It's been a long journey since this fic has started many years ago, and we are finally hitting the half way mark. Let's celebrate the previous forty-nine chapters in an explosive scenario where no character from Pokémon is safe, in:
#50: Total Destruction by ? ! ? !
Warning: Excessive swearing in this chapter
Time had passed since Team Rocket saw the ad for a cooking competition in the city they were in. It was now well into the evening, and we find our three protagonists, wearing red and while chefs clothing, within a large studio warehouse lounge along with a few other familiar faces.
"So…what is Hell's Kitchen, anyways?" James inquires.
"Apparently its some sort of popular television series hosted by some famous British chef," Jessie replies.
"And why again did we apply to be contestants on this show?" Meowth questions.
"Because we are broke, lost, and need the cash to get back home, that's why," James responds.
"Oh well, at least we know how to cook if that's what we'll be asked to do," Meowth adds.
Just then, a familiar voice calls out to them from the other end of the lounge.
"Oh brother, are they the ones who we're competing against? What a joke!"
Team Rocket immediately turn around to see who was insulting them.
It was the opposing team in blue and while chefs clothing: Paul, Brock, Serena, Ash, and his Pikachu.
"WHAT?! YOU TWERPS ARE HERE?!" all three members of Team Rocket shout in unison, pointing an accusing finger at their rivals.
"Oh no, it's Team Rocket again! What are you scheming now?! Planning to steal my Pikachu yet again?!" Ash questions them.
"Scheming?! We're just trying to make a quick buck to get back home you little runt! Your Pikachu can wait for all we care!" Meowth shoots back angrily.
"Lies! You're surely going to sabotage this show and get away with it!" Brock adds to the accusations.
"As if! You had no idea what sort of crap you and everyone else in the universe have been giving us since day one of this mess of a story! This time we are going to succeed!" Jessie warns them.
"Tch, good luck with that! You won't succeed with only three teammates. You need minimum of five or else you'll be disqualified!" Paul reminds them.
"Oh crap that's right! The producer guy did say something about us needing a full team to get on tonight's taping of the show!" James recalls.
"Who are we going to find in such a short time then?" Jessie says.
As if on cue, two more persons step into the lounge.
It was Butch and Cassidy.
"YOU?!" both duos and trios shout as they approach one another.
"Oh great, now we have to work with these bootleg Team Rocket failures for once?!" James says to them in a condescending tone.
"Well isn't that the pot calling the kettle black!" Butch responds disapprovingly.
"I'll be sure to knock you across the head with one once we get into the kitchen, Buffy!" Jessie threatens Butch.
"It's BUTCH for gods sake! When will you get my name correct?!" Butch corrects her angrily.
As both the blue and red teams continue to argue with one another, one of the show's producer's steps into the room with an announcement.
"Alright everyone, the show is about to start, follow me to the stage," the producer says, herding everyone out the room and down a long hallway.
Once through a pair of double doors at the end of the hall, both teams were now on the set of Hell's Kitchen. Two large restaurant-sized kitchens sat next to one another, and in front was a very large and dark dining hall enough to sit a hundred people.
"Oh wow…I didn't think we'd be serving food to so many people!" James says with a nervous gulp.
"Oh my goodness…this will be intense…" Serena adds, as she and her team were a bit intimidated as well.
Afterwards, the host of the show steps out approaches both teams.
"Good evening teams. Tonight is a very important night. As we film this episode of Hell's Kitchen, it will be your job to cook up an amazing dinner for our guests," The Chef says to them.
"Who are we serving, exactly?" Cassidy asks.
"You'll find out right now," The Chef responds, as the dining room lights turn on, revealing the audience to both teams.
Seated in the audience were nearly every single person that Team Rocket and Ash's friends have encountered through the entire story up to this point: Officer Jenny, Nurse Joy, Snorlax, Giovanni and his Persian, Edward and Alphonse Elric, Wobbuffet, Lucario, Norris, a horde of Pikachu and Twilight Fangirls, Barney The Purple Dinosaur, Batman, Master Chief, Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck, Elmer Fudd, Severus Snape, Astley, Darth Vader, Sonic The Hedgehog, Megatron, Mario, Link, Hank Hill, Itachi, James Bond, Shao Kahn, Amuro Ray, Kylo Ren, Himura Kenshin, the Ninjago Ninjas, and Captain Falcon to name a few.
"Wow…that's quite a lot of pressure being put on us…" Ash says with a gulp.
"….And suddenly I do not want to be here anymore…" Meowth says with a horrified look.
"Pika?!" responds Pikachu, shocked as well at the wide range of people who they have to serve tonight.
"Okay teams, get into your kitchens, we will start in one minute. If any of you repeatedly fuck up any of tonight's orders and embarrass me on national TV, I'll fire all of you on the spot. Understood?" The Chef warns everyone.
"Yes chef!" both teams respond in unison.
It was now time to start Hell's Kitchen.
Narrator: Welcome to Hell's Kitchen! Tonight, two teams will be competing for the grand prize of $1,000,000! They will each have to cook a delicious meal to our special audience consisting of guests from the 100 Ways To Destroy Team Rocket Fanfic! To win, they must make it through tonight's service or face the wrath of their boss "The Chef". Tonight's menu is an 'All American' cuisine. Here are the positions on each team:
Red Team
James: Burgers
Jessie: French Fries
Meowth: Macaroni Salad
Cassidy: Apple Pie
Bowie…er, sorry, Butch: Iced Tea
Blue Team
Ash: Burgers
Brock: French Fries
Paul: Macaroni Salad
Serena: Apple Pie
Pikachu: Iced Tea
Narrator: Now with both teams now in their positions, the first set of orders from the audience are now starting to pour in. The Chef stands at the center of each kitchen and reads off the orders.
"Red Team: 20 medium-rare burgers, 18 orders of French fries, 22 orders of macaroni salad, and pies and drinks for all! Blue Team: 26 well-done burgers, 14 orders of French fries, 20 orders of macaroni salad, and pies and drinks for all Understood?" The Chef says to both teams.
"Yes chef!" both teams respond.
Red Team's Kitchen
All of Team Rocket began frantically preparing their individual dishes.
"There's not enough space to grill these burgers to order!" James proclaims, trying to find space to fit all the burgers on.
"Throw some in the oven!" Butch responds as he began mixing up the iced tea.
"No don't do that! Where am I going to bake all of my pies in?!" Cassidy argues.
"Well you're not going to use my deep fryers for anything so you can forget it!" Jessie adds.
"Thank goodness mine doesn't involve any ovens or grills," Meowth says, dumping all of the uncooked pasta into a large boiling pot of water.
Narrator: As time goes on, The Chef is getting impatient as nothing was coming out of the kitchen.
"Red Team what's taking so long?!" The Chef calls out to them.
"Coming forth with the first set of burgers!" James says, approaching the front of the kitchen with what looked to be a bunch of beautifully crafted burgers complete with buns, condiments, and toppings.
The Chef starts checking all the burgers, and finds something that makes him angry.
"Hey James, come here!" The Chef yells out, taking the set of burgers back over to the kitchen. "These burgers are FUCKING RAW! They are supposed to be medium rare. GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR ASS AND FIX IT!"
"Damnit, I thought they were done enough!" James groans, taking the burgers back to finish cooking them.
Narrator: As James fixes the raw burgers, Jessie and Meowth finish their potions of fries and macaroni salad.
"Fries and macaroni salad on their way up!" both Jessie and Meowth say as they cart their potions up to the front for inspection.
The Chef looks at the food carefully and tastes each of them. He then takes both dishes back to the kitchen.
"Fries are delicious, good job, Jessie, however, we can't serve them because the macaroni salad has NO FUCKING SEASONING! IT TASTES LIKE CREAM OF SHIT! GET YOUR ACT TOGETHER YOU DONKEY," The Chef shouts.
"Really Meowth?! Did you even taste it before you served it!" Jessie growls at her team mate.
"Hey, you try making this over your easy-peasy fries!" Meowth argues back.
Narrator: As the Red Team struggles to get their main dishes out, the Blue Team is getting out their food without issue.
Blue Team's Kitchen
As most of the meals have been served to the audience from their kitchen, the Blue Team was preparing to serve dessert.
"Haha, we're going to win this competition with ease!" Paul says to his teammates. "Serena, how goes the pies?"
"Pies are coming out the oven right now!" Serena responds, pulling them out and carting them to the front for inspecting.
"Oh fuck me…," The Chef says as he looks at the apple pies and cuts into a few of them. He then dejectedly takes them all back to the Blue Kitchen.
"All of you, COME HERE!" The Chef shouts to the Blue Team, as they all rush forward. "Who made these pies?!" he demands.
"I did, chef," Serena responds with unease.
"Look at these! They're BURNT ON THE OUTSIDE AND UNCOOKED ON THE INSIDE! HOW THE FUCK DID YOU MANAGE THAT?!" The Chef demands.
"I don't know sir!" Serena responds nervously.
"You guys were doing so well, DON'T FUCK IT UP AGAIN!" The Chef tells her.
"Yes chef!" Serena responds, frantically getting more pies in the oven.
Narrator: As the pies were being corrected, the guests in the audience were starting to request refills of iced tea. Pikachu began mixing up a new batch to be served.
Pikachu brings several pitchers of iced tea to the front of the kitchen for inspection. The Chef pours himself a glass and tastes it before spitting it out and bringing a single pitcher back with him to their Blue Kitchen.
"Everyone STOP! Who made the iced tea?!" The Chef demands.
"Pika…" Pikachu responds.
"Taste this, ALL OF YOU!" The Chef yells, making everyone come forth and have sip of the tea. "There's TOO MUCH FUCKING SUGAR IN THIS! ARE YOU TRYING TO GIVE OUR GUESTS DIABETES?!"
Fed up with both teams messing up their orders, The Chef returns to the center of both kitchens.
"BOTH TEAMS! WE ARE DONE! ALL YOU….FUCK OFF…GET OUT!" The Chef yells, effectively shutting down the dinner service for the night, with neither team succeeding in their goals to finish their orders.
"WHAT?! BULLSHIT, NOT ALL OF US WERE SCREWING UP!" Butch yells out in protest.
"WHERE WAS THE COMMUNICATION?! THERE WAS NONE, NOW GET OUT!" The Chef fires back.
Back at the lounge, both teams were understandably angry that they lost out on the competition.
"We started out strong and then we crashed and burned at the end, how embarrassing!" Paul says in a huff.
"Hey, at least we tried our best," Ash says to him.
"If anything, Team Rocket should have lost, they couldn't get any food out at the start to save their lives," Brock comments.
"I heard that, you little punk!" James calls out.
"Well now you know what it's like to lose for once in this fic!" Meowth tells them.
"For once I agree with you idiots," Cassdiy says to her fellow Team Rocket members with a chuckle.
"Now what do we do now that we all lost out on the cash prize?" Butch inquires.
"I don't know, but at this rate we'll never afford to get back home," James says, sighing.
After a brief moment of silence, Ash speaks out.
"I have an idea," Ash says, standing up from his seat.
"What? What are you scheming now, twerp?" Jessie asks Ash.
"To be honest, the only reason we entered this competition as well is that we kind of ran out of cash too traveling around the world and hiring all those people to take you out along the way," Ash explains. "So, what do you say we all combined our talents and work together to get home?"
All of Team Rocket look at one another in surprise at the revelation.
"Are you serious?! We've been trying to capture your Pikachu this whole story and in turn you've attacked us repeatedly among other things, and you are offering a truce now?!" Meowth questions them.
"Yeah, I'm not too sure about that idea either, Ash. What good would it be working with Team Rocket? They're nothing but bad luck," Paul chimes in.
"Trust me on this one, everyone. Once we figure things out, then we can get back to where we belong, and then we all can go back doing our own thing. So come on, let's join together and take things in a new direction," Ash continues.
Everyone in the room was silent for a while, until Jessie stands to her feet.
"I'm in," she responds with a nod.
"So am I," Meowth says.
"We got nothing to do. As long as this unification gives us more screen time, we're in as well," Cassidy responds, with Butch nodding in agreement.
"I hope you know what you're doing, Ash," Brock says, with Paul crossing his arms in apprehension still.
"Pika!" Pikachu responds, trusting Ash's idea.
Everyone in the room was in agreement.
It was the start of a new temporary alliance between ally and enemy.
However, not everyone was pleased with this new joint coalition.
In the shadows, everyone was being watched by a mysterious force.
And this mysterious force were livid. They vowed to ensure this alliance will not last.
Congratulations, you made it to the fifty-chapter mark! Where will the series go from this point forward? Stay tuned and find out in a completely new saga to come!
