Your Beautiful
10/04/1994

Disclaimer: TT?Not mine. Sigh.

Author's note: Your beautiful, inspired my james blunt's song, your beautiful.And you must think I'm crazy starting another story. Yeah yeah, I get side tracked. This is my first drabble. I had to get it out.

And in this story I share with you readers why Starfire and Robin do not belong with each other. And in the next, I tell you why Raven and Robin belong together.

I shouldn't be here. I should be back at titan's tower, tracking Slade. Out on the streets patrolling jump city. Keeping an eye on control freak. Looking for Red X. Heck, we should be back there filing! Training...

I Richard Grayson, isin a relationshipto Koriand'r. The first girl who kissed me. She is now twenty six, so am I. She has vibrant, crimson flowing hair to her waist, it is extremely gorgeous. But not as beautiful as hers. It was always in place; always shining. Her height and pretty features could make it on every and any cover of a magazine. She could tour the world, strut down red carpets. She could have afforded all the diamonds she wanted. To put it simply, she is very pretty. And perhaps always will be.

But I dont want pretty.

Beauty, is something I'm looking for.

But she's no model. She has more important things to do. Like save the world.


Let talk about me shall we? I'm an inch shorter than my girlfriend Starfire. It would seem awkward for any couple. More to men than woman. But it is a great relief from being a head shorter than your girlfriend. My hair is still short, contrary to popular belief. I will never grow it out. It frames my face messily in a rugged sort of way. BeastBoy says it would attract all the girls in the world

But I dont want all the girls in the world. I dont want any girl. I want her.

It doesn't matter anyway. I am in a relationship. And an errant boyfriend is a bad boyfriend. Besides,it is most disrespectful to woman.

Kori and I? Wer're the best of friends. We may have our differences, but we get along okay. We both enjoy laughing. We both look for beauty in the world. We are very fond of each other. We enjoy each other's company...Most of the time.

But I'm not looking for ...for...fondness...I'm looking for love.

But there are sometimes I doubt her...I doubt me...I doubt us. We're as different as light and dark. I shared all my secrets with her. My past, how I grew up without my biological parents, how I grew up with the Batman. I showed her everything... the spirit of determination that drives me insane, the colour of my heart, the colour of my eyes...

She wanted it to be green. She hoped it would be green. She thought it to be green. I hated to disappoint her.

I told her my secrets...it is all very solemn to me. I dare not smile, I shiver uncontrollably when I think about my past. I stutter when I reveal my secrets. I cry when I do so.

She nodded, fearful of saying anything to upset that fragile me. And when I took off my mask, she could see that weakness in my eyes. Shes still a bit too naive to understand...

The part I never showed to anyone. Never! I sweared to myself no one was to know... No one was to know when I turned into Robin. No one was to know except Bruce, Alfred and I... It was fun keeping this is a secret! At first, really it was.

And when. I realised, how many others I forced myself to keep...It wasn't too fun anymore.

I planned to show myself. The real me. Both Robin and Richard Grayson, to the one.

Everyone has the one. It only depends if you can find them. And there is only one special person on this planet for you. I always believed that. It just depends whether you have found him or her.

It depends whether you have lost her...

I only planned to show the one. And I realised how wrong I was, how terribly mistaken I was. I learnt that, when...

Robin shivered uncontrollably when he moved his hands towards his face. It seemed terribly frightening to the young adult. But he forced his hand o move. Convinving himself that it was just the first time in five years had he showed his eyes to anyone. So he went through with it.

But somewhere. Pieces where scattered everywhere. Everwhere in the darkest corners of his mind. Pieces of a picture. A moment he had been dreaming, wishing and imaginating in his mind. A moment that would last forever.

A beautiful picture of two Romantics. Blushing. He would show her everything and she would smile. She would smile and understand. And everything would be bliss. The moment that could last forever...

Broke to bits.

He peeled off the mask, while he was doing that. Starfire was leaning closer and closer to his face. Trying to sneak a peek before he removed the whole thing. The more she stared trying to make out the colour, the slower his hands moved, until he stopped dead. No matter how much he tried his hands wouldn't move. And the more he stood there motionless, the more she would stare.

It was then he was so sick of the uncomfortable feeling he ripped it off his face. And wanted to cry. She softened her stare. Instead of pure bliss filling her face, it was drowned by disappointment.

Robin gave her a weak questioning face.

"It is nice...Boyfriend Robin..."She said casually, without an ounce of sincerity in her honey glazed voice. "But I always thought it would be green..."

"You look fine Starfire!"I pleaded. "Now can we please go? We have to get back to the tower, train. Look for Slade. Heck! We should be there filling paper work!"

Starfire gave me a condescending look. I scowled back. "I am asking you to speak nicely." She said darkly.

I just waved it carelessly off.

"Okay Friend, I shall chose this red skirt!" She bubbled happily.

This girl has mood swings every 5 minutes. Happy sad happy sad, why cant she just make up her mind?

"You are lying to me!"Starfire fumed. "You went to see Friend Raven, no?" She asked, voiced raised.

"I haven't seen Raven in years!"

But how I wished I could...

Starfire ignored that statement and said:"I never wish to speak to you again!" with that she left the room, crying her eyes out, leaving Robin alone. Leaving him dropping onto his knees.

"Raven..."

She pulled my hand through the crowd, leading us to the subway. "Let us take this train ok? I have never done so in my life." She said enthuiastically.

I nodded and offered a weak smile...

I have never been too happy with myself. Not ever since she quit. Not ever since I broke her heart and left her to die... I am really sorry.

Sincere, for once in five years.

I grieve over the loss of my only one. I grieve over the loss of my past life.

The past life with Raven...

The only one I loved enough to let go. I couldn't because I loved her far too much to let her know. Loved her more than life itself to keep her with me...To keep her unhappy.

I really regret taking the subway. It is noisy, warm and crowded...

Infact,sometimes I miss her so much, I am beginning to sound like her. Moody, negative, pessimistic, depressed, dark...

Dark, my friends said that I needed a light in my life. So they were overjoyed when I got together with Starfire. They said that she was my light in my life, she said she would change my view of my young childhood, they said it would help me get over...

Raven!

I saw a flash of purple move quickly. The purple, was not light yet not dark. It was a perfect purple. A nice indigo, violet, onyx. It seemed so much like Raven's. This brought comfort to me.

Finally after people shuffled around, they cleared a good view of what or who was that beautiful shade of violet.

Its Raven! I had a strange impulse to run over and leap into her arms. But my body sat there rigid.

My beautiful, gorgeous Raven. How I missed you! Her hair was still the same length and she was much taller now. But still not as tall as me. Her skin tone, still grey but I dont wont have it any other grey. Although there is not much distinct change in her, she is a grown and beautiful woman.

I have pictures of my Raven. But a photograph is just a photograph. Though I cant run over and spirit her away in my arms. Seeing her brought that childhood joy back to me more than ever.

Then I saw Aqualad. There he was holding Raven's arm. I would give up anything in my life to be him! Though some might find jealousy commen to this sight. I felt nothing of that sort.

I feel a sort of grattitude towards my fishy friend. It seemed like he had mended her broken heart and put a smile on my girl's face...

She broke eye contact with him and turned to...Dont tell me she's looking in my direction...

Our eyes met. Or, my masked eyes met her lovely violet eyes.

I felt my heart throg against my ribcage, threatening to tear out of my chest. I was paralyzed. Not just paralyzed from hips down. All the way, my lips, my eyes, my ears, my fingers, my feet! I cant move any of them.

My gaze was just locked on that girl I missed so much.

No one could see me stare. But she knows. She can see right through me.

But how can she not know I love her?

Her indigo eyes sparkled at me, the same sparkle I missed ever so much. Her rosebud lips formed a sincere and happy smile to me. We shared a moment that could last till the end...

I wanted to respond. I wanted to smile back but-

I'm not happy being with Starfire! I missed her, I missed her smile, I missed her laugh, I missed us!

I missed my chance...

She smiled wider as a goodbye and Aqualad and my beautiful juliet got off at this stop. I took every moment I could to study her. This is going to be my picture, my photograph for the rest of my life. I cannot possibly forget this photo. Who can forget such a lovely face like hers?

Your Beautiful... its true