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A Noisy Meal

It came as no surprise when they continued to get odd looks from those around them, they were all making a rather lot of noise after all. Still, Harry could at least comfort himself with the fact that he and his family were the least noisy of the bunch. Which in all honesty was mostly thanks to Eggsy and Daisy who enjoyed their food, but didn't feel the need to express it verbally. Their house elf magic must give them superpowers in that regard. It was the only logical explanation.

As for himself, well at least he was used to eating like a king while Miss. Morton had only eaten Eggsy's food a couple of times to the best of Harry knowledge. Edward and Tequila...well the former did do his best to at least stifle his reactions. Tequila wasn't even trying at this point.

Thank God Tequila wasn't his responsibility. Or any reflection on him. He could and would claim he was only sitting with the American because he'd bid on Daisy's basket.

But all that aside Harry found himself very much enjoying the chance to spend a lovely day outside with Eggsy and Daisy. Even if he would rather have been alone with the former given the earlier revelation that Eggsy was as interested in him as he'd been pretending he wasn't interested in Eggsy. Now that they'd gotten that sorted out...well it was still probably for the best that they were here since it would be hours yet before the two of them could be alone to further...discuss what they wanted from the other. If they were at home they'd have less to distract them and time would just drag on and on to spite them. Tequila's antics were certainly distracting, as was the food.

And so it was that they were all down to the last of their main course when it happened, Lord Cecil McAdam hard to miss as he came strolling over in their direction. More like lumbered in Harry's opinion, the man's fake smile doing nothing to hide the gleam in the prat's eyes that said he'd come to cause trouble.

"Ah, Hart, good to see you. I meant to say hello and greet your new family earlier, but the crowds, you know. This event of your aunt's gets more popular every year. But where are my manners, it's lovely to see you again, Miss. Morton. Hesketh." McAdam nodded to each in turn before looking at Tequila with faked casual curiosity. "And you are?"

"Tatum Channing. The company I work for does business with Kingsman occasionally. And you are?"

"Lord Cecil McAdam. Pleasure." Dismissing Tequila as being beneath his notice now that he knew the other man wasn't someone he'd heard of, McAdam turned his attention back to who had likely precipitated his visit in the first place. "And correct me if I'm wrong, but these are the children you've adopted, Harry?"

Having expected the jab Harry merely showed his teeth in warning. "This is my ward, Daisy, and her older brother Eggsy. Who is far too old to need adopting."

"Hi." Eggsy lifted his glass in greeting before taking a deep sip, giving him an excuse not to say more. Or to muffle whatever he was saying into the lemonade.

Daisy, naturally, continued eating. Very few things could hold her attention long at the dinner table.

"I see. And you're the 'cook' who prepared Miss. Daisy's interesting basket, are you not?"

Recognizing the fact that the man has used the word 'cook' as an insult, Harry considered various responses before deciding to use the quickest, most lethal method of disposal currently in his arsenal. One did have to take their surroundings into consideration after all.

"Eggsy is an amazing chef, yes. I'm sure someone such as yourself, who's devoted so much of his life to seeking out the finest food the world has to offer knows that it's often the simplest of foods that bring us the greatest pleasure. But don't take my word for it. Care to sample some of his chicken?"

"Wait...what?" Tequila gave him a look of stunned confusion. Possibly because the American had eaten all of his already and had only minutes before attempted to convince Harry to give up his last piece without success.

"Eggsy, would you pass me the extra fork and knife from the basket, please."

Shooting him a look that said he knew Harry was up to something, Eggsy still did as asked and handed over the spare utensils he'd brought in case their own needed to be replaced.

Thanking Eggsy for the assist Harry took the utensils from him and then cut off a mouthful's worth of his as yet untouched chicken. Then piercing it with the fork Harry held it out towards McAdam. The 'I dare you' went unsaid, but Harry could see from the look on McAdam's face that the unspoken message was coming through loud and clear.

"I suppose..." Leaning down to take the fork handle from Harry, McAdam straightened up and then looked over the piece of chicken critically. "It does look like it's been cooked correctly."

Tensing up in preparation Harry slapped his hands over his ears just as McAdam bit into the chicken. There were just some sounds he did not want to hear.

Judging by the expression on the faces of his adult companions...they wished they'd done the same.

McAdam's expression was bad enough.

Eggsy's 'Ewww.' was under his breath, but Harry could easily relate.

"Tell me I wasn't that bad." Tequila murmured to Miss. Morton, who just smirked at him.

"That was-I've never-the chicken was so moist and the herb choices..." Trailing off McAdam stared at the now empty prongs on the fork before ever so slowly his gaze shifted over to the direction of Harry's plate. And the fried chicken still sitting on it with the remains of the rest of Harry's lunch.

And having waited for just that moment Harry picked up the piece of chicken with his bare hands and then bit into it.

The look on the man's face...priceless.

And it only got better watching the prick frantically look around to each of the people's plates, then the containers. Fruitless searching for an untouched piece of fried chicken and coming up empty. Harry's chicken had been the last untouched piece.

"There's...no more?"

Eggsy's bottom lip quivered for a moment before he firmed it up. "Sorry, Bruv. That's it."

"I...see. It was-you have a gift, young man. And I-I really should be going but-If you'll excuse me."

Face red with pent up emotion, McAdam gave Harry a pathetically disguised look of fury and then nearly ended up sprawled on the grass as he spun around on his heels in his haste to leave.

Not the most graceful of men, McAdam. Harry was a little sorry the man had caught himself in time. But at least he'd gotten it all on video.

"Was he tearin up?" Eggsy wanted to know once the man in question was out of earshot.

Looking just as shocked as Eggsy Miss. Morton nodded, stating that she thought he had been.

"That was fucking evil." Tequila stated after a minute or so of silence, the look he aimed at Harry suggesting that he thought he was looking at the devil himself. "Like Voldemort or Valentine evil. No...like Bellatrix Lestrange evil."

While this wasn't the first time someone had accused him of being evil, or even sadistic, Harry took some offense to being compared to all three of those individuals. At the very least he had the intelligence to know that trying to rule or control the world and its population was a pointless endeavor. Only idiots aspired to that level of stupidity, thank you very much.

But rather than complain about the comparison Harry simply reminded Tequila that he wasn't to swear in front of Daisy before taking another bite of his chicken.

"Out of morbid curiosity...just what did he do to you in a previous life to deserve that?"

Raising his eyebrows, Harry had to smirk a little as he stated that he wouldn't have taken Edward for someone who believed in reincarnation.

"I don't, in the traditional sense. But I would have heard about it if he'd done something in this life to deserve that, and I haven't. Ergo you must believe he did something truly heinous to deserve that."

"Jeez, it ain't like he kicked a puppy in ta traffic or somethin. I mean that was damn mean, no question, but quit makin it sound so bad. It was just chicken."

"You have no idea how good your food is, do you?"

"Ya all make it pretty clear it's good the way ya carry on." Flushing in reaction to Miss. Morton's backhanded compliment, Eggsy shook his head. "Ya'd think ya all grew up in the estates, not us. My cookin is good, yeah, but you all grew up with chefs and goin ta fancy restaurants all over the place."

"I have travelled all over the world both for pleasure and competitions, and I can say in all seriousness that you have a gift when it comes to cooking, Eggsy. You should take pride in your abilities." Edward added with a smile. "And feed your friends often. By which I mean myself. And Roxanne."

Lips twitching in amusement Eggsy just shook his head at them while Tequila piped up that he was Eggsy's friend too.

"Ya live on the other side of an ocean, remember? How the heck am I supposed ta feed ya? Care packages?"

"To better relations between our countries, yes."

"Bruv...we got enough problems with Brexit without you Yanks getting more involved with us."

"Brexit. Don't even get me started on that foolishness. The EU is going to make us pay through the nose for decades once the government is forced to admit they can't go through with it. Not if they have brains in their heads, anyway."

Agreeing with Edward's statement one hundred percent, Harry and Miss. Morton joined Edward in discussing the problem while Tequila did his best to convince Eggsy that it was of international importance that Eggsy keep feeding him in the future.

Eggsy wasn't buying it.

But both conversations continued right up until Edward casually helped himself to one of the chocolate biscuits set out near him and took a bite.

The sound he made...well it made Harry think that should the man ever become destitute he could have one hell of a second career in the porn industry.

Damn.

Even Daisy stopped eating long enough to stare at him like everyone else.

"Ya sound like Mr. Merwin." Was her opinion before Daisy went back to eating her own biscuit.

No, he definitely didn't sound like Merlin, Harry silently corrected, but apparently he was just as much a choco-holic as the Scotsman.

Oh, dear.

Harry was going to go out on a limb and guess that they weren't going to have enough biscuits.

)

In the end Harry and Eggsy selflessly opted to stick with the watermelon and Miss. Morton's cheesecake so that the others could enjoy more biscuits. And Edward and Tequila's reactions to them. Though their verbal 'enthusiasm' didn't exactly help distract Harry from thinking about what would happen after this event either, when he and Eggsy had a chance to be alone together in the privacy of their own home once Daisy went to bed. It also made him think of several uses for chocolate that he was sure Eggsy would appreciate were he to suggest them later on. Unfortunately they weren't the best thoughts to be having given how expertly tailored his trousers were.

The way Eggsy occasionally squirmed beside him suggested he wasn't the only one thinking and reacting in ways not exactly appropriate for their surroundings.

But in short order the biscuits were gone and they were left dealing with two men in the process of slipping into happy food comas, Miss. Morton only slightly better off as she nibbled on a piece of watermelon.

Tequila, showing a complete lack of dignity, let himself fall backwards to lay sprawled out on the grass. "Ugh. I might never move again."

"I told you not to eat that last biscuit."

"Cookie. They're called cookies." Tequila informed Miss. Morton, eyes still closed as he threatened to slip into a food coma before their very eyes. "You Brits and your weird names for things. Calling fries crisps and soccer football."

"They're not cookies or biscuits. They're ambrosia." Sighing, a look of utter contentment on his face, Edward patted his stomach before sending a killer smile in Eggsy's direction that had a blush heating up the younger man's cheeks. "If I thought Hart would let me steal you away and live to enjoy your food, I would."

"But I wouldn't, so you'll have to contend yourself with visiting us occasionally."

"Harry." Eggsy elbowed him in the side, the look he gave him equal parts affection and exasperation.

"I don't blame him. And we're definitely exchanging phone numbers and email before we part ways."

"Yeah? Aces."

Lacing his fingers with Eggsy's Harry gave them a squeeze. Smiled when Eggsy squeezed back.

"I full, Unca Harry."

Harry glanced over in her direction. "That's no surprise." She'd eaten quite a lot considering her stomach was a lot smaller than the rest of theirs. "Come here and we'll get that apron off you then."

"Kay."

Getting to her feet Daisy walked over and around Eggsy, surprising him. Instead she came to him with an expectant look, Harry touched as he undid the strings for her. Shifting up to his knees Harry slid the neck strap off and then handed it off to Eggsy when he held out his hand for it.

When Daisy held out her arms Harry naturally picked her up and brought her over and against his chest, thinking she needed a hug due to all the people around them and the overstimulation of it all now that the food wasn't distracting her. He didn't expect her to curl up in his lap for a snuggle, though he didn't mind in the least. He was happy to wrap an arm around her waist, his other hand returning to take Eggsy's.

His family.

Leaning over Eggsy reminded Daisy not to fall asleep. There was still the polo match to watch after all.

"Ponies." Daisy agreed, though sleepily.

"Pass."

Out of curiosity, Harry asked Tequila if he'd ever watched a polo match before.

With a loud, exaggerated groan Tequila propped himself up on his elbows to look in Harry's direction. "You gonna tell me I'm missing out? It's like playing croquet with ponies. Who wants to watch that?"

"Quite a lot of people, actually. It's one of the world's oldest team sports and considered by some to be the sport of kings."

"Ya like it that much, Harry?"

"God no. I find it rather tedious after a while. But it's still deserving of more respect as a sport than golf, just for instance."

That earned him a laugh from everyone except Daisy. She was fast asleep in Harry's lap.

)

Once they'd packed up their baskets and folded up their blankets it was time to return their things to the car and then come back just in time for the polo match to begin. They could have handed it all to Aunt Celeste's staff for safekeeping until the event was over but Eggsy figured there was no point in that and they could all do with some stretching and walking anyway. Particularly Tequila so he wouldn't slip further into the food induced coma and require them to carry him about like a child. Tequila, for his part, was so food happy he didn't take any offense to that. Or the reminder that he would need to write Eggsy a check to pay him his winnings if he didn't have the cash.

No, Tequila was content to help carry stuff while still inquiring as to how he could go about arranging a monthly care package from Eggsy. That Eggsy couldn't see that working out well given the ocean between them and the sort of food Tequila was asking him for didn't seem to faze the American in the least.

Edward and Miss. Morton, who were now strolling arm in arm, both seemed to enjoy good naturedly needling Tequila about their much easier access to Eggsy's cooking too.

"Where there's a will there's a way." Tequila informed them sagely.

Eggsy, who was now carrying Daisy while Harry carried their basket, rolled his eyes in the Statesman's direction. "I ain't sayin no about feedin ya, especially as ya said Daisy could keep her basket, but I can't mail ya fried chicken and all that other stuff ya want. The biccies, yeah, but not the rest."

"True enough. Which is why I'm just gonna have to talk Champ into sending me here once a month or so to stock up on the essentials. We can bribe him with more of your cookies. And pecan tarts. He loves those things." Tequila frowned. "Crap...he might insist on coming instead of me. New plan...I can become a liaison between our two companies." Tequila shot a hopeful look in Harry's direction. "You can make that happen, right?"

Harry didn't even have to think about that one.

"No."

"Oh come-"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Eggsy was not put on this earth to feed all my business acquaintances. Merlin is bad enough. And if I was going to ask for someone from your camp to work directly with mine I would pick Ginger."

The puppy dog look Tequila aimed in his direction was impressive...but both Eggsy and Daisy did it better.

"No."