This ----- means like a new turn or paragraph. It's not a POV change or anything.
LOTS of cussing in this chapter. Pretty angsty and maybe even depressing? Maybe I can make you guys cry. ;) Either that, or just really horny. xD Both. I don't know.
EITHER WAY...I wrote all this up in ONE DAY. -gasp- Actually, in just a few hours. o.o I was playing EQOA Frontiers on my PS2 and writing it at the same time while getting coaches. D It was awesome. And I am sooo very proud this chapter.
ALSO. THERE SEEMS TO BE A MESSED UP PROBLEM WITH FF. D: My grammar is perfectly OK on my laptop, but when I put it on here a lot of things are taken out (like the tabs and the -----) So I have to go back and fix it. I have some grammar problems like KNOW which is supposed to be KNEW. It's really stupid crap. D:
I don't know why it's so stupid. Anyway, please ignore the problems. :( AGH. Such a pain in the ass. Oh and equal signs don't come up for some stupid ass reason on here either. I hate it.
Hot lips caressing my own with a tender look upon his face.
This is what I wished to feel. But what a selfish thing for me to think.
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My eyes widened as Cid pulled me inside his bedroom. He slammed the door and locked it quicker than I could think. I felt like I had been left in a daze and so I felt somewhat woozy. I looked around his room to see that my clothes were still in his bag; I was wearing some of his clothes. A black sweater, a red scarf, jeans, and black boots. He was wearing his favorite outfit. But he had taken his jacket off most likely as soon as he had gotten into his bedroom earlier today.
He had a cigarette between his lips and he looked very angry. I could hear his breathing; hard and tense. I bet his heart was racing as if he had just ran twenty miles. The floor was littered with his things. Bottles, cigarette packs, clothes, towels he had probably stolen from the hotel, lotions…
Cid was cursing under his breath as he picked up some of his things from the floor. He threw them towards the closet and then lifted a hand to his head, closing his eyes. I had no idea what was bothering him. Rocket Town was his idea…so why was he so upset? I couldn't understand what was going on by just observing…
"She fucking told you, didn't she?" Cid said, abruptly. I was startled to hear him so angry and speak so quickly. His hand had fallen back down to his side as he stared at me with furious eyes. "That fucking bitch told you. As many times as we've gone through this, she tells YOU! Why the fuck would she do that! And let me guess, I'm fucking disgusting, right?" He pointed towards the door, his face more angry than it was in the beginning. "You gonna go and fuckin' tell everybody like she did! Go the fuck ahead!" My eyes were welling up. I couldn't tell if Cid's were, but I could hear his voice choking. He began to rub his forehead. He looked away from me, most likely in disgrace.
"I wouldn't fucking do that to you!" I screamed. I don't know why I screamed what I said. It surprised me just as much as it surprised Cid. Our eyes were both wide. I stepped back, my eyes squinting in mental pain and in agony that he was reacting this way. A hand was on the footboard of the bed and I kept it there, watching him slump onto the floor. "Why would I hurt someone I lo-…" I closed my eyes tightly as I coughed a few times. I haven't screamed in a long time; it had agitated my throat. I was glad I started coughing, too, or else I would have let out something that I did not think Cid needed right now.
"Hurt someone you what?" he asked, sitting against a wall. I could hear him sniffling. I was almost positive he was crying.
"Hurt someone I cared about so much… You're my best friend, Cid…" I replied. I began to cry. Tears first, and then I found myself sobbing. I couldn't tell him how I really felt. I didn't feel any better about the situation. I loved Cid Highwind. So did that make me gay? I suppose so, but I still felt like a disgrace. I felt wicked and evil. Disgusting and putrid. Knowing Cid was gay did not make me think it was OK for me to be. And having feelings for him made me think he would turn me away. It didn't even matter if we were both gay. I was still a fucking monster. A stupid, evil monster. No matter what Cid thought. He had seen me in my different forms, but he did not know how it haunts me...and I did not think that he would realize how bad it really was until it was too late. Everything had been happening so fast I was too overwhelmed to keep my cool. I had broken down… For god's sake, I was crying! Sobbing, even! I wondered what he thought of the broken Vincent.
I had lifted my hand from the footboard and held my head in my hands. I practically fell down onto my knees. It had been so long…since I last cried. And I felt like it would be a long time until I could stop.
I heard a slight shuffling where Cid had been sitting. He put his hands on my shoulders and was about to speak, but I grabbed the bottom of his shirt and tugged slightly, looking at him sadly. "There are so many things I want to say to you, but I can't," I sobbed, "Why the fuck would I think you were disgusting because of something so small? If anything I'm the disgusting one, Cid, me, not you, so why don't you stop thinking you're so disgusting and think of it as a better thing? Even if I wanted to hate you for it, I wouldn't, Cid…" Coherent words no longer came out of my mouth. I didn't even bother try and babble. I just kept crying, my head against his chest. I still had a ridiculously tight grip on his shirt that turned my knuckles white.
I could feel Cid's hand running through my hair as he, too, cried. His other hand was holding me tight. I couldn't help but wonder what he thought of everything I had said…
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I had fallen asleep. I guessed Cid had brought me onto the bed, because, well, there I was. On the bed. I was squinting at the sunlight that was pushing through the curtains on the window. I reached down to stroke myself a few times…and again. I was naked. I blushed a deep red and closed my eyes. Twice he had done this. And neither time did I mind. I half expected Cid to be in bed with me. I rolled over on my side and checked to see.
Empty.
I sighed quietly. I pushed myself up a little to observe the room for a moment. Also empty. I sighed once again and rolled over to the end of the bed so I could get dressed. I almost choked.
"Mornin', Sunshine," Cid said, smiling. He was wearing only chocobo printed boxers. "I fell outta bed…decided not to get back up. Don't worry, I didn't touch ya' in your sleep…" he said, pushing himself up in a sitting position. "You were talkin' in your sleep again. Got a little excited," he chuckled. "I'm sorry about last night… I completely over-reacted…" He sighed and looked down at the floor. He put a hand to his head and closed his eyes, shaking his head. "I apologized to Sierra last night… She hasn't done anything wrong… It's jus'… My pride, you know? I'm sorry I made such a scene…"
I smiled gently at his confession and apologies. "It's completely alright… I forgive you," I said. I sat up some and reached out to him. He took my hand and I helped him up.
…His boxers fell off… He hadn't been wearing them; they had just been put on top of him so I couldn't see… Oh…but I saw… The sheets and the thin blanket I was under quickly raised in between my legs. I watched as Cid looked over it briefly and made that cocky smile of his.
"Funny, Sierra told me last night that she thought you had somethin' for me..." he chuckled quietly. "Guess she was right."
I hadn't even the slightest bit of time to realize what was happening until it had already happened.
Cid Highwind was kissing me. I was so shocked my mouth had still been open. He quickly took advantage of it and stuffed his tongue into my mouth. His began to massage mine. I had never done this with Lucrecia. We had not even made love. And here…
My hand quickly came up to the back of Cid's head as I deepened the kiss myself. I was moaning and he liked it. My eyes were shut tight. Cid pushed me back onto the bed and, although I had not meant to, my legs had spread open to him. But the sheets were still covering my waist and down. I bucked my hips against his slightly. This feeling was so wonderful and good… I did not feel evil or vile at all.
Unfortunately, Cid broke our passionate kiss. He pushed himself up a little to look at me and smiled as he did. "You are the most beautiful thing I have ever seen, Vincent…" He wrapped his arms around me and hugged me tightly. I returned his hug.
I was still breathing heavily from our last actions… I was also confused. He did this but he did not say he loved me…but I did not say anything, either. And I would not…until the time was right. "If you have anything to say, Vince…you can say it now." But I shook my head.
"I don't think I should…" I said. I noticed him frown as I said this but I did not speak up. I was scared…
Cid got up and bent over to grab his clothes. I moaned quietly and grabbed my member. Such a nice body…and that fucking ass! Cid turned his head back to look at me and grinned, still bent over. But he didn't say anything. His devilish grin stayed and he continued to gather his clothes. I removed the sheets from my body and stretched a little. I didn't notice him with his eyes all over me until I opened my eyes again. His member was rock hard… I could hear him whimper.
"We are lustful creatures," Cid moaned, putting on his boxers. His member still poked out of the hole in them. Hard as a rock.
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We had gotten dressed and cleaned up. We were sitting at the kitchen table with Sierra. She seemed happier than ever… Our breakfast was delicious. We were still eating it when Sierra decided to start up a conversation.
"So when are you two getting married?" she giggled. I choked on my food a little and dropped my fork. Cid had a piece of bacon halfway in his mouth. She looked at us, smiling still, as if she hadn't said anything.
Hehehehehe. >D
Anyway, I couldn't get the star's or swiggly lines to come up as like a banner change so that's why I used numbers... D: Sorry.
