Dudley's Diary
A/N: As much as I would hate to admit it, most of these characters have been created by JK Rowling with the exception of a few which are MINE-ALL MINE-joke so don't call me a genius because of my totally creative characters but call me a genius because of my writing.
Read on to see the best story about the Junior Dursley ever:
2nd July 2004
Mum got me a new diary-this one.
She gave it to me randomly new word because she saw me writing in the other one.
I guess this is alright-but it has a new word box.
I'm clever enough-I don't need a new word box. I REMEMBER stuff.
AND I can count the new word box had a box inside it where you have to put the number of new words you've learnt.
Like, for my birthday, I counted exactly 37 presents which is 3 less than last year! I got four more in the end, though.
Speaking of new words, I learnt the word breathtaking.
It certainly describes Pansy…ah, Pansy! When will you be mine and not the albino's another new word girl?
Oh, Pansy! How I love you!
DUDLEY LOVES PP!
Petunia peeked over her son's diary.
"Who's Pansy," she asked with a twinkle in her eye.
Dudley blushed and slammed his book together.
"Duddikins has a little crush!" said his mother gleefully.
"MUM," said Dudley warningly but his mother was reveling in dreams of Dudley getting married and even worse, of Dudley having KIDS!
"Who is she? Someone from school?" asked his mother.
Dudley turned redder-if his mother found out he loved one of Potter's type, he would be in BIG trouble.
"How about you write a love letter to her? They were popular in MY days."
There was a snigger.
"Oh Pansy! You are like a gentle flower in the soft breeze! How romantic!"
O…Pansy…yo….breeze
There was the scraping of a pen as Dudley tried to copy the words down with failure-he only got 'Pansy' and 'breeze'.
His mother took the pen from him and wrote it down.
"There; now extend this and mail it to Pansy."
"What does extend mean?"
"Look it up, and add it to your new words box."
Mum just came and went.
Something had just worried me!
What will Mum say when she finds out that Pansy is a witch?
To say she would be angry would be an understatement new word!
And Dad?
I don't want to IMAGINE his reaction!
But let's work on my letter:
To Pansy,
Petunia returned and saw that her son had started his letter.
She grabbed the pen from him, and started writing.
Dear Pansy,
You are my life and my soul.
You are a gentle flower in the soft breeze.
You are everything which is good.
You have stolen my heart.
And I will steal yours
You and I are like two halves of the moon-fitting together perfectly
If I don't belong to you, no one will
I care for you more than anybody else in the world
I will die for you
My love for you is everlasting
You are breathtaking
You are the most beautiful woman on Earth
You are my soul
You are my life
You are my everything
I love you.
Love from,
Your Secret Admirer
Petunia folded the piece of paper and put it in an envelope.
She told Dudley to lick the top.
"No way!" he replied.
"It'll be more romantic," urged his mother and he had to consent.
"Where does she live?" asked Petunia, pen poised in midair near the envelope.
"Um…"
"Where?"
"Um…15 Grove Lane, Chiswick?"
"Ooh!" She wrote the address on the envelope.
"You wouldn't happen to know the post code would you? Ah no, of course not. I'll look it up on the Web net," said Petunia.
"Internet," said Dudley.
"Same thing," commented Petunia and soon afterwards the letter was posted when she went for a walk around the block.
It's done.
The letter's been posted.
Only there's ONE thing which went wrong: It's been sent to the wrong person.
New Words
How Many?
4
1. Random: ran·dom
adj.
Having no specific pattern, purpose, or objective: random movements.
Mathematics & Statistics. Of or relating to a type of circumstance or event that is described by a probability distribution.
Of or relating to an event in which all outcomes are equally likely, as in the testing of a blood sample for the presence of a substance
2. Breathtaking:
breath-taking
adj.
Inspiring or exciting: a breathtaking view; a breathtaking ride.
Astonishing; astounding: breathtaking insensitivity.
3.
Albino: al·bi·no
n. pl.al·bi·nos
A person or animal lacking normal pigmentation, with the result being that the skin and hair are abnormally white or milky and the eyes have a pink or blue iris and a deep-red pupil.
A plant that lacks chlorophyll.
4. Understatement:
un·der·state·ment
n.
A disclosure or statement that is less than complete.
Restraint or lack of emphasis in expression, as for rhetorical effect.
Restraint in artistic expression.
