CHAPTER FOURTEEN
(chapter title - Goodbye Love)
Destiny was nursing Jason as Caitlyn watched High School Musical with Mark. Roger was sitting in the armchair, quietly tuning his guitar. Crystal had gotten into an argument with her abusive ex-boyfriend and she would be coming by the loft to stay the night.
A few minutes later, there was a knock on the door. Mark put the movie on pause and went to answer the door - it was Crystal. She rushed into the loft, a scared look on her face.
"Whoa - Crystal. Are you okay?" Mark inquired.
"Yeah, I just ran out the house while Martin's back was turned." she explained. Roger sat his guitar down and walked over to the couch. He then made room for her so that she could sit down next to him. As soon as she was seated next to Roger, she buried her face in his shirt and began to cry. Roger pulled her close to him and gently rocked her back and forth.
"Come on, Caitlyn. Bed time." Mark told her, taking the movie out of the DVD player and putting it back in the box.
"I'm not even tired, daddy." Caitlyn whined.
"Just do what Mark says, Caitlyn. Jason's going to bed, too." Destiny said as she burped Jason and carried him to her and Mark's room. Caitlyn sighed and said goodnight to Mark, Crystal and Roger. Roger smiled slightly as Caitlyn blew him a goodnight kiss. Mark followed Destiny to their room, assuming that Roger and Crystal wanted some time to themselves.
"Can you tell me what happened?" Roger asked, wiping Crystal's tears away with his thumb. Crystal slowly shook her head as new tears welled up in her eyes.
"It'll be okay, Crys. You'll see." Roger soothed her. Crys had become his pet name for her - kind of like how Mimi's pet name was Meems. He gently ran a hand up and down her arm when Crystal shied away.
"Crys? What's wrong, sweetie?" Roger inquired, taking a closer look at her arm - it was covered in black and blue bruises.
"Rog, it's nothing." Crystal told him, her voice scared. Roger sighed and pestered her a little longer - she just kept shaking her head and looking like she was about to cry.
"If it's okay with you, Rog, may I go lay down?" Crystal asked a little while later.
"Sure, Crys. That's fine." Roger smiled and led the way to his room. He lay down next to Crystal and stayed there until she was fast asleep. Roger watched her sleep for a moment or two. She looks so peaceful Roger thought as he stroked her cheek. Carefully sitting up, he kissed the top of her head and exited the room. As he sat down on the couch, his mind floated back to Angel's funeral - everyone had been there, except Angel, of course…
"It's true you sold your guitar and bought a car?" Mimi inquired.
"It's true - I'm leaving now for Santa Fe. It's true you're with this yuppie scum?" Roger asked.
"You said you'd never speak to him again." Benny reminded Mimi.
"Not now." Mimi shook her head at Benny.
"Who said that you have any say in who she says things to at all?" Maureen implied.
"Yeah!" Roger chimed in.
"Who said that you should stick your nose in other people's…" Joanne started.
"Who said I was talking to you?" Maureen interrupted.
"We used to have this fight each night. She'd never admit I existed!" Joanne told the group.
"Calm down! Everyone please!" Mark tried to calm the group down.
"He was the same way - he was always 'run away - hit the road don't commit' you're full of shit!" Mimi yelled at Roger.
"Mimi…" Benny warned.
"She's in denial." Joanne pointed at Maureen.
"He's in denial." Mimi pointed at Roger.
"Didn't give an inch when I gave a mile!" Joanne yelled at her girlfriend.
"Guys, come on!" Mark was attempting to calm the group down, again.
"I gave a mile!" Mimi informed Roger.
"Gave a mile to who?" Roger inquired, raising an eyebrow.
"Come on guys chill!" Mark and Benny told the group in unison.
"I'd be happy to die for a taste of what Angel had, someone to live for - unafraid to say I love you!" Joanne and Mimi told Maureen and Roger.
"All your words are nice Mimi but love's not a three-way street you'll never share real love until you love yourself - I should know." Roger yelled at Mimi, but stopped when he felt a hand upon his shoulder. Looking up, he saw Collins' face and he looked hurt, disappointed and angry at the same time.
"You all said you'd be cool today so please for my sake... I can't believe he's gone. I can't believe you're going. I can't believe this family must die. Angel helped us believe in love, I can't believe you disagree…" Collins told the group, tears in his eyes.
"I can't believe this is good-bye." Everyone said to each other.
Later that night….
"I hear there are great restaurants out west." Mark told Roger, trying to make conversation.
"Some of the best, how could she?" Roger inquired, putting clothes into a large bag.
"How could you let her go?" Mark asked, a little bit of an edge in his voice.
"You just don't know ... how could we lose Angel?" Roger questioned as he continued to stuff clothes into his bag.
"Maybe you'll see why when you stop escaping your pain at least now if you try. Angel's death won't be in vain." Mark reassured his friend.
"His death is in vain." Roger reminded his friend.
"Are you insane? There's so much to care about there's me there's Mimi-" Mark started to say, but Roger cut him off.
"Mimi's got her baggage too." Roger said, not daring to look at his best friend.
"So do you." Mark told him.
"Who are you to tell me what I know. What to do?" Roger asked, walking into the bathroom to get his AZT and other medications.
"A friend." Mark replied simply.
"But who Mark are you? 'Mark has got his work' they say. 'Mark lives for his work' and 'Mark's in love with his work' Mark hides in his work." Roger muttered the last bit, but Mark heard him.
"From what?" Mark inquired.
"From facing your failure, facing your loneliness, facing the fact you live a lie. Yes, you live a lie tell you why you're always preaching not to be numb when that's how you thrive you pretend to create and observe when you really detach from feeling alive…" Roger told his best friend.
"Perhaps it's because I'm the one of us to survive!" Mark yelled at his friend.
"Poor baby!" Roger yelled back.
"Mimi still loves you, are you really jealous or afraid that Mimi's weak?" Mark inquired.
"Mimi did look pale…" Roger answered, his face getting pale.
"Mimi's gotten thin, Mimi's running out of time, and you're running out the door-" Mark started to say, but Roger cut him off.
"No more! I've gotta go!" Roger started to walk out the door, but stopped when Mark's voice rang in his ear.
"Hey for someone who's always been let down who's heading out of town?" Mark shouted at him.
"For someone who longs for a community of his own, who's with his camera, alone?" Roger shot back. "I'll call." he told Mark, calming down a bit. To himself, he muttered, "I hate the fall." Someone then cleared their throat. Turning around, he saw Mimi in the shadows.
"You heard?" he asked. She nodded.
"Every word." Her tone was sad. "You don't want baggage without lifetime guarantees. You don't want to watch me die? I just came to say goodbye love goodbye love came to say goodbye love, goodbye."
Roger just shook his head and left just as Benny came up to Mimi. He touched her arm, but she backed away.
"Please don't touch me understand, I'm scared I need to go away." she told him, her voice quivering.
"I know a place, a clinic." Mark piped up.
"A rehab?" Benny asked.
"Maybe could you?" Mimi inquired, her face covered in tears.
"I'll pay." Benny said, pulling out his cell phone just as Mimi ran to her loft.
"Goodbye love, goodbye love came to say goodbye love goodbye. Just came to say goodbye love goodbye love goodbye love. Hello disease." Mimi sang this as she watched Roger drive to Santa Fe. She didn't know if or when she would see him again.
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Meanwhile, Jules had been rushed to the hospital due to her high fever. John had been by her side since she had arrived at the hospital two hours ago. She was hooked up to all sorts of machines that kept buzzing and beeping at different times. She was also on a medication to help bring her fever down. John was left with no choice but to call Roger - he had to know about Jules' condition. Picking up the phone, he dialed the loft and waited for an answer.
