screentime? what are you talking about?" Hater questions.
The two eye each other angrily, growling faces pressing.
"Guys, guys. I'm sure we can both lead or all four of us lead?" Chad suggests meekly. "From this ship, we can give you guys updates from above. I think that would be best."
"Don't listen to him, he's never right" Brad waves off. "There's only one way to settle this!" he says cracking his knuckles.
"I'm way ahead of ya!" Hater agrees cracking his own knuckles.
The two proceed to play rock, apper, scissors but like last time, the two always draw the same hand signals.
"This isn't working!" Hater complains. "There's gotta be a better way!"
"There is!" Brad says before punching Hater to send Hater flying across the room. "I win!"
"No you don't!" Hater counters lunging at Brad and the two begin to fight, punching and kicking and blasting each other, at times hitting their ship rocking it violently with every impact.
"Aaah! Knock it off you two!" Peepers shouts but his protest proves fruitless.
Both armored combatants kick, punch, slap, knee, headbutt, and fire lasers at each other as Peepers and Chad try to calm them down. Hater at one point tosses Brad into an important command console.
"Aah! Look what you've done!" Peepers shouts.
"Th-that was flight controls!" Chad contributes. "You damaged flight controls!"
"Yeah? And?" Brad questions before punching Hater in the jaw sending the jaw to the floor.
"It means crash landing!" Chad shouts and before all four could brace for impact, Rocket Rubella crash lands on the surface of Gardenia. The landing is both heard and felt throughout the planet, the ship coming to a stop only after a long time slide atop dirt ground.
After a lengthy recovery, Brad and Hater exit their now-damaged ship.
"We're here" Brad says looking around. Hater beside him also makes to say something but finds himself speechless.
Swarms upon swarms of hundreds, perhaps thousands of Dombots hovered just above Hater and Brad. Observing from not far away were Dominator riding atop Citrus, Wander riding atop Blossom, Sylvia and Peridot riding atop a Knight Dombot. Just behind Wander and the others hovered the Domship herself.
"This is why we need flight controls" Chad lectures as he and Peepers also exit the ship.
"Well one way or another, we're here" Peepers says before looking up. "Well this was fun... BACK IN THE SHIP!" he shouts rushing back in and Chad is quick to heed the order.
Some Dombots begin to approach Hater and Brad.
"Well Lord Hater. Or should I say, LEADER Hater!" Brad says. "I'm sure you got this under control!"
"What are you talking about Brad Starlight! LEADER Brad Starlight!" Hater tosses back.
Both rush their way back into the ship, their bulky armors getting them stuck in the ship entrance temporarily before finally forcing their way back into Rocket Rubella. The damaged Rocket Rubella struggles to lift off the ground but eventually manages to disappear up into the sky.
"What was that about?" Sylvia asks her party.
"Dunno. Nifty-looking armor and ship though. Would've loved taking them on" Dominator compliments. "Let's go Citrus."
"Whenever you're ready Blossom" Wander whispers at his ride which begins a gentle trot.
"Right behind ya guys!" Sylvia exclaims while riding her Knight Dombot.
Back with Hater and cohorts, the damaged Rocket Rubella struggled to fly through space.
"Well that went poorly" Chad remarks.
"What are we gonna do? We have no deer!" Peepers stresses out.
"Calm down Peepers. I think I have an idea" Hater says looking out of a window and at an interstellar dragon-like creature flying nearby. Not long after, they rendezvous with Rubella e Vil in her throne room.
"Your cruelness, we have returned" Brad and Hater greet with a kneel. Behind them stood a great steel box.
"Finally! You have returned to me with my future coats?" Rubella croaked closing in on the box.
"S-something like that" Brad dares. "Behold! Your future dragon skin boots!"
"Dragon skin boots?" Cruella repeats as the box is opened and the dragon, several times her size and mass, delivers a mighty roar. "These are NOT the deer I wanted!" she screams angrily turning back towards her hired goons.
"But look at him" Hater defends. "I'm sure you can transform it into boots!"
"I'm going to transform you two into bird feed!" Rubella shouts.
The dragon then snaps Rubella up into his jaws and begins to chew loudly and crunchily before swallowing her whole.
Hater and Brad look at each other and then at the dragon before starting an innocent whistling and wandering away. The two then rush and beat on Rocket Rubella's door. Chad allows Hater entry but quickly shuts the door on Brad.
"Hey! Let me in!" Brad demands beating on the entrance. "Chaaaaad!"
"We're ready to go" Chad reports at the command room.
"Where's Brad?" Peepers asks.
"He's staring at himself in the mirror somewhere, I'm sure. Anyways Peepers, I think I'm going to start putting my foot down" Chad responds.
"Oh. Good for you!" Peepers lauds.
Rocket Rubella exits the now-devoured Rubella's main ship with Brad hanging on for dear life, the dragon following close behind.
"Let me in Chad! This isn't funny!" Brad exclaims hanging on while still beating on the ship door.
Author's note: I really enjoy Brad and Hater. I like stupid yet arrogant characters, I find them funny. Thanks for reading! More to come!
