Disclaimer: I own nothing but my plot and characters
Chapter 24: Lost and Found
Wake up, Maranda, wake the hell up.
My mind is at war. Fighting the thoughts of those lips touching mine, trying to accept it and reject it at the same time. Severus Snape, Snake The Oxymoron, The Snake, Snakey-Snape... I loathed him. Last night he made me fall for him. Fall into a slight fixation of love. I hated love. I could kill him right now. I could shove him into a vat of acid and make him cry out, 'No! Don't hurt me! I will give you your heart back!' What fun it would be to hear him yell in agony. He has given me pain by taking my heart. By making me fall in love with him. I wanted revenge. But at the same time I wanted to tell everyone what happened and show off that I somehow got through to the Potions Master.
None of it made sense. Why would Snape kiss someone? He was not the kissing type. He wasn't even the dancing type. Not even the romantic type. Not even...liked. No one liked him, with the exception of me, but how would he know to attack me with his lips and not someone else? How would he know my feelings? Unless he just took it upon himself to kiss me randomly because of tension...No, that's not like him. But none of this was like him. And how in hell would he figure I was the one to kiss?
That bastard. My journal! It had to be my journal! He took it! How else would it have left the same night Snape put the moves on me..
Kissed me...
"Oh Hermione.." I whined as I entered the Great Hall for breakfast. Snape wasn't there.
She seemed very concerned, "What's wrong? You left the ball running last night. What's going on?"
"No one would believe me... I need to talk to all of you.. We should all meet in the teacher's lounge tonight."
"We have to go there anyways," She explained, "It's Christmas Eve and we have been invited to the professors' Christmas party. Snape should have told you about it."
My head dropped, "I still need to talk to all of you tonight. I would now, but it needs time to sink in. A Christmas party won't interfere."
I couldn't eat breakfast, so I sat there, staring at the floor. Shocking me, Snape burst through the hall doors and strode down the isle to our table. He sat in his seat and immediately I looked away. I would leave but Hermione would think the worst, and I didn't feel like being chased down and interrogated.
Thank whoever made time, for I only had to wait one more minute for breakfast's end. I told Mione I would see her later, and I left for the library.
"Miss Maguire!" Oh dear gods, not a good time to see anyone.. Luscius Malfoy stood before me in the library, towering over me as I knelt on the floor glancing at books.
"Hi, Mr. Malfoy," I greeted with faux happiness, "What's up?"
He reached out a hand to help me stand, "Nothing in particular, my dear. Draco invited me to the Christmas party tonight. He told me the only reason he wanted me there was so I could intimidate Lockhart. Do you think it will work?"
A short laugh escaped my mouth, "Hahaha, I think so. Lockhart is afraid of Snape, why wouldn't he be scared of you?" The mention of Snape made my heart jump into my throat.
Luscius glanced over a shelve of books and took one with silver binding, "One of my favorites. It's about revenge against one's family's deaths, but the person falls in love with the killer after he seduces her. Nothing good can come from that, can it?"
"No, I'm afraid not."
He handed me the book, "Why don't you read it?"
"I would," I was afraid to say no, "but I have a lot to read at the present time."
"Alright then, I know how to take no for an answer. I suppose I should read it again to touch up on my memory. For some reason I think I missed a part of the story."
A moment passed, so I started to look at the books again. Why was I in the love section again? Oh, because Snape is playing with my mind. Right.
In one swift movement, Luscius brushed his hand against my shoulder. I had worn a t-shirt despite the cold weather.
He smirked and said, "I guess I will see you tonight, Miss Maguire."
"Please," I was really sick of hearing my last name, "call me Maranda. I'm getting a little annoyed with my last name right now. Usually when it's used, I'm in trouble or about to be..." ...Or about to be seduced by the villain: Snape.
"Well, it's only fair then to let you use my first name, Luscius. I'll see you later on, Maranda." He grinned, turned around, and went to check his book out and leave. I wasn't aware that the Father of the Ferret could check out books here. I guess anyone could, as long as the school knew them.
My love for reading stayed strong, but I wanted to leave the library and go search for my journal. It had to be in my room somewhere. I was probably too upset last night to find it. Maybe it's lodged between my matresses or hidded in my clothing trunk.
The room I slept in. The room I thought in. It was a wreck. My clothes were spread about the room, cluttered in corners and tossed onto my bed. Even my dresses were scattered around, along with undergarments and socks. Papers were everywhere, and my bedsheets were awry.
"What the bloody igneous rocks in hell is going on?" I screamed at the top of my lungs. My wand was on the floor, next to my foot, and I picked it up. Thank fate it wasn't broken.
Since I screamed, obviously Snape heard me. He ran into my room and stated, "What're you shouting f-" He noticed the mess and sneered, "Who did this? How did this happen?"
Anger boiled inside of me. Could I, should I, would I dare blame him?
Before any answer rose to my mouth, Snape grabbed my wand. He said some incantations and cleaned up the mess. My clothes went back into their trunk, the papers went into my backpack, and any other mess was cleaned up. He was playing the hero again.
"Thanks..." I said after he gave me my wand back.
"I'm going to have to teach you those incantations at some point, Maranda." Snape smirked, but I looked away from him. I was not going to allow myself to fall for him again. he pressed on, "You need to come in my room for a moment. I think I might have found something for you."
Stupid me followed him into his room and approached his desk. He took something out of his drawer and handed it to me... My journal..
"You had my journal?" I was definitely angered.
Severus, the Bastard Snake, defended himself, "Peeves took it from you and for some reason dropped it in the men's bathroom. It was on a sink. I took it and brought it here."
"How'd you know it was mine?" I knew the answer, but needed to hear it for myself.
"I," He sighed, "had to flip through the pages to find your name. I honestly didn't read anything...Just looked for names."
And saw yours, didn't you? "When did you find it?"
"Last night, before the ball. I forgot to give it to you, though, until today."
"So you...but you..." I gulped, ready at last to know the truth, "You saw your name, didn't you?"
He seemed to turn a shade of red, but I must have been seeing things. In his usual deathly voice, he replied, "I may have, but I didn't read anything. Although, my name did appear many times... Why is that?"
"Why did you kiss me?" I answered a question with a question. I knew I would ask sooner or later.
A moment went by with no answer, and then Snape bombed his words on me, "Alright...I read one page..It was a poem...It caught my eye..Had some significant meaning.. Then I pieced some puzzle pieces together and realized something. And so I took it upon myself to give you something to write about. So I kissed you...Danced with you... Felt like I owed you soething interesting to dwell on."
"Bastard..You bastard...You kissed me for entertainment? You..." I raised my voice, "You led me to believe you kissed me for some good reason, and then you tear that romance up like a bad test paper. What am I to you, an experiment? Do you find it amusing that I have no life and like to express myself in a journal? You probably didn't even get the journal from Peeves, did you? You went through my things and found it.. Let me guess, you destroyed my room too, just to add some spice to your experiment!"
"I didn't touch your room. You are so lost, aren't you? Don't you understand that Peeves has been tormenting you all year long? It's not my fault I found your journal!"
My hands clenched tightly, I yelled, "You are nothing! You trick me with this kind side of you and then rip it to shreds with the jackass you prove yourself to be! What the bloody aching, coughing crap are you doing? You enjoy torturing me? You are a moronic, no-good, evil, malicious, bastardous, thick-headed oxymoron! That's right! If you read my journal, you would know what your nickname is! Snake the Oxymoron..." My heart was pounding through my chest. I wanted to kill him.. I wanted to strangle him.. I wanted to squeeze him to death.. I wanted to crush him with my lips as he did to me, but harder. So hard I would draw blood.
"How dare you! I knew enough not to read it! So what if I read a bloody poem? It was great! And you think for a second that a nickname will hurt me, you are wrong. Why don't you go back to the orphanage where you belong? I'm sure one of the boys there will love to kiss you.. I'm sure they'd understand your ethics on not believing in love!"
"You flogging read my journal! How else would you know what my ethics are?" I was about to punch him in the stomach.. I swear on Merlin's beard I am about to jump on him and strangle the life from him.
Snape stepped closer to me, towering over me. No, this would not effect my feelings of hatred towards him.. "How else is anyone going to get to know you? We have to suffer with your denial and avoidance all the time! Maybe I want to know your ethics! Maybe I want to hear your poems! You are selfish! You write everything in this journal and hide it from the world. What about sharing? I don't even think you tell your friends how you feel!"
"You don't know what I say to my friends! I don't like sharing information because of people like you! You take my dreams and mock them. Take my thoughts and mock them. If anyone is selfish, it is you! You go around everyday and say nothing more than simple conversation. I am surprised you even talk to me! What the hell is your problem? You have no right to make fun of me! You are far worse than I will ever be. And don't you dare speak of my orphanage again. You do not know what went on!" Oh, my blood was boiling.. About to burst.
He was no farther than an inch from me, breathing down my neck. "I have every right to say anything to you. I am older and wiser."
"Not quicker!" I shouted before my fist flung at his stomach. He doubled over in pain, but grabbed my hand in his. I tried to leave, run, but couldn't move. His grip was hard, as if he was going to rip my hand off.
"Let go you serpentile jerk!" My shouts were louder than anything.
I pulled on him, trying to set me free. In a sharp movement, he yanked me closer, able to feel his body. He placed his arm behind my back, but still held onto my arm that hit him. He forced me into another lip-locking torture session. His lips crushed mine, harsh and painful. He let go of my arm, which immediately flung to the back of his head. If he wanted to kiss me, he would pay. I brought his head closer to mine, if that was possible, and kissed him just as hard. He jerked his head away from me, as if I was not supposed to even think about kissing him back. It was his fault, for burnt bread's sakes!
"Leave!" He screamed at me.
I was still being held by him. "How can I go, Professor?"
He dropped his hand from my back. I ran to the door, turned around and flipped him off. Then I ran in no particular direction.
What the hell was going on? Oh, I knew I forgot my journal there, in his room, but I didn't care anymore. He could read it. Obviously he knew I loved him, so what did it matter? I would be scarred for life. Good God, he kissed me again. Severus Snape..bastard.
Tonight would approach quickly, but for the time being, a good nap int the Hospital Wing sounded good for me. Hell, a good year or two knocked out sounded good.
Damn, I am in a mess.
