Disclaimer: DOn't own nothin' 'cept the kids.

"Which way to the lady's room?" I asked Ranger a little while later.

"Down that hall, second door on the left," he said, nodding towards a hallway branching off from the living room.

"That toilet is broken," said James, "Use the one upstairs."

I went up the stairs andpeered around the corner. Four doors down one hall. Two down the other. I opened the first door. Closet. I opened the second door. It was a boy's room. I guessed it was James's from the Gameboy on the floor and the computer and the band posters on the wall.

"The bathroom is the last door," came a voice behind me.

I jumped about three feet in the air and whirled around. Jazz laughed at me. She was leaning against the doorjamb of her room, grinning at me.

"Uh…thanks," I said, feeling incredibly stupid. I did my business and started to go down the stairs.

"Hey wait! Come here." Said Jazz.

I followed her into her room. There was a nicely made bed on side, and a mattress on the floor on the other. The side with the bed was nice and neat and mostly pink and yellow. The other side was messy with papers everywhere, posters and drawings on the wall, CD littering the floor, and a guitar leaning against the wall.

"So," said Jazz, pulling up a stool, "what's going on with you and Uncle Ric? Mom said you were his girlfriend."

I sat down on another stool. "No. We just work together."

"Mmmmmhmmm…so are you a bounty hunter too?"

I didn't like the sound of that mmhmm. "Yeah. Except I suck at it."

Jazz laughed. "Oh yeah? Doesn't Ric show you the ropes?"

"Yeah but I still suck."

When I came back downstairs, Jazz in tow, Ranger was sitting on the floor, controller in hand, playing video games with James. Well this was interesting. Ranger playing video games? This goes into the Ranger-file.

"Shooting people in real life not enough for you?" I asked,floppingon the couch.

"I don't get to shoot aliens in real life." Said Ranger,blasting the shit out of an alien.

"OMYGOD Uncle Ric can I do your hair?" asked Jazz, sitting down behind Ranger.

"No." he said.

She started tugging on the leather band that kept his hair back. "Pleeeeeeease?"

"NO."

"I'll tell mom that you fell asleep on the job and Felix fell into the toilet."

"NO."

"Come on." She had his hair down and I really wanted to run my fingers through it. Shoulder length and dark and silky. I bet it smelled great.

"You do and I'll throw you out the second floorwindow," said Ranger. I didn't doubt he would, either.

"Stay here," said Jazz, getting up, "I'll go get some hair stuff."

I was trying really hard not to laugh. Ranger was still sitting on the floor shooting aliens.

"You look really sexy like that," I said to Ranger before the smart part of my brain could take over.

"EW GROSS," Said James, "WARN me before you start being all lovey dovey! JEEZ." Guess he was still in the girls-have-cotties stage.

Ranger turned and looked at me, eyes dilated black. "You're playing with fire, Babe."

"Could you please wait 'til I leave beforemaking sexual innuendos?" said James. That kid was too smart for his own good.

Jazz came back down the stairs carrying scrunchies, rubber bands, hair spray, a hair curler, mousse, chopsticks, bobby pins, and a bunch of hair clips.

"So," she said, pulled a chair up behind Ranger, "what would you like me to do to it?" She started pulling at his hair, parting it, trying new things.

"Nothing," said Ranger.

"Well too bad." She turned to me, "What do you think, Steph?"

"I think you should curl it." Ok, I know I'm cruel. And I know I was going to get it. But I had to enjoy this while I could.

"Hmmm…we'll do that last. Let's try pigtails."

She brushed Ranger's hair out and tugged it into two ponytails one on each side of his head. I laughed so hard a fell off the couch. She braided it, put it up in a bun with two chopsticks, clipped it back, parted it to the side, and was now doing French braids. Ranger didn't look like he was enjoying himself. He kept flicking his eyes over to me, shooting daggers. I just tried not to break ribs from laughing. I was really surprised he was putting up with all this. This was definitely not the Batman I knew.

"You know if you let me cut it I could give you a Mohawk," said Jazz, finishing up her French braiding.

"I think you're done now," said Ranger quietly. A normal person would obey. Jazz, I guessed, was not normal.

"No way. Not yet. I have to curl it first." Said Jazz.

Ranger was about to answer when the smoke alarm went off.

"SHIT!" we heard Erin yell.

Ranger was off the floor, striding towards the kitchen. I was following close behind. A piece of paper left on the stove had caught fire. Ranger reached into a cupboard under the sink, grabbed a fire extinguisher, and let loose. White foam sprayed everywhere, but mostly on the counter.

When the dust settled, Felix wandered in and looked at the white substance blanketing the kitchen.

"SNOW!" he yelled and before he could throw himself into the fluff, Ranger caught him.

"I WANT SNOW!" yelled Felix.

Ranger was glaring at Erin. "Oops," she said.

"SNOW! SNOW! SNOW!" Felix was crying at this point, reaching for the foam.

"Take him upstairs," Ranger said, handing Felix to Erin, who fled from the kitchen.

Jazz appeared in the kitchen. "This is what happened last time except we didn't have a fire extinguisher then so we just used oatmeal to put it out. So what do you want on your pizzas?"

By the time we got all the white stuff cleaned up the pizza arrived.

"Where's Erin?" I asked, sitting down at the kitchen table next to Ranger. Being the health freak that he is, Ranger was eating a salad.

"She's so embarrassed about almost burning down the house again so she's staying in her room tonight," said Jazz, biting into a piece of pizza.

"Ah."

"Whereda snow go?" asked Felix.

"It went to snow heaven," said James.

"It dyded?"

"Yeah it was murdered by the evil vacuum cleaner," said Jazz.

"Why?"

"Because the vacuum cleaner is a bully."

"Why?"

"Because he had a horrible childhood so he takes it out on other people, like the snow."

"Why?"

My eye started to twitch. Ranger looked at me and almost smiled.

I narrowed my eyes at him. "Stop laughing at me."

"Who's laughing?" he was definitely smiling now.

I stuck my tongue out at him. "Tell me stories about when you were a kid."

"I have one!" said Jazz. Ranger glared at her.

"This was when my mom was in junior high and Uncle Ric was in second grade. She and her friends were walking home from school one day all minding their business when suddenly Uncle Ric and Uncle Tom come running up in their underwear holding a bunch of flowers and give them to mom's friends and then just run off again."

I was grinning at Ranger, who was shooting death glares at Jazz. "Who's Uncle Tom?" I asked.

Ranger smiled. "Tank. We were neighbors."

"Mom said you were wearing Winnie-the-Pooh underpants and Tom was wearing Spider-Man underpants." Said James.

I was grinning again. "Winnie the Pooh?" I asked Ranger.

He shrugged. "It was the only clean pair I had left."

"One time Ric and Uncle Louis hid in mom and Aunt Marie's closet one night and waited until they were all settled and then started making zombie noises."

Ranger smiled.

"I tried to do that with Jazz and Erin but they caught me and locked me out of the house." Said James.

Jazz took a couple slices of pizza upstairs to Erin. We heard a shriek and Ranger was off his chair, running towards the stairs, tellingus to stay in the kitchen. There was a lot of yelling and shrieking and finally there was silence. I crept cautiously up the stairs and peered into Erin and Jazz's room.

Jazz was leaning against the wall, cracking up. Erin was standing hands on hips, glaring at Ranger who was hauling a kid up off the floor in cuffs.

"Erin what the fuck?" yelled the kid in cuffs. He looked 16, wearing homeboy jeans, a polo shirt and a jacket. He had sandy blond hair that was all mussed up probably from Ranger tackling him.

"What happened?" I asked.

"I came in here with Erin's pizza and caught those two love birds making out so I screamed 'cause it burnt my eyes." Said Jazz through gales of laughter.

"UGH I cannot believe you did that," yelled Erin, shooting death glares at Ranger.

Ranger uncuffed the kid but still held onto to him by the back of his jacket. "He needs to go home," he said shortly and marched the kid downstairs, Erin following.

Jazz was still against the wall. "God that was funny. Ric just ran in here and tackled his ass."

"That was Erin's boyfriend?" I asked, trying not to giggle.

"Apparently. I had no idea she had a boyfriend."

I looked at the clock on the wall over Jazz's mattress. It was eight. Celia wasn't going to be home until about midnight. Four more hours, Steph, just four more hours. Yeah right. Four hours was an eternity.

"What happened?" asked James from the doorway.

"Uncle Ric almost killed Erin's boyfriend." Said Jazz.

"Oh you mean the blond one? He's always here."

"Really?"

"Yeah when everyone 'cept me and Erin are here he comes over and they make out for hours on the couch. I thought you knew." James shrugged and wandered off.

Jazz was grinning. "Oh mom is going to be so mad when I tell her."

"You are NOT going to tell her," yelled Erin. She had stomped up the stairs, Ranger in tow.

"No, but I will," he said.

Erin scowled. "Everybody OUT!" she shoved us all out of the room and slammed the door.

Jazz was grinning again. "That was fun."