Disclaimer
I do not own Holes. I do not dig holes. I do not like holes. But I do like books about holes, so we have that.
The group of amateur spies slept on their cots with their mouths wide open and drool pooling under said open mouths. They had not found the boys of D-tent the day before, but they had made a plan to kill Gina in the most painful way possible. Unfortunately, that meant that all of their fellow campers thought that they were both insane and murderers. After Greg attacked one boy, who called him a 'fairy princess,' with a fork, no other campers seemed to want anything to do with them. Alice felt that this was not a good sign. Tap felt that it was a conspiracy.
Gina wandered through the darkness, feeling that it was much too early to be walking anywhere, but her determination kept her going. She looked at her watch with disdain: 5:30. Who wakes up at 5:30? Interns. Interns wake up at 5:30. Bosses wake up said interns and then go back to sleep. Gina clutched her blow horn with a smile. How great it was to be a boss and not an intern.
She walked into the tent with her slack jawed interns sleeping soundly and promptly blew the blow horn, "WAKE UP KIDDIES!"
"Holy Mother of Jesus," Trixie yelped, falling out of bed.
"Holy Mother of Jesus?" Juliana raised an eyebrow. "We've only been here for a day and you aren't cursing anymore?"
"Hey, that's what I say when I am surprised. I can't fucking help it," Trixie said as she got up and rubbed the drool and dirt off her face.
"I need coffee!" Alice muttered, who unsuccessfully tried to sit up but fell back down again.
"Enough talking, more getting up and digging. You must start early to get done in time to talk to D-tent!" Gina exclaimed enthusiastically.
Greg muttered something along the lines of, "Hang you from a tree by your own intestines" as he got up and changed into his jumpsuit. Gina patted him on the back, congratulated him on his enthusiasm and left, ready to get back to sleep. The whole group sat there for a moment staring after her, bleary eyed and unable to comprehend what was going on. Suddenly, Greg lurched for his gun, ready to blow Gina away and muttering something like, "I'll kill the bitch and her little wig too!" The whole group sprang into action, tackling him to make sure he didn't kill the bitch and her little wig too. Though the wig was so atrocious looking that it did need to put out of its misery.
The group walked to the "Library," which had been quite the disappointment when they all found out only shovels were there and not books, not entirely ready for what they had to do. Adrienne couldn't remember her name, let alone that she had to dig two holes, so the prospect that she would get done before D-tent, whoever the hell they were, was not a good one. Greg hadn't regained his sanity yet, so the prospect that he would not kill someone was also not a good one. All in all, the whole idea that such sheltered individuals should be at a camp to dig holes to "build character" was another not good prospect.
They all walked to where they were to dig holes. Juliana started to think about how she couldn't remember her name the day before, and now Adrienne was in her position. Mr. Sir was terrorizing a couple kids about something or another, and did not notice them at first. Once he did though, his face ruminated in an evil smile, which remained there until he had assigned them places to dig. He spit on Adrienne's shoes as he left, though she had no idea what a hole was at that moment. She stared at her feet for a moment, suddenly comprehending everything.
"Ooh, this sucks," she said quietly.
"Yep," Juliana answered as she stood on the blade of her shovel to try to get it into the ground. "What is with this ground?"
"It's hard as a rock. It doesn't rain here," a male's voice said.
The whole group turned around to see a black boy with bottle lens glasses. Adrienne looked up from her shoes, contemplating what was going on again. Juliana was even more confused. She leaned on the end of her shovel and did not wobble at all from the stable base of hard, rock dirt that her shovel was stuck in.
"Well, thanks for that, sir," Alice answered with a sneer.
The whole group knew that Alice got quite nasty without her morning coffee. Well, until she didn't need the coffee anymore.
Giorgio whispered in her ear silently, "Sound blacker."
"Shut up, Giorgio, no one asked you," Alice growled, plunging her shovel into the dirt and throwing out a large chunk.
"Ooh, what a bi…" Trixie started before Tap stepped on her foot in warning. "I mean, a uh… bumbling bumblebee. Bumbling… yeah… so, digging, should get to that."
"What a blonde," a boy, who had already started digging his hole and a hat and towel on his head, said to the amusement of the black boy and four others. A small boy with the group didn't speak at all. Tap eyed him suspiciously, wondering if he was in on the secret
"Okay, wait, I have no idea what is going on right now. I figured out why I was a shovel for a moment, and then I forgot, and now I'm trying to figure out where the hell I am and who you people are. I think I may have missed something," Adrienne said with her eyebrows slightly raised.
Juliana looked at her hand, "Holes, something about holes. See, I wrote it on my hand so that I would remember. Also there's something about keeping Greg from any kind of weapon, but I think I already knew that."
"I'm utterly confused," Adrienne continued, addressing the boy with the towel hat on his head. "Why do you have a towel on your head? And who are the rest of you anyway? Two days ago, I was at home, finishing my application to Yale…." suddenly, she had an epiphany. "Oh no. Oh no. Oh no."
"Yale?" A boy with crazy hair asked. "Yale is for the future assassins of America."
Alice stopped digging and blinked her eyes, "What?"
"Ooh, sassy," Giorgio smiled as he too his whack at his hole.
The boys laughed and the boy with the glasses walked up to him.
"So, you all are the new campers then?" he asked with a knowing smile.
"We are, yes," Alice answered for Giorgio, who was absolutely giddy to have someone laugh at his joke. "And you?"
"We are the boys of D-tent," he answered, getting in her face.
"Holy fuck! You are all D-tent?" Trixie broke out and everyone looked at her. "Uh… did I say 'fuck,' because I meant falafel. I got confused by the situation… because I am blonde… and stupid… and uh… confuse easily… or something…. Yeah, hole. Hole needs to be dug now and I will shut up… right."
"Oh shit!" Adrienne covered her mouth in horror. "Shit shit shit!"
"Hey, if you can't cuss, I can't!" Trixie yelped.
"But Adrienne is a whore, so thus, she can cuss all she wants," Tap smiled. "As can I. See? Fucking shovel piece of shit fuck bitch fuck fuckity fuck shit um… crap."
Greg's eye twitched slightly as he held his shovel. He had not moved an inch since he was told where to dig. Juliana started to jump on her shovel to try to get it into the ground. She was successful in getting it further in the ground, but unfortunately, she was also successful in lodging it in such a way that she both fell over and had no way to get it out. Adrienne had not regained her composure yet because she knew that she blew her cover a little bit. Giorgio noticed the struggling of his fellow interns and decided to save them the best he could.
"Well, we are C-tent, as you already know, and we are quite the characters. Yesterday we had to get acquainted, and it all did not work out, let me tell you," Giorgio smiled, stepping before Alice, who nearly smashed her shovel into his skull. "I'm Giorgio, and this is the crew. Adrienne over there has a problem with lying unless it comes to her sexual escapades. Tap is a little loony because of all the drugs she has taken. Greg is… Greg. Alice is a total bitch without her coffee, but with it, she is quite laid back. Trixie, as we all can tell, is a blonde of the stupidest and random kind. Sorry Trix. Juliana, well, Juliana is just one of the guys, though she is lovably klutzy. Did I miss anyone? No. No, I think not."
The boy with glasses held out his hand for a handshake, "As I said, we are D-tent. I'm X-Ray, towel head over there is Squid."
"Hey," Squid nodded.
"The crazy guy over there is Zigzag," Zigzag did not respond. X-Ray motioned to a large black boy. "That's Armpit."
"Hello," he called, raising his arm and nearly knocking out a smaller, but still big, boy digging next to him.
"The one who almost passed out is Caveman. The small one next to him is Zero. Magnet is the one over there leaning on his shovel," a Mexican boy waved slightly, still leaning on his shovel. X-Ray smiled. "So that's us."
"We don't have nicknames yet. Well, except Tap, but Tap came with Tap," Giorgio shrugged.
"Don't worry, we'll show you the ropes," X-Ray answered. "Since you are all new, I think we can name you all."
Alice sprung forward. "Well thank you, X-Ray, but we are fine. In fact, we need to get to digging our holes, if you don't mind. Adrienne has to dig two and she hasn't even…" Alice turned to motion to Adrienne, but Adrienne was already knee deep in a hole. "What the hell, Adrienne?"
She looked up, wiping dirt off her face, "What? Oh, right, the hole thing. I guess I'm just good with my hands. Just ask my past boyfriends. I am good with my hands," she winked with a raunchy smile. "Go on with the yelling, dear."
Alice narrowed her eyes and turned back to X-Ray, "Anyway, as I was saying…"
"We'll call her Brazen. She reminds me of a brazen hussy," X-Ray nodded toward Adrienne.
Adrienne looked up from her hole, "Hey, I'm no hussy. I'm a certified slut."
Alice's lips became very thin in her anger, "You will not name any of my tent mates!"
"Aye, aye Captain!" Squid called.
"Hey, that's funny!" Giorgio laughed, digging into his hole. "You are such a captain, Alice. A captain of soul."
"Shut up, jock strapped idiot!" Alice shouted.
Trixie burst out laughing, nearly tripping into her hole, "Jock strap is funny!"
"You have to be called Jock Strap now," X-Ray laughed.
"Well, cool," Trixie smiled.
"We are digging our holes now, so excuse us," Alice gave a fake smile, dug a chunk out of her hole and tossed it to nearly hit X-Ray in the face.
He rolled his eyes and went to his hole, with Squid and Armpit laughing at him. C-tent and D-tent were all digging and generally having a somewhat good time, for some strange reason. Adrienne started telling lewd jokes and Juliana started to act like one of the guys. The personas were actually working. Greg, however, still had not moved by the time Adrienne had finished her first hole and went to sit in between Squid's and X-Ray's to wait for Mr. Sir to assign her where to dig her next hole. The three were chatting about the double standard with girls and guys about sex. Adrienne was of course making everything up, but so was everyone else.
Greg blinked his eyes for the first time and spoke loudly, "I'm flamboyantly gay."
Adrienne, Squid and X-Ray turned to look at him and said, "What?" at the same time.
Greg looked toward them blankly, blinked again and broke out of his trance in a high, womanly voice. "I'm gay. I want everyone to know. I like pink and I love Cher. I am gay and I don't care who knows it!"
"Hold on, Rosie O' Donnell, what the heck are you talking about?" Juliana looked out of her hole.
X-Ray burst out laughing, "Rosie! Your name is Rosie!"
"You can call me whatever you want, honey," Greg winked.
Armpit laughed at X-Ray's pale face, "Ooh, looks like X-Ray has a girlfriend!"
Then the whole group laughed and Greg broke into the dirt. When Mr. Sir came with the water truck, he was surprised at how well the new tent had done and quite dismayed that Adrienne had already finished one hole. Once all the holes were done, C-tent and D-tent walked over to the wreck room, instantly friends. Alice even warmed up, though that was because Magnet stole some coffee for her.
Gina, however, was having quite the problem wooing Mr. Sir and keeping her wig from starting on fire.
