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Happy Slightly Belated Valentines' Day!
Action at the Auction
Harry hadn't bothered to ask Eggsy or Miss. Morton who her mother approved suitor was. Why would it matter? Whoever he was, Miss. Morton had to have very sensible reasons for choosing to spurn his advances and enlist Eggsy's help in thwarting the other man's courtship. Or so he assumed. Once the actual auctioning began and Harry saw who was attempting to outbid Eggsy for the basket after the other twos quickly backed out, well then Harry had to wonder what he was missing. Because from where he was standing there was absolutely nothing objectable about the prime example of British manhood currently bidding three hundred and seventy-five pounds for Miss. Morton's basket.
Ah. Of course. This was about Charlie.
Charlie Hesketh was a loathsome little worm and Harry had very much enjoyed watching him fail his Kingsman trials. And not just because he'd been King's nominee at the time. A more egotistical, self-absorbed, over confident twat...well he did know some who were worse, but they were all at least twice the brat's age and had built up to that level of disgustingness. Charlie Hesketh had given every indication he'd been born that way. It was also fair to say that he and Miss. Morton had pretty much hated each other from the moment they'd met and Hesketh had been very vocal when he'd lost the position of Lancelot to her.
The young man now upping the bid to five hundred pounds was Charlie's older brother Edward. A brother who, from what Harry knew of him, was the complete opposite of his younger sibling. Edward was an Olympic athlete, a swimmer, and while the man had never managed to beat that American Phelps before the latter's retirement Harry had always interpreted that as proof that Edward Hesketh was a gentleman. As a Water Gifted, and a very powerful one at that, Edward could have easily won every meet he participated in without anyone being the wiser. Races were won by the fraction of a second sometimes, and there were a lot of ways Edward could have cheated. Harry could think of well over a dozen methods without straining himself.
But back to his original point Edward Hesketh was accomplished, successful, intelligent, and quite handsome from where Harry was standing. The two brothers might be twins in terms of height and coloring, but the buzzed hair, attractive stubble, and very appealing swimmer's build definitely made Edward the catch of the two. By a landslide.
"Are you eye fucking im?"
Looking at Eggsy's outraged face, Harry hurried to placate by assuring Eggsy that he hadn't. He was just admiring the man's suit. Which was excellent.
"Right."
"You're about to lose the bid." Harry pointed out, trying to distract.
Thankfully it worked as Eggsy put up his paddle for a bid of six hundred and twenty five pounds. Then bit down on his bottom lip to worry it when Edward raised him another fifty pounds. "Holy fuck is she serious? We're almost at seven hundred pounds. For a fucking picnic basket."
Harry looked over to see Miss. Morton giving Eggsy a look that warned him to keep his head in the game and win. Or else.
"Keep going."
"You posh lot are fucking ridiculous." Was Eggsy opinion as he called out 'seven hundred and fifty pounds'. "And I can't fucking believe I just said that."
Both turning to look in Hesketh's direction, Harry wondered what was going through the other man's head as he considered his competition. Or not his competition anymore as, at Aunt Celeste inquiry, he shook his head, indicating the bidding was over and Eggsy had won. How Edward felt about that Harry couldn't say, though he'd imagine that as a professional athlete the other man unquestionably didn't like to lose.
"I need a stiff drink."
Chuckling, Harry gave Eggsy's shoulder a squeeze while others applauded his generosity. "Steady on. We still have to get through Daisy's."
"Shit."
"Now, now. This should be over quickly." Emphasis on the 'should'.
Miss Morton had remained slightly off to the side throughout the bidding for her basket, Daisy partially hiding from everyone behind her legs. From his vantage point Harry could see his aunt motioning for her to come over, but was having zero luck. Now it looked like Miss. Morton was also attempting to get Daisy to at least show herself for a moment, but Daisy popping her head out to peek at the crowd before popping back out was the best they were going to manage without he or Eggsy up there.
Apparently figuring that out Aunt Celeste gave up and turned her attention back to the matter at hand.
"And now, Everyone, for our last entry. I'm please to present a member of my own family, my nephew Harry's ward, Daisy. She is the first child to ever participant in this auction, and asked to be a part of it after learning that the proceeds would go towards helping other children in need. Naturally, I was thrilled to let her. I should also add that anyone bidding on her basket should be aware that you will be thoroughly chaperoned by my nephew and her older brother. But I think the contents of her basket will more than make up for that. Daisy's basket features spinach salad with dried almond slivers, tomatoes, three types of cheese and a garlic dressing, as well as a garlic cheese loaf with green onions, diced tomatoes, and drizzled in garlic butter. There's also potato salad, authentic Southern fried chicken, lemonade, and fresh watermelon and chocolate biscuits for dessert."
Harry's stomach had been mildly interest in eating before his aunt had listed off all the food within Daisy's basket. Now his stomach threatened to embarrass him by growling loud enough for everyone to hear. And on that note...
"We have all that in your basket, yes?"
"Yes, Harry. I'll take good care of ya even if someone out bids us." Eggsy gave him a teasing wink softened by a fond look.
"Do I have a starting bid of three hundred pounds?"
His aunt the mercenary.
Restraining himself from rolling his eyes Harry raised his paddle to accept the opening bid. It wasn't like he wouldn't have donated generously anyway.
"Three hundred and twenty five?"
McAdam, who had bought two baskets already, raised his paddle. Because of course he would.
"Four hundred." He was not suffering a meal with that man. Not happening.
"Four hundred and fifty." McAdam called out.
"Five hundred."
"Five hundred and fifty."
Opening his mouth to up it again, and really he was prepared to set a record for most money paid for a basket if that's what it took, Harry abruptly closed his mouth when a very familiar voice called out from behind him.
"A thousand pounds."
Gasps and instant chatter erupted all around them while Harry casually turned around to look in the cause's direction, mentally preparing for anything.
"You do know that's a little over thirteen hundred dollars American, don't you?"
)
Grinning like the cat that got the canary, which wasn't an unusual expression for this particular American to be wearing, Tequila had thankfully forgone the cowboy hat for the first time of their acquaintance. Instead the cocky young man was wearing a very nice suit that complimented the Statesman's coloring and physique well while giving him a look of respectability save for that grin. As to why Tequila was here and attempting to buy his ward's picnic basket...Harry was hoping it was just gluttony or curiosity that had brought the boy here. He had plans for this evening that didn't include disposing of the man's body so thoroughly the rest of the Statesman would never find it.
"You're one of them cowboys, ain't cha?"
Tequila winked at Eggsy. "I thought I'd come see what ya did with my Meemaw's recipe."
"You Yanks really-"
"Well now, the current bid is a thousand pounds." Aunt Celeste couldn't have been happier as she unknowingly interrupted Eggsy from her place on stage. "Do I hear a thousand and fifty?"
Glancing in McAdam's direction Harry confirmed from the look on the man's face that he wasn't going to go any higher and then turned back to study Tequila. And surmising that the other man would keep going if necessary, Harry decided to forgo the bidding war and get to the part where the Statesman explained himself.
And they got to eat.
Shooting him a look that said she would have appreciated him squeezing more money out of the American, Harry's aunt called for any other takers a second time before conceding the win to Tequila.
"Well that was short but certainly sweet." Aunt Celeste beamed over at Daisy, who'd remained glued to Miss. Morton's side throughout. "Congratulations, Daisy. You've raised a thousand pounds to help other children."
He was too far away to see Daisy's face, but Harry imagined it would be quite comical if he could judging by the chuckling of those closest to the stage.
"All right then, thank you all so much for participating. Gentlemen, those of you who won a basket should proceed to the right of the stage where you can present a check for the winning amount or transfer the money electronically. Also, in approximately one and a half hours the polo match will begin, which I know we're all looking forward to as well. Bon Appétit."
Harry watched as the gentleman from before came over to help the girls with the baskets and then turned back to find Tequila and Eggsy engaged in a staring contest. Because of course they were.
Clearing his throat Harry moved in closer, pitching his voice so that only Tequila and possibly Eggsy would hear him. "I trust that you'll be on your best behavior around my ward, Tequila. While you couldn't ask for a finer last meal, I'd rather not have to kill you."
A cocky grin. "Now, now. I come in peace."
"And if I were to call Champ right now?"
Tequila looked a little less sure of himself for a moment, suggesting that his boss didn't know Tequila had decided to pay the Kingsmen a visit. But he quickly bounced back with the typical overconfidence of youth.
"I'll be on my best behavior. On my word."
Mentally shaking his head over Tequila crossing his heart for emphasis, Harry turned his attention to Eggsy as he stated that they should join the quay to pay for their baskets so that all the good picnicking spots wouldn't be taken.
"Lead the way, Hoss." Was Tequila's 'charming' resort. "Don't want to keep the ladies waiting."
Sharing a look with Eggsy Harry started walking in the direction of the stage, Eggsy moving to walk beside him with Tequila bookending Eggsy on the other side.
"So how long have you been dating the blonde?"
"Wot? Ya mean...nah, it ain't like that. She's me mate. And paying me back after this."
"Ah. Gotcha. I'll admit I was mighty confused when you started bidding on her. That you prefer brunets came through pretty loud and clear before."
The sidelong glance Eggsy aimed in Harry's direction made him smile. Probably like an idiot.
"Yeah."
It was tempting, so very tempting, to take Eggsy's hand or steal a kiss. But the way Tequila was smirking at him rather killed the moment.
"So why didn't your friend want the Beautiful Brit?"
"Beautiful Brit?" Eggsy repeated, eyebrows raising.
"Well I don't swing that way, but according to my sisters Edward Hesketh gets gold for sexiness. They actually wanted him to beat Phelps last Olympics." Tequila shook his head over that sacrilege. "On my side of the pond that's what they call him, right?"
"Edward Hesketh? That was Edward Hesketh? Holy fuck I didn't-I mean I thought he looked like im a little... But he was on the other side of the crowd and there was all these tall bastards in front and...shit. What the fuck was Rox thinkin? That bloke's sexy as fuck!"
He'd been thinking something similar earlier, so Harry had no right to be put out...but still...
"Shit. Do ya think I could still get an autograph from im?"
"I don't think your odds would be that good, Buddy."
"Damn."
"Language, Darling."
And all right, perhaps calling him darling wasn't entirely appropriate. But the pleased little smile Eggsy gave him made it clear Eggsy didn't mind in the slightest.
"So...he calls you darling. What's your pet name for him?"
While Harry gave Tequila a dark look for that Eggsy stated that he didn't have one for Harry. Which of course meant the two got to enjoy themselves listing off every annoying, overly cutesy, and outright offensive pet names they could think of.
Not being a fool Harry pointedly refused to react to any of them. It would only encourage them.
Instead he focused on spotting Daisy or Miss. Morton, though more so Miss. Morton since she was significantly taller than Daisy and therefore a lot easier to pick out of a crowd. And there proved to be quite the crowd around both girls as it looked to him like multiple people wanted to compliment Daisy on her decision to enter the charity event. Miss Morton had Daisy balanced on her hip and appeared to be doing her best to keep the three year old there even though Harry knew for a fact that the little girl was a lot heavier than she looked.
"Right. You two go and pay for your baskets, I'm going to rescue Daisy and Miss. Morton."
Trusting his orders would be followed Harry went into full Kingsman mode, his strides, expression, and body language making it clear that everyone better get the hell out of his way or they'd end up flattened under his oxfords. He also let enough of his power leak out that those with magical ability would naturally sense it and know that a heavy hitter was in their midst. So beware.
It was wonderfully effective.
A couple dozen 'Excuse mes' later, he was still a gentleman after all, Harry was in position to reach out, place his hands on Daisy's waist, and then with a gentle tug brought her up to his chest so that she could wrap her arms around his neck and bury her face against the safety of his neck. She even sighed his name with relief as she settled in, confident he'd free her from the cheek pinching hordes.
"Terribly sorry to interrupt, Everyone. I'm afraid my ward is on the shy side and large crowds tend to make it worse. Miss. Morton, the baskets?"
"They were taken with the others to wait until payment is made. And I know it's past Daisy usual lunch time so we should go get them now, shouldn't we. If you'll excuse us." Miss. Morton's regretful smile was perfectly paired with her determined gaze. "We'll have to caught up with you all later. During the match."
Appreciating her that much more Harry joined Miss. Morton in giving the crowd pleasant smiles and goodbyes all around, accepted some last minute compliments and goodbyes, and then as quickly as manners allowed they turned and beat a hasty retreat towards the pay line where Eggsy was standing with Tequila.
"The gentleman who won Daisy's basket is one of the Americans I recently did business with." Harry told her as they approached, holding her gaze for a telling moment before looking back in Tequila's direction. "I don't think he's here to cause trouble but keep an eye on him."
"Of course, Sir."
"And that was well done back there."
"Thank you, Sir."
"Harry is fine when we're not at work, Miss. Morton."
He could practically see her internal struggle over that for a minute, her feelings on it undecided as they came to a stop beside the other men, who were second and third in line respectively.
"There's my Flower. Ya did so good up there, Dais."
Slowly and cautiously Daisy turned her head to get the lay of the land, smiling at her brother before shooting a wary look in Tequila's direction. Pointing a finger in his direction Daisy identified him as 'The Cowboy Man'.
Tequila lifted a hand, then dropped it back when he realized there was no hat to tip in Daisy's direction. "You can just call me Channing, Little Lady. It's a right pleasure to meet you."
Still looking suspicious Daisy asked if the Caterpillar Man was with him.
"Him? Nah. I don't like him none either."
"He was mean."
"He can be. Plus that mustache of his went out of style in, like, the nineties."
"More like it should have never been in style." Was Eggsy's opinion.
"Aww, Selleck didn't do too bad with it."
"Who?"
"You might know him as the older man Monica was involved with in 'Friends'." Harry suggested.
Miss. Morton nodded immediately. "Oh, him."
The blank look Eggsy gave them made it clear he was still in the dark.
Pulling out her phone Miss. Morton typed away, showing off her multitasking skills by also pointing out to Eggsy that it was time for him to pay.
By the time Eggsy had done that Miss. Morton had brought up a site for Eggsy to look at, the blank look staying on his face as he stated that no, he still had no idea who this guy was. And that the moustache was still a mistake.
Some more scrolling down and then Eggsy's face brightened up. "Oh, he was the voice of adult Cornelius in 'Meet The Robinsons'. I love that movie."
Having just pulled out his wallet Tequila gave Eggsy a startled look. "Wait...he was?"
"According to this he was. I'll show you when you're done."
"Huh." Looking thoughtful Tequila took the machine from the man behind the table, inserting his card. "Actually yeah. That was him. And that family tree gag makes so much more sense. Damn, I haven't watched that movie in forever."
"Have you seen it, Harry?"
"No. We'll have to watch it sometime."
"It's a date." Eggsy assured him with a grin.
One Harry was quite happy to return.
"Me watch too?" Daisy wanted to know.
Of course you can, they assured her.
