AN: Again, thank you to everyone leaving reviews!
Part 7
Buffy's hands twisted nervously in her lap as she sat in the passenger seat of Angel's car, giving terse, one-word directions to their destination. She hadn't been able to get a hold of Faith all day. She hadn't even been able to get through to her friend's voice mail. All she'd gotten were numerous 'out-of-range' messages. Where the hell was Faith? And what the hell was she going to do now that she hadn't been able to warn her?
The shit was really going to hit the fan if what she thought was going to happen really did. And Buffy had no doubt it would. There was no way around it. Well, Faith was just going to have to deal with it. Really, Buffy thought, in the end that might be for the best. Facing your past was the only way to move forward. She knew that better than anyone. Faith's reasons for her secrets were understandable, but they were about to be blown wide open. Angel would be okay with it in the end, Buffy was sure. He seemed to be dealing with her life story better than she'd thought, and if he could accept that, then he would be able to deal with Faith's secrets.
"We really don't have to go, Angel," Buffy tried to convince Angel again. She couldn't help but try to save Faith's bacon even if Buffy thought it would be better for Faith to confide in her partner. She really hated the idea of this intruding on an aspect of her friend's life that she kept private.
"This is important to you, isn't it?" he questioned, glancing at her out of the corner of his eye.
"Yes," she begrudgingly admitted. And it was important. If at all possible, she tried to never miss the Thursday program. There were some things that meant more than the daily dribbles of life.
"Then we'll go," Angel responded. "Plus, it'll be good for you to get out for a little bit, take your mind off what's going on." As long as whoever was after her didn't decide to put in another appearance while they were out.
At the next intersection, Angel turned left as Buffy instructed him to do. He decided not to mention that he already knew how to get to where they were going. It probably wouldn't go over too well if Buffy found out he'd spied her there only days before. At the time, he hadn't know what she and Faith were doing at the place, but he had a pretty good idea now even though all Buffy had told him was that she had a meeting to go to at Hyperion Place.
"So...Hyperion Place...that's the group home you went to?" he said, keeping his eyes on the road.
Buffy sighed. It wasn't that she was trying to hide anything from Angel. Exactly. She was just worried about Faith. "Yeah. Giles' friend runs it. They have about thirty people who live there at any given time. The ones like me who need more structured support. But there are also open meetings. AA, Al-Anon, and whatnot. I still go back and volunteer whenever I can, but Thursday night is open meeting night and I like to be there for those."
"It's no big inconvenience for me to go, Buffy," he assured her, though he was getting the feeling again, as he had numerous times throughout the day since Buffy had remembered the commitment, that there was something making her uneasy. "And also, I think I'd like to see the place that did so much for you."
He winced at that slip. He hadn't meant to say it, but the truth was, he was curious about the support home that had played a big part in the changes Buffy had made in her life. Two weeks ago, if anyone had asked him if he thought Buffy could be anything but a lying, partying bitch, he would have said no way in hell. Four years ago, he'd seen first hand how selfish she'd been. He'd have bet money that someone like her wouldn't change.
Now, though, after hearing the story of her life and seeing what she'd made of herself, Angel was revising his opinion. At first, he hadn't believed she could be anything other than who she'd been in Sunnydale. The image she'd presented upon their first meeting here in LA had seemed as phony as he'd come to realize she was in Sunnydale. Since then, he'd spent enough time with her, learned more about her than he ever had before, to begin to realize that this was quite possibly the real Buffy.
This woman was so completely different from the Lizzie he'd known in Sunnydale. Lizzie had been brash, spontaneous, and always looking out for herself. She'd made no bones about attracting attention, or doing the unexpected. Life had been all about having fun to Lizzie. Buffy was almost completely different. She was quieter, more subdued. Buffy cared about others, looked out for her friends and family, and gave up her free time to help others who had been in the position she was once in.
Was this woman the person Buffy would have become if her father hadn't abandoned her and her mother hadn't died? Those losses seemed to have formed the very fabric of her adolescent reality. So would she have become this Buffy if she hadn't lost so much? Or would she have become someone else? But then, that was the crux of life, wasn't it? That people are altered by their experiences. They grow and change, suffer the heartbreaks and take joy in successes.
What Angel did know was that he found himself admiring this Buffy. She could have allowed the let-downs to rule her, but eventually, she'd seen her way past them and come out stronger on the other side. And he admired that strength. That feeling scared him more than a little, Angel was willing to admit. He was being drawn in again. What was it about this woman that kept him ensnared?
Before he could contemplate that further, he heard Buffy tell him to park along side the road. Just as well, he thought. He wasn't ready to deal with all the things rolling around in his head. So he focused on the now and pulled his car into an available parking spot.
"You don't have to come in," Buffy's voice drifted to him. "You can wait out here."
Angel turned his attention to her, once again getting the feeling that something was making her nervous. What had her so out of sorts? Was there something about this place that she wasn't telling him? Was there something about herself that she was still hiding? He didn't want to consider what that might be. If she hadn't told him earlier today in the course of their talk, then it must really be bad. Whatever it was, Angel wasn't going to let it get in the way of doing his job. Buffy was in danger, and he wasn't going to leave her alone until this psycho was caught. If that meant she had to face something from her past, than so be it.
"I'm coming in," he said firmly, daring her to disagree.
"Fine," she relented and climbed out of the car before she was tempted to try and persuade him again.
Her eyes immediately darted up and down the street, searching for both her stalker or her friend. Faith, she didn't see, but her attacker, well, she had no idea who that was. It could be the brunette talking on her cell phone across the street, or the blue-haired teenager headed right in her direction. It could be anyone. Suddenly, Buffy felt vulnerable out in the open like this. Whoever was after her could try anything. She nervously scanned every nook and cranny, every person's hands for signs of danger.
When Angel placed a hand on her arm, Buffy felt inordinately safer. Despite their personal situation, she knew he would do anything possible to keep her from harm. Maybe it was only a job to him, but she was glad he was by her side.
"It didn't hit me until now how easy it would be for someone to do something," she told him, a shudder making her arms tremble under his fingers.
"I can't make promises, but I will do whatever I can to keep you safe." Angel, too, searched all around them, feeling the same helplessness Buffy had at not knowing who was after her. "It would probably be good to get inside and off the street."
With his hand still on her arm, Angel led Buffy into the courtyard of the Hyperion Place. As he did so, he took in his surroundings. The building was much larger than he would have thought. It looked like it had once been a hotel. Which, he supposed, would make it a good place for a live-in facility. The outside didn't have that clinical feel of what he assumed the typical rehab center had. He wondered what the inside was like.
Angel held open the large front door for Buffy and followed her into the building. A large, open foyer greeted him. The inside was just as grand as the outside. It was almost unreal for the type of place it was. How did such a place come about?
Sensing Angel's questions, Buffy turned to him. "Not what you expected, huh? I was surprised when I first got here, too." She gazed around at the place that had changed her life. It was painful and comforting to be here all at once. This place represented her greatest mistakes, but also her recovery and her success.
"My uncle's friend owns the building and runs the place. He wanted to start a program that wasn't so...sterile, where people like me wouldn't feel like they were trapped, where they'd want to stay and try to make themselves better," she relayed as she went down the stairs in the foyer. "He worked for years getting funding from the private sector so he'd be able to do everything he wanted."
"Hi, Buffy," a woman greeted Buffy from behind a large wooden counter. Angel thought she had a hint of Texas in her voice, but on the outside, she looked like an average girl. Thin with long drown hair. Fairly pretty. Was she a recovering addict as well, he wondered, then chastised himself. It wasn't any of his business.
"Fred," Buffy smiled and reached over the counter to give the woman a quick hug. "How are you?"
"I'm great," Fred chirped, setting aside the papers she had been reading over. She looked at Angel curiously.
"Oh," Buffy mumbled. "This is Angel Callahan. He's a...friend," she settled on saying. "And this is Winifred Burkle she's...has Wes given you a title yet?"
"Nah," Fred answered with a shrug. "I just do whatever needs to be done around here. Nice to meet you, Angel."
"You, too," Angel shook her hand. "So you work here?"
"Yeah, but I was a, well patient, here once," she openly admitted. At Angel's shocked looked, she gave a conciliatory smile. "Part of recovery is accepting and being open about your mistakes. A few years ago I moved here from a small town in Texas where I grew up to go to college, and well, I got a little caught up in all the freedom and new experiences, but I've been clean for three and a half years now"
"Oh, well umm, that's good," Angel stuttered.
"Is Wes around?" Buffy asked, hoping to relieve Angel's discomfort. He wasn't used to this type of thing. As a cop, he'd probably seen a lot of the darker side of life, but the Hyperion Place was a world of its own. The people here who were on the upswing didn't hesitate to talk about their problems.
"He's around here somewhere." Fred scanned the foyer that was beginning to fill up with people. She saw her target on the other side of the room. "Wesley!"
The man in question looked up and smiled when he saw Buffy. Quickly excusing himself from the group he'd been talking to, he walked across the room. "Buffy, it's good to see you. You're looking well."
"Thanks," she returned his hug. "Giles said to say hi. He hopes to make it up sometime this month."
"I look forward to seeing him. It's been a while since he's come to LA," Wes said, casting the same curious eye at Angel as Fred had.
"Jenny's been keeping him busy with the baby. I think he's still in shock over the fact that he's now a father," she laughed, remembering the stunned, awed tone in her uncle's voice when he'd told her that he and Jenny were going to be having a baby. She knew he was ecstatic over it. At times, he still seemed surprised that Jenny had married him. Buffy couldn't have been happier for the man who'd come into her life and given her a real family.
"Speaking of babies," Fred chimed in. "We're going to be having our own in seven months."
"Oh! I'm so happy for you!" Buffy exclaimed and quickly hugged both her friends. She turned to Angel. "Wes and Fred met when she came here and they eventually started dating once she was better. They were married four months ago."
"Congratulations," Angel offered, feeling a bit out of place here where Buffy was so comfortable and knew everyone.
"This is Angel Callahan," Buffy introduced him to Wes. "Angel, this is Wesley Wyndham Pryce. Hyperion Place was his brain child, and he's a friend of my uncle Giles."
"This is quite a place you have here," Angel said by way of greeting.
"Yes, it is," Wes replied proudly while placing an arm around Fred. "It's been everything I'd hoped."
"Yo, B!" came a shout from the entranceway. Buffy immediately stiffened. Shit, she'd forgotten about Faith for a few minutes.
"Ah, I see Faith is here," Wes stated wryly, seemingly quite used to the woman's brashness.
Angel's head had whipped around at the sound of Faith's voice. Faith was here? Why? He glanced to Buffy, then back to Faith. What was going on? It was then that he consciously remembered for the first time that when he'd seen Buffy here before, she'd been with Faith. Did her friend come with her in support?
Across the room, Faith had stopped dead in her tracks at the sight of Angel. She was staring wide-eyed at him while her companion put a supportive hand on her back. Angel instantly recognized William Burns, or Spike, from the mug shot that had been in his file. So Faith was here, and William was here. And he was absolutely freakin' clueless.
Rushing over to Faith, Buffy pled her case. "I'm sorry, Faith. I tried to call you to warn you he would be here, but your cell hasn't been working all day."
Faith ran a hand through her long hair and sighed in resignation. She'd known Angel would be on Buffy-duty, but she hadn't really considered the fact that that meant he would be sticking to her like glue. Which then meant he'd be here tonight. It was too late for recriminations now. She'd just have to face something she'd been hoping she wouldn't have to deal with.
"It's okay, B. I should have thought of it," she relented with a shrug.
"Just tell him the truth. Angel will understand," Buffy said softly, hoping Angel didn't hear as he approached their gathering from behind.
"Angel," Faith greeted him as he joined them.
"Faith," he returned, giving her a pointed look that said she had some explaining to do.
Tugging on Spike's arm, Faith pulled him around in front of her. "Why don't you and Buffy go into the meeting," she nodded to the door across the room where people where entering. "I need to talk to Angel."
"Are you sure?" he asked her.
"Yeah."
Spike gave her a tight smile and turned to Buffy. "Come on, ducks. We can go on ahead while Faith and you're glowering friend there have a bit of a chat."
Before Angel could object to Spike leading Buffy away, they were halfway across the room. Faith put a restraining hand on his arm before he could chase after them. "She'll be all right, Angel. I know you don't think much of Spike, but he won't let anything happen to her."
Angel was torn. He needed to keep an eye on Buffy to make sure she was safe, and letting her go off with that Spike character didn't seem particularly smart. He also needed to talk to Faith. Again, he looked to where Buffy and the rough looking bleached blonde were entering the meeting room. Well, at least she would be in an enclosed room with lots of people. Someone would be stupid to try something, though it wasn't out of the realm of possibility.
"I want to stay nearby," he stated, glaring at Faith for making him choose.
"We can sit on that couch over there," she pointed to a long, comfortable looking sofa only ten feet away from the conference room. "If something happens, and nothing will with all these people around, you'll be there in a flash."
"Fine," he ground out and marched over to the assigned 'talk' area.
Faith followed at a slower pace, but all too soon she was seated on the couch next to him. She shifted nervously. What the hell was she supposed to say now?
"So?" Angel prodded.
Slumping back against the couch, Faith began revealing details about herself she hadn't ever told him before. "I have a past just like anyone else, Angel. Mine's just not as pretty as your average person's."
Angel frowned at the veiled reference. Faith hadn't ever mentioned anything about her younger years before. He'd never even really thought about where or what she came from. Obviously, there was a story here that had something to do with why she was here at Hyperion Place. And, it just occurred to him, how she might possibly have gotten to know Buffy.
"I grew up in Boston," she began, keeping her eyes straight ahead. "My father took off when I was a year old, and my mother was a drunken whore who sold herself for money to buy drugs. She never gave a damn about me. I pretty much ran wild."
"By the time I was sixteen, I had quite a juvie record," she shrugged as if it meant nothing, when in reality it meant everything. "Underage drinking, fights, destruction of property. All the typical kid stuff. I didn't care about anything except for having fun."
"I assume something changed," Angel said for lack of anything better to say.
"Yeah. My guidance counselor at school really rode me. He was assigned to me when I was sixteen. My old one had tried at first to straighten me out, but I couldn't have cared less," she laughed sardonically. "Then the new one came along and was constantly in my face. It was kind of hard to ignore him. He knew what my mother was like so he was always asking me if I wanted to end up like her because that's what he said would happen if I kept it up. I always waved it off, but then I came home one night and saw my Mom passed out naked on the couch with a needle in her hand and looking like she'd just banged every guy in the neighborhood. I just stood there and stared at her, thinking how does someone end up like that? It wasn't like I hadn't seen stuff like that before, but that time, my counselor's words came back to me and I heard them over and over again in my head. I knew there was no way in hell I wanted to be like her in fifteen years."
"So you just changed?"
"I was never perfect," she replied, finally twisting her head to see Angel. "I don't have good little girl genes. I am who I am. But I went to school instead of hanging out in abandoned buildings getting high and drunk. My counselor constantly threw things in my face to keep me from getting into trouble. Even got me to join the softball team so I wouldn't have so much free time."
"Sounds like this guy is pretty great," Angel responded, his mind buzzing with this newest information. This was quite the day for other people's personal revelations. He never would have guessed about Faith's past. He couldn't help but be surprised.
"Yeah, Wes is great," she agreed.
"Wes? That Wes?" his eyes snapped to the now closed meeting room door.
"One and the same," she confirmed, shifting on the couch. "By the time I graduated from high school, I'd gotten away from the drugs and booze. The night of the ceremony, which Wes made me go to, he told me about this thing he'd been working on. A support house for kids like me that he was finalizing details on out in California. He told me that if I wanted to, I was welcome to come and help out, offer my experiences to others."
She thought for a minute. "I had nothing holding me in Boston so I packed up what little crap I had and moved out here." Seeing a question in Angel's eyes, she quickly corrected his assumption. "There was never anything between me and Wes. I'm not saying he's not a hottie, but he's only ever been a friend who wanted to see me make something out of my life instead of becoming a burnt out druggie like my Mom."
"I guess this is where you met Buffy," Angel deduced.
"I still help out here often, and come to these Thursday night meetings when I can. Buffy came here about three years or so after Wes got the place going," she explained how Buffy had come to be her friend. "We just hit it off. Our lives weren't exactly all that different. So we became friends and stayed friends after she'd left here."
"And William, or rather Spike?" he wanted to know next.
Faith rubbed at the side of her head. She knew Angel would bring up her boyfriend sooner or later. "I met him through here, too." She looked seriously at Angel. "I know he's got a record and all that, but we've all done stupid shit, Angel. You can't hold it against him. He went straight and stopped drinking almost two years ago."
Blowing out a beleaguered breath, Angel stood, wandered a few feet away and then moved back to the couch to stand in front of Faith. "Why didn't you ever tell me any of this?" he asked, hands on his hips.
"I wasn't intentionally hiding it. I know what I did when I was younger. I understand the whys, and I've accepted it. But you have to understand, Angel," she nearly begged. "I'm a cop and if everyone in that squad room learned that I was once a user and have a juvie record, they'd be lookin' over my shoulder every chance they got."
"You don't know that," he disagreed. "You were what? Fourteen? Fifteen? When you did this stuff? They'd understand."
"Maybe, maybe not," she responded noncommittally. "Would you want to take that chance? Would you, as a cop, want to tell your colleagues that you were once a user? You come in late one day, not feeling well, and they'd be wondering if you'd had a lapse and were out partying the night before. I wasn't going to deal with that. I've been clean for over seven years, and I plan to stay that way. I don't even drink alcohol."
Sitting back down on the couch, Angel thought over everything. "I guess I can see where you were coming from," he relented. "I wish you'd told me. I wouldn't have held it against you or told anyone." Then he added, "and I won't tell anyone now. If that's what you want."
"Thank you," Faith said gratefully. "I like my job, and I don't want anything to fuck it up. And Angel," she waited until she had his attention. "Give Spike a chance. He's really a good guy."
Faith got off the couch and took three steps away. She stopped and looked back at him. "You can't always judge people by things they've done when they were young and stupid."
"As long as he keeps his nose clean and treats you right, I'll lay off Spike," Angel gave in.
Walking the rest of the way to the meeting room door, she again stopped and added over her shoulder. "I didn't just mean Spike, but thanks for that."
Back in her apartment two hours later, Buffy pulled a container of ice cream out of the freezer. She set it on the counter and grabbed a spoon out of the drawer. Just before she was about to dig into the carton with her spoon, she noticed Angel standing in the doorway staring at her. She blushed and lowered the snack.
"Sorry. Did you want some?" she questioned, holding the ice cream back up.
"Sure."
Buffy rotated and opened a cabinet, then frowned and opened a different one. As she did, she asked over her shoulder, "Is everything okay with you and Faith?"
"Yeah," he answered, moving closer to the counter. "I just wasn't expecting what she told me, but we're cool."
"I'm glad," Buffy smiled at him. "She'd told me before that her partner and coworkers didn't know. I mean, I didn't know you were her partner when she talked about it, but I understood her choice. She's got a lot more at stake as a cop than I do as an artist."
Yanking open yet another cabinet she let out a curse. "Damnit, where are the bowls!" She moved to the opposite site of the kitchen to another set of cabinets. "I had to get new dishes and Faith helped me put stuff away. I guess she decided to rearrange while she was at it."
Angel laughed. Faith wasn't exactly the most organized person he knew.
"Ah! There they are!" she exclaimed when she finally found them. When she noticed they were on the top shelf, she grimaced. Faith had a few inches on her in height. She put a knee up on the counter to give herself a boost. As she went to grab two bowls, her knee slipped and she started to fall backwards.
Angel saw Buffy begin to fall and quickly lunged to catch her. She fell against his chest, letting out a small squeal as she connected. His arms held her around her slim waist, clutching her against him with her feet suspended a foot off the ground. Slowly he lowered her the rest of the way, but he didn't let go. All he was conscious of at that moment was the feel of her body pressed against his. As he gazed into her startled eyes, only one thought seemed to circle around his mind: so long.
It had been so long since he'd held her like this.
TBC!
