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A Picture's Worth
Shaking his head at the two of them, and Harry was hard pressed to blame him, Merlin pulled out his phone and after a few clicks and swipes held it out to Harry, telling him to pass it to Eggsy. On the screen was a recent picture of Samantha outside the mansion she was currently residing in according to their files. He recognized the gate and the abundance of red roses visible on one side of the image. Passing the phone over Harry gave Eggsy a moment to study the image before asking the younger man if she looked familiar to him.
Eggsy studied it for another minute or so more before shaking his head. "Course it's real easy ta change your look these days. Specially if you're a girl. The hair would be what stands out but it don't ring any bells."
Harry knew exactly what Eggsy's meant about the vampire's hair. Originally from Dublin, Ireland, Samantha had the wild red curls to prove it. She looked to be in her mid to late thirties, a handsome woman with curves to spare on a short frame. Rather than a bombshell she was lovely from a distance...then she was just dangerous once you were up close and personal and her vampire nature equally seduced and terrified you.
"Samantha is very fond of her hair so odds are she won't disguise it."
Eggsy shot him a questioning look. "Ow come ya call her by her first name? You're normally so proper bout that sort of thing."
Merlin answered before Harry could explain.
"It's because she's a vampire, Lad. They live so long that they have to constantly change their names and identities so that humans don't realize they aren't aging. Many vampires, including Samantha, have a habit of keeping their first name or last name as often as possible while the other name varies. The smart ones hold tight to what reminds them of who they were before they were changed. Keeps them saner longer."
"Got it." Eggsy glanced down at the screen again for a moment then looked up and over. "Oi, Flower. Come ere a minute."
Glancing up from her coloring Daisy set aside her purple crayon and then came running over in her adorable toddler way, eager to see whatever it was Eggsy wanted to show her on the phone.
"See this lady? She ain't nice so if ya see her ya stay away, ya hear?"
Daisy looked at the picture. "She gots pretty hair."
Harry sighed in almost perfect unison with Merlin. Eggsy was made of sterner stuff.
"Mr. Fluffy's real pretty too. Ya remember wot happened when ya wanted ta pet im?"
The look on Daisy's face made it quite clear that she remembered why this Mr. Fluffy wasn't to be trusted. She even went so far as to fist her hands and draw them up against her chest in an X, making it clear she wouldn't be trying to pet that particularly animal ever again. Which begged the question...
"Who is Mr. Fluffy?"
"A... what's it called? Hold on a tic." Drawing the phone back to him Eggsy used it to look up lap dog breeds on Google. "Right. However ya pronounce this one, that's what Mr. Fluffy is. He belongs ta this lady named Mrs. Bishop. She walks im in the park all the time. She's as nice as her mutt is nasty."
"Shih Tzu." Harry informed him.
"Are ya serious? That's really ow ya say it?"
"Yes."
"Poor thing. No wonder he picks fights with everything that moves. He got screwed twice over, name wise."
Leaning forward Harry gave Daisy's head a pat as he asked if the dog had scared her. Obviously it hadn't bitten her, or he'd have heard about it. And likely gotten quite riled up on her behalf.
A solemn nod was Daisy's response.
"No worries. He didn't hurt her." Eggsy gave Harry's shoulder a reassuring bump. "He went into a growlin fit afor her hand got near im. And we asked first, but Mrs. Bishop...well she don't see that it's her dog that's the problem. It just needs ta be trained properly, really. Probably. Little dogs are funny things."
Having owned a Yorkshire terrier Harry could testify to that fact himself.
"Mr. Fluffy is mean." Daisy stated before making growling noises, her hands coming up and curling into mock claws as she glared at Harry menacingly. Or tried to do. It was actually pretty adorable the way she did it.
Laughing, Eggsy set Merlin's phone on the arm of the couch and then twisted around a little to retrieve his own phone from his trouser pocket. A few clicks and swipes and then he pointed it at Daisy and asked her to do her Mr. Fluffy impersonation for him again.
Naturally she was delighted.
"Good job, Flower." Eggsy gave her a thumbs up and then began fiddling with his phone again before holding it out to her screen first.
That earned a screech of delight, Daisy literally vibrating with glee as she watched herself.
Then Eggsy towards the screen towards Harry, revealing the fact that he'd somehow given the little girl puppy ears and nose to go along with her performance. It was too perfect. The giant tongue she sported at the end was a bit disconcerting though.
"Let's see it then."
Grinning in amusement Eggsy gave Daisy the phone to deliver to Merlin so that he could see too.
"How did you do that?"
"It's an app."
"Say no more." He didn't understand ninety percent of the apps and thingies on Eggsy phone despite the various explanations he'd been given since Eggsy and Daisy had come into his life. Daisy knew how to work today's phones better than he did sometimes. It would have been mortifying if not for-no. It was mortifying in all honesty. He truly hated technology sometimes. Thank all the powers that be that Merlin had learned how to explain the important, work related stuff to him over their long career together. Though it had probably cost Merlin at least some of the hair he'd once possessed.
"I'll show ya some fun stuff later if ya want." Eggsy offered.
"Oi. None of that around me or the Lass."
"I didn't mean that sort of fun. Though now that ya mention it..." Eggsy winked in Harry's direction.
Merlin made a gagging noise while Harry did his best not to think of just what sort of fun Eggsy might be referring to. Which was no easy thing.
"Right. If that's how the two of you are going to be then I'll head out."
"You mean you've been fed and passed along your message so now you're leaving." Harry corrected dryly, shooting his friend a knowing look as he joined Merlin in getting to his feet. Eggsy doing the same while Daisy asked her Mr. Merwin if he was chokin on somethin?
"Quite all right, Flower. Here, give your brother back his phone for me?"
"Kay."
While Daisy did that Harry motioned Merlin towards the front door. He'd see him out.
Naturally Eggsy and Daisy joined them at the door to add their goodbyes to his, the three of them waving Merlin off as the Scotsman's got into his car.
He'd come back when he got hungry.
)
The rest of the day went pretty well aside from the drawing on the wall incident. Daisy had decided that her coloring book wasn't allowing her enough artistic freedom and instead decided to color on a wall while Harry was busy with a phone call in the next room. This was apparently not the first time she'd colored there either, though it was the first time Harry had been the one to catch her at it. That she didn't cry or try to run to Eggsy for fear of being punished when he called her out on it struck Harry as a good demonstration of how far they'd come since she'd first arrived to live with him. And she proved her intelligence by pointing out that Ryan had been allowed ta color on her walls, so why couldn't she?
It was a sound argument. One that was hard to argue with even as Harry forced himself to tell her that there was a difference. Namely that Ryan had permission. And could actually draw something a normal human being could recognize, but Harry left that part out.
And after telling her that she would have to clean the wall, but he would help, Harry left her to retrieve the necessary cleaning supplies to remove the crayon from the wall. Only Daisy refused to erase her artwork when he returned. She stuck out her little chin, crossed her arms, and stared up at him with all the stubbornness that could exist in a three-year old's small body.
Which was intimidating as hell.
Thankfully he'd had to consult with Eggsy first about what was needed to remove crayon from a wall and so his better half had accompanied him out to see the damage for himself. And possibly to make sure that Harry didn't back down on punishing her for breaking the rules.
Either way when she hypothetically put her foot down Eggsy did the same, stating that there would be no dessert for her at dinner if she didn't clean up the mess she'd made. He'd help her like before, but she had to help.
That had brought on a hint of tears. Why didn't they like her drawings?
Harry of course had lied through his teeth and assured her that he didn't dislike her drawings, she was very talented, but she had to reserve her brilliance for paper.
What he didn't say was that in all honesty bloody Bors had insured that Harry couldn't look at many of Daisy's drawings without thinking morbid thoughts. Especially since she did like the color red a lot.
She did not like, however, being told that she couldn't draw on the walls.
Demonstrating that he was as smart as he was good looking Eggsy offered to take a picture of her artwork on his phone and print it out for her later. Then her artwork would live on long after they'd removed the 'art' from the wall.
Thank all the powers that be that she was willing to go along with that compromise. So long as she got to be in the picture too, of course.
Once the picture was taken Eggsy handed out the rags they'd be using and then assigned them their wall space to clean, Daisy situated between them so that she was under constant supervision to make sure she did her share.
"This works surprisingly well." Harry noted after a couple minutes of awkward silence.
"Yeah. Wot my mum always used."
Daisy, Harry noted, was doing a rather excellent job of demonstrating her house elf blood as she scrubbed away without getting frustrated or pretending to do it. She was doing a very thorough job of it. Better than he was, actually.
Eggsy smiled at him over Daisy's bent head, then winked at him in a way that Harry didn't interpret as sexy. More like a warning.
Which, as it turned out, was precisely what it had been.
"So, Flower. Just so ya know, if ya get scared at night, and I ain't in my bed, come knockin at Uncle Harry's door, all right. I might be in there."
Oh fuck. More warning than a bloody wink would have been appreciated.
Daisy, meanwhile, paused in her scrubbing to look over at her brother. "Why?"
Yes, Eggsy, how are you going to explain this to a three year old, Harry silently wondered, not sure he was mentally or physically prepared for the answer.
"Cause he's my boyfriend now, kay?"
Really? He was just going to blurt it out like that and-
"Ya mean he's your prince." Daisy corrected very primly, turning her head to look at Harry with big, knowing eyes. "Right, Unca Harry?"
"Ah, right."
"Kay."
Wait. That was it? If you just told them the truth instead of concocting weird and elaborate stories to distract them from the truth you could move on without countless 'Why?' questions? He'd definitely have to remember this for future reference.
"Can we have puddin for dinner?"
"Sure. What kind would ya like, Flower?"
"Vanilla."
All right. Apparently it was that easy. Brilliant.
Though Harry imagined a couple white hairs might have sprung up over the course of this very short conversation. He'd have to check later, when he had the chance.
)
The following morning Harry was functioning again on less sleep than he was used to but wasn't at all sorry about it. Well maybe a little sorry, but overall Harry thought that Eggsy was rather worth the loss. He'd learn to function on less sleep just as he'd taken to working out more to counteract Eggsy's cooking. It was all worth it in the end. Especially since Eggsy's happiness would have made it worth the lost sleep alone, let alone what they'd been doing to make the both of them rather happier than Harry had ever been, certainly.
But yes, he was dragging just a tad by the time they headed off in the car to go to the tailor shop for Eggsy and Daisy's first real introduction to Kingsman.
And part of his less than bright mood was the fact that Harry wasn't sure what Eggsy would make of Kingsman once he knew the truth about what it all involved and what the agents he'd met or had yet to meet were tasked with doing all over the world. Their work was often bloody, dangerous, and violent. Nightmare inducing. And while Eggsy wasn't joining the organization, God no, Harry still didn't like the idea that any of that would touch him even on the periphery.
Of course he'd touched Eggsy plenty the night before and the one before that, and his hands were far from clean.
Harry frowned at the thought. And about the stories other agents might now feel free to tell Eggsy about him after Eggsy's signed the non-disclosure forms. Especially if they were even now plotting how to steal Eggsy from him so that he'd cook for them instead. It wouldn't surprise Harry in the slightest. He wasn't even sure he could trust Merlin.
He'd have to limit Eggsy's exposure to them until he could send out a memo detailing exactly what he'd do should any of them be thinking about telling tales on him, Harry decided. Not to mention the fact that he had access to all their files and would unquestionably be able to dig up plenty of dirt on them in return.
Glancing over his shoulder, Eggsy had volunteered to drive, Harry checked to make sure that Daisy was still fine, which she was. She knew that they were visiting the shop and Merlin today and had insisted on packing extra biccies for their lunch so that Mr. Merwin wouldn't eat all of hers.
She wasn't wrong to worry about that.
Which also begged the question of just how many biscuits were made and stored in their home on any given day. Sometimes it felt like they must have a lifetime supply hiding somewhere, the way they went through them. Or seemed to. He should take a peek in their freezer next time he was in its vicinity.
"Wot ya thinking about?"
"How many biscuits Merlin must now eat in a week."
"Ya probably don't want ta know. Though at least he eats good stuff too. I don't want ta know ow much junk he ate before I started feedin im."
Harry was in total agreement that Eggsy wouldn't want to know and said so.
"Figured as much."
The sound of his phone ringing in his pocket had Harry apologizing for the interruption and then pulling it out to see who was calling. Damn. His mother.
Accepting the call Harry brought the phone up to his ear. "Hello, Mother."
"Good morning, my sweet boy. It is morning over there, yes? You know I'm horrible with time zones."
"I know. And yes, it's morning."
"Wonderful. How are you?"
"I'm very well, thank you. You caught me on my way to work as it happens. Everything all right?"
"Fine, fine. Don't worry that I'll keep you. I just had a couple of things to tell you." A pause, possibly for dramatic effect. "I'm afraid that I've broken up with my banker. Well, not my banker anymore. And never to be again, let me tell you. As it turned out he was-well let's not get into that. Only to say that he was not the man I thought he was. I'm on my way to Germany-catching up with some old friends before coming home-and thought I'd tell you I'll be back in England in a couple of weeks, I should think."
"Do I need to have words with your banker?"
His mother's bright, airy laugh answered that question before she assured him that no, there was no need for him to don his armor and defend her honor.
Glad to hear that seeing as Daisy wouldn't take kindly to him leaving the city, much less the country any time soon, Harry expressed the sentiment that he hoped she had a lovely time in Germany and that he looked forward to seeing her when she got back.
A bit of an exaggeration, that. But she was his mother.
"Oh I will, Darling, I will."
He didn't doubt it.
"Now how are Eggsy and Daisy? Celeste was all but raving to me when we talked yesterday. It seems that Daisy's entry in the picnic auction caused quite the stir and now everyone is saying that more children should be encouraged to enter. I told her I thought that was an absolutely marvelous idea."
"Unless someone bids on one of their baskets for all the wrong reasons."
"So cynical."
A truth that had kept him alive for decades despite his dangerous profession. Which his mother was largely in the dark about so Harry couldn't point that out to her.
"I'm glad the event was a success. We had a very enjoyable time."
"So I hear. She had quite a LOT to say about your Eggsy."
"I'm sure she did."
"Anything you'd like to tell me in that regard, Sweetie?"
Damn.
