Harry looked around. No one seemed to be home. He found a note:
HARRY, WENT OUT FOR A WHILE. BE BACK SOON. HELP YOURSELF TO SOME DINNER.
RON IS AT THE DELANO'S. GO GET HIM WHEN YOU'RE READY. Harry crumpled the
note. Then he scolded himself silently. It was wrong for him to be so
childish, sure his life wasn't great but right now it was better than it
ever had been. He was living with his godfather for at least a little
while, his best friend was staying with him, and his two other best friends
were just a short flight away. He'd be going back to Hogwarts soon. He
should be happy. But he wasn't. And there wasn't anything he could do about
it.
Harry decided to go see Ron. Maybe then he could forget everything for a while.
"You okay, Harry?"
"Huh?"
"You don't look too good. Are you okay?"
"Yeah. I'm fine." *****************************************
Harry sat in his room for a long time that night. Sirius still wasn't home and Ron was asleep in the guestroom.
"Harry? I'm home. Are you here? Harry?"
Harry sat in his room and didn't answer. He heard Sirius come up the stairs and knock on the door.
"Harry? Do you want to talk?"
"No."
"Okay then. Make sure you get plenty of rest. We have to be at the Weaslys' at 10 in the morning."
"So?"
"Don't use that tone on me. We're driving there. Wake up early." He shut the door.
* * *
Harry heard a knock on the door. He groaned and rolled over.
"Harry, get up. We're leaving soon."
"Alright."
"Good."
Sirius left to go wake Ron up and Harry got dressed. He took his dress robes out of his dresser. With the new school robes Sirius had gotten for him had been a new set of dress robes, green with dark blue on the cuffs.
He went down to breakfast. Ron was there, eating and wearing dark blue dress robes.
"Where's Sirius?" Harry pulled out a chair and sat down helping himself to pancakes.
"Still getting dressed upstairs. Hermione and the Delanos will be here soon, probably leaving for the Burrow in twenty minutes. Mum wants me there early." He scowled at his plate. "She wants to make sure I'm dressed right and then help with setting up."
"Harry, Ron, are you ready?" Sirius came down the stairs still combing his hair.
"Yes. We're ready." Harry yawned.
"Good."
They all heard a knock at the door.
"I'll get it."
"No, don't get up, Harry. Finish your breakfast. I'll get it." Sirius changed his path from heading to the table to heading out toward the front door.
Ron got up from the table. "I'll see you later, Harry."
"Aren't you coming with us?"
"No. I'm getting there by Floo powder. Mum wants me there early."
"Why aren't we getting there by Floo Powder?"
"Can't have that many guests all trying to come in through the fireplace in one morning. Everything would be a mess. Later." Ron got up and went to the other room. Harry knew he was gone.
He heard Sirius call, "Harry! Come out. We're leaving."
Harry picked up the plates and put them in the sink. He left the house and stepped into the backseat of the Delano's car, next Renata. On the other side of Renata was Hermione. Renata's mum and Sirius were in the front seats. Everyone was dressed for the occasion, wearing dress robes of one color or another.
Hermione looked across over at him. "What's the matter, Harry? You don't look well."
Renata laughed, "Harry, if you're getting carsick please stick your head out the window and away from me."
"I'm not getting carsick. I'm tired."
Hermione glanced to see that Sirius wasn't listening before she whispered, "Was it nightmares? Did your scar hurt?"
"No and no."
"Then what is it?"
"Waking nightmares," he answered absently, staring out the window.
"Waking nightmares, what do you mean?"
"Nothing. I'll tell you about it later."
"Promise?"
"I will."
It may or may not have been coincidence but Sirius turned on the radio and drowned out any chance of further discussion. *********************
The ceremony and reception were both being held in the Weaslys' yard and sitting on the groom's side, Harry found himself seated amongst more red-haired people than he'd ever seen in one place before. Harry found himself seated between Sirius on his left and Hermione on his right. In front of him, was who Harry assumed to be an aunt of Ron's. Her hair was frizzy and stuck out in many directions and it was difficult for Harry to see much of what was going on up front, but he could hear it.
"Welcome, friends and family. We are gathered here for a very special occasion, the marriage of Penelope Clearwater and Percy Weasly. They have requested to read their own vows."
Harry's mind wandered and he listened to a few of the vows Percy and Penelope recited. He didn't listen to most of the ceremony, thoughts of the night before still swirling through his head.
Finally the man leading the ceremony neared the end and asked, "Are there any objections?" No one answered. "Very well. Then I am no pleased to pronounce you wizard and wife. You may kiss the bride."
The lady in front of Harry shifted positions and he saw that Percy's ears turned red; obviously he thought it was a little embarrassing to be kissing in public, even if it was wife.
Harry watched Penelope and Percy walk down the aisle between the guests and the rest who participated in the ceremony walked behind him. The guests cheered and everyone went over to where the refreshments were.
Ron quickly came and found Harry. He muttered, "I'm glad that's over, Harry. I was so bored."
Harry said nothing. He watched Hermione and Renata over by the punch bowl. Hermione saw him and came over to them with Renata.
"Hello. That was a great ceremony, wasn't it?" She smiled. She frowned when she saw his face and pulled him off to the side away from the others. "What's wrong, Harry?"
"It's nothing, Hermione. Forget it."
"No. Tell me, maybe I can help."
"I've gotta sort this out on my own."
"Alright. But if you need someone to talk to I'm here."
"I know." But how could she possibly understand all the questions about his parents going through his mind? Still trying to figure out why they had to die.
Mrs. Weasly came over, cheerful. "Harry! How are you?" she embraced him.
"I'm fine, Mrs. Weasly."
"Excited about your last year at Hogwarts?"
"Yes."
"Good, good." She left to go greet the other guests.
Harry realized she was right. This would be his last year at Hogwarts. At first this made him really happy. He wouldn't have to deal with Snape, or Draco or the other Slytherins, no more homework.no more place where he felt accepted, the only place where he felt he belonged. He'd be alone in the world: no home, no family, no life. He panicked: what was he going to do? He hadn't given it any thought before. He wouldn't go back to the Dursleys. Not ever. He could live with Sirius but that was something temporary. He had to have some sort of life plan. If he'd ever had one before he didn't know it now.
What was he going to do after school? He loved playing Quiditch but he didn't want to turn professional, it might take the fun out of the game. He refused to work for the Ministry of Magic. He didn't want to work with the Daily Prophet. He'd stay with Sirius 'til he figured it out. He was not going back to the Dursleys. Ever.
Harry tried to forget all this and enjoy the rest of the reception but it was difficult to.
* * *
Harry had just come back from Renata's house for lunch when Sirius said, "Harry, we have to talk. I've been looking for you."
Uh-oh, he thought. "What is it?"
"Harry, I shouldn't have done this, but I did. Come with me."
"Where are we going?"
"Just come." Sirius led the way up to his study. "Your answers are behind that door."
"Sirius, this is just your office. I've been here before. What answers?"
"Just go in." Sirius opened the door.
Harry saw Dumbledore, Lupin, and Cornelius Fudge. "What's Fudge doing here?" Harry muttered to Sirius. "I'm not talking to him." Fudge and Harry didn't really see eye to eye often.
"Harry, I'm here to help, but if you don't want my help I'll leave."
Sirius's eyes narrowed. "You've caused enough trouble as it is, Fudge, you're not going anywhere."
"Trouble?" asked Harry.
"He didn't take action when he should have and now things are out of control," Sirius replied.
"What Albus said was inconceivable! The fact that You-Know-Who had been reborn and his servants called to him.after all the work it's taken to make things right, it couldn't be happening!"
Harry's jaw dropped. "Couldn't be happening? Couldn't be happening! I saw it! I told you. I told you three years ago! You were an idiot and didn't want to believe anything could mess up the stupid prejudice world you put back together and you were going to ignore the problem just to keep from being embarrassed."
"Liar! I'm not prejudice."
"Yeah, you are. You don't like Muggles, or Muggle-borns, or anybody who likes Muggles. You're against anybody who isn't a pureblood. Hagrid was the kindest guy on Earth and you didn't like them because he was a half- giant. He died because of Voldemort. And there's plenty of guys in the ministry you aren't giving promotions for the same reasons! You're a moron. I mean it. An idiot. Just leave me alone. And don't expect my vote in the upcoming election."
Fudge Disapperated on the spot, without another word.
Dumbledore seemed torn between amusement and possibly anger. "Are you sure that was wise, Harry?"
"I don't care. So why are you here?"
"Sirius told me you had some questions. I'll answer what I can."
"Why did Voldemort kill my parents? Why did he try to kill me? Is there anyway we can get rid of Fudge?"
"Harry, these are all very good questions, but I can't answer them."
"Why not?"
"I promised your parents."
"They knew they were going to die that night?"
"Well."
"They knew what would happen?"
"Not really.I can't explain, Harry. I promised I wouldn't say anything to you. They wanted you to figure it out on your own. They want you to shine of your own light."
"Shine? What are you talking about? I just want answers."
"I can't give them to you, Harry. You have to find them for yourself."
"Just tell me why."
"You'll know someday, Harry." He sighed. "That's all I wanted to say. I'll see you on Saturday."
The rest of the week passed quickly. Too quickly. Soon Harry found it was Friday night. The Delanos, Hermione, Ron, Sirius, and he ate pizza together for dinner and Sirius set off some Filbuster's fireworks for them to all watch. Then everyone went to his or her room (the Hermione and the Delanos went back to their home). Harry was already packed for the morning already. He put on his pajamas and was about to get into bed when Sirius knocked on the door.
"Mind if I come in?"
"It's your house." Neither of them spoke for almost two minutes.
"Harry, what's wrong? You've been upset all week. Is it about me taking you to the cemetery? I shouldn't have done that. I'm sorry."
"It's not that."
"Then what's wrong, Harry? I can't know things unless you tell me. I don't read minds."
"That's good to know," he muttered.
"What? You've had some bad luck with mind readers?"
"Yeah. Renata."
"Well, what's wrong?"
"I don't know what I'm going to do with my life, Sirius. After Hogwarts, I mean. I never thought any further than that. And," he hesitated. "How am I supposed to move forward if I don't know what's behind me? I know almost nothing about my parents, I don't know why I'm being chased all these years by Voldemort, and I don't even know who I am. It- I- I just feel clueless sometimes."
"That's normal, Harry. Everybody feels that way sometimes."
"Has everybody been stuck living with the Dursleys and lied to for years? Does everyone have a maniac chasing him and trying to kill him?"
"No, Harry. They don't. I'm sorry I don't have all the answers."
"So am I. I'm tired, Sirius."
Sirius knew that Harry actually meant something along the lines of, "Leave me alone I don't want to talk about it anymore." So he stood, walked to the door and quietly said, "I'll see you in the morning, Harry. Get a good night's rest."
Harry watched Sirius leave and he lay down in bed. It was a long time before he fell asleep.
Harry decided to go see Ron. Maybe then he could forget everything for a while.
"You okay, Harry?"
"Huh?"
"You don't look too good. Are you okay?"
"Yeah. I'm fine." *****************************************
Harry sat in his room for a long time that night. Sirius still wasn't home and Ron was asleep in the guestroom.
"Harry? I'm home. Are you here? Harry?"
Harry sat in his room and didn't answer. He heard Sirius come up the stairs and knock on the door.
"Harry? Do you want to talk?"
"No."
"Okay then. Make sure you get plenty of rest. We have to be at the Weaslys' at 10 in the morning."
"So?"
"Don't use that tone on me. We're driving there. Wake up early." He shut the door.
* * *
Harry heard a knock on the door. He groaned and rolled over.
"Harry, get up. We're leaving soon."
"Alright."
"Good."
Sirius left to go wake Ron up and Harry got dressed. He took his dress robes out of his dresser. With the new school robes Sirius had gotten for him had been a new set of dress robes, green with dark blue on the cuffs.
He went down to breakfast. Ron was there, eating and wearing dark blue dress robes.
"Where's Sirius?" Harry pulled out a chair and sat down helping himself to pancakes.
"Still getting dressed upstairs. Hermione and the Delanos will be here soon, probably leaving for the Burrow in twenty minutes. Mum wants me there early." He scowled at his plate. "She wants to make sure I'm dressed right and then help with setting up."
"Harry, Ron, are you ready?" Sirius came down the stairs still combing his hair.
"Yes. We're ready." Harry yawned.
"Good."
They all heard a knock at the door.
"I'll get it."
"No, don't get up, Harry. Finish your breakfast. I'll get it." Sirius changed his path from heading to the table to heading out toward the front door.
Ron got up from the table. "I'll see you later, Harry."
"Aren't you coming with us?"
"No. I'm getting there by Floo powder. Mum wants me there early."
"Why aren't we getting there by Floo Powder?"
"Can't have that many guests all trying to come in through the fireplace in one morning. Everything would be a mess. Later." Ron got up and went to the other room. Harry knew he was gone.
He heard Sirius call, "Harry! Come out. We're leaving."
Harry picked up the plates and put them in the sink. He left the house and stepped into the backseat of the Delano's car, next Renata. On the other side of Renata was Hermione. Renata's mum and Sirius were in the front seats. Everyone was dressed for the occasion, wearing dress robes of one color or another.
Hermione looked across over at him. "What's the matter, Harry? You don't look well."
Renata laughed, "Harry, if you're getting carsick please stick your head out the window and away from me."
"I'm not getting carsick. I'm tired."
Hermione glanced to see that Sirius wasn't listening before she whispered, "Was it nightmares? Did your scar hurt?"
"No and no."
"Then what is it?"
"Waking nightmares," he answered absently, staring out the window.
"Waking nightmares, what do you mean?"
"Nothing. I'll tell you about it later."
"Promise?"
"I will."
It may or may not have been coincidence but Sirius turned on the radio and drowned out any chance of further discussion. *********************
The ceremony and reception were both being held in the Weaslys' yard and sitting on the groom's side, Harry found himself seated amongst more red-haired people than he'd ever seen in one place before. Harry found himself seated between Sirius on his left and Hermione on his right. In front of him, was who Harry assumed to be an aunt of Ron's. Her hair was frizzy and stuck out in many directions and it was difficult for Harry to see much of what was going on up front, but he could hear it.
"Welcome, friends and family. We are gathered here for a very special occasion, the marriage of Penelope Clearwater and Percy Weasly. They have requested to read their own vows."
Harry's mind wandered and he listened to a few of the vows Percy and Penelope recited. He didn't listen to most of the ceremony, thoughts of the night before still swirling through his head.
Finally the man leading the ceremony neared the end and asked, "Are there any objections?" No one answered. "Very well. Then I am no pleased to pronounce you wizard and wife. You may kiss the bride."
The lady in front of Harry shifted positions and he saw that Percy's ears turned red; obviously he thought it was a little embarrassing to be kissing in public, even if it was wife.
Harry watched Penelope and Percy walk down the aisle between the guests and the rest who participated in the ceremony walked behind him. The guests cheered and everyone went over to where the refreshments were.
Ron quickly came and found Harry. He muttered, "I'm glad that's over, Harry. I was so bored."
Harry said nothing. He watched Hermione and Renata over by the punch bowl. Hermione saw him and came over to them with Renata.
"Hello. That was a great ceremony, wasn't it?" She smiled. She frowned when she saw his face and pulled him off to the side away from the others. "What's wrong, Harry?"
"It's nothing, Hermione. Forget it."
"No. Tell me, maybe I can help."
"I've gotta sort this out on my own."
"Alright. But if you need someone to talk to I'm here."
"I know." But how could she possibly understand all the questions about his parents going through his mind? Still trying to figure out why they had to die.
Mrs. Weasly came over, cheerful. "Harry! How are you?" she embraced him.
"I'm fine, Mrs. Weasly."
"Excited about your last year at Hogwarts?"
"Yes."
"Good, good." She left to go greet the other guests.
Harry realized she was right. This would be his last year at Hogwarts. At first this made him really happy. He wouldn't have to deal with Snape, or Draco or the other Slytherins, no more homework.no more place where he felt accepted, the only place where he felt he belonged. He'd be alone in the world: no home, no family, no life. He panicked: what was he going to do? He hadn't given it any thought before. He wouldn't go back to the Dursleys. Not ever. He could live with Sirius but that was something temporary. He had to have some sort of life plan. If he'd ever had one before he didn't know it now.
What was he going to do after school? He loved playing Quiditch but he didn't want to turn professional, it might take the fun out of the game. He refused to work for the Ministry of Magic. He didn't want to work with the Daily Prophet. He'd stay with Sirius 'til he figured it out. He was not going back to the Dursleys. Ever.
Harry tried to forget all this and enjoy the rest of the reception but it was difficult to.
* * *
Harry had just come back from Renata's house for lunch when Sirius said, "Harry, we have to talk. I've been looking for you."
Uh-oh, he thought. "What is it?"
"Harry, I shouldn't have done this, but I did. Come with me."
"Where are we going?"
"Just come." Sirius led the way up to his study. "Your answers are behind that door."
"Sirius, this is just your office. I've been here before. What answers?"
"Just go in." Sirius opened the door.
Harry saw Dumbledore, Lupin, and Cornelius Fudge. "What's Fudge doing here?" Harry muttered to Sirius. "I'm not talking to him." Fudge and Harry didn't really see eye to eye often.
"Harry, I'm here to help, but if you don't want my help I'll leave."
Sirius's eyes narrowed. "You've caused enough trouble as it is, Fudge, you're not going anywhere."
"Trouble?" asked Harry.
"He didn't take action when he should have and now things are out of control," Sirius replied.
"What Albus said was inconceivable! The fact that You-Know-Who had been reborn and his servants called to him.after all the work it's taken to make things right, it couldn't be happening!"
Harry's jaw dropped. "Couldn't be happening? Couldn't be happening! I saw it! I told you. I told you three years ago! You were an idiot and didn't want to believe anything could mess up the stupid prejudice world you put back together and you were going to ignore the problem just to keep from being embarrassed."
"Liar! I'm not prejudice."
"Yeah, you are. You don't like Muggles, or Muggle-borns, or anybody who likes Muggles. You're against anybody who isn't a pureblood. Hagrid was the kindest guy on Earth and you didn't like them because he was a half- giant. He died because of Voldemort. And there's plenty of guys in the ministry you aren't giving promotions for the same reasons! You're a moron. I mean it. An idiot. Just leave me alone. And don't expect my vote in the upcoming election."
Fudge Disapperated on the spot, without another word.
Dumbledore seemed torn between amusement and possibly anger. "Are you sure that was wise, Harry?"
"I don't care. So why are you here?"
"Sirius told me you had some questions. I'll answer what I can."
"Why did Voldemort kill my parents? Why did he try to kill me? Is there anyway we can get rid of Fudge?"
"Harry, these are all very good questions, but I can't answer them."
"Why not?"
"I promised your parents."
"They knew they were going to die that night?"
"Well."
"They knew what would happen?"
"Not really.I can't explain, Harry. I promised I wouldn't say anything to you. They wanted you to figure it out on your own. They want you to shine of your own light."
"Shine? What are you talking about? I just want answers."
"I can't give them to you, Harry. You have to find them for yourself."
"Just tell me why."
"You'll know someday, Harry." He sighed. "That's all I wanted to say. I'll see you on Saturday."
The rest of the week passed quickly. Too quickly. Soon Harry found it was Friday night. The Delanos, Hermione, Ron, Sirius, and he ate pizza together for dinner and Sirius set off some Filbuster's fireworks for them to all watch. Then everyone went to his or her room (the Hermione and the Delanos went back to their home). Harry was already packed for the morning already. He put on his pajamas and was about to get into bed when Sirius knocked on the door.
"Mind if I come in?"
"It's your house." Neither of them spoke for almost two minutes.
"Harry, what's wrong? You've been upset all week. Is it about me taking you to the cemetery? I shouldn't have done that. I'm sorry."
"It's not that."
"Then what's wrong, Harry? I can't know things unless you tell me. I don't read minds."
"That's good to know," he muttered.
"What? You've had some bad luck with mind readers?"
"Yeah. Renata."
"Well, what's wrong?"
"I don't know what I'm going to do with my life, Sirius. After Hogwarts, I mean. I never thought any further than that. And," he hesitated. "How am I supposed to move forward if I don't know what's behind me? I know almost nothing about my parents, I don't know why I'm being chased all these years by Voldemort, and I don't even know who I am. It- I- I just feel clueless sometimes."
"That's normal, Harry. Everybody feels that way sometimes."
"Has everybody been stuck living with the Dursleys and lied to for years? Does everyone have a maniac chasing him and trying to kill him?"
"No, Harry. They don't. I'm sorry I don't have all the answers."
"So am I. I'm tired, Sirius."
Sirius knew that Harry actually meant something along the lines of, "Leave me alone I don't want to talk about it anymore." So he stood, walked to the door and quietly said, "I'll see you in the morning, Harry. Get a good night's rest."
Harry watched Sirius leave and he lay down in bed. It was a long time before he fell asleep.
