I turned my head quickly and closed my eyes tight. A monster. What else was I? But even I was surprised that I left that mansion… It brought me nothing but pain. And I could not take it anymore… I wanted death but I was afraid of it. I wanted to end it but I wanted life.

No. I wanted love.

"Ah, fuck, Vinnie," said Cid, slowly dragging himself back into the bathroom. He didn't seem to be in any rush. He had a cigarette between his lips. I couldn't see if there was any blush on the man's face, but the way that he moved and spoke made it obvious that he was not giving a shit about you.

I don't want to hear it.

Cid came back out fully dressed. He leaned against a wall beside me and took a puff of his cigarette.

"I can't believe you're actually here, Vin!" he said, grinning widely. "I didn't expect you to come here… Man, you don't know how happy that makes me! Bein' with the same glum chum Cloud was not doin' me any good! MAN! Shit… I love the guy, but he needs ta' stop talkin' sometimes! Nag, nag, nag! But I woulda' smoked him so good today! I won the race! Too bad he wasn't there, though…" Cid sat down beside me and put an arm around my shoulder. I felt like I had a fever.

"Y-yes… Cloud told me to congratulate you… Congratulations, Highwind," I tried not to look at him. I hoped he wouldn't notice. My heart was pounding!

"Vince… You alright? You want to stay the night or somethin'?" Cid asked, patting my back gently. "You don't look too good… Sleep in my bed, I'll sleep on the couch," Cid stood up and pushed me onto my back even while I was shaking my head "no" to stop him. He would not hear of it.

"Vinnie, man, you're my bud! You look sick! You feel hot as a kettle! Keep your ass in bed. You got a fever or…somethin'. Here, I actually learned some stuff from Shera… I'll make ya some tea. Ya better like it, Vin, it's my first time cookin' for a guest!" He clapped his hands and grinned widely after tucking me into his bed. It was warm…felt like he had just been in the bed but a half hour ago…

Ah… It smells just like him… I thought to myself. Too bad…he isn't here with me… I shut my eyes tightly and rolled over on my side. I felt hideous. Like my body was about to burst. My head was pounding and I couldn't help but think someone was thrusting a brick into my forehead. My whole body ached. I began to shake… I had the chills or something… What was wrong…?

"Hey, Vi-… Fuck!" Cid almost dropped the tea in his hands as he rushed over to my side. I couldn't stop coughing. I began to gag…but nothing came out. My back wouldn't stop shaking and I couldn't even keep myself propped up on my elbows… Cid had set the tea on the nightstand and wrapped an arm around my back, rubbing it gently. He was saying things but I couldn't understand… I wouldn't stop shaking…

Shaking…

I woke up with Cid's head against my chest. He was half on the bed and half off. A hand was on my back and I could feel a damp cloth on my forehead. Some of the cloth had fallen onto the bed; a wet spot where the cloth was. It was cold, now. I looked around the room, my eyes squinting from the light coming from the window. Cid stirred a little in his sleep, but he did not wake. I couldn't understand what he was mumbling… "Vi… No…nnn… Take… Move your ha--… Yeah…mmm… Guh!" He shook again but did not wake. I didn't dare wake him, either…

I suddenly felt very cold. Like there was a draft… I lifted the covers some to see what the problem was… I almost yelped! I was completely naked! I blushed furiously. I didn't know what to think… But it made me smile anyway… Just a little!

I tried to squirm away from Cid's slight hold on me so I could get out of bed without his head hitting the floor. Somehow I accomplished this and, naked still, I rushed to get a robe on. There, thankfully, were two of them hanging on the door in the bathroom. I slipped one on and tied it tight. I also slipped on some slippers. The floor was all tile. I turned around to look at myself in the mirror. I didn't really like what I saw… I found myself lost and confused. I didn't now what Cid thought of me… All I knew, really, was that we were friends. That was it. But his actions made me think a little deeper…But that was what a caring friend did. He was nothing else. He certainly had no taste for monsters…

I stepped out of the bathroom and walked into the small kitchen. I began to cook breakfast. I felt bad that I had not tried to put Cid into bed but I did not want to wake him up…

As the fumes from the food began to rise and swing over to Cid, he certainly did stir enough to wake up. I could hear him groaning as he pushed himself up off the bed. From the corner of my eye I watched him wipe drool off of his chin. Such a heavy sleeper! I chuckled quietly to myself. But it obviously wasn't quiet enough…

"Did you just chuckle?" he asked me. I couldn't tell if he was mad or not…

"Um…yeah…I guess I did," I replied, watching the eggs sizzle for a small moment before I began to stir them again.

"…Vince… Laughing. That's new! Sounds like you're better, then!" he said gleefully. He walked over to the bathroom and stopped in the doorway. "Will the food be done before or after I take a quick shower?" I smiled at this and looked over to him, a straight face once more.

"Breakfast will be done within fifteen minutes," I said.

"Plenty enough time to wash up," he said.

It was strange. Cid used to hate showering every day. He would complain and only shower every other day. He never dressed nice, not that I mind. I liked the way he dressed. It was lovely, even if it was a little dirty. It was Cid…and that was all that mattered. I could hear the shower going and then the door shut.

Cid naked…

I quickly brushed the thought away and continued with breakfast.

I didn't even notice the shower stop and Cid walking out of the bathroom with just his pants on until I sat down with the table set. When I looked up he was looking rather ravenous. Like a starving beast.

"Great! Food!" He sat down with a small 'thump' of his bum hitting the seat and then he began to dig in without one word of gratitude. Well, not really. But, that was how Cid was and it did not bother me one bit.

After finishing breakfast, Cid sat back in his chair and put one hand over his belly.

"I'm stuffed!" he announced. I smiled happily and nodded my head.

"Did you like it?" I asked, already knowing the answer.

"Liked it! Vinnie, you're the best cook in the whole damn world!" he laughed and patted his belly. "Never been full like that in a damn long time…" he mused.

Cid put the dishes away for me even though I hadn't asked him… I said I was feeling better but he wouldn't have another word. I sighed in my defeat and sat down on the couch thinking. Just…deep in thought. I wondered what was going to happen to me...and even us… Although there was not an us to really think about. When Cid was finished he was wiping his hands on a hand towel as he stepped through the archway that led from the kitchen to the living room. This whole "hotel room" was a suite…

"You OK, Vin?" he asked, slinging the rag on his shoulder. I was hardly paying attention until he said my name again louder.

"Oh… Yeah, I'm good…"

"Now what the hell is wrong with ya? You're not good, you're terrible! Your face is fuckin' pale as a sheet!" he said, squatting in front of me.

"No, no, I feel perfectly fine, I promise" I said, lifting my hands to gesture that I really was alright. "I don't feel sick at all!"

"Well you might not feel sick but you sure do fuckin' look it," he said, standing up and then sitting down beside me. "You sure you're OK, Vinnie? I can give ya some meds…" he said. When I looked at him as he said that, he had the deepest look of concern I had ever seen in my life. I forced a smile, trying to fight back the tears.

Concerned…

"I should be okay, Cid… I think I just need some rest, really," I went to stand up. As I got to my feet Cid grabbed my wrist.

"You need anything… Holler, 'kay?" he said, his grip still tight around my wrist. I nodded and smiled again. He returned my smile and let go of my wrist slowly.

I walked into the bedroom and let out a long sigh as I sat down on the bed. I began to remove my clothes, my mind off in space. I had only been here…a day? Two days? I couldn't even remember. I didn't even know why I stopped there in the first place…

…Things were getting blurry too fast… "Too…fas—" And at that, I fell down in a heap of flesh onto the floor.

I supposed there had been a loud thud when I had hit the ground since I found myself at a mini-hospital inside the Golden Saucer. I didn't even know a theme park had a hospital… Cid was not in the room. I wondered where he was. I was squinting, the light stung my eyes… I could hardly see anything.

When I fully opened them, I noted a sharp sting in my arm.

An IV. Filling my veins with liquids. What kind of liquids? What was…in it?

Hojo, Vinnie-Pal. You're back in the lab and you aren't coming out alive this time! Shut up! Shut up! Hojo is dead! He is

"DEAD!" I was breathing frantically. My heart felt like it was going to burst out of my chest! One of the machines was beeping as fast as my heart beat. I didn't care to know the name of the machine. I only wanted someone to come save me…

Cid burst through the door, calling out my name. He sounded angry.

"Vincent!" he said. I figured out that he only ever said my whole name when he felt like I was in danger. He had his lips apart and his teeth clenched. His hands were balled into fists as he ran to my side but relaxed as I looked up at him and he leaned over the bed.

"Christ, Vinnie, you scared the livin' daylights outta me…" he said, closing his eyes. "You're gonna be able to go home today, though… You've been out for three days…" he explained.

"Three days!" I exclaimed. Three whole days! "I was sleeping that whole time…here? Where were you?" I asked, trying to sit up. He pushed me back down.

"Here. At your side. I'm your friend, where else would I be? Cloud would have been here, too, if he hadn't gone back to Midgar two days ago. He came by once but was made to leave early because it was too late… I don't know why they let me stay here… I guess because I brought you in…" he explained. "Man, I've never been…" He looked down at his feet for a quick moment and then looked back up at me, a smile creased on his face for a quick moment. "Anyway, that IV'll be outta ya' soon, Vin. So you don't gotta worry 'bout that. Good thing you fell on the floor or I wouldn'ta known you had passed out!" he said, laughing a little.

"Sorry to worry you, Cid…" I said, frowning. I looked away from him and stared at the sheets instead.

"Nonsense, Vince! I don't mind, really. I needed some excitement. Haven't had any in a long time…" He brought a hand up to his chin. He seemed to be stroking it as if he had a goatee. He shook his head and put his hand back down at his side. "Hey, tomorrow, if you're feelin' up to it, do you wanna get outta here? Hit the Villa? Cloud won't be using it and I think you could use some sun…." he laughed. I laughed, too. But I shook my head.

"Cid, I'm sorry, but I'm not going to feel up to traveling at all for at least a week…" I said. But that was kind of a lie. I would probably be fine tomorrow or even the day after. I was afraid to be alone with him at the Villa… I didn't want to do something I shouldn't.

Cid had been fine with my decision. We went back to his room and I slept. Again. But I did not get much rest. Mostly because of Chaos and his never-ending pursuits at angering me. I was "really getting tired of his shit", as Cid would say.

Cid managed to drag me out of the hotel. I was feeling somewhat better. I, to tell the truth, felt like a school girl. If I hadn't been able to keep myself together I would have been giggling like a school girl and we would have been holding hands.

I wish.

"Hey, Val, let's watch a play…" Val? So it's Val now, too? He's got so many names for me now I just… Fuck. They're cute.

"You?" I laughed, "A play?" Cid grabbed the collar of my shirt, pulling me inches away from his face. Oh, how I wanted to…! I felt so tormented! So close yet so far! Cid grinned at me and watched my eyes dance about his face.

"So what if I wanna watch a play? It's for you. You don't feel good, right? Don't fuckin' think I'm a pansy coz' I wanna do somethin' nice for ya'," he said, letting the collar of my shirt go. He grabbed my hand and pulled me off in the direction of the stage.

Deep in the back of my mind I wondered if gamblers were killing themselves because of Cait Sith's fortunes.

We sat down somewhat in the middle of the seats down in front of the stage. It was a good spot…because no one else was there but a few little kids in the front row and then teenagers way in back making out with their… Ahem… Cid tugged on my cape as the play continued. It was kind of…intriguing. This was the first play Cid had ever seen before when Cloud had brought him here when they were going to the chocobo races for the first real time…that wasn't trying to get them out of jail. I hadn't been there… Where had I been? Probably away in the hotel as usual… I felt like I was isolated but I had been the one who was isolating myself the whole time…

"Hey, Vinnie," Cid said, his hands in the pockets of his pants. He looked up to me and I could feel his blue eyes staring into my red ones… It almost felt comforting…

"Yes, Cid?" I looked down at him. He was a good ways shorter than me. I wondered how that messed up his ego. I tried not to laugh as I thought that.

"You know, I was real worried 'bout you when you were sick the other day…" he said, looking forward again. I raised an eye-brow and thought quickly.

"…Really? You were concerned…for me?" Cid looked offended as I said that.

"Fuck! I was concerned! I was worried as hell, Vinnie! You kept mumblin' names… Hojo, that Lucrecia chick…mine…" He put an arm up on the back of the bench. The place had updated their seats… His arm touched my back some. It gave me goosebumps.

"I was talking in my sleep?" I asked, my mouth almost agape.

"Hell yeah, you were creepin' me out… I thought you might have gone in a coma or somethin', I don't know nothin' 'bout that stuff!" He was staring down at his lap, his brow furrowed. I smiled gently. It felt good to be cared about.

"You really amaze me sometimes, Cid Highwind," I said, looking up at the moon. I couldn't see any stars… "Not such a romantic place, this park, if you can't see the stars, huh?" I asked without even really thinking of what I had said. Cid looked over at me and raised an eyebrow.

"Romantic…" he said, looking up at the sky with me. "I guess not," he said. My eyes went wide as he said 'romantic'. Had I really said that? I couldn't believe… Doesn't matter, he didn't think anything of it anyway.

The play continued on, music continuing to play. The play was drawing me in…but I was more interested in what Cid had to say. What he was looking like right at that moment… Ah, but of course. I had to keep my self control. Unfortunately there were no more words passed as the play continued and stayed that way until the play ended. My mouth was slightly open. I was amazed at this play. It was so deep and full of the pain I was feeling. A monster and a beautiful person. Life was beyond comprehensive when it all came down to it. Unbearable because you could not have whom you wanted… Ah, I sympathized with the play… I could hear sniffling beside me. I looked over to Cid and saw something…strange.

Cid Highwind was sitting with red eyes and a hardened look on his face. He was looking at the ground. He did not look at me when I looked at him. I half smiled and put an arm around his shoulders and shook him a little bit with reassurance.

"What's wrong, Cid?" I asked, frowning once more. Cid shook his head and quickly shook me off. He stood and rubbed his eyes. It seemed like he was transforming because as soon as his hand went back down to his side, he was grinning.

"Nothin', Vince. Let's go take a walk or somethin'?" He began to walk out into the aisle. He turned slowly as he stood there without me. "Don't say nothin' about this, 'kay? You didn't see anything…" He furrowed his brow once more and looked away from me. I nodded slowly at his request and felt somewhat bad for him. His pride dug him in deep it seemed… Maybe it was just my imagination but I highly doubted this. Was it really the play that made him so sensitive? I wondered.