DISCLAIMER! This Harry Potter story was written for fun. All rights belong to the wonderful lady (JK Rowling) who gave the world Harry Potter to read and enjoy. Looking forward to the next movie! Yeah, Fanfiction – a great place to stretch your imagination and enjoy someone else's creativity too! New Movie coming in April! Hurrah!
In the reviews for Birdshot, a reader mentioned the idea of the dementors being sucked into the internet. The idea percolated for a few days and this story was born. Bashing Voldie, Dumbles, Purebloods, and Magical Britain in general. No ships. Will end in the fall of Harry's fifth year.
Chapter 4: September 1994Dolores Umbridge walked quickly from the front door of Hogwarts to the closed doors of the Great Hall.
'This place is dirty…Hogwarts was always so dirty,' she remembered. Disregarding traditions and norms, the newly rehired under-under-secretary of Ministry Assets reached the doors and pushed. They didn't budge.
"I am here to speak to the headmaster. I represent the Ministry for Magic! Now, let me in!" she commanded but the doors remained closed, and the halls were silent. Dolores raised her fist and banged on the thick door.
'Oh. That hurt,' she decided, cradling her right hand in her left and looking around. Finding a vague figure forming behind her, she spun around and faced the ghost. The Fat Friar frowned at one of the few Hufflepuff failures – Dolores Umbridge had never made friends or allies in her time at Hogwarts as a badger.
"They're sorting the new students. No one can go inside now," the ghost stated coldly. This witch was no longer a child who might grow into a witch who could be a member of the Hufflepuff network. Hogwarts tried to reach little Dolores for seven years but once she graduated and began her career in the Ministry, the castle removed her from the rosters.
"I am Dolores Umbridge, Under…Secretary of Ministry Assets. I am here to investigate the disappearance of ministry assets at Hogwarts.
"Investigate away," the Fat Friar replied. "But you can't go into the Great Hall until the sorting is complete.
"Do you know who I am?" she demanded. "I shall have you arrested for impeding a ministry official."
The ghost swooped through the witch, usually something that merely tickled. However, the Fat Friar was irritated that he was missing the sorting and forced to deal with one of his house's failures. Dolores felt the heat of anger and the cold of despair fill her tiny soul for a moment before she fainted and fell on her face. The Fat Friar continued on through the doors of the Great Hall to view the remaining new students be sorted. As usual, Hufflepuff gained its share of 'the rest'.
With the last of the firsties sorted and seated at the appropriate table, Albus Dumbledore rose to make the traditional announcements that forewarned of danger and adventure for Harry Potter in the next ten months. However, tonight before he could point to the Goblet of Fire that was positioned at the back of the hall on a slender plinth and reveal the forthcoming tournament, the doors of the Great Hall opened.
'Alastor is early,' Dumbledore thought. 'I thought he would clump into the room after the food was on the table. He likes to make the plates tremble with that magical peg leg.'
But instead of Alastor Moody, the DADA professor for the year, a witch dressed in pink with a bloody nose and a dribble of blood down the front of her robes staggered through the door.
"I am Secretary Dolores Umbridge from the Ministry for Magic," she announced with a strange accent because of her injured nose. The reactions of three persons were telling if anyone had been paying attention to the staff table. Dumbledore frowned – Umbridge was a minion of the minister and she had been fired when Cornelius was still recovering from being trampled at the World Quidditch Cup. 'I never wanted her as one of mine. Why did Cornelius rehire her?'
Pomona Sprout frowned and made certain to take slow, deep breaths. 'I should have pushed her off the astronomy tower when she was in her seventh year.'
Poppy Pomphrey worked very hard to keep her face neutral. When she'd been a first-year student in Ravenclaw, fifth-year Dolores Umbridge made a point of tearing up Poppy's homework papers once a week in the first term. Only after Poppy learned to cast a very painful stinging hex did the bully leave her alone. Rising slowly and walking casually toward the injured witch, Poppy thought, 'I must provide proper care. But I won't clean the blood off those hideous robes.'
"Ah, Madam Umbridge, Under-Under-Secretary for Ministry Assets, won't you join us for the welcoming feast?" asked Dumbledore naming the witch's position properly (to remove anyone's concern). An under-under-secretary was an entry-level position.
'This might explain young Percival Weasley's quick promotion to Under-Secretary with Barty Crouch,' Dumbledore decided, never appreciating the young wizard's efforts to study and understand the rules and laws of the ministry.
While Poppy dealt with the bloody nose of the surprise visitor, Dumbledore tried once again to make the announcement but this time, Alastor Moody pushed open the doors. The door on Moody's left side slammed into Dolores Umbridge who stood with her head leaned back so that Pomphrey could heal her nose. The witch was shoved forward and fell onto the plinth holding the goblet of fire.
Dolores and the goblet fell to the floor.
The witch yelled as her head hit the floor and then was struck by the goblet. The base of the goblet hit Dolores, but the rim hit the hard stone floor – and cracked.
With the hubbub of growing conversations at each table, Dumbledore frowned for 'his' plans to be overturned by circumstances and called for the feast to begin. He left the table and made his way toward the back of the Great Hall where Alastor Moody, Poppy Pomphrey, and Dolores Umbridge stood over the Goblet of Fire.
At the staff table, Minerva remained to begin her meal. Pomona leaned over and asked, "Aren't you going to follow Albus and investigate?"
"No," replied the deputy headmistress. "Albus can take care of the mess. And I don't see you moving to help a badger who is bleeding at the back of the hall."
"No, you don't see me going to help that witch, do you?" Pomona replied turning her attention to her plate as well.
Severus Snape also remained at the table, not following the gaudy robes of Albus Dumbledore to investigate. His attention remained on the spawn of the hated James Potter. The boy looked the healthiest Snape had ever seen. 'I'll brew a potion. Remove the Heir is a slow poison…he'll linger in agony for six months.'
Shaking his head to remove the pleasant fantasy, Snape reminded himself, 'Dumbledore will never allow that. I must control my fantasies of destroying everything Potter.'
At the back of the Great Hall, Dumbledore found the Goblet of Fire had been cracked when it fell to the floor. With his wand, he righted the plinth and then physically lifted the goblet to examine the crack. Around the Great Hall, two students with greater sensitivity for magic noticed the stream of light that dribbled from the crack, down the side of the plinth and was absorbed by the castle's floor.
"Oh dear," Dumbledore said when he observed the crack and wanted to bring the attention of the bureaucrat to the damage. "It appears a ministry artefact has been damaged…by Under-Under-Secretary Umbridge. Whatever shall we do?"
"What? No!" shouted Dolores. "That's not right! This man pushed me into the column. It's his fault!"
"How dare you blame me, witless witch!" shouted Alastor, his magical eye finally beginning to spin while spit slid down the side of his misshapen mouth.
Dolores stepped back from the wizard but still continued her diatribe, "I am here to investigate the disappearance of a valuable ministry asset at the end of the last school year."
"What asset is that?"
"The Dementors. The legion of Dementors that protected Hogwarts from the criminal Sirius Black last year never returned to Azkaban".
"You mean they're loose and wandering around Britain?" shouted Moody. "Dementors must be kept under strict control…the ministry is going to be in trouble with the muggles if they've lost a bunch of Dementors."
Albus Dumbledore grimaced – the loud announcement by Moody couldn't be obliviated from the minds of everyone in the room and there'd be letters sent home tonight for certain.
'I'll play this hand of cards as they've been dealt,' the headmaster decided.
"Madam Umbridge, did Minister Fudge send you to Hogwarts during the sorting to purposefully cause a problem?"
"What? No! He sent me to investigate the disappearance of the Dementors. What happened to them, Headmaster Dumbledore?"
"They left at the end of the school year in June," Dumbledore replied. "But I had no control over them. They were the responsibility of Cornelius Fudge."
Moody picked up Dumbledore's narrative and said, "The minister for magic lost a legion of Dementors and then waited for over two months to look for them! Scandalous! What will the voters say about this?"
Dolores had arrived at Hogwarts confident she could make Dumbledore uncomfortable this evening. He would accept her presence at the school for a month…or more…while she investigated the missing creatures and see what else she could discover. Now, she was the one bloodied literally and figuratively. She glanced around the Great Hall and noticed several students from all four houses listening closely. 'Susan Bones, Ernie McMillan, Weasleys, Lovegood, Malfoy, Greengrass, Nott – children from ministry families will all report this catastrophe to their families – tonight.'
"I…I must return to the ministry," Dolores announced. "Take me to a floo!"
Dumbledore looked perplexed for a moment, "But you walked here, didn't you? From Hogsmeade?"
"Yes, that was to catch…that was before I was injured – twice – in your school."
Looking at Poppy, Dumbledore ordered, "Madam Pomphrey, escort Madam Umbridge to the floo in the receiving room off the entry hall. It will be open for the next five minutes and she can return to the atrium at the ministry from there."
"My office…"
"No, the atrium." Dumbledore lied, "That floo only goes to common areas."
POV CHANGE & Harry PotterAfter listening to Ron complain about his summer for the entire length of the trip from London to Hogwarts, Harry looked forward to the sorting ceremony and the welcoming feast. He'd hardly been able to separate himself from Ron on the train for even a minute. Neville offered a good conversation discussing success with several important plants that summer. Lavender, Parvati, and Hermione occupied the next compartment and Harry sat with them for almost an hour talking about the classes in the fourth year and listening to the young witches talk about the strange request for 'dress robes' contained in the letter this year. When Ginny Weasley walked into the compartment, Harry made a quick exit, leaving the four girls free to talk about 'boys'.
After a game of Wizards Chess, Harry pulled out a history book that was more interesting than the one assigned for their class and baffled Ron by reading for more than an hour. After reading for all that time, Harry asked, "Ron, did you get your homework finished?"
"Uh, yeah," was the quick reply and then the red-head bolted from the compartment to walk around the train.
"What was that all about?" asked Neville, who was more observant than other people thought.
Harry smirked and explained, "At the Quidditch World Cup, Ron was complaining…"
"Ron always complains about everything in every conversation," interrupted Neville.
Harry grinned and nodded. "Yeah, he does. Anyways, he was complaining about me and Hermione not coming to visit at the Burrow because he wanted to 'use' our summer homework to get his done."
"To copy your homework, you mean."
His grin growing even wider, Harry nodded again. "So I told him I'd owl him copies of my homework. He shut up about me not visiting then and I sent him papers that I bet he's just put his name on and plans to turn in."
Now Neville grimaced and said, "Too many wizards and witches are lazy. They just expect magic to hand them what they want and need. Ron'll never change until someone pushes him over the edge."
Once they were at Hogsmeade station, Harry was able to say hello to Hagrid and helped direct several of the first-year students toward the half-giant. The young wizard reassured a couple of the muggle-born that Hagrid was a good guy, and they'd enjoy their ride across Black Lake.
"We'll see you in the castle in just a bit," he told them before he ran for the carriages. Seated with Neville, Ron, Susan Bones and Hannah Abbot, Harry invited a lonely looking girl from Ravenclaw to join them. Ron made a face, but the others forced the redhead to be silent while they listened to Luna Lovegood tell them about the unfortunate infestation of French Humdingers and Polish Blabbering Cuttlefish that would be in the castle for almost the entire year.
Susan Bones seemed to listen to Luna closely and remarked, "I think Miss Lovegood is correct. We're going to have French Humdingers and Polish Cuttlefish at Hogwarts this year."
Nodding Luna agreed but she added, "Blabbering Cuttlefish, Miss Bones. They're much more handsome than the regular Cuttlefish that populate the castle today."
Glancing at Harry and Neville for a moment, Susan smiled as she continued the conversation, "I don't know about that. Some of our cuttlefish are quite handsome."
"And we have plenty of Humdingers too," Luna replied.
The sorting was interesting as always and Harry joined in the applause for each student sorted, even the Slytherin students. Then he watched the antics of the lady in pink robes from the ministry, the weird man with the magical eye and peg leg, and the matron trying to heal the witch's bloody nose. The goblet thing hit the floor hard, and Harry could see the dribble of magic sliding out of the crack, sliding down the column and hitting the floor of the Great Hall.
Ron's eating habits had not improved over the summer and Harry noticed that several of his classmates cast silencing spells on the young wizard though they had to use their wands (often held below the table). Harry also noticed that after Madam Pomphrey led the pink witch away, the headmaster and the strange wizard remained at the back of the Great Hall throughout the meal, talking about the goblet. Madam Pomphrey returned to the staff table to eat her dinner and ignored the headmaster.
Once the meal was complete, without any announcements, Deputy Headmistress McGonagall dismissed the students to their dormitories with the prefects ordered to escort the firsties and provide them with an orientation to the castle.
'My fourth-year starts off with some excitement,' Harry decided. 'Just so long as it doesn't affect me, that's fine.'
At breakfast the next morning, Harry and Neville sat with Hermione, Lavender, and Parvati. The five students had a general conversation, spoke to kids from other years and the other houses, and speculated on their schedules for the year.
The Daily Prophet arrived, and the headlines made no mention of the witch with pink robes being at Hogwarts the previous evening. Harry decided, 'Guess no one sent memories from last night.'
Albus Dumbledore stood at the staff table and cleared his throat twice, each time using a charm to make certain everyone could hear his voice. The Great Hall only fell silent because the four heads of house walked alongside of the tables, demanding students pay attention to the headmaster.
"Good morning. Before you receive your schedules and start another wonderful year at Hogwarts, I need to make the announcements that were delayed last night. First, allow me to introduce our DADA professor this year, Alastor Moody, a retired Auror of great renown," Dumbledore said, motioning toward the scarred wizard who merely raised his hand rather than standing to be acknowledged.
Harry noticed the headmaster frowned slightly that the wizard didn't stand.
"And now, our biggest announcement for the new school year. Hogwarts will play host to an exciting tournament this year. The historical Tri-Wizard Tournament has been revived with two other schools coming to spend the year with us here at Hogwarts."
Professor Sprout interrupted and asked, "The whole school? Are three whole schools coming? The greenhouses are prepared for that!"
"No, no, Professor Sprout," Dumbledore replied, his tone a little forced. "They are only bringing their seventh-year students. The Tri-Wizard Tournament is restricted to only young wizards and witches who are adults so only the seventh-year students will be spending the year with us."
Harry noticed that Madam Pomphrey didn't look happy, and she rose to speak with Professor Snape while Dumbledore continued. The potions professor looked unhappy at the matron's comment or request but nodded his head. (She wanted Snape to immediately increase the number of potions brewed to help witches with any menstrual problems, and the new contraceptive potions that were available for witches and wizards. Dumbledore had just tripled the number of 'adult students' in the school).
"Will you please hold your comments until I am finished!" Dumbledore growled at the staff. "Now, our visitors will arrive in the middle of October and remain with us through the end of June. We will welcome the lovely witches from the Académie de Magie Beauxbâtons from France, and the wizards and witches from Durmstrang Institute which is located somewhere in Eastern Europe.
'Luna was right!' Harry thought to himself. 'Hogwarts will be infested with French Humdingers and Polish Blabbering Cuttlefish. She's brilliant!'
"Five days before Halloween, we shall light the Goblet of Fire," Dumbledore said, motioning toward the artefact at the back of the Great Hall. "Then students aged 17 can insert their names on slips of paper if they are interested in participating as a champion for their school – only three students – one from each school will be selected. They will participate in three tasks for glory and ever-lasting fame, with the purse of a thousand galleons."
Harry leaned over to Hermione and asked, "Hermione, have you ever heard of this tournament before? I don't remember reading anything about it."
"I don't think it's in Hogwarts, A History," she admitted. "We can check during history class."
At the staff table, Dumbledore continued, "And finally, because of the tournament, the Quidditch tournament is cancelled this year."
The eruption of protests from all four tables drowned out the headmaster's attempts to regain control of the Great Hall for almost thirty minutes. The teachers protested as loudly as the students and even McGonagall, usually Dumbledore's most loyal minion, advised the Gryffindor students to write their protests and send them to the Daily Prophet and the Board of Governors for Hogwarts.
CHANGE SCENE && Balance of September 1994Harry paid attention each day to the drops of magic that fell out of the goblet and onto the floor of the Great Hall. No one else mentioned it so he played 'Slytherin' and kept the information to himself. The dependable Hogwarts A History merely listed historical Tri-Wizard Tournaments by dates without any details. Hermione went to the library to research after realizing it had been over a century since the tournament had been held.
The Daily Prophet carried the news about the missing Dementors beginning on the second day of the school year. This headline created panic across the whole of Magical Britain with articles about how to ensure the locks on doors and windows were Dementor proof. The DMLE had to respond to a hundred calls every day about Dementor sightings. The Daily Prophet reported that Minister Fudge was under tremendous pressure from the Wizengamot to find the monsters. The article also mentioned that Under-Under-Secretary Dolores Umbridge had been demoted to the position of waste management engineer for the Office of International Cooperation.
"Wonder why they didn't yell about the Dementors being here all of last year?" Harry asked his friends. No one understood and Harry wrote to Remus about the situation.
The reply from Uncle Moony promised to discuss the matter with Harry in detail at Christmas. The letter continued, 'Don't worry about it. The Dementors aren't around Hogwarts. Just enjoy a quiet year. Padfoot misses you!'
Before the end of September, Ron grew loud with his protests about Harry working with the firsties and second years with essays. He complained, "Mate if you want to do somebody's homework, do mine!"
Harry argued, "I'm not doing their homework, Ron. I am helping them with information that might help them understand…"
"I want to play chess…or go for a fly. All you want to do is study. You've turned into another Granger!"
To help the firsties and second-year students in Gryffindor, (and to help Harry improve his writing), Lavender Brown and Parvati Patil borrowed some tutoring plans from Hufflepuff and conducted lessons on writing with quills and ink on parchment. The new students did write their drafts on regular paper with biros before attempting to write the final drafts on parchment. McGonagall ignored the cooperation within her house, but the prefects awarded points to the fourth-year students who were tutoring the younger students.
DADA class was strangely good. Moody taught offensive spells as well as defensive shields. He demanded the Slytherin students behave properly in class and in the hallways. Draco Malfoy had been keeping a very low profile the entire first month of school and the strictures from the DADA professor simply reinforced that with the young wizard.
At the end of the month, The Daily Prophet reported that the Department of Mysteries had determined that the missing Dementors had been exterminated by some incredibly powerful wizard. Several members of the Wizengamot and the minister himself appeared at Hogwarts during lunch one day and yelled at Headmaster Dumbledore for destroying the Dementors and not telling anyone. The headmaster was forced more than once to swear that he had nothing to do with the disappearance of the dark creatures. The headmaster announced that he was worried that there was some unknown, powerful wizard loose in Britain.
"Don't blame this on He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, Dumbledore!" shouted Minister Fudge.
Frowning for the cameras as the photographers for the press made pictures for their next releases, Dumbledore replied, "Minister Fudge, you are the wizard who mentioned Lord Voldemort. I didn't, but do tell everyone, does the Ministry for Magic expect the Dark Lord to return?"
The headlines of the Daily Prophet for the next week screamed about Minister Fudge's worry that the Dark Lord (He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named) would return. Madam Bones, head of the DMLE only commented that there weren't any marked death eaters left free in Britain. The paper quoted her statement, 'We arrested all the Death Eaters again last year and this time they were questioned using veritaserum. They were all executed for their crimes – except for Lucius Malfoy who remains in a vegetative state, and for Severus Snape who is protected by Albus Dumbledore at Hogwarts. The Parkinson family vanished and apparently moved to somewhere in Europe. The only living Death Eaters are the ones imprisoned in Azkaban. If the Dark Lord was able to return, he would be friendless, and without any funds for food, robes, or potions.'
Harry noticed that Professor Moody grew very quiet and thoughtful when he read these headlines.
End of Chapter.