He kept returning to the amulet, kept lifting it from its velvet cushion and staring at its embossed surface. His mind could not be forced from thoughts of his happier days, especially not since his battle with the boy. His innocent, pure son reminded him so much of her. Both had and were growing up in troublesome times, yet they both kept their lives free of the mire. A very small part of him was pleased with the boy's resistance. Perhaps there was not so much of himself there as he thought. The boy took after her in spirit and character. He was fighting a losing battle with evil though, just as she did so many years before. His mind flickered back over a time in the past, when the galaxy's woes were just beginning…When there was no such thing as luck…
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
My eyes must have been the size of dinner plates when the Nubian ship lowered gracefully into Coruscant's atmosphere. As far as I could see, huge buildings poked their massive noses up all over the planet's surface, in every color, shape, and size. I grinned. They looked like the quills of a porcurat, an animal I once saw in a library book. Everywhere, going every direction, were the streams and rivers of traffic. Almost no car was the same as they dipped, dashed, roared, and whined thousands of feet above the surface. I had to force myself not to cry out when we slipped into a river of our own.
The ship's pilot, a kindly and patient man, turned and laughed at my expression. He'd seen the sight hundreds of times, but my first-time awe reopened his eyes to the splendor before him. The copilot also laughed, reached over and tousled my hair. I ducked and grinned at him.
"Coruscant," the pilot announced cheerfully. "The entire planet is one big city. Oh, there's Chancellor Valorum's shuttle." Because of my isolated background, the name was new to me. From the pilot's tone of voice, I gathered that he was a very significant man. Maybe he was like Jabba the Hutt. Did he rule Coruscant?
"And look over there. Senator Palpatine is waiting for us." Senator? Chancellor? Queen? Government was too complicated. I peered down at the platform that we now approached. A smaller shuttle was already parked beside it, and its passengers were slowly disembarking. Standing alone and already on the platform was a lone figure, dressed in expensive blacks and greens. Now that I thought about it, I had never seen so many well dressed people in one place.
Our ship settled majestically onto the platform, the engines slowly winding down. Both parties moved to greet one another. I walked meekly beside Jar Jar, just behind the long robes of the Jedi. Peculiar sights met my wondering eyes. Placing themselves at even intervals all around us, were tall silent men in blue uniforms. None of them spoke to us, but they stood there menacingly, long weapons hanging off their shoulders. I instinctively didn't trust them, although later I learned they were only the Chancellor's bodyguards. At the present, they were scary. Even though their eyes couldn't be seen behind the plumed helmets, I somehow knew they were watching us. Like hawks.
Qui-Gon and Obi-wan stopped so suddenly that I almost ran into their backs. I actually had to reach out and stop Jar Jar from doing so. The Chancellor and the Senator stood side by side. I couldn't tell them apart, not really. One was good and one was evil. And I was never able to tell the difference. The taller one inclined his head respectfully as the queen stepped into view, but remained silent. The shorter man smiled at the queen with an easy familiarity, like a father to his daughter.
"It is a great gift to see you alive, Your Majesty," he spoke silkily. "With the communications breakdown, we've been very concerned. I'm anxious to hear your report on the situation."
I moved up beside the queen to get a better look. Unlike my feelings for the guards, I immediately liked this man. His older face was very patient and grandfatherly. He appeared very trust-worthy. Qui-Gon guided me protectively over to stand in front of him, out of the way of the conversation. I glanced at Padme, standing just beyond the queen, and she smiled briefly.
"May I present, Supreme Chancellor Valorum," he stated solemnly. So then this must be Senator Palpatine from Naboo. He was from Padme's planet. No wonder he was nice.
Valorum stepped forward and bowed. He seemed too stiff and cold to be likable. In a voice devoid of emotion, he greeted us, "Welcome, Your Highness. It's an honor to finally meet you in person."
"Thank you, Supreme Chancellor," the queen replied in her stilted Nubian accent. She began to glide to the waiting shuttle. Palpatine and Valorum flanked her closely, while the rest of us followed.
"I must relay to you how distressed everyone is over the current situation. I've called for a special session of the Senate to hear your position," Valorum stopped again with the queen, tucked his hands behind his back.
"I'm grateful for your concern, Chancellor," she swiveled her head, the large black feathers on her headdress dancing. Then she turned and walked on, leaving Valorum to stare after her. Palpatine now had her complete attention.
"There is a question of procedure," he said pensively. "But I'm confident we can overcome it." And somehow, I felt absolutely certain that he could, and would.
ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
After several hours of fruitlessly wandering the apartment complex with the Gungan, I was found by Qui-Gon. He and Obi-wan had been to see the Jedi council, and the news was promising. At least, he said it was, but I could sense disappointment. The council had deigned to see me, that was all. They had not promised yes or no. Qui-Gon told me to be grateful for that. As a rule, Jedi were trained from a very young age. I was already considered too old. Too set in my ways. As it turned out, I had time to kill before my appointment with the masters, so I decided to go in search of Padme. I tiptoed through the lush red hallways and searched for Palpatine's apartment number. There it was-426. A Nubian guard stood just outside the door, a small blaster tucked under his arm. He smiled at me broadly and asked what I wanted.
"Hold on," he lifted his comlink and spoke into it. "Boy's here to see Padme."
The comlink crackled back, "Let him in." He gave me a short nod, opened the intimidating curved doors. They closed with a soft whoosh behind me as I stepped inside. I felt oddly out of place in such beautiful surroundings. A handmaiden approached. Padme?
"I'm sorry, Ani," she said. The voice was that of Jisiana, a different handmaiden, and certainly not Padme. "But Padme's not here right now." I dropped my head dejectedly, avoiding her sympathetic gaze. "I'm sorry," she offered in a tentative manner. Robes rustled in the next room over.
"Who is it?"
"Anakin Skywalker here to see Padme, Your Highness," Jisiana bowed reverently, and so did I.
"I've sent Padme on an errand," the queen came into view. She focused her royal gaze on my scruffy face, and suddenly I felt conspicuous.
"I'm on my way to the Jedi to start my training, I hope." Why did I hope so much lately? Why couldn't I just know for a change? Because the world is never certain, that's why. "I may never see her again, so I came to say goodbye." Boy, I was getting good at all this goodbye stuff, though I had no idea why I was telling the aloof queen about it.
"We will tell her for you," the queen never smiled. "We are sure her heart goes with you." Encouraging words to my ears. I hoped they were true. No, I knew they were true. I bowed once more.
"Thank you, Your Highness." The queen disappeared further into the apartment, very gracefully. Jisiana moved me to the door. Just before the door cut us off, she squeezed my shoulder and smiled.
"You'll see her again, Ani."
ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
I stood in the center of a tile circle surrounded by the Jedi masters. The sun was setting and its bright rays were staring me in the face. I wished they had blinds put up. Every set of eyes was boring into me, and I was becoming distinctly uncomfortable. A tall, brown, and bald Jedi sat right in front of me; he was testing my reflexes with a small pad in his hands. There was a wariness in his expression that even I couldn't miss.
"A ship." My young, high-pitched voice echoed coldly in the quiet room. Their eyes seemed to be probing me, dissecting me. I shifted my position as a new image came up. "A cup." I didn't see the point of this game yet. Something serious was happening though. Back to the original image. "A ship." Ooo, a new one. "A speeder."
He gave me a long look and deactivated the pad, sending a barely perceptible nod to the Jedi seated on his right. It was a little, wrinkly green thing, with a tiny body and a large head. His gnarled three right claws gripped a worn wooden cane. His huge green ears moved up and down. "Hmm," he rumbled deep in his throat, placing a finger to his mouth. "How feel you?"
His strangely worded question made me hesitate. I swallowed loudly and with difficulty. "Cold, sir." Stop staring at me like that! It's weird!
"Afraid, are you?" And stop talking like that too! I wanted to run, but I wouldn't let him frighten me.
"No sir." I was pleased at how confident I sounded. He seemed to look right past my strong façade, pointed a green claw at me.
"See through you, we can," He intoned gravely. The other Jedi all nodded. I wanted Mom to hide behind. They wouldn't be able to see through her.
"Be mindful of your feelings," the brown Jedi added, thoughtfully shaking his head.
"Your thoughts dwell on your mother," I jerked around to see another master joining the interrogation. He had an extra lump on his head as if he had two brains instead of one. Otherwise, he looked much like a bearded human. His voice was gentler than the others, and I softened towards him.
"I miss her," I told him with all honesty, noticed the green creature nodding along.
"Mmmm," he rumbled again, which got on my nerves so much. "Afraid to lose her, I think, mmm?"
I was starting to get irritated. My mother wasn't any of their business, nor the fact that I missed her. "What has that got to do with anything?"
His eyes widened at my evident stupidity. "Everything," he gasped. "Fear is the path to the dark side." At least he was speaking normally now. "Fear leads to anger; anger leads to hate; and hate leads to suffering." Everything led to the dark side, according to you. Cutting your fingernails might lead to the dark side. I stared at him defiantly, glanced at the brown Jedi. He too, did not seem pleased with what he saw. His scrutinizing gaze never turned away. I felt my own eyes narrowing.
The little creature sighed. "I sense much fear in you."
oooooooooooooooooooo
And was that such a bad thing? Fear sometimes led one to act when he might never have moved. Fear of evil had led the worlds to fight it, for a time, until the Jedi stopped fearing. They became overconfident and were blindsided. His master had feared the Jedi, thus wiping them out and securing his place as Emperor. There was such a thing as healthy fear. A fear for the things needed to be feared, not a foolish ignorance of them. The Jedi didn't fear the end; they felt it would never come. And yet, as he systematically ended them one by one with his lightsaber, he had finally sensed their fear, all-consuming fear, fear that came too late.
He stepped past the menacing red-robed guards of the Emperor. That was one thing he no longer needed to fear. They were weak compared to him. Most everyone in the galaxy was. The only man he feared now was his master. And that fear will someday drive me to act. He knew his master feared him as well, was waiting for the titan clash of wills. But Vader could wait; he had learned patience at last.
As he moved to talk with his master, he wouldn't admit that he feared one other. A mere boy, but the son of her. What he feared was the fact that he could see himself in Luke. Will that fear drive me to act, in a different way?
