Disclaimer
I do not own Holes. Too bad for me, huh?
"This is such bullshit," Trixie said, itching at the pink argyle sweater she was given to wear. "I fucking hate pink!"
"Pink is a good color on you," Greg frowned. "On me, though, it looks pretty bad."
"It looks pretty fucking gay, that's what it looks like!" Trixie retorted.
"Yeah, I'd say that you are a winter," Giorgio quipped, leaning on the back of Greg's bus seat.
"What does that fucking mean?"
"You know, in the eighties, you were a season… you know…. Well, I guess I was the only one who had the season book when I was a kid or watched I Love the 80's a million times," Giorgio tore off the letterman's jacket next. "God, that thing is hot! How do people wear those things? Especially sweaty people like jocks!"
Juliana leaned up from Adrienne's shoulder, "I would laugh at your jokes, Giorgio, but I am too tired. These clothes are really comfortable though."
"I'm not so comfortable, actually," Adrienne said bitterly. "You see, the amount of fabric that is on my body right now, is enough to make a sweater for a Chihuahua. I'm not so comfortable, yeah."
"You can wear the jacket," Giorgio offered. Adrienne took it with a thankful smile and put it on over the tiny white bikini top she had on and the even tinier white miniskirt.
"This is so degrading," Adrienne said, slumping in the letterman's jacket.
"Tell me about it. Gina sent a hairstylist to do my hair in cornrows. Cornrows! I don't do my hair in cornrows!" Alice said, staring at the huge gold necklace she had on. "I look like a rapper."
"I found a used condom when I put on these pair of pants, Alice. I look like a junkie," Tap frowned, getting up from the floor having checked it for wires or bombs.
"Then Gina did a good job, didn't she?" Adrienne said, still bitter. "We all look like what we are supposed to look like. Did anyone look at what they had done to get here yet?"
"We weren't supposed to open them until we were within fifty miles," Greg said, leaning his head over his seat next to Giorgio's.
"We're within fifty miles of nothing, I don't think it matters."
"Well, let's open them then," Alice said, opening the envelope that Gina had given her and tossing everyone their smaller envelopes with their names printed on them.
Juliana's simply hit her in the face because she had not registered any of the conversations. She shook out of her daze and picked up the envelope, quietly being informed by Adrienne that it was what she did. She nodded as Trixie counted to three so that everyone could open theirs at the same time. Everyone ripped open their envelopes on three and stared at what they had done.
"I went into the women's bathroom at Saks Fifth Avenue, assaulted a lady to get her make-up, put it on and danced around singing, 'I Feel Pretty,'" Greg said, his voice with no emotion in it.
"I, while drunk of course, climbed up on the football goalpost naked, yelled that I was king of the world, and got arrested for indecent exposure because it was in the middle of a high school football game," Giorgio chuckled slightly. "Well, that's interesting."
"I was caught with a cocaine hat… I wore a hat in public that was made of cocaine? Oh my god!" Tap crumpled up her paper and threw it.
"I went on a rampage in school, attacking every girl in skirts and cutting up said skirts with scissors," Juliana read drowsily. "Wow, I would never do that."
"Well, I shot a guy, no, wait, I 'popped a cap in his ass', sorry," Alice said, incredibly pissed. "I must have read it wrong."
"I, oh see I, I ran into a parked car, a parked Lincoln to be in fact, and got arrested for vandalism because my thick head caused a dent in the shape of Abraham Lincoln's head," Trixie scrunched up her nose. "Well, I'm a fucking idiot. A total fucking idiot."
"I would rather not share mine, actually, because it is really, really stupid. She is just doing this to me because last week her coffee was a little tiny bit too hot," Adrienne crossed her arms over her chest.
"Come on, I danced around in women's makeup," Greg said.
"I fucked a guy in a no-fucking zone," she said quietly.
"What?" Juliana shot up.
"I fucked a guy in a no-fucking zone."
"That's not a crime," Alice said, raising her eyebrows.
"Apparently it is because I'm supposed to be there for 18 months," Adrienne gave a small smile.
"I'm there for three," Giorgio said, reading off his paper. "Must have been no one at the game."
"I don't care. I'm in a pink shirt in the middle of nowhere, and I have to tell people that that was my crime," Greg said, upset to the fullest degree.
"I FUCKED A GUY IN A NO-FUCKING ZONE!" Adrienne yelled, making the bus driver turn. "I wasn't talking to you!"
"I hate Gina," Alice grimaced, narrowing her eyes.
"I hate my life," Greg added.
"I hate the sunlight," Juliana groaned. "Are we slowing down or am I dying?"
Tap placed her ear on the bus floor, "We're slowing down all right. Will be stopping in one minute."
"Oh my god, that means we actually have to act like these personas she gave us!" Adrienne covered her mouth in horror as she looked out the window. "Where's the lake?"
Greg pulled out the gun he had been given, "I don't care, I'm ending this now!"
He placed it in his mouth and everyone reached out and took it away, though he struggled. When the bus driver had stopped and gotten up to usher out the seven kids, he found the scene of the six other bus mates holding Greg down.
"Um… okay… this is the stop so… uh… leave," the bus driver said, obviously very freaked out.
"Shit," Trixie said under her breath.
"What did you say?" the bus driver asked.
"Um… chutes… chutes and ladders! Yeah! I love that game, and I was told that's what we do here! We play lots and lots of chutes and ladders! Cause it's camp, you know? The game…" Trixie gave up. "Yeah."
"Right…" the bus driver backed away, then turned around muttering, "Blonde" under his breath.
"Why do we have to be interns for spies?" Alice asked.
"They pay a lot," Juliana said, getting up from her seat and slinging her bag over her shoulder.
The rest of them agreed and they filed out. Adrienne had given back Giorgio's letterman's jacket and was thoroughly embarrassed, along with everyone else. A happy looking man raced up with a tall woman in an obvious black wig with him.
"Hello all of you, I'm Mr. Pendanski, and this is Ms. Gene," he motioned to the woman. "We'll show you around! Come then!"
He walked a little ahead with Ms. Gene still behind.
"Gina, I hate you," Adrienne said, narrowing her eyes.
"It's Ms. Gene, Adrienne! You can't be a spy if you are giving up secret identities!" Gina smiled and winked. "Also, you look like a whore!"
"Oh, thanks."
"Come on! You criminals need to learn discipline!"
Gina walked forward, giddy and obviously very rested.
"She took the private jet," Alice said under her breath.
"Yep," Juliana responded.
"Bitch," Trixie spat.
"Yep," Juliana responded again.
"Did I mention that I hate my life?" Greg said as the group got their first looks at Camp Green Lake.
"Yep," Juliana slightly smiled, grabbing his arm and leaning her head on his shoulder.
