Author's Note: This is my favorite part of the story by far. I decided to put this one up a little sooner since the last chapter was so short. Enjoy! Feedback is welcomed as always :)

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

Part 5:

Addison ferociously scrubbed her hands. The surgery she just performed allowed her some kind of escape. A reason not to care that her marriage was over. A reason not to worry where she was going to stay tonight. A reason. Addison turned off the water and turned to change out of her surgical scrubs.

Addison drove straight home, not wanting to see anyone. She entered the small trailer. She really did hate this place. She looked at the bed that they had shared for the last few months, and was filled with grief. This was never her home. She had long lost Derek. She wondered why she was so stupid to actually think that things would change. Why was she still so deeply in love with him?

She looked down at her wedding ring. Eleven years had culminated to this single moment, dissolution of the vows that they both at one point had whole-heartedly meant. Slowly she began to gather her things. It was all too over whelming. She stopped packing and just sat on the bed, allowing herself to get lost in her thoughts.

Her thoughts were interrupted when she heard a soft knock on the door. She got up to get it. She wondered who it could be. It was Meredith. Addison opened the door. Meredith's face visibly fell as she opened the door.

"Hey," Meredith said as she stepped inside of the trailer. Meredith couldn't hide her confusion at the disarray of the trailer. Furthermore, she couldn't hide her surprise when she saw divorce papers sitting on the table. Signed. Meredith knew she had to go.

"Addison, I have to," Meredith began.

"Why Meredith? Seriously? What did you do to make him love you so much? I tried. I really did. I wasn't a bad wife. I mean the whole adultery thing, but damnit I had already lost him at that point. I loved him with my entire heart and soul, and I thought that would be enough. Why isn't it enough?"

"I don't know," Meredith responded.

"God damnit, I want to hate you. I want to hate you so much, but I can't. You did nothing wrong. You didn't know, and then your heart was broken. All because of me. You loved my husband. My husband loves you. You screwed my husband in an exam room, but I can't hate you. I have to hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you," Addison screamed as she slid down the wall to the floor.

Meredith stepped towards her and sat beside her. "I love him so much. I love him so very much," Addison cried.

"I know you do. I know. Shh," Meredith said as she wrapped her arms around her. "I do too, and I know I shouldn't. I wish I could stop. Shh."

The two women sat there crying.