Notes: This chapter takes place during and after The Road Home – full of Danny, Samantha and Martin! Thanks, as always, to Mariel for being the best beta.


Danny really didn't need more reasons to be angry with Martin, but adding his fight with Katie to the list seemed like the right thing to do. He was literally steaming, and the only thing that seemed to keep him calm was walking - which he'd been doing for blocks. Still not sure where he was going, he thought about calling Ray, but knew Ray would ask about Martin, and quite frankly, if Danny heard Martin's name one more time, he was going to explode.

So Danny continued to walk, the night's events still swirling in his head. When he'd seen Katie come out of the bedroom, a sense of relief had washed over him. He'd missed her. He'd missed coming home to her every night. He'd missed talking to her. He'd missed sleeping with her. All he wanted to do when he saw her was get as close to her as possible. Doing that helped make his thoughts go away. Katie: his ultimate distraction.

The problem was that Katie wasn't hip to his plan, and she'd had her own agenda – which was why Danny wanted to kick himself for not being careful about what he'd told her. He shouldn't have told her about Martin. There was nothing she could do to help him with this - and over the course of the last couple of weeks, he'd convinced himself there was nothing he could do for Martin, either.

Which went back to why he was angry in the first place: he felt he shouldn't have to do this again. He was no good at it. He hadn't been able to stop his father; he'd done a lousy job of helping his brother - and it had taken almost going to jail for him to finally help himself. So how the hell could he possibly help Martin? Martin, who had everything. Martin, who had family he could turn to and Samantha, if he needed to. No, Danny assured himself. Martin doesn't need me...

Two weeks ago, when he'd talked to Katie about what he should do next, he'd thought he was in a position to help Martin. But then opportunity after opportunity came and went, the more time that passed making it harder and harder for Danny to say anything. Not to mention the fact that the thought of seeing Martin through recovery seemed more than daunting. Danny had been through it and remembers it being awful and painful, and God, he didn't want to deal with that again. What if it didn't work? What if he helped Martin and Martin ended up using again? He couldn't stand the thought of that. It made him remember finding Rafael in that abandoned garage, a used needle beside him. And that was just the last time. How many times before had he tried to help Rafael when they were younger? How many times did Rafael promise he'd do better only to fail, with Danny suffering the ultimate consequences?

No. Danny didn't want to go through that again. He didn't want to watch someone else fail and feel helpless. Why couldn't he have just explained this to Katie? He'd thought about it, but then she started talking about their relationship. What their relationship had to do with Martin's problem, Danny had no idea, but once again, it was like he couldn't do enough to make her happy. He thought that asking her to move in with him was had been a big enough commitment. Clearly, that wasn't enough for her.

Spending a week with her father hadn't helped either. Danny knew that even though he got along with her father that Mr. Mason still didn't understand Danny's career choice. Katie had obviously been listening to her father – one more thing that Danny didn't want to deal with.

Wasn't this year supposed to be better than the last one? Danny thought that nothing could be worse than last year, and yet he was beginning to feel just as hopeless and lost as he as he had back then.

Eventually, Danny made his way back to the apartment. It was 2 a.m. when he walked through the front door and faced the dark living room. After turning on a lamp, Danny quietly made his way back to the bedroom. Katie was sleeping, curled into a ball clutching his pillow. Resisting the natural urge to slip into bed next to her, he grabbed a pillow and blanket from the end of the bed and headed back to the living room.

XXX

Two days, and he and Katie hadn't spoken again about their argument. They'd barely spoken at all, and Danny had spent a second night on the couch. The strange thing was that neither seemed willing to work through their argument. Their wounds still raw, it had seemed as though they both needed time to heal before they could go to round two.

Tired and aching from another night on the couch, Danny walked into the bullpen on Tuesday morning.

Sam, at the center table doing paper work, looked up and regarded Danny closely before her lips curved into a smile. "Another late night?"

Smiling, Danny shook his head. "Not even close," he responded as he took his jacket off and laid it on the back of his chair. After picking up his coffee cup, he turned toward Samantha. "I just need coffee. Bring you a refill?"

"Thanks. I'll go with you, though. My eyes are crossing looking at those phone records."

Nodding, Danny waited for Sam to rise and then followed her out towards the coffee area.

"Where is everyone this morning?" Danny asked as they passed Jack's empty office.

"Jack and Viv had to meet with Olzyk this morning about the quarterly reports or something. Elena's due here any minute. She usually runs late on Wednesday because her mom can't take her daughter to school. I don't know where Martin is. I'm sure he'll be here soon."

"I'm sure," Danny said in a more sarcastic tone than he'd intended.

"You sure you're okay? Sam asked as they reached the coffee area.

Danny shrugged as he filled her coffee mug and then his own. "I'm great. Do we have anything new this morning?"

"Nope. Not yet, anyway."

They made their way back to the bullpen and took seats at the table. Danny took a few minutes to read the Sports section of the newspaper as he drank his coffee, while Sam continued her paperwork. After putting off the inevitable for another twenty minutes, Danny finally joined Samantha in reviewing the stack of paperwork. In the meantime, Elena had arrived and was busily catching up with a few things at her desk.

Shortly after Elena arrived, Samantha's telephone rang. Backing up to her desk, she answered the phone.

"Spade…Hey, Jack, what's up?"

Danny looked up, watching Sam as she spoke to Jack on the phone.

"Okay…Okay," Samantha responded as she jotted down some notes. "We'll head out now," she said before hanging up the phone.

While Sam was on the phone, Elena had joined them at the table, anticipating a new case. "What's up?" she asked.

"A missing bike messenger hasn't reported to work in two days. Jack and Viv are still stuck upstairs for at least an hour. Jack wants us to head over to this kid's work to see if this is actually a case or if he just took off," she responded as she looked at Danny.

"Let's go," Danny said, rising from his chair.

"See what kind of background you can dig up." Sam ordered, handing Elena her notes.

"Got it. What about Martin? Is he here?" Elena asked.

Glancing at Danny, Sam responded, "No he's not, but Jack wanted him to come with us anyway. I'll call him…see where he's at and he can just meet us there."

Resisting the urge to roll his eyes, Danny shrugged on his coat. "I'll pull the car around and meet you downstairs," he said as he walked out of the bullpen in full stride.

XXX

"Why is helping Martin my responsibility?" That question kept going through his head as he rode back to the office with Samantha. She didn't say anything else to him about it. On the ride up in the elevator, they glanced at each other a couple times—Danny noticing that Samantha almost seemed nervous. Asking him for help couldn't have been easy for her. It had taken a lot of courage, actually, especially considering her history with Martin.

After they both packed up their things, Sam started to walk out when Danny stopped her.

"It's not that cold out, but we could still share a cab. Riding the subway at this time of night is always so depressing," he said in a purposefully light tone.

"Okay," was all Sam said in reply before they wordlessly walked out of the office together.

For the most part, the cab ride was just as silent. But then Danny took out his phone. Sam, who had been staring out the window, looked over to see him hit a number on his speed dial.

"Fitzgerald," Martin answered on the third ring.

"Hey. It's Danny."

"What's up? Something with the case?" Martin asked as he yawned. Danny could tell he had woken Martin up.

"No. We got the kid back," Danny answered and then hesitated. God, why was this so hard?

"What is it, then?" Martin asked in a confused tone.

"Do you know where St. Mary's is on the upper West side? It's just a few blocks from where you live."

"Yeah, I know where that is," Martin replied hesitantly.

"I'll be there in an hour and a half. They have a nightly Narcotics Anonymous meeting there starting at 10 sharp. It's in the basement."

Danny listened for what seemed like an eternity until Martin finally spoke.

"Okay."

"Okay," Danny replied before closing his phone.

The cab had stopped in front of Sam's apartment building, but she hadn't gotten out yet.

"Thanks," she said quietly, voice full of appreciation.

"Don't thank me, Sam. He still has to show up. And after that, there are no guarantees," Danny replied solemnly.

"I know, but still, thank you."

Danny just nodded as he ran his hand across his chin.

"See you tomorrow," she said as she started to fumble for her wallet.

"Don't worry about it. You can get it the next time," Danny said as he gave her a small smile.

"Thanks. Tell Katie I said hello," she called out as she got out of the cab.

XXX

Katie. He still had to work things out with Katie. His heart started to beat faster as he ascended the stairs to his apartment. He didn't have much time to shower and change before meeting Martin uptown. He didn't look forward to experiencing another awkward silence with Katie or explaining that he was going to have to leave again.

Walking into the apartment, Katie looked up from a stack of papers at the kitchen table.

"Hey," she started.

"Hey," Danny responded, smiling slightly. "Mid-term papers?" he asked motioning toward the stack.

Nodding in response, Katie returned the smile with a very small one of her own. "Another late night, huh?"

"Yeah. But we found our kid, so all's well that end's well, I guess."

"Right," Katie said as she looked down at the latest paper. "Are you hungry? Sylvia brought over this fantastic, but very spicy casserole this afternoon as a thank-you for tutoring Nicky. I left it in the oven for you."

"I'm not hungry, but thanks. I actually have to go back out again. I just came home to shower and change."

Frowning, Katie let out a small sigh. "Do you have a date or something?"

Ouch, Danny thought. Maybe he deserved that. "Not tonight. No," he countered with an involuntary smirk. He couldn't let that go without a comeback. "I'm going to a meeting."

Katie nodded.

"I actually need to get going if I'm going to be on time, but maybe…maybe we can set some time aside tomorrow and work through whatever it is we need to work through. I can't keep living like this," he said, motioning toward the sofa that had been his bed the last two nights.

"I don't have class tomorrow night. I'll be here when you get home. We can talk then."

"Fine. I'm going to grab a shower and then head out," he said as he back away towards the bedroom.

XXX

A sense of relief washed over him when Martin walked through the door. Danny had to stop himself from smiling. Moments earlier, he'd had to stop stop himself from storming out in anger because Martin hadn't shown up yet. Danny couldn't look at him as Martin sat down next to him. He knew exactly how Martin was feeling, and he didn't want to remember it: the nervousness, the embarrassment, the humiliation.

After the meeting, the meeting leader asked any new people to stay behind to talk one on one. Danny watched as a couple of people went up to the leader, but Martin stayed in his seat.

"I can talk you through what he's telling them, if you want," Danny said, keeping his eyes on the bulletin board at the front of the room.

"Okay."

Finally looking at Martin, Danny asked, "First, do you have any pills left?"

"No. I mean, I threw them away before I left, but they're still in my apartment."

"That's not going to work. I'll stop by your place after this and take them out of your apartment. You have to be really honest with me, Martin. You can't hide a stash for emergencies. You have to get rid of everything."

"I understand."

"Second, make an appointment to see your personal physician for tomorrow. You might not be able to quit those things cold turkey. Narcotics are different than alcohol. There could be something your doctor could do to help you."

"But that means—"

Danny interrupted in a deliberately firm tone. "It means admitting what you've been doing to your doctor. Believe me, he's heard it before, and he'll keep it confidential."

Martin nodded, but still looked uneasy.

"Your doctor may suggest a treatment program or something. Those definitely help, and most of them are based on the same 12-step philosophies."

"That means telling Jack," Martin responded, voice full of dread.

"Not necessarily, but that may come later. You could probably participate in an out-patient program. Your doctor can talk you through that as well."

'What's next? After that."

Danny frowned at Martin's sudden eagerness. Suddenly, it seemed like Martin was treating this with the same enthusiasm he'd treat a new case.

"There's a lot after that," Danny responded, trying to hide the agitation in his voice. "This isn't something that can be cured, Martin. It's continuing to go to meetings. It's getting a sponsor and working through the steps. It's a lot of work."

"I understand," Martin said, trying to sound like he was in control.

Danny nodded, but he knew that Martin really had no idea how hard it was going to be.