Chapter 2: How Very Un-Canadian!
Hello and thank you to all who reviewed! I'm so glad everyone liked this
Featured Stereotypes: CANADIANS NEVER FIGHT! Oh, and we love poutine (which is French fries and gravy and cheese. It's good… but we aren't obsessed with it!) and Maple syrup, and we're all loggers, and we all live in igloos.
Disclaimer: Didn't I already cover this?
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"CARLOTTA CALM DOWN, IT'S NO BIG DEAL, EH? YOU'RE ALRIGHT!" Piangi shouted as his girlfriend was removed from under the backdrop. She shouted and kicked and fought and bit like crazy.
"How very un-Canadian of her…" Sue muttered to herself.
"I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS, EH?" Carlotta shouted once she was free. "I'm giving up the music business. I'm going to fulfill my dream: to be the Goalie for the Canadian hockey team in the Olympics."
"Oh, the women's league?" Andre asked.
"Not even. I'll be goalie with the men, eh?" Carlotta picked up her beavers and made her way to the door. "I SHALL MAKE HISTORY!"
"… I guess I should follow her, eh?" Piangi asked.
Everyone nodded and watched as he went out the door.
"Well… we're screwed." Firmin muttered. "How about a round of beers, eh?"
"YEAH!" And the group went about passing beers around.
Of course, the mysterious shape in the shadows simply couldn't take this. Not only was his student going unnoticed, but no one was passing him any beer. So, he set about getting a letter down to Sue.
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"Well, would you look at that…?" Sue muttered.
"What?" Meg asked, looking over her shoulder.
"It seems as though our Ghost has some instructions for the new managers…" she downed the rest of her beer can and then flattened it under her foot, "And he wants some beer…"
"Okay!" Christine tossed a can up into the rafters.
"Thanks, eh?" a sexy masculine voice was followed by the sound of the can being opened and guzzled.
"Ghost?" Firmin looked up. "Instructions?"
"WHAT'S WITH YOU TOSSING PERFECTLY GOOD BEER UP INTO THE CEILING, EH?" Andre shouted, glaring at Christine.
Christine whimpered and held up a hockey stick. Without warning, a hockey puck was dropped on Andre's head.
"That was very un-Canadian of him…" Firmin muttered. "Anyways, what does this Ghost want, eh?"
"Hm… just the usual… twenty thousand American dollars as his pay-"
"TWENTY THOUSAND AMERICAN DOLLARS?" A half-conscious Andre shouted.
"That's…" Firmin brought his brow down in concentration. "Well… it's more then twenty thousand dollars Canadian!"
"That could buy a lot of Maple syrup, eh?" Meg asked.
"Or poutine…" Christine agreed.
"Yum, poutine!" a voice from above shouted.
"I LOVE POUTINE!" Andre shouted.
"Well, with this rich guy as your patron, I'm sure you could pay even more." Sue said.
"I own a logging company!" Raoul giggled, "It's right near my multi-million dollar igloo estate, eh?"
Everyone rolled their eyes.
"So, how are we supposed to get money when our star is off being a goalie, eh?" Firmin asked.
"Christine can sing it!" Meg shouted, jumping up and down. "She's being taught by an awesome disembodied voice, eh?"
"AND HE LOVES POUTINE!" Christine put in.
And thus a chorus of "ehs" was heard throughout the opera house.
"Alright, alright." Firmin put up his hand. "Let's hear her sing, then."
Christine ran to the center stage and began to belt out her song.
"Hello out there, we're on the air
It's Hockey night tonight
The tension grows, the whistle blows
And the puck goes down the ice
The goalie jumps and the players bump
The fans all go insane
Someone roars, Bobby scores
At the good old Hockey game"And everyone loved her voice so much (and they weren't even being nice just because they where Canadian), so she was put in as the new star of the show!
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"Oh! The good old Hockey game
Is the best game you can name
And the best game you can name
Is the good old Hockey game!"Raoul leaned out of his seat and watched Christine in rapt attention, waiting breathlessly for her gaze to fall his way. Unfortunately, someone dropped their pouting on his head and she wouldn't have recognized him anyways.
"Second period
Where players dash with skates a flash
The home team trails behind
But they grab the puck and go bursting upAnd they're down across the line
They storm the crease like bumble bees
They travel like a burning flame
We see them slide the puck inside
It's a one-one hockey game."
Since this song was like, the second national anthem, everyone knew the chorus and joined in.
"Oh! The good old Hockey game
Is the best game you can name
And the best game you can name
Is the good old Hockey game!"Andre and Firmin had to admit that Christine looked wonderful in her hockey puck costume. Though Andre's head still hurt from when one of those round black menaces fell on it…
"Third period, last game of the playoffs too!
Oh take me where the hockey players
Face-off down the rink
And the Stanley Cup is all filled up
For the champs who win the drink
Now the final flick of a hockey stick
And on one gigantic screen
The puck is in - the home team wins
That good old hockey game."
Everyone cheered Christine on as she sang the final lines,
"Oh! The good old Hockey game
Is the best game you can name
And the best game you can name
Is the good old Hockey game!"
"YAY CHRISTINE!" Raoul shouted.
Christine pretended not to see him and went straight for the dressing room. Sue was waiting for her, holding a beautiful wooden hockey stick with a black ribbon tied around the top.
"He thought you did awesome, eh?" Sue said, and she handed the stick over.
"Oh, this is the same make that Wayne Gretzky uses, eh!" Christine cried in glee and pressed the hockey stick to her cheek. "I'll cherish it forever!"
Sue nodded and walked off, secretly wishing that she had a Wayne Gretzky stick.
Christine sat in her room and was just taking the ribbon off her stick when Raoul burst in.
"Do you remember me?" he asked.
"… No?" Christine said hopefully.
"DAMMIT!" Raoul shouted, and he ran off.
Christine blinked and looked after him. Wow, she thought to herself, that was easy, eh?
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Next chapter is where the Phantom comes in!
