A/N:

Decided to update Yuki. I seem to be having a Yuki fest, even though I loathe him so. Kyo is so much better.

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I bought a pair of fluffy slippers.

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They remind me of dead rabbits.

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And… Momiji…

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Made out with Haru yesterday, in the middle of class. The class was…

SEX ED.

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We were demonstrating the sentence,

"When two people are desperate and horny…"

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People stared.

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I laughed.

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My hips don't lie.

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"But your damn mouth does"

"Hush now Kyo. You love my mouth"

"My name is… AKITO. I am not that filthy monster thingy"

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That made me think.

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Is Kyo's true form really a 'monster'?

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Like one that lives under people's beds and in their closets?

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"No, you damn rat. I don't live under anyone's bed"

"Except Dukoro-chan's"

"Like, of course"

"…"

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I did a "Yuki's Top Ten Most Perverted Thoughts".

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10. Always imagining Kyo in the shower.
9. Always telling random people to go 'harder'.
8. Constantly thinking about sex.

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ALL DAY LONG I DREAM ABOUT SEX!

Love that song.

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7. Making out with people I shouldn't.
6. Raping Kisa.
5. Dreaming about fivesomes.
4. Wishing Kyo would do a strip show for me.
3. Having fivesomes.
2. Purposely doing things wrong so I can have Akito's 'punishments'.

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I'm not going to tell you number one.

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Because there isn't one.

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Hahaaha!

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"Yuki, stop feeling yourself while cooking dinner. Your cooking is bad enough. I don't want you masturbating in my miso"

"Sorry!"

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1. Masturbating so much

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I saw Kureno today. We felt each other up.

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"Harder, Kureno, harder!"

"I can't!"

"Why!"

"Because it's too hard!"

"Lets stop yelling!"

"Ok!"

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G'day mate. Watcha been doin'? Gotta snag for me Barbie?

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I am your Australian.

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I can speak Aussie.

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"Have an award!"

"I'd rather have you in bed"

"…"

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Poop.

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I said it here first, on Yuki's Mind Brand CNN Type News Show.

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"Next up tonight, we have SCARY footage of Kyo in the shower, moaning Yuki's name! What next in the odd world of ours, you ask? How about Shigure eating miso Yuki masturbated in? That's good! Also making headlines tonight is, Kisa's first time and how Ayame got a job in the porn industry, along with Momiji. Not only that, but we also have Haru and Rin's secret affair, Hatori's SON and Tohru's real GENDER! That's right folks! You heard it here first, on Yuki's Mind Brand CNN Type News Show!"

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"Are you gonna do actual reports on them, just to fill up the space of the page?"

"Yep"

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I rule. Here we go. Yuki's on TV now, baby!

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"Our first story tonight, Hatori's son. That's right, Hatori had a child with Kana, before her memory was erased. A reliable source says "Yes darling brother, it's true! He only found out last week! How shocking!". In reply, Kana says, "Hatori? Who's that?". We are still yet to know, what the boys name is. In other news, Tohru's real gender. People have been debating for years upon years weather Tohru was secretly a boy, due to the fact 'Tohru' is a boys name. Later investigations show this is unlikely, because when hugged, us Sohma's transform. Not only that, she has boobs. Also making news, Kisa's first time… showering! Yes that's right folks, after 12 years of not showering, Hiro has given Kisa a once in a life time experience to learn how to clean herself. Wonderful. Just heart warming. Not only that, but the excitement continues with Haru and Rin's secret affair! Ooh yes, very steamy. Apparently Haru isn't a virgin anymore, so sources say. Now we leave you tonight, with pictures from our files of Kyo in the shower and Shigure eating miso. Thanks for watching, Yuki's Mind Brand CNN Type News Show!"

A/N:

I'm Australian. Muahahaha.

Dance. Review. I can do it all.

I'm doing a series now, called that.

Yuki's Mind Brand CNN Type News Show.

Look out for it.