Xxxroxyxxx: I adore Mir/San just a little too much. The plot is coming up shortly… but it is taking a while to think out thoroughly so that not everything seems to happen coincidentally.
Crimson Yuki: I am NOT a pro. It took me about 5 years of practice to be able to type out half decent descriptions and when I first started writing, I couldn't even type out a decent beginning. It was rather pathetic. It takes practice. I'm kind of learning that as I go along in this story. The PoF does approximately 11 pages for each chapter, but she usually has at least 8 or 9 chapters written ahead on paper, plus her plots are more… complicated. She's also been on for much longer than I have.
Closer-than-Fate: I'm glad you like the story so far.
The next day, we decided to stop and take a rest at the next village. We had heard of some festival going on called the Ishitawa, so Kagome asked Inuyasha not so sweetly if we could stop by for a short while. After all, we had been searching for jewel shards non-stop the past week, and it would be nice to think about other things besides demons, shards, Kohaku, Kikyou, and Naraku. Anything that involved any major fighting or some time dedicated to thorough thinking and planning was also on the list.
Inuyasha did the usual. Complaining, grumbling, and mumbling insults under his breath, he glared at the ground. It was quite amusing to watch him be slammed into it as a result of Kagome's impatience.
Kagome clearly won the argument with that simple command she liked to use so often. We headed into the village as two little kids ran up to us. One, about the age of eight, ran up to Kagome. He had an aqua coloured sleeveless shirt on, light blue shorts and brown sandals. Beside him was a little girl, about the age of six. She too had a sleeveless shirt on, a light pinkish colour, and white shorts as she ran up to me.
"My name's Kirishi!" she introduced herself. She pointed to the young boy beside her. "And this is -"
" - Satoshi," the young boy supplied, cutting her off. "Onee-chan, I can speak for myself, you know."
An older woman came up to him, placing one hand on each of their shoulders. She had friendly eyes and short black hair, accompanied by a warm smile. Her clothing consisted of a silver kimono with the outlines of cherry blossom designs. The insides of the designs were a golden copper.
"I'm sorry, please excuse them," she said politely, but firmly. She motioned for them to head back into the hut.
"But Mom!" Satoshi protested, glancing back at the group a few times as he was led back into the hut.
Kirishi made a noise of complaint. "No! I want to play with the doggy ears on that -"
She was quickly silenced as the woman covered her mouth, well aware of the death glare the hanyou was sending the girl, despite Kagome's assurances that he wouldn't do any harm to anyone. "Kirishi-san, your manners! I will call you when you can talk to them. Satoshi, I want you to keep your sister busy while I welcome the visitors."
She headed back outside, looking at each of them in turn for only a moment as she introduced herself. "Once again, please excuse their lack of manners. My name is Hiromi. Those were my two children, Kirishi and Satoshi. I believe you wanted to stay for the night?"
"Hold on a minute!" Inuyasha interrupted rather rudely. "How come we're getting off easy at this place?" He glared at the monk, who grinned and put his hands up in defence. He looked innocent enough, but then again, he always tried to look that way whenever one of us accused him for something like that.
Kagome made a noise of disapproval at his attitude, grabbing his sleeve and hissing in a furious whisper, "Inuyasha! Be glad we don't have to convince them to let us stay for once! We could all use a good night's rest… under shelter." But I could understand Inuyasha's suspicion about this idea. Almost all of the villages were extremely hesitant (not to mention suspicious) about letting a hanyou in their midst, especially overnight. Also, a group consisting of a priestess, a monk, a demon slayer, and a young kitsune was not exactly what you would call common in these areas.
Miroku spoke up, making all of our assumptions true. "Well… she did mention there was a demon going around, trying to control the dead. Hiromi-san said there were many attacks in the past week, so I said we would get rid of it for a night's stay. No bargains this time, I promise!" He looked honest for once as we turned to shoot frustrated looks at him.
"Houshi-sama, you do know we stopped by here to have a rest from the demons, not to fight one overnight?" I asked him, twitching. There had to be another reason for his so-called offer. Miroku never made offers specifically for the enjoyment of doing good deeds for others, just like Inuyasha.
"Well… uh," he stammered, feeling my frustration build up. "I did think about, uh, asking her if she would -"
"Save your pathetic excuse for a lineage, Houshi-sama," I said, just a little bit more than annoyed now. Shippou leaped on Kagome's shoulder, well out of the way of my wrath if I felt like whacking him with Hiraikotsu. It did feel pretty tempting, but I resisted the urge to; I didn't want the villagers of this place to think we were strange, as these villagers were the first not to give us suspicious looks just because we were travelling around with a hanyou. Not only that, we looked strange just because we were a group.
"So, are we going to this festival thing?" the kitsune piped up. Kagome smiled at him as she walked into the main area of the village.
"That was the plan." She gave the hanyou a meaningful glance, then gave Hiromi a cheery smile. "I'm sorry for not introducing my name. I'm Kagome. This is Shippou."
I headed over to where Miroku was, roughly grabbing him by his sleeve. "I'm Sango, and this is Houshi-sama."
"Miroku," he corrected me lightly. I thought I saw a flash of hurt go through his eyes, but maybe I was just imagining things. I knew full well he was called Miroku, but I didn't use his name. If I did…
"And this -" Kagome pointed to the hanyou. "- is Inuyasha. He won't hurt anyone, he just seems like a bad guy."
"I'm sure," Hiromi laughed, leading us all up to the village inn. As Kagome, Shippou, Miroku and I headed in, I glimpsed Inuyasha behind me, looking around and sniffing the air, the slightest frown on his face. It was look that suggested there could be something unusual within range, but I didn't sense anything. Then again, I am a slayer, not a half-demon. I don't have the extra sense of smell or range of hearing to detect anything unusual like he can.
She led us down the hallway, and pointed to two rooms beside each other. Inuyasha flushed and looked anywhere but at Kagome, but nevertheless he dragged her into the room along with Shippou. I was careful not to reveal anything in my gaze as I looked at Miroku. It was hard to tell what he was thinking, but I was pretty sure it had something to do with one room, a bed, and a certain taijiya beside him.
"Don't even think about it," I snuck under my breath. Much to my amusement, he looked embarrassed for once, then hurt. Had I done something wrong? Trying to ignore this bad feeling in my stomach that was not necessarily caused by Miroku, I tried to take control of this rather dangerously perverted situation. I knew it would provide the monk with an opportunity to "check me out" and I was not about to let him do so.
"Could we have two separate rooms, please?" I requested. Hiromi first gave Miroku a questioning glance, then she looked directly at me, as if she could almost read my thoughts simply by the cautious expression on my face.
"Why? Aren't you two -" Hiromi started to ask, but I cut her off as soon as I realized where her sentence was going.
"No, we're not," I said, but once again, as I snuck a side glance at Miroku, I noticed it this time: there was a faint flicker of hurt going through his eyes. Hiromi looked sceptical.
"Are you sure you wouldn't prefer a room together?" she asked yet again, making me feel more awkward and embarrassed by the minute. I chanced another look at Miroku to see if he had anything to say, but his gaze had switched to the engraved kanji on the walls, making it clear that he thought I had perfect control of this situation. Unfortunately, the control I thought I had was now slipping out of my hands. Hiromi probably thought we used to be a couple, or were denying any feelings towards each other, which was awfully close to the truth. If I managed to convince her that we weren't a couple, then when she did leave us alone in a room together, Miroku and I would probably feel like we were purposefully avoiding each other.
"I'm -" I opened my mouth again, starting to wish I had never spoken in the first place, but then I cut myself off and looked away. I was sure a dull flush was rising in my cheeks. "Never mind. We'll take a room together. I'm sorry to be wasting your time," I said quietly.
She raised her eyebrows, apparently a bit bewildered at my sudden change of mind. After a moment, she regained her hostess attitude and pointed us to the other room. "Let me know if you need anything," she said, obviously wanting to get away from us. I sighed and entered the room.
It was quite plain, which is to be expected since we were at an inn, and not in our own house or anything. Bare wooden walls surrounded the dusty floor, and a double bed, with its headrest to the right, was against the wall, leaving adequate space on both sides for each person to put down their belongings. There was a window, but only a small one, and it was dusty as well, looking like it hadn't been washed in years. The dim light coming in seemed to dull at the other side of the glass, creating a blurred effect of greyish light and shadows to spread along the walls.
I placed my bag and Hiraikotsu near the wall, making sure Hiraikotsu was balanced so it wouldn't fall over. I could hear Miroku doing the same as he headed to the opposite side of the bed that was closest to the window. He was silent, and I turned around to look at him, my sleeping robes folded over in my arms as I placed them on the bed. I wasn't about to change with him in the room!
"Houshi-sama," I asked, wondering if I should even try to head in this direction of conversation. "You're - you're not angry with me, are you?"
"Angry with you?" he repeated, looking up. I couldn't detect any emotion in his eyes as he straightened up, carrying his own robes in his arms. "No. Why would I be?" His voice was mild, so he didn't seem angry, although if Miroku was angry he would hide it from me until he had a chance to calm himself in meditation.
"What I said back there…" I bit my lower lip in nervousness as I realized I wasn't sure what I was going to say. Instead, I started to head out of the room in an attempt to get away from the slight tension in the room. "I'm just going to the washroom to change."
"Then I guess I'll get undressed in here," he said, no trace of the hentai humour I had come to know and love, in his voice. As I left, I couldn't help feeling that I had disappointed him. Not because I left, but because I doubted his trust.
A few minutes later I returned and knocked on the door. He let me in, already having changed himself. I went over to the bed, about to sit down, but he put his hands on my shoulders in a gentle grasp, effectively stopping me. "Houshi-sama?" My voice sounded so small.
Miroku turned me around to face him, which I did. In fact, I did more than just stare at him; I noticed the intensity of his eyes, how bright and cheery they could seem during the day, whenever we fooled around. I also noticed the way the shadows were reflected in his eyes, making their depths seem more mysterious, hiding secrets I would never be able to understand.
For a long moment, there was only silence. I swear he could probably hear my heart pounding as his fingers slowly moved from the white material on my shoulder to the side of my neck, his fingers tracing a path up the skin to cup the side of my jaw. I could feel the prayer beads pressing lightly into my skin. I was starting to have trouble breathing.
"Is it really that dangerous to be around me?" he asked softly.
I realized with a jolt of surprise that this man, this monk, in front of me was not the same person I travelled with. This was a completely different side of Miroku, the side that I was sometimes able to glimpse at night when I woke up for a few seconds in between my dreams about Kohaku or Father. This was the Miroku that wanted to stop caring about whether he had to destroy Naraku to be rid of Kazaana, and just enjoy life for what it had to offer.
"No… it's just that…" I stammered like a fool, hoping that the room was dark enough to hide the blush that had deepened to a shade of red, colouring my cheeks. "I don't think - I mean, it's nothing about - I just -"
He smiled gently, making me blush more. "Is there something wrong?" he teased lightly, his other hand gradually moving down from my shoulder to my waist and settling there. He seemed to be able to read my thoughts as he swiftly told me, "I'm not going to try anything. Please Sango, just trust me this once." His voice was low and his face was close enough to mine that I could just feel his breath along the front of my jaw.
"What are you doing?" I asked, my voice just a bit cautious as to why he was talking this way. I was surprised at how shy I sounded, then again I had never been in a relationship before. Sure, I knew he liked me and wanted to keep it hidden from the others, as did I, but why would he deliberately try to advance our relationship? Why now? What made this time so different from the other times?
"I just want to…" Unable to explain his feelings, he leaned forward, catching me off guard and pressing his lips to mine in a gentle kiss, much like the one we had shared on the road about a day ago. After the slight shock wore off, I relaxed, trying to enjoy the kiss as much as possible, knowing that as soon as tomorrow came, Miroku and I would be back to our old selves, playing the letch and the taijiya who would slap in response. That thought darkened my mood, and I moved away, sitting on the bed. Why was I allowing him to - to do something like this to me? He was practically seducing me, and I was letting him! Anger clouded my thoughts, until I realized that I wasn't angry at him; I was angry at myself for letting it come to this.
"Don't - don't do this."
He was confused and it showed as he sat down beside me, trying to put an arm around my shoulders. "Don't do what?"
"Miroku," I warned, shifting away from me. The monk looked at the expression on my face, and his expression faltered briefly.
"You're serious," he said after a long pause, seeming to recover from my lack of response. "You don't want…?"
"No." The word barely came out in a whisper.
I hate lying to Miroku. I hate lying to anyone unless it is a dire emergency, like a death situation. Also, I've never had to lie or disguise the truth to any of my friends before, but this… hurt. I wasn't just lying to Miroku, the monk I had come to love before I even realized it myself, but to myself. I wanted a relationship with him, yet I had to act like I didn't. It hurt me so much that I almost stopped myself from opening my mouth. I was afraid that if I fell in love, and the Kazaana took him away from me… God, how selfish was I!
I wanted my brother back alive, just so I wouldn't have to be by myself, but now I had Miroku. I wanted Miroku to be rid of his curse so that I could live with him… so I wouldn't be alone. It all came back to being alone. Sure, I love Kagome like a sister and Inuyasha does care about me immensely, even though I know he would never even admit that he loves Kagome, let alone say that he treasures us like true friends. But Miroku… he was different. I just can't describe it.
"Sango." The sound of his voice brought me back down to earth, and what our current situation was. "What's wrong?"
I made the mistake of glancing at him, and as I did, his expression became slightly panicked and concerned. Shit. I was crying again, wasn't I! Damn emotions. I moved my hand up to wipe away my tears, and perhaps to cover my face so he couldn't see me crying, but he caught my hand, squeezing it slightly. Slowly I shifted closer to him, although not close enough for him wrap his arms around me.
"Did I do something wrong?" he asked.
"No. It's me," I answered, tears blurring my vision. Why the hell did I have to care so much for a guy that was fated to die so soon! It just wasn't fair. I used my other hand to wipe away the tears that had escaped down my cheek, trying to take control of my emotions and be the strong taijiya that he saw during the day. But when we have close moments like these… I can't help but think of the possibilities that could happen, and the ways that they could so easily be destroyed, and I would be alone again. I hate crying in front of anyone else, but I hated myself even more for making Miroku worry about me. "I'm sorry."
He moved closer, wrapping an arm around my shoulders and closing the space between us even more. "Why?"
"For… for this." How could I explain it to him? How could I tell him, that over the past year, through all our stupid fights of him being the lecher and me hiding from the others, I had cared about him more than anyone else? I had grown to love him. But I couldn't tell him that. He would never…
"Why were you crying?" he asked. By this time, I had calmed down considerably, and I moved closer, letting me embrace me. His arm stayed around my shoulders, holding me gently, while his other arm went around my body. My arms wrapped around his waist.
Why had I cried? I couldn't very well tell him that I had cried because of the fact that I loved him. I couldn't. Not only would he think that I was just fooling around to see if he really did care aboutme in the same way, but if I told him, and the others found out… even Naraku, Kagura and Kanna would eventually find out. That stupid mirror of hers could see anything miles away. If they were to found out that the monk and I had a deeper relationship than what they suspected, they would use it for their advantage. They would twist our love around and make us try to hate each other. Now while that was something I could never do, especially to Miroku, the thought scared me. I didn't answer.
"Sango… " He sounded tired. "Were you thinking about your brother?"
I forced my voice to work. "No."
"Then what's wrong? What were you thinking about?"
"I… I'm just worried. About everything," I said. At least part of that was true. I was worried, but mainly about me and Miroku being together. I could never tell him that… not unless Naraku was defeated.
"Don't be. I know it sounds a bit strange coming from me, but don't be. If you need to talk to me about anything… I'm here," he said quietly.
That was the one thing I was afraid of: talking to him personally.
We got up bright and early the next morning. Well, early anyway, but certainly not bright. I was in a grumpy mood, and not too cooperative about getting out of bed. Yes, Miroku and I had shared a bed the night before, but I rolled right over to the other side, and he stayed on his side, not taking advantage of our situation. For that I was grateful.
Kagome and her ideas. Hiromi-san told us the Ishitawa would be taking place early afternoon. Shippou was very happy about getting a chance to party and have some fun. Inuyasha did not want to be convinced to do such a carefree thing, as he liked to call it.
"It's such a waste of time when we could be looking for more jewel shards!" he said in an annoyed tone. "I'm not about to do something as stupid as this. Besides, you haven't found any shards in the past week. You should be -"
Kagome sighed and said the command to send him into the ground. There wasn't really any other way to get him to shut up.
Miroku kept glancing at me, as if he were afraid that I would bring the conversation from last night back up. I had never been so emotional around him before, and he wasn't quite sure how to handle it. I did trust him to a certain extent, and while he would use any opportunity to grope any girl, especially me whether he felt like the situation needed to be lightened, I would trust him with my life.
After all, it was only Miroku being himself. What else could I expect from him?
Kirishi and Satoshi met up with us again at the festival. Kirishi was a very happy child, always willing to talk about everything and anything as long as she had her listener's undivided attention. Satoshi was the quiet sibling. He was a happy kid like her, and it was obvious that Kirishi looked up to him as her big brother. She was always smiling, and being young, she was full of energy during the afternoon, often asking the group questions. Satoshi stood beside his mother, watching his younger sibling run around us.
For the first time in months, we allowed ourselves to relax. Well, as close to "relaxing" as much as we could, since a half-demon, miko, monk, kitsune and taijiya are not exactly a group of people you'd find lazing around when there are demons on the loose and could attack you at any moment. "Fun" was also a word we weren't exactly familiar with, since we were constantly travelling, and didn't usually have the time to really get to know the people at the villages we saved.
Inuyash, not being one for huge social gatherings, especially since a lot of people usually had the habit of staring at him or his doggy ears, sulked by a tree, sending glares in my friend's direction, but she pretended not to notice, giggling and playing with Shippou.
As I stood there watching, slightly out from the noisy crowd of people dancing and doing various other things, it was then that a strange feeling overtook me. My vision went slightly blurred at the edges, almost like faint waves at the edges of my sight trying to blend into what I saw, and my senses were dulled. Everything sounded slightly muffled, like the noise was coming through a tunnel but I couldn't quite make out the words.
I felt slightly dizzy, almost unbalanced in an odd way, even though I was standing perfectly still, trying to figure out what the hell was happening to me. Suddenly I stumbled forward as the earth spun around me. Neither Kagome and Shippou noticed, and Inuyasha had leapt up to a particularly high tree branch, away from all the cheery commotion, not wanting to be involved in such a "time-wasting" activity, as he usually called things like this. But of course the ever so persistent monk noticed.
"Sango, are you feeling okay?" he asked me, putting an arm around my shoulder to steady me.
"I'm fine, why?" I answered, shaking my head slightly to clear it of the blurriness.
"Just making sure. You looked like you were spacing out," he said, his arm snaking downwards, the same old grin back on his face. So much for actual concern.
The force of my slap caught Kagome's attention. She sighed and looked at Miroku, who grinned back at her almost sheepishly. "I don't think you've hit him hard enough with Hiraikotsu yet. He still hasn't learned to keep his hands to himself."
The monk forced a laugh as my hand grasped the strap of Hiraikotsu. I shot a glare at him. "I don't think he has the brains to figure it out, Kagome-chan. If I told him to, I'd just be wasting my breath because I don't think he would ever consider that much towards my feelings." Once again, as I said this, remembering all the other times he had tried to make advances upon other women and I had whacked him over the head, I thought I saw a flash of pain flicker behind the perverted smile he wore. However, just like the last time, I ignored it. "You never learn."
I looked at Kagome, who was wearing an expression of mild frustration. She looked from me to him. "Miroku-sama," she said as I brushed past her, "You know, one of these days you're going to overdo it and she won't talk to you again."
Shippou looked up, bored of the conversation already. "You touch her there again?" he asked in a casual tone of voice, shaking his head. "Even I know when enough is enough."
I headed back to the side area, away from all the commotion. My temper needed to cool down. Stupid monk. He should have known better than to try and touch my ass. Inuyasha glanced at me, aware of the anger radiating from my aura, but tried not to look interested.
"Miroku being a jackass again?" he asked in his usual gruff manner.
"Like you're one to talk," I shot back at him. He scowled at me in response. Well, it was true. He was enough of a jerk himself when Kikyou appeared, always unintentionally hurting my friend's feelings whether he realized it or not.
Now he looked offended. He could dish out insults without thinking about the actual effect of his words on someone who cared about him, but he couldn't take any? "What?" I smiled innocently at him. He didn't say anything but looked away, glaring at the crowd.
Miroku came over after a few minutes, looking somewhat apologetic. "I'm sorry, my dear Sango," he said, taking my hand. "I just could not resist touching such a lovely -"
"Houshi-sama," I warned.
He grinned. "Would you prefer it if I touched Kagome-sama instead?" Before I was able to scold him for even saying something like that, Inuyasha grabbed the front of Miroku's robes tightly, not enough to shove him to the ground, but with enough force to make him stumble backwards a bit.
"Do it, and die," he growled, making Miroku's eyes widen slightly.
"Calm down Inuyasha, I was just kidding!" Miroku protested as the hanyou let go, still snarling a bit, clearly showing that he did not like that type of joke. Inuyasha had never had what you would call a sense of humour, but when it came to Kagome, he was always protecting her.
"You're not touching Kagome," Inuyasha warned, "unless you want your hand ripped off."
"I heard you," Miroku said, the smile fading from his face. "Like I said, I was just kidding around. Sango is a unique girl -" this I blushed at "- and I should make sure she knows it."
My blush deepened slightly as I raised my hand in mock anger as if I was really considering on slapping him for what he was applying in that statement. "Oh yeah? How about you make sure to show me that in a way that doesn't involve your wandering hands, or else you can be sure that I'll show you the part of me that isn't unique!"
He backed away, both hands up in the air as a sign of defeat. "I'm only kidding!" Kagome and Shippou just shook their heads.
"He'll never learn," Shippou said, exchanging exasperated glances with Kagome.
"I had such hopes, too… you know, maybe just for Sango-chan he'd -"
"You mean there is hope for him?" Shippou asked in faked surprise. Miroku twitched, then turned to face Shippou, moving his staff quickly to whack the little guy on the head. Shippou let out a yelp of, "Eek!", then jumped behind Kagome, who sighed and put her hand to her head. It was going to be a long afternoon if we had to restrain Inuyasha, Shippou and Miroku every five minutes.
Later that night, we settled down back at the inn. It had been a relatively peaceful afternoon (minus the fighting and arguing) for most of us, and for once my muscles weren't aching from fighting demons all day. It would have been nice to have a chat with Kagome-chan in the hot springs, but then again, there was nothing else to keep Miroku occupied from trying to peek in on us. Kami only knows how many whacks that houshi can take until he learns or his brain is permanently damaged. I never hit him that hard, anyway. Well, most of the time, that is. Sometimes, when I lost my temper with Hiraikotsu in my grasp, he would usually be knocked unconscious, only to try and grope me no more than 10 minutes later.
We had stood in the hallway for a few minutes, debating who would sleep in the same rooms together. As usual, Inuyasha and Kagome took a room together along with Shippou. Inuyasha refused to be separated from Kagome (even if he didn't state it like that), saying that he should stay with her again in case there was danger around.
"Maybe he wants to make sure Houshi-sama doesn't touch her again," I said, just quiet enough so that the other members of our group would hear. Both the hanyou and monk turned a nice shade of red. Kagome blushed faintly and looked away, avoiding my gaze and Inuyasha's.
"The only danger is Miroku," Shippou said firmly, and I laughed. Miroku looked directly at me, a look of faint amazement in his eyes. It was my turn to blush and look away, except that now the others were taking turns to stare at him, then me.
"Well, maybe we should get some sleep," Kagome said a bit hastily, grabbing Inuyasha's sleeve and forcing him to head into the room just down the hall from ours. He shot her a sulky look but allowed himself to be pushed into the room, accompanied with Shippou and the sound of a closing door.
I followed Miroku into the room and took my sleeping robes from on top of the bed, preparing to get undressed. "Alright, this time, you're leaving the room while I get undressed. You're not staying in here, and I don't want to leave to get changed." I turned around to find him gazing at me, and I blushed faintly, suddenly feeling self-conscious.
"What?"
"I like the sound of your laugh, that's all," he said, not sounding blunt. "I like it when you're happy, Sango."
I looked at him, the blush thankfully fading. "What? You like… the sound… of - of my laugh?" I repeated slowly, expressing confusion. What did he mean by that?
"It's just that you're not usually a happy, carefree person, Sango," he explained, coming closer to me. "I can understand why you're not… but I like to see you happy once in a while."
"Houshi-sama? I… " My throat was starting to feel dry at the closeness and I had to resist the urge to look away.
Now his hands were on my shoulders. "Do you remember what I told you that day when you thought I was dying after I sucked in the poison from the Saimyoushou so you could go after your brother?"
"Yes… to smile," I recited, picturing his face when he was sick or weakened from the poison.
His voice was lower as he tilted my chin upwards to meet his. "I don't want you to be upset all the time, Sango. I don't want to see you in pain. I want you to be happy." I didn't get a chance to reply as his mouth covered mine, his lips soft against mine. The robes were forgotten as he held me closer, his fingers sliding up the back of my neck to tangle through my hair. I melted into him, wanting more of his touch. I put my arms around his neck, wanting to feel more of his body against mine, so warm and comfy. My pulse had quickened from the sensation of being kissed by him, as well as my breathing. That is, if I was still breathing…
Suddenly, he broke it, looking a bit embarrassed at his actions. "Kami, Sango. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to do that." He met my gaze, then looked away.
"No, it's okay," I reassured him, giving him a shy smile. "I didn't mind." I really did enjoy every moment of it, but there was no way I would actually admit it out loud. Besides, I didn't want to give him any other ideas, as most of the things he considered to be "close" usually turned out to be perverted. "But I think we should really get some sleep -" He grinned as my gaze went to the robes and I picked them up again, whacking him across the chest with them. "- you pervert! We're not doing anything! Your idea of sleeping and mine are two totally different things, so get your head out of the gutter, Miroku!"
He continued to grin and sat down on the bed. "Oh, I know. So, are you going to get undressed?"
I sent him a death glare. "With you in the room?" I shot back. "Not in the same room as you, and certainly not in front of you!"
"We don't have to get undressed to get in bed together, you know."
"Oh yeah? And how would you know any details regarding that kind of situation, eh Houshi-sama?"
"I don't. At least, not any of the deeper ones, my dear Sango. But I could teach you what I do know."
"HENTAI!"
It was much later, perhaps during the middle of the night, that I woke up. I sat up, staring across the bed to look at the wall, but not really seeing it. The blurriness and dizziness that had had its momentary little spell on me earlier, whatever it was, was back. Without meaning to, I got up and slowly headed out of the room, almost like in a daze. I couldn't stop myself; it was like my body would not listen to the commands I gave it. It felt like something was trying to take control of my body, but hadn't quite succeeded. I could move, but not much, and my resistance to whatever was trying to take full control was weakened considerably. I didn't understand how this had happened. There was no demon around, how would it have entered my body? And why was I still able to think of my own free will? I wished Miroku would wake up and try to prevent me from leaving. Unfortunately, he was still asleep, the movement of the blankets moving up and down ever so slight as he breathed in and out. Whatever I was about to do… I knew I wouldn't like it.
I headed down the hall and stopped in front of a small door, looking at it. My hand slowly reached for the doorknob and turned it to open the door a crack. I looked through, or rather, the thing that was trying to control me was, made me look through the crack. I could just make out a tiny body huddled under the covers. Quietly I moved forward, entering the room. A realization struck me as I moved across the room like a living, breathing shadow.
This is Kirishi's room. The little girl Kagome-chan and I talked to earlier! What am I doing in here?
I stood by the side of her bed. For a moment, the control placed upon my body seemed to weaken as I took in the features of her innocent, sweet face. Her hair, not tied back in the ponytail, flowed smoothly over her shoulder, half of her body facing upwards almost at an angle, part of it facing sideways. Her soft, relaxed breathing sounded rhythmic. Obviously she was dreaming; a faint smile played at the corners of her mouth.
I tried to move, to walk away, but the control regained itself before I had a chance to actually move away from the bed. It forced me on top of the bed to a spot where I wouldn't wake her up by accidentally sitting on her legs. The creature now had almost full control of me as my hands grabbed a nearby pillow. By this time, I knew what it was planning and I was going to fight it with all my strength.
No! I am not doing this!
The fluffy, yet deadly material was stuffed roughly against her mouth so her screams were muffled. She frowned and tried to move her face from the object suffocating her, and made a sleepy noise of protest. Her eyes started to open a bit in alarm, the drowsiness fading quickly as she realized what was happening to her was, in fact, not in her dream.
Stop it! I don't want to do this! Why are you doing this to me?
To my horror, a soft voice replied in my mind. It was low, and sounded inhuman, like two or three different voices talking at once using tones of insanity. It was barely more than a whispered threat, but I heard it clearly, and it seemed to freeze the blood in my veins because I knew it was a lethal thing. A creature, unlike any other the group had fought before.
Quiet, human.
No! I want to know why you're doing this! You're going to hurt her - through me?
Of course. That is the only good way to spill blood, human.
It knew. It knew I was a taijiya.
I know a lot of things about you. I know each of the members of the group that you travel with. Inuyasha, Kagome, Shippou, and Miroku. I know that you would do anything to save their lives. So unless you want me to force you back to the room with the monk, I suggest you keep quiet and let me do my work.
I felt my wrist flick, the secret dagger popping out and flashing in the dim room just as Kirishi focused her gaze, any trace of sleepiness gone. However, the pillow blocked any sounds out, so like the thing had predicted, she was unable to scream for help. Any movement was restricted by my hand holding her arm down and my body sitting on top of hers. Her eyes widened in pure terror as she saw the knife flash, hovering inches above the skin on her neck.
No. You're not going to do this! I won't let you! Stop trying to force me to do this!
My anger, and the fact that I was about to do something so terrible as this, gave me the strength to fight back. My wrist shook for a moment, my grip tightening around the handle as I fought it. My entire body was bracing itself against the struggle.
What makes killing a human any different from all the demons you have killed?
She is only a child! A human being actually has emotions and the ability to love. The demons don't have anything - they are pure evil.
You are still spilling blood. A demon is still a creature, even if it is considered an evil one. It still has a right to live because it does not know killing is wrong. Killing is all it knows.
You're a demon! Demons don't have the right to live! Demons are pure evil! Evil is wrong simply by being itself! So why are you taking control of me?
Because you slay demons. Your friends will never know that I am inside of you. They won't be able to tell the difference. If you tell them - I will make sure to kill them in their sleep, and they will never know it wasn't you.
Bastard.
That was the only insult that could describe what I was feeling; immense anger and hatred against it. The creature was trying to force the blade downward, into the girl's chest, but it wasn't working. I couldn't let it take Kirishi-san's life. I just couldn't. She was only a little girl…
You are despicable. Why do you enjoy killing so much? Who are you!
Am I? I live off the blood of humans. I am just trying to keep myself alive… is that so wrong?
It is when you have to kill another for your own selfish reasons, especially when you have to take the life of a human to do it.
Be quiet, and let me finish my job. You are only human, so you wouldn't understand.
I don't want to understand the mind of something that enjoys killing others! Get out of my mind!
The hatred of the thing made it exceptionally stronger for a few minutes, so I had no choice but to watch as the knife slit the girl's throat, blood spilling down the sides of her throat to stain the sheets. As I cut through other various parts of her body, my hand shook, partly due to fear of what I was doing, and partly from my weak attempts at resistance.
When I was done, her eyes stared lifelessly at the ceiling and an increasing pool of blood was gathering behind her limp body. Her blood was on my hands.
Now I had full control of my body, but what could I do? Wash all the blood off? I could wash it off, but I would never get the feel of it off of my skin. It would be a constant reminder of what I had done. Now I knew how Inuyasha felt that time when he slew all the soldiers, their blood all over his claws.
I took a step towards the door, then I ran into the hall. And stopped dead in my tracks. Miroku and Inuyasha stood there, their faces wearing similar looks of confusion and perhaps slight suspicions as their gazes travelled downwards.
Then I realized that the knife attached to my wrist was still out.
I realize that this chapter took much longer than a week or two to get out… but between reading updated fanfics, working on my summatives and other music stuff in my so-called "real" life, and also not having much free time other than my online hour, I haven't had very many chances to type this out. So, seeing as I have two huge summatives to get out of the way and a piano festival and an exam, the next chapters will take a long while… possibly one chapter for every 3 weeks, or even later. It all depends on how much schoolwork I get done. The next chapter isn't even completely finished yet… ;
