"Proof of Existence" by Txenriks

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters, SquareEnix does- the lucky bastards. --

I'm very glad with the way this turned out... It began with a few sentences that popped into my head that I just... really liked the sound of. Then I sat down and quite literally wrote this all in a matter of minutes. grovels before the almighty Muses

So, this is an AkuRoku short story, from Kingdom Hearts. Axel sits in Proof of Existence (the room with all the Organization member's tombstones in it, from the World that Never Was) and thinks. Minor KH II spoilers. Also some shounen-ai between Axel-chan and Roxas. nosebleed

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Proof of existence. What a funny name for a room- and so ironic, especially considering that the people who rested here never existed at all. But then again, Xemnas did always have a flair for the cruelly ironic...

The name fits, in an odd sort of way, Axel thought as he rested against Larxene's tombstone. Here was the Organization, living out their not-lives in a sick parody of true existence. They ate, they slept, they squabbled. The Elders told them they had no emotions, and they believed. (Imbeciles, thought Axel with derision. They believe they don't have hearts, yet a heart is required in order to believe. They've trapped themselves in their own paradox, too wrapped up in their play-pretend to realize that they're not so emotionless as they think.) They worked their way through their exiled lives, seeking what they do not lack, imitating emotions they don't know they already have.

Some of the Elders tried to put the blame of their fate on something, anything. It made them feel better. But, no one was to blame but themselves. Not fate, nor destiny, nor whatever you may call it. Not Xemnas. Certainly not the Heartless. For, by pretending to lack true feelings, by pretending to be nonexistent, they essentially became the cause of their nonexistence.

So, they built this graveyard. Of course, it was a graveyard in namesake only. When a Nobody's nonexistence came to it's end, there was no corpse left over to stick in a coffin and weep over. Not that any of us get along well enough to really weep for each other, Axel thought with a chuckle. The gravestones stood there, though, as a testament to the dead Nobody's unlife. The only testament...The only proof of their existence.

...See where Axel was getting at?

As for Axel? He sat back and watched them. Manipulated them. Laughed at them, quite frequently... And he was the only one who grasped it all.

Why was he even in the Organization, anyway? He frequently asked himself this tricky question, and had yet to find an answer. When he first joined, it wasn't because he wanted his heart back, like Demyx...or because he craved power, like Xemnas. He hadn't wanted or needed anything. He had just wanted his form to go on in some way, any way...provided that way wasn't as a Dusk, groveling in the dirt to the other, stronger Organization members.

But then he had found the word that gave his life meaning: Roxas.

They'd hit it off practically the first time they met. Something about the quiet, withdrawn boy was just...appealing to the boisterous, sarcastic Axel. He found himself caring about something for the first time since the death of his Other. He wanted to make Roxas laugh, smile...Anything to spare him from the path towards nothingness that the Elders and neophytes followed.

When he'd finally succeeded, it had felt like Heaven had descended on golden wings to bear him up to the pearly gates...

...Not that any of that actually happened, of course. But still, he'd gotten through to the only person who mattered. And Roxas's smile was far, far better than all that "pearly gate" nonsense, anyway.

Axel didn't need a stupid gravestone to prove he had existed. Roxas still had a heart out there somewhere, Axel could tell. Roxas would go on... even if Axel didn't. Even if the Roxas that went on wasn't quite the Roxas that Axel knew...He would still live on. Maybe, he would even be happy. That's all that mattered.

Axel didn't need a stupid gravestone to prove he had existed...as long as Roxas remembered him, then Axel had all the proof he needed.

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