Chapter 7- Emotional Wounds
A soft sob could be heard from a green valley as the sun set, casting shadows over the place, and bouncing off of the crimson waves of hair that were clearly visible against the green grass of the place. The young woman let out another sob, nearly hidden by the stone wall that she was leaning against. The overgrown grass brushed against her legs, which were half covered by a soft black skirt that fell to her knees. She had been here for the past two hours or so, trying to sort out her thoughts, crying on and off.
She had come here often over the past five years, because this was where they had shared their last happy moment, before the Aurors had come and ushered them away. Ginny Weasley was glad the rain had stopped as she pulled her knees up to her chest, burying her face in them. She heard the crack, but didn't move. She could sense him, and she knew who it was.
The sounds of his footsteps paused, most likely he had seen her, and was trying to decide what to do.
"Run Harry. You filthy, disgusting coward."
He said nothing, and continued towards her, sitting next to her against the wall, but not too close to her, because he could see her wand in her pocket and remembered her extraordinary talents when it came to hexing people.
"No. I really need to talk to you."
Ginny bit her lip, not looking at him.
"What is there to say? You don't love me."
He sighed.
"I never said that."
She looked at him, eyes flashing dangerously again.
"Exactly. You didn't say anything, and that was enough."
He wasn't sure what to say to that, the only thing that could fix it would be the truth, and he wasn't ready to tell her the truth yet.
"What are you doing here?"
Ginny sighed, looking to her knees again.
"I've come here a lot over the past five years. It's a good place to forget the memories, and it's peaceful. No one would ever guess that there was once a major battle here… that battle changed our lives Harry... that battle changed you."
He nodded.
"I know it did…You know what? I've never come here before, the memories are too much for me to handle."
She looked back to him.
"Why is it so hard for you? I understand that you've lost a lot of people in your lifetime, and that Ron and Hermione were your best friends, but what does that have to do with you leaving. What did that have to do with us?"
She was desperate for answers, desperate for understanding.
"It's my fault they died Ginny… I shouldn't have allowed them to come… it was my fault, and the spell that killed Malfoy… it was aimed at you. You could have died Ginny, and it would have been my fault…"
Ginny sighed as he trailed off.
"But I didn't die. Everything happens for a reason Harry. If I was meant to die, I would have died, but I didn't. I'm still here, and all I want is for us to be together."
He looked at her, absorbing her words as he reached out a trembling hand to cup her face. She pressed her cheek into it, closing her eyes and letting out a soft sigh.
"I just… I can't Ginny. It's too-"
But he was cut off.
"It's too what? Surely you don't think it's too dangerous?"
He watched as her eyes opened, searching his face for answers.
"Yes Ginny. I do think it's too dangerous."
He was taken by surprise when she stood up. Immediately that familiar feeling of emptiness hit him at the abrupt loss of her touch.
"Why is it dangerous? He's gone Harry. You killed him. He's gone and his supporters are either captured or inactive. There is no danger!"
He stood up as well, watching her face. He could remember when those chocolate brown eyes burned with love, not anger.
"Exactly Ginny! An extreme act of evil, that's what killing is, and I did it! I don't deserve you anymore."
She stared at him for a minute, and then shook her head; issuing a bitter laugh and looking as though she would love to do nothing more than slap him.
"You had to Harry! You're the only person who could have done it! That doesn't make you like him! You killed him because you had to; otherwise you never would have been able to live! Do you remember what you told me the night before the battle?"
He sighed heavily.
"Of course I do."
This only seemed to make her angrier.
"If you remember than why can't you do this?"
He looked away from her.
"I'm not the man that you used to know Ginny. I'm not the same person who made that promise. I'm not…"
He trailed off, still avoiding her gaze. He didn't see her chin tremble, he didn't see the single pearly white teardrop make its way down her cheek, but he did hear her as she spoke.
"You're not in love with me anymore."
He heard how soft her voice was, how weak she sounded, as though she was losing her will to keep going. He looked up at her, and the minute he saw her tears he moved towards her and pulled her into his arms. He was only mildly surprised when she didn't pull away.
"That's not true."
She drew in a shuddering breath.
"You say it's not true… if it's not true, why can't you say those three little words? If it's not true, why can't you tell me that you love me?"
He sighed, and then buried his face in her hair. The scent of roses was still there, but just barely, as though she didn't put as much effort into her appearance as she used to.
"Because I'm scared."
Ginny let out an exasperated sigh of annoyance, and Harry grinned, though she couldn't see it.
"The danger is gone! What are you so afraid of?"
She still hadn't pulled away from him.
"I'm afraid of myself. I /killed/ someone Ginny. I'm afraid of the memories, afraid of the past. I can't handle it all. I can't handle remembering Ron and Hermione, Sirius, Dumbledore…"
He tightened his hold on her, as though he was afraid she was going to pull away.
"I know that it hurts Harry. You've been wounded, both physically and emotionally. Your physical wounds healed, but it's the emotional ones that are dangerous. Emotional wounds are the hardest to heal, but we /can/ heal them. All it takes is some help on your part. Running, cutting yourself off from everybody else will do nothing but make it harder. Love can save you, love can heal you, but only if you let it."
Her words impacted him in a way he could not describe, and he couldn't think of anything to say a she lifted her head out of his hair, his eyes drawn magnetically to hers.
"Do you love me?"
He didn't answer at first, then…
"Yes, but that has nothing to do with here and now. I don't deserve you, and… it'll be better if I just leave."
To her horror, he pulled away, kissing her lightly.
"Harry… please. Please don't do this to me, don't do this to yourself…"
He looked at her sadly. Suddenly, he realized that their hands were connected, their fingers entwined, and he pulled his hand from hers.
"I'm sorry Gin, but I can't do this…"
She didn't even get to protest; he turned on the spot and vanished.
Ginny stood in a stunned silence for a moment, before she too turned and vanished.
'If that's the way he wants it, then fine. If he loves me, but won't act on that love, then he doesn't deserve me, and I will not wait for him anymore… it's time for me to move on.'
She let out a small sob as she collapsed onto her couch. She had finally accepted it. Their relationship had actually come to an end.
