Same Disclaimer.

The Slightest Things

"Sometimes the slightest things change the direction of our lives, the merest breathe of a circumstance, a random movement that connects, like a meteorite striking the earth. Lives have swiveled and changed direction on the strength of a chance remark" The Power of One

Chapter 7

As I'm sitting across from her, I think about Buffy, I've been thinking a lot about Buffy lately, not only because she looks like Buffy. But I've been having these nightmares; Angel said they may never stop. And that's ok, because I deserve them. I see them like movies playing in my mind, I'm always standing over the people I've killed then I look up and see Buffy standing there. She doesn't say anything.

"Did you always know you were gonna be shrink?"

"No" she replies "When I was little I wanted to be an Astronaut"

I raise my eyebrows at her and smile. "Really"

"Yeah, there was just something, about being able to go up into sky and see something else. There as to be more out there, then just us" she smiles

"I never thought about what I wanted to be when I grew up" I say "I didn't think I'd be alive"

She leans back in her chair as if I was going to say more. But that's all I wanted to say.

I could tell her there is more out there then just us and she doesn't have to go into space to see them. I never told anyone I was the Slayer. When I got to Sunnydale everyone already knew. Buffy told her family, her friends. Maybe that's what kept her sane. She wasn't alone.

"There was nothing you wanted to be, when you grew up?"

"no" I say "I didn't think I'd have a future…and look I was right" I cover my mouth with my hand and laugh.

She looks at me intently with her bright blue eyes underneath her glasses. She uncrosses and crosses her legs. She leans in slightly which makes me lean back and tilts her head. "You said last session that you were supposed to be someone"

"Yeah and I screwed that up…like I do everything"

"According to the police reports you turned yourself in"

"I did"

"Why"

"Because…" I think back to that night, after those men tried to kill me, after Buffy save my life. I jumped off the roof and ran. I was running through a deserted alleyway hearing the police sirens blaring behind me. I kept thinking about things and then I just stopped.

"…I was tired…I was tired of everything" I say looking up at her. "I thought it would be better for her this way"

"For who?"

"Just a girl, whose time was need elsewhere"

She stops writing and looks at me. I could see her tying to figure that out in her head. She looks at me differently then she did in our first session months ago. She didn't believe those stories about me and now she doesn't know. She wants to know my story.

Tbc….