Disclaimer: I own nothing. Happy?
Chapter 15. Wow. The injuries that Sango receives while she is sleeping are synchronized with what Miroku sees. Basically, if Tsuyuki slashes her arm, during Miroku's POV he will see a slash appear on her arm. A few chapters ago, I started cutting off the suffixes that are usually attached to the characters' names, and the only reason I have done that is because constantly typing down the suffixes is getting rather annoying, and personally, I want to concentrate more of the remainder of this story… which is in fact not too far off!
I think I switched the dialect for Kaede from one of the earlier chapters -.-'. I did go through and make some last-minute changes, especially to the parts that were worded so awkwardly they made me cringe while re-reading. The InuKag moments were a little rushed, but this story and particularly this chapter were not focusing on them. I was lucky to be able to find an excuse to add their 'sympathy' in at all without changing the flow of things.
Oh, and correct me if I used the wrong suffix for Kaede. Some of the scenes may seem a bit rushed, and the wording and descriptions are not quite as fluent as they could possibly be. (Please keep in mind that almost all of this is still the draft I had typed out in May, so the extent of my writing in May obviously is not as good as the more recent works.)
Buddym: Actually, I usually post just before I sign off for the night, usually a day ahead of time. However, not all of us live in the same time zone, so other people may be receiving the update during the afternoon rather than the next morning. Yes, I like leaving people in suspense.
Inuyashagirl: It wasn't that short. -.- It was quite a few pages shorter than my usual chapters, but it was still a considerable length compared to the one-shots I have. I can only do fight scenes when there's less than 3 people. I shall stop rambling about things people don't care about. But thanks for your comments - they give me motivation.
Sue sue magoo: To be honest, I still think I can do better than this. But this is, after all, my first properly chaptered story, so I don't think I'm doing that bad. Where are there grammatical errors? o.o Maybe QuickEdit messed around with my formatting again! Oh, it's not this story I'm having trouble with, it's the sequel. I'm not swamped with schoolwork anymore (I'm replying to this on June 23rd), but I'm still having tons of trouble with the sequel. And I'm lazy. You're welcome.
Question: As odd as your guess seems, I think I understand how you got that idea. Basically since Sango's life is being threatened by Tsuyuki, you think that Miroku can somehow use the ritual to help her by using his mind? Sorry, that's not how it's going to end, although that does sound like an interesting idea. :winks:
Starriecat: Really? I don't think it's that great, but… :shrugs: I like the compliments anyways!
YoukaiTajiyaSango: Lol, that's okay. That means you're enjoying it. I hope?
Blusorami: You're back! I'm not a big action person either, but I had to do it. Action is always a good thing for plots. But I do think the battle scene last chapter beats Chapter 6.
Ninalee-chan: I see what you mean. That wasn't my specific intention. Sango is not battling her 'other self'… she is simply battling Tsuyuki, but it does know her weaknesses and that's how it plans to destroy her.
Jenn: There are way too many stories out there that focus solely on Inuyasha and Kagome. I include them in this story, but just enough to give a sense of background and occasionally some humour. Sango indirectly told him that she cared about him, and once he was certain about it, he returned it. With encouragement like that… I would feel like writing the Sequel a lot more often… (Thanks!)
One page of reviews XD. Time to get on with this chapter!
I watched her, noting how scratches constantly appeared on various parts of her body, bleeding profusely. Kagome-sama grabbed a cloth, wet it, then handed it to me and I wiped the blood away. Even if I couldn't help her fight, I could at least clean her up and prevent any of her injuries from getting worse.
Kaede-sama came in, giving us a puzzled look. "What are you doing?"
"Cleaning her wounds," I answered, watching as the expression on my partner's face tensed, then scrunched into a look of pain. Her hands clenched the blankets.
"Houshi-sama, that won't do any good. The injuries she receives are from another world, and they will continue to bleed while she remains sleep because she has attained them from a spiritual world," Kaede-sama not-so-patiently informed me.
I felt anger rise up in me. I felt so helpless just to watch as Sango was going through some kind of painful ordeal. "Then why will they remain after she wakes up if they came from another world?" I shot at her. I didn't mean to sound so rude, but my worry was increasing and I could do nothing about the situation Sango had been forced into.
Kaede-sama shook her head. "That's just the way it works."
A slash suddenly cut itself across her waist, causing blood to stream out. I wiped it away only to have more blood cover my hands. "Damn it, Kaede! What can I do!" Even Kagome-sama was starting to look alarmed.
"There is only one thing we can do. If she wakes up, we can bandage her wounds. As long as she stays asleep, the effect of the wounds will still be there. But if I wake her up, we can bandage her up properly and allow her to have a short rest," Kaede said.
"But how can we wake her up?" She had never mentioned how to do that before Sango had first headed into the Dream Realm.
"I will do it." The old woman knelt down by Sango and placed her hand across the taijiya's forehead, just as more of the crimson liquid spread out from behind her back, staining the mat and floor. Her body glowed yellow, then the glow faded. Kaede sat back as the taijiya let out a faint moan of pain and opened her eyes. I immediately put an arm around her shoulders to steady her, and she looked at me, her eyes unfocused. "Miroku?" she whispered.
Kagome's eyes went wide at the way Sango spoke my name, but after receiving a warning glare from me, she flushed, standing up to leave and scooping Shippou up in her arms. The good thing about Kagome-sama was that she always seemed to know just when Sango and I needed privacy of some sort.
"I'm here, Sango. Are you alright?"
Instead of answering, her hands went down to cover the wound on her stomach, wincing. She looked faintly disgusted at the feel of her own blood on her fingers.
"Here." I wrapped some bandages around the wound.
"Am I… is this… real?" she asked. It was almost like she was afraid.
"This is real," I assured her, pulling her against me as she rested her head in the crook of my neck.
"But how…"
"Kaede did it. She said we could clean your injuries if she 'woke' you."
Her hand grasped mine and she let out a sigh of relief, although it sounded shaky to me. "I can't do this. Not by myself."
"Yes, you can." I paused, then added, "You have to."
I held her tighter to me, feeling her entire body tremble as she spoke, her voice muffled because she had buried her head in my chest. "No. You don't understand. I - I'm fighting against myself. Tsuyuki has access to all my memories of Kohaku…" She took a deep breath as she tried to hold herself together. "…it's so much stronger than me. Miroku, it - it took on my form."
"Sango, you are the only one that can fight it."
"No." The word came out in a whimper, something extremely uncharacteristic for her. "I don't want to." Her voice shook and I felt wetness on my shoulder. I didn't want to remind her of all the past events she had gone through, but if she was to get through this…
"Do you want to be forced to kill more people? Do you want more innocent people to die?"
She didn't answer, and I moved back to get a good look at her face. A few tears were silently streaming down her cheeks, and her bangs almost obscured her eyes as she looked down.
"Do you?" I pressed. Although I was acting harsh when the situation didn't call for it, I couldn't let Sango see how truly worried I was for her. I cared about her too much to allow her to give up on herself like this, and to do that, to help her through this, I had to act tough and make her see the reason for all this. True, she did understand that Tsuyuki would no longer be tormenting her, but she didn't seem to understand why she had to do it.
She closed her eyes, her voice low. "You know I don't."
"Then you have no choice but to fight it, Sango," I told her firmly. "Other people might suffer, and you're the only person who can beat it." She started to shake her head. "Sango, the demon took over your mind -"
"Because I'm a weak person!" she said, her voice cracking. "Miroku, do you know why it took over me?"
"No, but -"
"It said I have nothing left to gain. My family is dead, and the chances of me and you being together, living together if we can track down Naraku and somehow find a way to defeat him are slim. It took over me because I was more vulnerable to emotions like anger and sadness, and I wasn't able to put up as much of a fight as I should have."
I tried to interrupt her. "Sango, that's not -"
"It was right, Miroku. It has always been right. Everything it told me was true." She wiped her eyes before continuing. "All I have left is you, and in the end… I may not even have that. That's what I'm afraid of… " Her voice went even lower until it was barely audible, and I almost didn't catch her last words. "… being alone."
I grabbed her and pulled her against me rather roughly, trying to give her any possible comfort with my body rather than my words. "Sango, you listen to me. You're stronger than this, and I won't let Naraku win. None of us will. So don't you start believing anything else, especially what a demon says!"
Where was the Sango I knew? Where was the determination, the fiery resolution I had come to know? The taijiya was at her weakest, and the time had come when we needed her to use her strength most. Damn Tsuyuki to hell. It had put her through all this and destroyed her complete confidence as a person and a warrior.
I wanted to grab her bottom so she would slap me and call me a lecher. Just so I could see the fire in her eyes and know that things would be alright. But I knew she wouldn't, and this definitely was not the time and place to be making jokes about it. She needed my comfort and strength to build up her own confidence. That was the only thing I could do.
"You're not alone." I placed a gentle kiss on her forehead and hugged her to me as close as possible.
"You have me."
Some time later, after Sango had calmed down, I fetched some dinner and she ate it, remarking how hungry she was. She finished it quickly and I fixed her wounds while she rested against me. As I did that, I tried to get her to tell what she had seen, or gone through, in the Dream Realm.
"Sango, it's not you. It may have taken on your form, but -"
"It had access to my memories since it was in my mind. I saw Kohaku before he went on the mission, but I couldn't touch him."
"Did Tsuyuki use him against you?" I was careful to keep my tone as gentle as possible. She usually did not react very well to memories of her sibling, and I didn't want to push her to tell me about something if it was too painful for her.
"It tried to," she said, staring straight ahead, a solemn look on her face. I took her hand.
"Are you alright?" I asked.
She leaned against me, her head on my chest. "I… I guess so. But I just want to ask you something."
"What is it?"
"Don't leave me."
Sensing her distress at the situation, I pulled her even closer against me, kissing the top of her head and putting my arms around her waist in a secure way. "I would never leave you, Sango."
"I know you said you wouldn't, but in the Dream Realm, I'm alone," she whispered. I didn't say anything. "Before you send me back, I just… I want to spend some time with you."
Silently I helped her up and we went outside, determined to be with each other and enjoy a few moments of peace.
Without worrying.
Not too far away, Inuyasha and Kagome were having a slight argument. The hanyou was sitting on his usual tree branch, scowling about the whole thing.
"Inuyasha, you know how important this is," she called up to him. He looked away from her, glaring into the darkening horizon.
"I still don't get why she hid this for so long," he grumbled, the annoyance and anger evident in his blunt tone.
"She didn't want to put us in danger. It would have killed us." She sighed, looking up at him. "Will you just come down so I don't have to say it?"
He glanced down at her, seemingly unfazed by her 'threat'. "Why don't I just drag you up here with me?"
"I'm not that comfortable about heights," she complained, looking slightly irritated. Why couldn't he cooperate, just for this once?
"That's your problem," he retorted, about to relax back on the tree branch.
"Inuyasha… osuwari!"
He plummeted to the ground, narrowly missing being slammed into other branches before his face came in contact with the ground. A curse escaped his mouth, but after a minute the incantation wore off and he stood up, remaining unusually calm. "Happy now?" he growled at her, not looking very happy about having to breathe in the dirt again.
Kagome approached him, smiling faintly. "Yes, actually. Now we can talk."
"About?"
"Sango-chan and Miroku-sama."
She stopped smiling, a worried expression coming back over her face. "They've gotten a lot closer ever since they left to go to Mount Hikoshira."
He shrugged, glancing back in the direction of the hut. "So?"
"What if Miroku-sama loses Sango-chan?"
Her words had the desired effect on him as he roughly grabbed her shoulders. Even though he was glaring at her, she knew he was just as concerned about their friends as she was. "What the hell are you talking about?"
"Sango-chan has to fight the demon in the Dream Realm. What if… what if she doesn't make it? When I was back in there with Miroku-sama, she gained numerous injuries and they wouldn't stop bleeding. Kaede-obaa-san said that as long as she remained 'asleep', the injuries would continue to flow because they were from the Dream Realm." Kagome had difficulty masking just how worried she was, and Inuyasha was starting to panic. He didn't know how to comfort people; normally Kagome did that job. But now she was becoming scared for her friends, seeing as she might lose one of them, and Inuyasha didn't know what to say to make her feel better. So he settled for his usual method.
"Stupid idiot, of course Sango's gonna make it!" he said, trying to cover the concern in his voice by using a much harsher tone, which was unnecessary given the situation. "She's strong, you know that."
"But I'm just saying, what if something happens and it defeats her? After all, if it's in her mind," she said, looking back in the direction of the hut then switching her gaze back to him, "Miroku-sama won't be there to help her."
"Kagome," he said, his voice having a slightly softer quality to it. This was the closest he ever came to being considerably nice. "It's okay. She'll be fine."
Although he tried his best to sound reassuring, Kagome's fears could not be settled.
"Sango?" I asked. She was resting in my lap, staring up at the darkening sky. Her hands were in her lap as her head leaned back against my shoulder, and I had my arms around her waist. It was extremely comfortable, and if circumstances had been different, I think the both of us would have been content to stay like this for rest of the night.
"Yeah?" Her voice sounded very quiet.
"What are you thinking about?"
She glanced back at me, then lowered her gaze to her hands. "About the fact that I'll have to go back in there."
I took her hand in mine, squeezing it and smiling even though she couldn't quite see it. "You'll be fine." When she looked at me to see if I believed my own words, I took the opportunity to give her a brief, but gentle kiss, and she leaned her head into the crook of my neck. Her cheeks took on a very light shade of pink, so I knew she was still shy about our relationship but was growing more comfortable about the closeness between us. It wasn't too intimate, but intimate enough so that if I chose to 'snuggle' with her when our companions were around, they would know we wanted a bit of privacy. There was a long moment of silence.
"I saw Kohaku. I saw Father… I could walk into my village," she recalled, her voice barely loud enough for me to hear. "It was like… it was like being back home again, only I couldn't be seen, heard or felt."
"I'm sorry." I didn't know what else to say, or even if she expected me to say anything. When I used to join her and offer my solace during our previous travels, sometimes all she wanted was silence. Silence meant I respected the fact that she didn't feel like sharing her thoughts. I was lucky to have gained this much trust in her, seeing as she hadn't been able to trust anyone since the annihilation of her village.
"It's okay," she said, a faint smile on her expression. "It almost felt like I had a chance to revisit the past… see things how they used to be."
"Are your injuries feeling better?" I asked her.
Instead of answering, she shifted in my lap so that she was facing me and lay her head against my chest, closing her eyes and relaxing. I moved my hand up and down her back, almost as if to soothe her, and she tightened her grip on the front of my robes. When she spoke, her voice was so quiet that I hadn't been straining my hearing, I wouldn't have caught it.
"When I'm with you… nothing else matters. Nothing is as important as the future that I want to attain with you, and even if things aren't going the way I want them to, you always make better of whatever situation we're in."
Nothing that I could say would express the joy that filled my heart at those softly spoken words.
Meanwhile, Kagome and Inuyasha were on their way back.
Kagome was quiet, worrying about her friend, and Inuyasha found the silence to be rather uncomfortable. He rarely saw her upset like this, and he had no idea how to cheer her up. Normally, it was Kagome who kept the atmosphere light during stressful times in our little group, and when she left to return home, we didn't usually get along quite as well. Especially Inuyasha.
"Inuyasha," the miko said. Her shoulder occasionally brushed his as they walked. He looked at her. "If the demon is in Sango-chan's mind, it can use Kohaku against her, can't it?"
This time he stopped, his eyes revealing just a hint of the worry he felt for Sango and concern for Kagome. "Kagome, listen to me," he said firmly. "She's strong."
"But Miroku-sama won't be able to comfort her."
"Your point?"
A note of frustration entered her voice. "He cares about her… but he can't help her, so she may not make it because of the emotional pain when it comes to Kohaku-kun."
We entered the room, Sango feeling a bit more calm. Kaede was sitting by the mat, looking as serene and calm as always about the circumstances of things. "Are you ready, child?"
She nodded. "As ready as I'll ever be. Kaede-sama," she suddenly said as she sat down on the mat. "You didn't tell me that you could bring me out of the Dream Realm… why?"
The old woman looked at her. "I never thought about that. To be honest, I did not want you to panic. You are an extremely strong fighter, but I knew that if I gave any sign of doubt about this…" she trailed off. "I know this seems very much like a risky assumption, but I believed there would be need to tell you about this. I took solace in the belief that you would win this."
Sango's gaze hardened on her. "Risky assumption?" she repeated. "Kaede-sama, this isn't like a game! I have an evil spirit trying to take control of me, and I can't make the assumption that I will win, because I'm not that strong! I'm not as strong as you think I am, and if I lose this… "
I touched her arm, trying to cool her temper a bit with my touch, and she settled down a bit, still glaring at Kaede. "Sango, this isn't the time to be placing blame on anyone. We'll have time to discuss it after."
"Will there be an after, Miroku?" she demanded, turning her cold stare to meet mine. "I -"
Before she could go on, I put my finger on her lips, effectively silencing her. After another long moment of silence, the anger in her eyes faded as she gave up, leaning against my shoulder and burying her head in my neck as I stroked her hair.
"I'm sorry," she said, her voice slightly muffled. "I don't mean to be like this, it's just that…"
"I know."
A minute or two passed, then she pulled away, her expression not as tensed. Just then, Inuyasha and Kagome came in.
"Sango-chan!" Kagome said. The taijiya gave the miko a smile, but without heart in it.
"Kagome-chan," she said.
Kagome gave her a worried look. "Are you alright?"
The taijiya nodded and gave all of us an unconvincing smile. "Don't worry."
Inuyasha spoke up, his voice unusually gentle.
"You can overcome this thing, Sango. You're a pretty damn strong fighter, and we need you in the group," he said. I was shocked at how easily the words seemed to flow from his mouth, then I saw a flicker of understanding go through her eyes.
"Thank you," she whispered, and he nodded, turning to leave.
"Inuyasha, wait." Kagome got up to follow him, and they left, leaving us in privacy for a few minutes longer.
Kaede handed her a cup of the bitter-tasting mixture and she drank it, the same disgusted look on her face as she struggled to gulp it all down without spitting it back out.
"The next time you gather herbs to make medicine or things like this, could you please at least try to get ones that taste half-decent?" she said, forcing down the rest of the liquid. Kaede only smiled, then motioned for her to lay back down as she began the chant.
Sango nodded and lay back down as she closed her eyes. This would likely be the last time that she could open her eyes, and there was still so much I wanted to tell her. I opened my mouth, trying to build up the courage to tell her my feelings. After all, she had admitted that she wanted to be with me almost a week ago, and I doubt she knew that I felt the same way about her. Although I had hugged and kissed her, I was not sure. I hadn't told her.
"Sango… I…"
Her body started glowing and I honestly doubted that she would make it this time. She was fighting in one of the most vulnerable places anyone could think of; the place where the mind is exposed to anyone who can read it, and this demon obviously loved to play with her emotions. Either that, or make her suffer in some way.
She was extremely sensitive and compassionate about those she loved. Even when she thought she had given up because she couldn't take it anymore and needed a shoulder to cry on, to me it seemed like she had more courage than any of us. She had had her home destroyed and all the friends and family she had known her entire life killed in one day, yet she continued on, not letting her hatred and rage consume her and prevent her from completing her goal. I respect her for that more than I could ever say, and she probably wouldn't believe me if I did tell her that.
"I love you," I whispered. The glow faded and she didn't move. I didn't know if she had heard me, and I prayed with every fibre of my being that she could open her eyes one more time to let me know she had.
I cared for her, not just for the person I had seen fight, but the real Sango, the one who would occasionally laugh and slap me several times before I would remove my hand from her butt. But through it all, she still loved me.
I love her. But nothing I could say or do would aid her in the final fight.
All I could do now was wait.
Finished typing - May 19th, 2005
Posted - July 18th, 2005
The repetition dialogue in this chapter stuns me. I don't believe how many times I made Sango and Miroku say the same things over and over to each other, just in different ways. Hey, it's been two months since I opened this chapter to read it and find any errors. Of course I'll probably miss some, but that's what you guys are here for (other than the story, that is).
By the way, if anyone wondered about the timing of their relationship in terms of the actual series starting at Chapter 1, it would probably be shortly before 118. The proposal in Chapter 7 strengthened their characters and would have taken place alongside episode 132, and the rest is due partially to my imagination and the fact that the extent of fluff we will ever see in the anime is, "If there's anything I can do, let me know."
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I have no idea when I will post Chapter 16, so here's a preview:
… there is a difference between knowing someone is dead, and acknowledging the fact that you can never see, hear or touch that person again. It's not something I want to face.
There are so many things I fear…
A cold blade pressed against the skin on the back of my neck, and a voice, a familiarly eerie voice whispered in my ear:
"Welcome back, taijiya."
I did not answer, shifting and trying to squirm my way free despite the burning pain, but to no avail. Tsuyuki was me, in its own twisted way, so it still had my strength.
-
Maybe I'm being a bit generous with this preview… however, you guys probably won't see Chapter 16 for a long time. I really need to write more.
Iggy - Essence of Angst
