Disclaimer: As always I own nothing but the original ideas and characters. Thank for reading!
Good Manners
A successful abstraction often depended on a Kingsman agent's ability to not only read a situation, but to analyze the players in motion and how best to go about eliminating potential hostiles without any harm coming to your target. Harry of course had no intention of harming any of the women currently vying for Eggsy's attention, of course not, but he didn't discount the possibility that they might turn their nails and barbed housewife tongues against them if provoked. He'd rather avoid a scene since there were a number of impressible children present. Including one he called his own, who Eggsy wisely had picked up and placed on his hips so that she wouldn't be trampled by the stampeders.
One less thing to worry about.
And proving herself to be an intelligent girl Daisy was looking around for some means of escape and spotting him knew that he would of course be happy to provide assistance.
"Unca Harry!"
He'd talk to her about ladies not pointing at another time.
For now she'd given him the opening he needed and not about to look a gift horse in the mouth Harry headed straight for them, the women naturally parting to let him through so that he could reach his two charges. And wrapping one arm protectively around Eggsy's waist so that he could steer the boy out of there as quickly as possible, Harry prepared to get them out without leaving the boy or their girl behind.
"Ladies. My apologies for interrupting." Harry flashed them his most charming smile. "But I'm afraid I'm going to have to steal these two away. We have reservations for lunch."
Another smile and then Harry looked over at Eggsy, who was giving him a rather confused look. Probably because the boy hadn't known about the immediacy of their lunch plans. Though he would have thought Eggsy would have remembered that Harry planned to take them out.
Oh well, no matter. "You and Daisy should go get changed and I'll wait for you downstairs. Quick as you can, all right?" That would hopefully keep the hordes of admirers in line to some degree. At least the ones with manners since Harry could see that most of them wanted to interrupt as it was.
"Ah, yeah. Sure. No problem."
"Excellent. Ladies, good afternoon."
"Unca Harry?" Reaching out for him, Daisy apparently didn't trust the cougars not to make a meal of her brother before her very eyes. Possible with her crushed underfoot accidentally. Smart girl.
Taking her from her brother Harry somewhat confidently perched her on his hip. "Hello, Flower. Did you have an enjoyable time with the yoga?"
Her fingers clutching his jumper, Daisy looked up at him pleadingly. "I wanna go home."
"I see. Well you and Eggsy are just going to get changed, and then we're going to get spaghetti if that suits you. After that we'll go straight home, all right?"
Daisy's face lit up. "Getti!"
"Yes. And I have a present for you in the car."
"PRESENT."
Laughing, Eggsy shook his head with a fond expression on his face. "Well we better get changed right fast now, huh, Flower?"
And so saying Eggsy said goodbye to the ladies and started off in the direction of the door with Harry, who was happy to escort them and act as a bodyguard until they were safely in the change room and he needed to pass Daisy back over to her brother.
That mission accomplished Harry stared at the closed door as it suddenly occurred to him that perhaps going downstairs to wait for them wouldn't be the best idea. What if they were mobbed in the change room? Eggsy would be changing, after all, and therefore only that much more appealing to the ravenous hordes. Perhaps he should go in and supervise? But wouldn't that-
"Well that was unexpected."
Turning his head Harry took in the smirk Jasper was wearing with no amusement of his own. "What was unexpected?"
"The Honorable Harry Spencer Cameron Hart, future seventeenth earl of Hartford. Blatantly staking his claim for all the world to see thanks to online media. That was both impressive and sexy as hell. Well done."
Reluctantly impressed that the man knew his full title, including his middle name, Harry was nonetheless very confused about the rest. "Excuse me?"
The way Jasper cocked his head a little to the side and studied him in turn did not bode well for him. Harry's gut made that very clear. But before he could demand answers the women once again swarmed them, all wanting to introduce themselves and their offspring.
Realizing that he hadn't even bothered to introduce himself earlier, which was extremely rude, Harry waited until they gave him a pause to speak into so that he could introduce himself and apologize for not doing so earlier. His mother would be appalled.
"Oh don't worry about it, Dear. Eggsy told us all about you before class started." The woman, who'd introduced herself as Anna, gave him a sweet smile. "Though he did forget to mention that you were so handsome."
"Like Colin Firth's sexier younger brother." Purred out a woman named Erin.
Raising an eyebrow Harry decided to simply thank her for the compliment. While adding that the actor was actually a distant cousin of his.
That set them all off again, asking how well he knew the famous actor and was he as sweet in person as he seemed in the films?
Harry didn't know the man well, they weren't that closely related, but he agreed that Mr. Firth was a lovely person because that seemed the best answer to give. And he was actually a fan of the man's work as it happened so he would have been quite content to just talk about the man's films until his ward and Eggsy came out again.
But no such luck.
And while later Harry would find it sorta flattering that an Academy Award winning actor wasn't as important a topic as him and Eggsy, at the time Harry was both completely unprepared and stunned when the women made a few more comments about how he did and didn't look like Firth, and then stated that Eggsy certainly had excellent taste in men.
Wait. What?
)
It took a minute for it to sink in that ALL the women seemed to be of the opinion that Eggsy was not his live in nanny. Or not just the nanny. And furthermore the majority of them seemed to support that idea wholeheartedly, though Harry got the sense that at least a couple of them were inwardly plotting how to go about stealing Eggsy out from under him-and didn't that saying put some mental images in his head that shouldn't be there.
They were just so cute together!
How long they'd been together?
Thankfully they were all talking over each other, mostly about how adorable he and Eggsy looked together, and that gave Harry another couple minutes to at least understand the assumption they'd made about the two of them. And why they might think he and Eggsy were a couple, since it would be ludicrous to think that Eggsy might have presented them as a couple. Unless the women had all shown interest and in a fit of desperation Eggsy had told them he was taken. Used Harry as his fake suitor in a fit of panic. Harry could see and understand that. Not to mention the fact that he probably hadn't helped things with his behavior earlier. Especially the whole arm around Eggsy's waist thing, which he was starting to realize could be seriously misinterpreted by others.
But regardless of how they'd come to this conclusion Harry silently made the choice to deliberately not correct them about thinking that he and Eggsy were a couple. That way Eggsy would have him to use as a shield against at least some of the yoga moms should it be necessary. It would be up to the boy if he wanted to enlighten them in the future.
He was doing it for Eggsy's sake. Really.
And the ladies certainly didn't need his help filling in the blanks about his and Eggsy's relationship as they were more than capable of doing so themselves with the few bits and pieces that Eggsy must have offered up during the yoga lesson. Like the fact that Daisy was actually his ward after the death of her parents and how he'd invited Eggsy into his home to look after her. That was all they needed, it seemed, to spin a tale of love at first sight, bonding over Daisy, and a passionate love affair that crossed not only age differences, but social class as well.
It was an impressive story worth of a romantic comedy. He would have enjoyed seeing it on the screen.
Then one of the more bold women, who'd introduced herself as Angele, asked him to his face if he was the top or the bottom.
That shut everyone else up, aside from a couple gasps and the sound of the previously silent Jasper choking.
Leveling her with a stare that he knew conveyed the fact that he was the future lord of a manor, and had the pedigree and more importantly the money and power that went with his attitude, Harry made his thoughts on the matter clear. "I should think that that was none of your business. As is the relationship between Eggsy and I."
Awkward silence.
So of course Eggsy chose that moment to come all but bouncing out of the change room with Daisy.
"Right. Let's go then, shall we?"
Nodding his head after shooting Harry a 'what the fuck' look, Eggsy scooped up Daisy and placed her on his hip for safety and a quicker getaway. That done Eggsy said a quick goodbye, which Harry echoed for politeness sake, and then thanking Jasper for inviting Eggsy and Daisy to the class left before they could be drawn into some more 'interesting' conversation.
"What the hell was that all about?" Eggsy asked in a low voice as soon as they'd left the building, unable to wait another second to ask.
"The women were very interested in our relationship."
"They were talkin shit about us?" Eggsy eyes flashed a deeper green, the set of his shoulders tightening up. "What was they saying ta make ya so mad? Cause you are. I can tell."
"Most of them were just being…overly enthusiastic and romantic. One woman however showed a complete and total lack of decorum in her line of questioning which is what I took offense to. And if you want to go back for more classes you should be aware they're under the assumption that you and I are in a romantic relationship. Which I didn't correct them about as I thought you might prefer them believing that, so as not to be torn limb from limb when they start fighting over you."
"Oh." Eggsy stared at him. "Is that why you was actin all possessive of me before. I gotcha. Brilliant."
He'd been acting…oh shit. Eggsy had noticed too. That was why he'd given him that weird look before. Thank the Fates that the women had handed him an excuse for his earlier behavior.
"Unca Harry. Present?"
Mentally thanking Daisy for turning their attentions on her, Harry assured her that they'd get it from the car first before they walked over to the restaurant.
"What way's the car?" Eggsy asked, looking in the direction Harry pointed. "I see it. And we ain't comin back here neither, by the way. Not for that price. And before ya say that ya can afford it, cause I know that's what ya're gonna say, it really ain't worth it. What they teach the kids, I can teach her meself no problem. There's plenty of vids on YouTube. I checked. Better ta save your money for the important stuff like her learnin ballet and karate."
"Those are important lessons, yes. But if she wants to take these ones too than that's fine. And we could look into classes elsewhere too." He liked that idea.
"I'll keep it in mind. So are we dressed okay for wherever we're goin?"
As diversion techniques went that needed some work, but rather than called Eggsy on it Harry looked over the two of them even though really, he didn't care what they were wearing. Eggsy had dressed Daisy in a simple blue sundress with violets scattered over it, choosing for himself his usual chav uniform sans a chain or ball cap.
The black polo with the gold accents on the collar was flashy enough to make up for the lack of chain, Harry thought but didn't say. But the shirt did hug Eggsy's chest rather nicely.
Not that he was paying attention to that.
"You both look lovely."
Daisy beamed at him, while Eggsy blinked at him a couple of times before shaking his head.
Having arrived at the car Harry turned his attention to unlocking the boot so that he could retrieve the bags he'd stashed in there earlier for both their sakes. Sorting through the first bag Harry found the cap and turning held it out towards Daisy, who gasped and then shrieked in joy as she all but leapt towards him with Eggsy's hands the only thing keeping her from doing a face plant.
Laughing, Harry handed it over to her with a smile, watching her turn it around in her little hands to admire it before placing it on her head.
Shifting his grip on her Eggsy freed up a hand to center the hat before telling her she was the most beautiful flower he'd ever seen. And to say thank you to Harry for it.
"Dank ya, Unca Harry! I wuv it."
"I'm glad you like it. Eggsy, it's not really the weather for your present, actually. Unless you'd like to see it. I thought once it gets cooler though…I'm not sure if it's to your taste at all." Now that he thought about it Harry was actually quite sure Eggsy wasn't the beanie type at all. Or at least Harry had never seen the boy go outside wearing anything other than a cap before. "If you don't like it my feelings won't be hurt if you want to pass it along to a friend of yours."
Okay, that was a small lie. He would be a little hurt. But he'd suck it up and blame himself for not thinking beyond the fact that the beanie's coloring would compliment Eggsy's.
"Ya didn't have ta get me anythin, special on top of the shirts. But let's see it then. I trust ya."
Thinking it better to just get it over with Harry didn't argue, instead returning to the boot to retrieve the beanie before closing it again. Then walking over Harry handed it over to Eggsy, who took him from him with a growing grin on his face.
And then Eggsy sighed in relief. "Thank Christ. For a moment there ya had me thinkin ya'd gone and gotten me a cap like hers. Not even someone of my handsomeness coulda pulled that off. I see my faith in your tastes weren't wrong, though I ain't never had a beanie before." A wink. "But I'm sure I can pull it off."
"I'm sure you can."
"Here. Show Daisy what she looks like in the car window and I'll see how it looks."
Taking her from Eggsy Harry gingerly held her in his arms and walked her over to the car window so that she could admire her reflection with obvious delight. Eggsy walked with them and used the window to fiddle with his beanie until it was to his liking, though it looked a tad ridiculous with the rest of Eggsy's outfit.
But still he smile at Harry. "I like it. Though yeah, it's too warm for it right now."
"Then let's put it back in the car and go get our lunch, shall we?"
Eggsy and Daisy were all for it.
)
Lunch went well; they'd all enjoyed the excellent spaghetti, garlic bread and Caesar salad. Though Eggsy's was better, Harry assured him, despite Eggsy's half-heartedly protests to the contrary. None of them had had room for dessert, sadly, and Daisy conked out in the car with a very full stomach by the time they reached home. Eggsy gave Harry the choice of carrying the bags or their smallest family member, with Harry picking the former. He was getting used to having her in his arms upon occasion, yes, but he hadn't quite lost the fear that he'd drop her either.
They were hardly in the door, Daisy still blissfully passed out over Eggsy's shoulder, when Harry's phone signaled in his pocket. And pulling it out Harry saw that he had a text message, frowning over the sender as he accessed it.
"Ya got ta go in ta work?"
"No. I'm just going to have an unwanted visitor on Monday."
Eggsy puffed up his chest as he asked who it was, looking ready to challenge the unwanted visitor to a duel or something to protect Harry.
It warmed his heart.
"It's a healer, Eggsy. I had to cancel my last appointment with one because of a work emergency. I was supposed to reschedule and never got around to it. Chloe, a friend of mine and one of the best healers in the world got wind of that fact, and is now sending one of her people to my office. According to her if I won't go to the healer the healer will come to me. Or else."
"So what, it's like a checkup sorta thing? Or cause of what happened before? What you was talkin bout earlier with the coma and gettin blown up?"
"All of the above. It really is just routine. In fact I haven't had a serious migraine in weeks now, which is a record for me since I was injured." Never better would be an exaggeration, but that was mostly because of his age. Were he twenty years younger…
"But you'll tell me if somethin is wrong, right? Promise?"
Understanding the worry on Eggsy's face, Daisy's wellbeing hinged on him being around to be her legal guardian, Harry took a couple steps to bring him closer so that he could reach out and give Eggsy's hair a gentle ruffling.
"You have my word."
