May we rain upon Team Rocket's parade some more in:


#35: Death by Mario

In the deep dungeons of one of Bowser's fortresses, we see the famous hero, Super Mario, hopping over the various traps and obstacles, until he reaches his ultimate destination at its end, where would fight Bowser and rescue the princess.

However…something was wrong…

There was nothing waiting for him. No sign of opposition…and once he reached where the princess was to be held, she was not there either. Instead…

"Huh?" Mario says as he sees a small, beat-up mail delivery truck drive up to him from the opposite end of the dungeon halls. Once it stops a few feet in front of him, our hard-luck heroes: Team Rocket, exits the vehicle and approaches him with a letter.

"Delivery for Mr. Fatass?" Meowth says, reading the front of the letter before handing it over to Mario.

"It's-a Mario…" Mario corrects him as he takes the letter and reads it out loud.


Dear Red Bastard, Sorry, but the princess is in another castle.

Your arch-nemesis, Bowser

PS: RAWR!


As Mario stares at the letter near speechless, James approaches him with his hand held out.

"That'll be $50 in delivery charges," James tells him.

"But…but…that's-a impossible!" Mario says, ignoring Jame's request. "This is the eighth-a castle, I always defeat-a Bowser and rescue the princess in the eighth-a castle!" Mario says, sounding a bit confused by the situation. Before they knew it, Mario began crumbling up the note and tossing it to the ground to stomp on it.

"Um sir, will you just pay us so we can move on with our next delivery?" Jessie asks Mario, sounding a bit impatient.

"Shut-up! You don't-a know the half of it! For twenty-five-a years I have been saving Peach from that-a damn dinosaur! This is-a so frustrating!" Mario says in a huff, turning beet red in the process.

"Hey, don't blame us, we're just the messengers. Besides, this Bowser fellow told us directly that he's gotten smart over the numerous game installments and wanted you to suffer for thwarting his plans for all these years," Meowth tells Mario.

"Yeah, in fact, I think I saw a Princess in his castle while we were there, coming out of his bedroom with a satisfied look on her face…" James recalls out loud.

"…Wait, so you guys are in-a cahoots with Bowser then?" Mario says angrily as he began to advance upon the trio.

"Whoa, whoa! Back off, chubby! We got a job to do, so just give us our cash and we'll be on our way!" James says to him.

The trio continues to back away from Mario as the plumber just loses it, ranting and raving about how he was tired of this charade all these decades. Eventually, Mario stops getting into their faces as he stood next to a golden key stuck off in stone.

"Huh? Why did he stop?" James asks.

The trio looks around them, realizing that they were over a suspension bridge with a pool of boiling lava bubbling below them.

Mario, who now had a rather sinister look on his face, yanks the key out from the ground.

"WAAAAAAHHHHH!" the trio yells in unison as they plunge into the boiling hot lava with a splash.

Mario tosses away the key and storms off, muttering "Screw-a this, Luigi can save that dumb-a broad if he wants, I'm going back to being a plumber in Brooklyn…"


Ahem...Haaaaaaad a feeling this would happen to Mario eventually. Talk about bad reaction to a change in protocol…
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