Author's note: Yet another take on the events that could follow the season two finale. Review please. I'll put up a new part each day. There are six in total. Pick up right where we left off with Meredith standing between Derek and Finn.

Meredith breathed out heavily. She attempted to advert her eyes from Derek's. She could feel both men looking to her for some kind of signal. Something. She looked down to the floor. She couldn't bring herself to meet Finn's gaze. He didn't deserve any of this. He had plans, and she had gone and destroyed them. Yet again, Meredith couldn't breathe.

Meredith began to turn on her heel. Both men cried out to her. Not now… she couldn't break another heart tonight, not while her own heart was falling apart. She walked slowly away from the two men. One step. Two steps. With each step she felt some kind of independence. With each step she realized that maybe she was actually in control. For once her happiness was in her own hands, but why was this so hard? She knew what would be right, but why did right feel so wrong. Why did wrong feel so right.

She felt as if her heart was about to explode in her chest. She tried hard to keep focused on what was going on in front of her. She wanted to look back, but it was too late for that. She had to live her life forward. Her small spaced steps slowly became an all out sprit. She had to keep moving before she did anything rash, anything that might make her already difficult situation worse. She climbed in her car and let the tears, emotions, and feelings of the night free. Sobbing she placed her spinning head on the wheel of her car. How did it all come to this?

She had to stop her thoughts it was all too much to deal with right now. She now truly was the dirty mistress. Derek was married, and this time she knew he was married. They could never be friends. They could never be anything but lovers. She hated herself for loving him so much. She hated herself for giving into her emotions. He was right, no self-control. She felt like a dirty, dirty whore. He was right.

Finn didn't deserve to be dragged into this dirty mess. People were going to get hurt, and there was nothing anyone could do to prevent it. The stage was set, and it was up to Meredith to take the first move, to break the first heart. She had no idea what any of this meant. She just needed to stop crying so hard, so she could drive home. So she could at least physically separate herself from this mess, if only for the night.

Izzie. Poor Izzie She wanted desperately to feel badly for her friend. She had lost Derek, but he was never really hers to begin with. Denny had completely given himself to her, and he was snatched away. Nothing seems to ever work out. Meredith questioned the point of even trying. She began to find some kind of momentary control within herself. She fastened her seat belt and began to drive.

Part of Meredith was secretly jealous of Izzie. She was done with the program. She was one of the people who simply wouldn't make it. She was done. No more 100-hour workweeks, no more sacrifices, simply no more. Meredith didn't know how much more she could take. Maybe some people just aren't meant to be surgeons. Maybe her mother was right, but part of her felt that she had given too much of herself to back out now. She had to continue pushing forward.

She turned into her driveway. The house was black and empty. There were no cars in the driveway. Part of her was worried about her friends. She wondered where they were. The other part of her was relieved to be alone.

She climbed up the wooden stairs that led to her bedroom. Upon entering the room Meredith collapsed on her bed. She saw no point in changing her clothes. She rolled oven to her nightstand and took one of those pills she only used when things got just a little too unbearable. Those nights when sleep won't come on its on simply because she couldn't silence her thoughts for long enough to let it. She still smelled his sent on her body and clothes. She still felt his touch all over. Yet, she couldn't stop thinking about Finn and his plans. Her body gave into the medicine and pure exhaustion. She would deal with life tomorrow.