Disclaimer: As always I own nothing but the original ideas and characters. Thanks so much for reading, I hope you enjoy and let me know what you think. Have a great weekend!

Note: Sorry for the lack of updates recently, like Eggsy in this chapter I was done in by Deborah Harkness's 'All Souls' trilogy. It took over my life last week and made writing impossible. I highly recommend you look up info on the series, or if you're in the UK they're making a TV show based on the first book that's due in September.

Food And Books

After the Statesmen had all expressed in their own ways how surprised they were that someone of Eggsy's height and breadth could have house elf blood, which Eggsy obviously appreciated, the topic of conversation switched to just what the Americans felt HAD to be included in any 'proper' picnic basket. Champ turned out to be a great fan of potato salad while Moonshine was of the opinion that macaroni salad was the far superior side dish. Both men felt very strongly on the matter as it turned out. Or at least strong enough to get out of their chairs to face off against the other much as Addison and Whiskey had been doing earlier.

With Tequila deliberately and Merlin somewhat accidentally egging them on with their own opinions on the matter, Harry wasn't quite sure how to proceed given how awry things were going. It wasn't like he could have his intended conversation with Eggsy, Daisy or Merlin thanks to the rather heated argument brewing at the end of the table.

Addison would be no help either. True to his nature the other man was enjoying the turmoil with relish. And Whiskey was just sitting in his chair and sulking, which frankly suited Harry just fine.

Ginger seemed to be talking to the screen, Harry noted, with Eggsy leaning in to give her his full attention. He couldn't hear what they were discussing though, which was irksome. Eggsy seemed to like her though, which made sense since she was a lovely woman and Harry considered her his favorite member of Statesman by a landslide. Though the way she was smiling at him so sweetly...Harry wasn't sure he approved of that. Especially since long distance relationships never worked out and she was-

A shrill, piercing whistle had the room going blissfully silent again.

"Oi, you'll watch your language around the little lassie, both of you." Merlin had snatched the laptop from Eggsy and was now glaring hotly at Champ and Moonshine. "And there's a simple way to settle this. Just send your recipes for both sides to Eggsy, along with the one for the fried chicken of course, and he'll make them. The three of us can try it and declare a winner."

Eggsy's snort in the background came through loud and clear.

"Or he could just come here and rustle us up some elf food to try." Tequila drawled out the suggestion with a grin. "Seems more sporting and...official to me that way."

"You're all gluttons and Eggsy was not put on this earth to feed any of you." Harry gave the boy and then Merlin censoring looks that did nothing to faze either man. "And this whole conversation is not supposed to be about food. It's about a small child who needs to go to bed soon. And she contacted this line to speak to me, not hear you all argue and carry on this way, potentially scaring her."

The room filled with the sounds of grown men clearing their throats self-consciously.

Hopefully self-aware enough to know he couldn't be trusted not to talk about food, Merlin moved the laptop down so that Daisy was now taking up the majority of the screen, the little girl's expression rather resembling a deer in headlights as she realized she was now the focus of all their attention.

Ergo it was no surprise when she promptly pulled the hood of her panda bear pajamas up, giving herself ears and added adorableness, before burying her face in Merlin's jumper. Concealing herself from view as best she could.

"Ah, Flower. None of that now." Eggsy's hand appeared on the screen to give Daisy's covered head a stroke. "Now come on. Don't ya want ta tell Harry bout the picture ya made im in daycare today? Or about ow ya got a gold star for knowin all the colors of the rainbow?"

A head shake.

"Well I very much look forward to seeing the picture. And congratulations on your gold star. Are you doing anything special tomorrow?" Harry didn't really expect she'd answer, but felt he should try since so much of this internet conversation hadn't involved her, the intended recipient of his attention.

A pause, then Daisy turned her head just enough that her half spoken, half yawned response was audible.

"I'm playin with Danny tomorrow."

"You are? Well have a splendid time then." With Danny? Daisy wasn't in daycare tomorrow. Eggsy and Jasper must have arranged a playdate. Were they meeting at a park…or were Eggsy and Daisy going over to spend time at Jasper's home? Surely they weren't going to another yoga class after the way the last one ended. Right?

"Kay."

Telling himself that Eggsy's self-preservation instincts were too well developed for the boy to risk returning to yoga, Harry was about to ask, just to be sure, when Eggsy spoke up.

"And the paintin today went real well too. Well aside from the smell of paint, I mean." The boy's nose crinkled up adorably. "Ryan got a lot done. Be back tomorrow as planned."

Ah, yes. He'd forgotten that Eggsy's friend was due to start painting Daisy's room now that the boy had created a design that Daisy had been willing to sign off on. She'd been surprisingly picky and demanding according to Eggsy. Eggsy's friend Ryan had had to come up with multiple designs before hitting on the one Daisy had picked. Inspired by her dress, no doubt, Daisy had decided that she just wanted one accent wall with a cherry blossom tree in full bloom. The sketch had been lovely.

Eggsy reached out a hand to stroke Daisy's head again. "Say night now, Flower. Time for bed like Harry said."

"Kay." A sigh and then Daisy looked over at them, shyly bringing up a hand to wiggle her fingers in their direction. "Night, night, Unca Harry. Mr. Addy-son."

"Good night, Daisy." Harry answered back, Addison mumbling his own version of the sentiment. Though at least the man was looking at Daisy when he did it. That was practically a declaration of love and devotion from the man.

"Say night ta everyone else too, now. And night from me, as well."

Following Eggsy's gentle instruction Daisy said 'Night' and gave another, even less enthusiastic little wave.

All the Statesmen, including Whiskey, returned the sentiment.

Merlin nodded in their direction and then the screen went black once more.

"Who is their right mind gives you kids to look after?" Whiskey wanted to know, the way he drawled out the question making it clear he meant that to be as insulting as possible.

Fortunately for everyone else Harry was mature enough not to rise to the bait. "A not terribly observant and biased social worker."

He might be a better parent than he'd thought he would be, but Harry was under no illusions that Eggsy wasn't the glue that kept them together. And his sanity intact.

"So he's really a house elf? Or part, I mean." Tequila wanted to know, tipping back his chair rather dangerously in Harry's opinion.

"So they tell us. And his skill in the kitchen does go a long way towards verifying it in my mind, at least."

"Huh. I ain't never eaten anything made by a house elf before. Maybe next time I'm on the other side of the pond you could invite me over for dinner."

"We'll have to see how the rest of these meetings go." Was Harry's dry response.

)

The next morning, after he'd finished shaving and dressing for the day, Harry was left to stare at his cellphone as he debated whether or not to call Eggsy. Just to see how they were doing and kill time until he and Addison were due to leave for the day. Yesterday's bedtime conversation hadn't gone at all to plan after all, and Harry had the sneaking suspicion that Champ would insist that tonight's message be taken in the boardroom as well. The lot of them had all been far too interested in Eggsy and Daisy after the first talk. And while discussing the two was preferable to pretending that these meetings were actually intended to do more than attempt to put him in his place, Harry wasn't about to tell them more than he deemed fit.

Eggsy had texted him confirmation that he'd gotten the various recipes Ginger had collected and then messaged to Merlin to give to him, so he could already relay that to them. If he spoke to Eggsy now he could get enough details about their day that the members of Statesman would have no grounds to insist they be present to hear what Eggsy and Daisy had been up to and what they'd thought of American cuisine.

All right...he wanted to make sure that both were all right and Jasper hadn't allowed the boy to be eaten alive by stay at home mothers.

And if he was going to call he better do it now before he was due to head out to Statesman's headquarters.

Mind made up Harry accessed Eggsy's number and hit contact before he could second guess himself. A wise move as it turned out, since when Eggsy spoke his name over the line he sounded absolutely ghastly.

"Eggsy? Are you ill? Have you seen a doctor? Do you need someone to watch Daisy for you because I can have-"

"Easy, Harry." A very, very weak chuckle. "I ain't sick. Just got no sleep is all. And Daisy was in a right mood this morning. Water wasn't wet enough. She's at Jasper's now, playin with Danny. I almost canceled the whole thing, but Jasper insisted. And he ain't called me to come get her yet, so that's good. Promised him some of the fried chicken tomorrow either way."

"Why couldn't you sleep? I something wrong?" Dammit, he knew he should have refused to come.

"Roxy."

"Roxy?" Why would she prevent him from sleeping?

Harry really didn't like where his mind went as a result of that mental query.

"She gave me this book, said I had ta read it. Not my usual thing, but I said I'd give it a whirl. Nearly six hundred bloody pages." Eggsy grumbled the last sentence. "Wasn't nothin on the telly worth watchin last night after Merlin left, so I figured what was the harm in reading a few chapters. Read the whole sodding thing and now I'm on ta the next book in the trilogy. And of course it's just as fucking long as the first."

"Ah." Thank heavens. "So you're enjoying it aside from the sleep deprivation?"

"Yeah. It's pretty sick. It's about a world where humans don't know about witches, vampires and daemons." Eggsy's enthusiasm came through loud and clear over the phone. "Though in this book they ain't like any daemon I've ever read about. They're just super creative people prone ta goin off their nutter. Anyway, there's this witch who don't want ta be one who comes across this magic book that all the other magical creatures want ta get their hands on. She ends up teaming up with this vamp and there's a lot of real life history and shit about alchemy mixed–nevermind. I mean-what's up? Them Statesmen treatin you proper? Bet I could bribe all your lot ta go there and kick their arses."

"For your food there is not much they wouldn't do." Harry agreed. "Now what's the book series called? I'll have to check it out myself if you and Miss. Morton hold it in such high regard."

A minute of reflection on Eggsy's part. "Actually...given your taste in movies you'd probably love it. It's called the 'All Souls' trilogy. Rox lent me all three ta read. Sure she wouldn't mind ya doin the same. The whole reason she said I had to was so she'd have someone ta talk about them with."

"Well I can ask her when we see her on Saturday."

"Hopefully it will improve her mood. You'd think it was a trip to the dentist, the way she went on about it."

"Well the poor girls are rather treated like horses at auction. And for those who don't get bid on, or for very low amounts..." Harry trailed off with a sigh. "Well let's just say that I was very glad not to be a teenage girl in my day. Or now, for that matter."

"Too right. I am not lookin forward ta when Daisy gets big, let me tell you. We'll have our work cut out for us, we will."

"Thankfully I'm rarely unarmed."

That elicited a laugh, though it ended on a sort of yawn.

"You really should have a nap before you have to pick Daisy up again."

"Naw. Couldn't sleep anyway. Bloody book. Just pray that this one don't end on a cliffhanger or somethin that compels me ta start the last one. Otherwise we'll have ta have takeaway for your return supper."

"That would be fine." Though he missed Eggsy's cooking terribly. "Might I suggest though that you get in touch with Miss. Morton and find out what part to stop reading at. In order to ensure that you're conscious tonight and tomorrow."

"Huh. That could work. Maybe. I'll do that."

"Good."

"So ya didn't say why ya called."

Harry smiled in amusement. "I'm keeping you from your book, in other words."

"No big. Rather talk ta ya anyday." Eggsy assured him.

The silence that followed that on both ends...well Harry told himself that meant nothing. Even as he hurried to ask if Merlin had eaten them out of house and home yet.

"He's giving it his best shot."

"If necessary I can ban him from the house. Though I'd really rather not. He's incredibly childish when he pouts."

"Oh I know. He wanted me ta make every single thing Ginger emailed me. When I told him he had to pick between the pie and buttermilk cookie salad...it was sad really. Ya'd have thought I gave im a puppy and then took it away from im."

"The what salad?"

The sound of Eggsy's laugh shouldn't have warmed him the way it did.

"I know. Sounds mental, don't it? But the recipe sounds like it could be good. It's what he chose, too, so we'll see. I'll send ya a piccie of it."

"Do that. I'm curious now."

"And speaking of biccies-though why do they call them cookies, anyway?"

"That's like asking why they can't call football by its proper name. They're Americans. Though the Canadians do it as well. But you were saying?"

"Right. I was thinking I should make some, wrap them up good and send them ta these Statesman in thanks for the recipes. And so they'll leave ya alone in the future. Merlin says this meeting was just about politics and the cowboy tryin ta make ya follow his orders cause your last boss was an arse ta them."

"If we feed them we'll never get rid of them. But yes, that would be a nice gesture on your part if you want."

"Cheers." A sound that might have been a stifled yawn. "So shouldn't ya be havin breakfast right about now? You ain't skippin it cause I ain't around ta make ya, right?"

Shit.

"Harry..."

"I had an apple." Champ had arranged for a fruit basket to be delivered to the hotel before his arrival. "And if you saw what they were offering downstairs you'd avoid it as well. Not to mention it's in no way my fault that you've spoiled me for all other cooking."

Harry could hear the gruff pleasure in Eggsy's voice. "Well eat a decent lunch and dinner at least."

"I shall do my best." Harry promised.

"Good." A moments pause. "So ya getting in any sightseeing while you're over there? Though come ta think of it...is there really anythin ta see in Kentucky?"

"Aside from the Kentucky Derby, which takes place in May...well there are the Mammoth Caves. That could be interesting to view when Daisy is a little older. Provided she's fine traveling underground and isn't claustrophobic. Are you?"

"Never been in a cave before. But I think I'd be all right. Is that it?"

"I'm sure I could find something else but-"

Two very loud and hard knocks at his door.

"Ah. Addison is here. We're sharing transportation, obviously." Getting to his feet Harry grabbed his laptop bag with his free hand and slung it over his shoulder.

"Good idea. Specially since I don't know if you'd want ta trust him alone with all those cowboy hats ta set on fire." Laughter. "Are you still gonna chat with Daisy tonight?"

"Oh course. And I'll do my best not to include the Statesmen."

Having walked over to the door and opened it-Addison's disgruntled look not something he wanted to see this early in the morning but oh well- Harry pointed to his phone and mouthed Eggsy's name before Addison could say anything.

Mumbling something that sounded like 'Of course it is' Addison gave him once last dark look before spinning around on his heels and heading in the direction of the nearest elevator, Harry following after him once he'd closed the door securely behind him.

"So guess I should let ya go then. Talk ta ya later. Oh-and good luck with that lot. Specially that Caterpillar bloke. Someone ought ta tell im that staches like that went out of style with the eighties."

"Well if I shoot him I promise to do a better job of it than I did the last time."

"Ya shot im before?"

"It was entirely justified, I assure you. Or it-I'll explain later." Harry cleared his throat, ignoring the smirk Addison was aiming in his direction as they waited for the lift to arrive. "Enjoy your book and do try and work in at least a small nap."

"I'll try. Later."

"Later."