Disclaimer: As always I own nothing but the original characters and the situations the characters find themselves in. Thanks so much for continuing to read and for giving me feedback on my work. It's muchly appreciated and I do read every review you send me!
Note: Serious sorry for the lack of updates on all my fics the last two months. Work was basically a bunch of Dementors, sucking out my soul constantly. I was not, therefore, in the right mind to write anything that wasn't dark and depressing as fuck. So I didn't write period. I'm hoping to do better in the months ahead. Wish me luck, seriously.
Fae My Life, Seriously
His mother was going to pay for this. Harry didn't know exactly how, when, or how much of his soul he might have to sell to a demon from Hell to make that happen, but she would pay for this. Oh, yes. There would be payment, and it would be dear. But first he was going to have to pay, and pay dearly as Harry found himself doing the worst possible thing that he could possible do in this situation, which was to babble like an idiot without taking a moment to try and organize his thoughts enough not to make this situation worse. Somehow. If that was possible.
"I didn't mean-I'm so sorry, Eggsy. It's not what you think-or it is, but not in the...Bugger! Mother. This was all her-she was making comments about us getting married last night and I told her we weren't. Yet. I was very clear on that, and I told her not to bring it up with you or tease us about it-though of course she ignored me." Harry muttered a few curses under his breath to express his opinion on that before realizing how his words might be interpreted. "Not that I don't want to marry you someday, if that suits us and our relationship progresses to the point where-shite! It's just that-Fuck." Come on brain, Harry told it frantically. Start working! "I told my mother not to bring up the topic of possible marriage until you and I had been seeing each other long enough that that wouldn't be out of line. If you were to indicate that that was something you would-not to pressure you into anything! I realize that our situation is highly irregular and fraught and that you might feel that you-"
Harry groaned, wincing at himself. "Damn. I don't suppose you'd let me try that again?"
"Go for it."
Blinking in surprise at the...amused tone of Eggsy's words, Harry really looked at the other man, Eggsy's lips visibly twitching as the other man tried to keep a straight face.
"Think that was funny, do you?"
"You weren't hearin it from my end, Harry."
"And if I had been?"
A bitten off snicker was Eggsy's reply. "I ain't never heard ya babble like that afore. It was pretty cute."
Mortified, Harry could feel his cheeks heating up ridiculously. "And I suppose you could have done better."
More snickering. "Ya could have just said it was your mum being a matchmaker, and not to worry bout it."
Damn. That would have been the more logical, less traumatizing response, for sure. A pity he hadn't thought of it in the heat of the moment. But since he hadn't-well turnabout was fair game.
Or was it? Did he dare tease Eggsy about the possibility of them getting married? Wasn't there an alarmingly high chance that that would come back to bite him in the arse? What if Eggsy said yes to the idea that they might marry in the future? What if he said no? And how long were two people supposed to date before marriage was a reasonable topic to introduce into conversation? Did he want to propose marriage? Wasn't it too soon? Shouldn't they get to know each other better and better establish their feelings for one another. Come to a mutual decision about how they wished to proceed in the future? He loved Eggsy, yes, but was he in love with Eggsy? It certainly felt like they were headed that way from his side of things, but what of Eggsy's? Was he going too fast? Too slow? Why the hell couldn't his mother have left things well enough alone so that he could have had this panic at a later date, preferably when Eggsy wasn't around to see it!
Warm hands on his cheeks, familiar, callused fingers stroking over the skin to soothe. Harry looked into Eggsy's eyes and finally remembered to breathe, which was good, as the sudden air in his lungs felt bloody good. How long had he been-
"There, now. In and out. No need to panic."
Placing his hands over Eggsy's Harry finally had enough oxygen flowing to his brain to say something right.
"I'd be lost without you."
A pleased smile lit up Eggsy's face. "You was doin all right before."
Harry didn't even have to think about that one. "I wasn't. Not really. I had no idea, how much I was missing. Before you."
Eggsy had to clear his throat a bit, shuffle his feet before stating that it was a good thing then, that Harry had him now.
"On so many levels." Lowering his head Harry pressed his lips against Eggsy's forehead, drawing more comfort from the contact. "And I apologize for the babbling. And any offense I might have caused. I didn't mean to."
"I know. If it makes ya feel better...I'm chuffed she thinks I'm good enough for you."
"Too good for me."
Flushing a little, Eggsy gave him a look that suggested fond exasperation. "Nah. You're biased."
"Absolutely." Harry stated, in total agreement. "I think you're wonderful, and will shoot anyone who suggests differently."
Eggsy shook his head, but went back to looking amused and happy.
Right. Enough mushy stuff. They were British, after all. Talking this much about their emotions was not good for them. Everything in moderation, as one of his nannies used to say. That he just didn't want to talk any more about the whole marriage thing until he'd done some research and asked some people about appropriate dating lengths and such. So Harry cast around for something to distract them with, his thoughts landing on the package that had started this whole mess. Which, after a quick scan of the immediate area, Harry spotted the offending item on a nearby table where Eggsy must have tossed it at some point. It was perilously close to tipping onto the floor.
"So what do you suppose she sent us?"
Turning to look in the direction of the package too, Eggsy shrugged. "I figured it was those movies she was talkin about. With the Temple kid."
"Most likely." Stepping away from Eggsy, however loathed he always was to do so, Harry walked over to open up the package to reveal the fact that yes, it was a DVD box containing all of Shirley Temple's childhood movies. Oh boy.
Harry wondered absently if the sigh he made in reaction to the reveal could be heard from outer space. "Well I know what I'll be watching for the next little while. And you too, I'm afraid. You probably know more about what's child friendly than I do."
Laughing, Eggsy nodded, then suggested they go and finish their breakfast.
"Good plan."
And so they headed back towards the dining room where an impatient Daisy waited for them, Harry's thoughts turning back to the questions his mother's little joke had put on his mind and that now refused to go away. Damn.
Eggsy didn't seem bothered by any of this. Or at least he'd gotten over his earlier embarrassment and bashfulness fairly quickly, as he was no longer blushing or avoiding eye contact. He didn't seem bothered at all now.
What did that mean?
That question, along with a few others that were equally frazzling, circled around and around in Harry's mind as they ate the rest of their breakfast, finished getting ready for the day, and Harry headed out to work.
Though the long, lingering kiss Eggsy gave him before he left did make Harry feel better.
)
Harry was still stewing over what his mother had done and the resulting panic a few hours later when his phone signaled an incoming call from his mother. A call Harry felt zero guilt declining. He did the same for the next two calls from her, and didn't bother to read the texts that followed the calls in rapid succession. Giving someone the silent treatment might be childish-but it was also bloody effective too. Extremely so, actually, when dealing with someone of his mother's personality type. So let her stew for a while, was Harry's thoughts on the matter, especially since he had more important things to think about than how else to go about expressing his displeasure with her prank.
After the fifth or so text Harry's secretary buzzed in to inform him that his mother was calling for him.
"Tell her that if she wanted me to speak with her, she should have learned by now not to use me for her own amusement. You should also feel free to hang up after that."
A telling pause, then a 'Yes, Sir' that likely meant she would be far more polite to his mother than Harry was giving her leave to be...but that was her choice.
Knowing his opponent well Harry didn't bother to immediately go back to work, opting instead to get up from his desk to get a bottle of water from his mini fridge. One needed to hydrate, after all, and sadly even the boss shouldn't get roaring drunk while at work. However tempting that was.
He'd just unscrewed the lid when there came a knock on his office door. His assistant.
Sighing, Harry called out for her to enter.
Stepping inside with an apologetic look, she quickly and efficently relayed the fact that she had given his mother the message as ordered...and his mother had responded by stating that she was calling because Harry was in trouble with members of the Fae, and needed to know about it.
"What line is she on?"
"Two, Sir."
"All right. Thank you."
Not only resigned, but absolutely prepared to hang up on his mother if she was blowing hot air up his trousers, which was likely the case, Harry went to pick up his work phone. There was, after all, the slight chance that he or a member of Kingsman had somehow angered the Fae, his mother learning about it through her gossip circles. She was well connected, his mother.
"Hello, Mother."
The sound of his mother screeching his full name was not what he wanted to hear.
"You have one minute to tell me why a member of the Fae would be angry with me or I hang up."
"I'm your mother and-"
"Thirty seconds. I'm in no mood to-"
She interrupted him this time. "Well maybe I shouldn't tell you about the trouble coming your way then, if this is how you're going to be just because of a small little joke that I'm sure Eggsy thought was-"
"Why is trouble coming my way? Last chance."
"The alarm system barrier you had put around your neighborhood, Harry. It attacked Shion!"
Confused, Harry stated that that made no sense.
"I was there, Harry! It threw him into oncoming traffic and through someone's windshield!"
"That's...how badly was he hurt? Has he had medical attention?" Because his mother did not do well in a crisis and Harry had no idea where exactly they were. Had other people been around to assist this Shion person? The barrier was rather large after all, to give him plenty of warning time.
Also...what the Hell?
The working had multiple purposes, yes, but primarily it was an early warning alert when certain individuals or potential threats were in his vicinity. When it came to the latter the barrier should have acted as that-a physical, impenetrable wall that was invisible to the naked eye. Attempts to bring the barrier down would, or at least should have resulted in a hard electrical shock, yes...but not enough to send a member of the Fae flying. Especially since they were always magically shielded against attack to begin with.
His mother continued to screech in his ear. "I don't know how he is-how would you be?"
"It does hurt like a bitch." Harry agreed absently, having caused himself all sorts of unique injuries in unusual situations over his decades as a Kingsman. "He is recieveing medical attention?"
"His brother appeared, teleported Shion off to somewhere in their lands, I assume, and now he's back wanting answers about what the bloody hell happened and I don't know! And in case you were wondering, having to wait for answers because my son won't answer his own mother's phone calls has not improved the situation!"
Ignoring her rant while trying to figure out what had happened, Harry had to admit he was stumped. And intrigued, because a barrier that would do that sort of damage to one's enemies could very much come in handy in the future."
"Harry? Are you there?"
"I'm here. The barrier shouldn't have reacted in that way. A mistake must have been made when your friend tried to dismantle it." And now he had the name of the person who kept fucking with his barrier/alarm system, which resulted in him having to pay for a better, more expensive one. A definite silverlining, that.
"Not according to Shion's brother. He says it must be your fault. Which, in case you're going senile as well as becoming more staid in your old age, Dear, is why he's out for your blood for injuring his little brother, remember?!"
"And how is it MY fault the man was tampering with my magical barrier, exactly?"
"This is the Fae we're talking about, Harry. Do you really think that's how Shion's family will see this?"
No. Getting a member of the Fae to admit that they were at fault or had made a mistake was like trying to keep Merlin away from Eggsy's cooking. It couldn't be done short of imprisonment or death.
Not bothering to hold back a sigh Harry asked which house Shion and his family belonged to.
No answer.
It took him saying his mother name three times before she finally answered. And it wasn't to answer his question, but to inform him that Shion's brother wanted to talk to him. Now.
Oh joy.
"I'll talk to him. What's his name?"
"Lantis. From the House of Tempest. Or maybe it's Fray. I'm so discombobulated I hardly know up from down. He went through a windshield, Harry. Right in front of me! I'm going to be traumatized. I'll need years of therapy, and the gods only know what sort of recovery time Shion will have. And disfiguring his very fine arse permenantly...that's a crime against my sex, really. And those men like you of course. I can't believe that-"
With long practice Harry went back to ignoring his mother rant, focusing instead on the very worrying fact that neither of the houses she'd mentioned were ones he wanted to be on bad terms with. Ever. Bloody HELL! The ramifications and-did she just say Eggsy's name?
"What about Eggsy?"
"I said, maybe we'll be all right after all. Eggsy's just arrived on the scene and Lantis is looking quite interested."
"What do you mean, he looks quite interested?"
"Well Eggsy isn't wearing a shirt, Dear. And may I say...very nice. VERY nice indeed."
"Why isn't he wearing a shirt?!"
"Well given how sweaty he looks, I''m going to guess he was out running. Or doing something else that is making him look very appetizing and-how do the young people say it these days? Fuckable? Lantis might be drooling a little. I'll get closer to check...and admire your excellent taste in men while I'm at it. He really is quite-"
"Mother!"
"There's no need to yell, Harry. My hearing is still quite excellent, thank you. Or it was."
Pushing back his seat Harry was out of it and no his way towards the door, phone in hand, as he started issuing orders. "Get the elf or whatever he is away from Eggsy! And tell Eggsy to get back behind the barrier where it's safe. Is the barrier still up?"
"He obviously wants to lick his way up Eggsy's ripped abs, Harry. Not harm him."
"There will be no licking!"
"Well I hope you do some licking or you're not going to-ugh. I do not want to think about that."
Later Harry would marvel at the fact that they'd finally found a line his mother wouldn't cross, but in the present he had more important things to ruminate on.
"No shit. Now you make sure that elf keeps his bloody hands and tongue off what's mine or I'll be declaring war of his whole bloody house AND blame you."
And so saying Harry hung up on his mother since he couldn't take his work phone with him, leaving it on his very started and confused assistant's desk on his way out while calling out to her over his shoulder that he'd be out for an unknown period of time, and that he could be reached on his cell.
That done Harry turned his attention to getting home as quicky as possible.
And if the pointy earred bastard had put so much as a finger on his Eggsy...well currently Harry planned to rip those ears off and stab this Lantis fellow to death with them.
So the elf better behave himself.
Or else...
