A/N:

Bwahahaha. Guess what?

I did… nothing today.

I don't own the stupid song that's used here. "Dirty Little Secret".

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Guess what?

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I did… your Mum.

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"Yuki, I know for a fact that you didn't do my Mum. She died"

"Oh, be quiet Kyo, you sap!"

"I'm Tohru. Why do you keep mistaking me for men?"

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That's it. Go cry on your Mumma's grave, ya pussy.

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Just like… when Kyo did the crappy, over dramatic, true form thing.

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"Your right for once, ya damn rat"

"Really?"

"Yep. They make it sound so much worse than it is. Stupid effing animators"

"Wanna go curse the FUNimation Studio's?"

"Fuck yesh"

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We cursed them.

We cursed them bad.

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Akito would be proud.

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"Huh?"

"I said you would be proud"

"Oh, I am. Now I will pleasure you with a fivesome. Me, you, Hatori, Kyo and Shigure"

"Yay!"

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Best day of my life. I swear, I've never had so much sweat drip off me in less that half an hour before. Ever. In my life.

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"You are a sex God, Yuki!"

"…Be quiet, Momiji"

"Yes, master"

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I am Momiji's master.

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Haru sucked my balls.

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"I told you not to tell anyone about that"

"I never keep secrets"

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Let me know when I've done wrong,

When I've known this all along.

I go around a time or too,

Just to waste my time with you.

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Yes, you.

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"Me?"

"YES HATORI!"

"…Ok, thanks"

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Kyo's my dirty little secret.

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"…Excuse me?"

"What are you, deaf? You're my secret. My dirty one. About what we did last night, in Tohru's closet. Remember?"

"…Ya, now shutup!"

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He's so sexy when he's mad.

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"I HEARD THAT!"

"Stop listening"

"Yes, master"

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

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My balls. That's how much.

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Harder Kyo, harder!

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"WTF! STOP BEING FOUL, YA DAMN RAT!"

"C'mon Kyo… I know you want it"

"O.O"

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That's it. You stare.

You stare like Bill Clinton is stripping for you.

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I'm so… sexy.

To sexy for my shirt.

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"That's not true. I've never seen you without a shirt, unless you've just transformed back. Unlike me, who prefers to walk around with no shirt on"

"Kyo. No one wants to be like you"

"I DO!"

"Shutup, Dukoro-chan"

"…Sorry"

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Damn interrupting fic writer. Always has to add herself in her damn stories. It's about me, dammit!

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I like chatspeak.

Bend it like Sohma.

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"1 Lyk3 2 fck thru"

"Bad Yuki! You don't like to fuck Tohru! You like to fuck me!"

"Shutup, Haru"

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It's gonna be a long, long… bubblegum filled week…

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A/N:

SURPRISE!

Review, or death will knock on yee door.

Kidding, obviously.