A/N:

End of the series is near!

THIS WHOLE CHAPTER IS ABOUT SEX AND OTHER PERVERTED THINGS. DON'T LIKE IT? DON'T READ IT!

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I first had sex when I was 8.

I was raped.

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"Who raped you?"

"Haru… you know…"

"No, I don't"

"Stupid cow… KYO!"

"…"

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Okay, so it wasn't really Kyo, it was Akito.

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During school this one time, we were in sex education.

They were talking about fore skins.

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"My foreskin is broken" (Me)

"No it's not!" (Kyo)

"Who broke it?" (Random)

"Don't be so ridiculous…" (Teacher)

"It is!" (Me)

"Y-Yuki…" (Tohru)

"TOHRU BROKE MY FORE SKIN WITH HER UGLY POWERS!" (Me)

"…" (Everyone)

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I'm sick.

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Sick minded, that is.

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I like to play video games where a naked person pops up at the end.

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"There's no such thing!"

"Young Ritsu, of course there is…"

"Can I have it?"

"…"

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I like watching crime shows too.

Dead… naked… raped… girls.

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"FREAK!"

"…Please, I didn't want your comments Kagura"

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It's sometimes hard to keep dry during class.

Everywhere I look, everyone is hot.

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Guys, girls, it's all the same.

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I always wet myself with joy.

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"Do not,"

"I do so, ask Tohru"

"(walks to Tohru)"

"My pants are often hot and sticky, aren't they?"

"Y-Yes… with white stuff…"

"See Momiji? I'm always right about MYSELF"

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I think I'm turning Japanese, I think I'm turning Japanese,

I REALLY THINK SO!

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"You are Japanese"

"…"

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Ya know, a little sex never hurt anyone.

Then again, a lot doesn't either.

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"What's your favourite thing about a girl?"

"…Hmm, I like most of things about a girl"

"I like… the sticky heat"

"…"

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I LIKE CHOCOLATE SPERM.

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"No such thing!"

"Well… not really. But I could always fuck you stupid and collect our cum in a bottle, then tip it in the chocolate Tohru's melting right now for the dessert tonight,"

"…"

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That showed him to be a dickhead towards ME.

ME!

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King of sex! ME!

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"Your not king of sex… I AM!"

"Akito, you're a chick. You can be queen. We shall fuck the sexy world"

"OKAY!"

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Ahh…

Just like giving a blowjob to a baby…

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"I believe that the term is 'candy to a baby', Yuki"

"BELIEVE WHAT YOU WANT HATORI! I DIDN'T STEAL THE COOKIES FROM THE COOKIE JAR!"

"…"

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That aint a stab at Michael, that's just a metaphor I'm just psycho…

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Yeah.

You know you want it.

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"Guess what Yuki? This afternoon, I got my first job in the porn industry! Are you proud?"

"YES MOMIJI I AM"

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I LIKE WRITING IN CAPTIALS.

IT MEANS I AM SHOUTING.

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"Please, stop"

"NO"

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Crap!

I'm in jail now.

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Scary.

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And… pervy.

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Then again, everything to me is pervy.

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DAMN!

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A/N:

That was a strange chapter.