Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds. All the characters are not mine, either. I'm simply writing fictional stories about my favorite show. I do not make any profit from them. The stories are only for those who also love this show and want to read different material. All rights of the show belong to CBS and the production company. Thank you and enjoy this story.
Author's Notes: As you can probably tell, I'm a huge fan of the show. I love all the characters/actors in the show. The storylines are amazing. I'm an English major and a writer in the making. I also happen to be a huge shipper of Elle/Derek Morgan. I think they have a great chemistry. They had some sparks in the episode, The Broken Mirror and other episodes as well. This is a romantic story that gives the readers a glimpse to who Elle really is and what happened to her in the past. I hope all of you guys enjoy my story. Please don't hesitate to post comments on it. Thank you.
EDIT: Sorry for the long delay. I've been working long hours the past few weeks. And sorry to mention this again but please do not make comments about the format in which this story is being written. It's in the script format. Because I'm a scriptwriter, I always write like this. If this really bothers you then please do not read the story. Thank you.
Previously on Unexpected Feelings…
Elle: Natalie? Are you here? What just happened? Did I actually have a psychic connection with Natalie? No, that can't be true. It just can't. It must have all been a dream. I'm okay. I just need to breathe. It was just a dream. It's all in my head. I mean there is no such a thing as psychic connections. Is there? I'm just really exhausted. I'm only seeing things. I've got to get some sleep otherwise I'll go crazy.
She lay down on Natalie's bed once again. Elle closed her eyes and was fast asleep. Only this time, she did not have a peaceful dream. This time, she had a nightmare. And this nightmare was vivid as well.
Chapter 13Elle was twisting and turning in her sleep. Everything in her mind was dark. Coldness and fear overwhelmed her when she realized that she was in her parents' old house. She looked into the mirror and saw an image of her at the age of seventeen. She noticed her old braces on her teeth and her baggy clothing. She felt her heart rapidly beating as she recalled that fateful night. She looked around her old house and saw pictures of her with her family. She saw her high school yearbook on her desk. She looked over at the pictures of her with her high school friends. In those pictures, she saw her radiant smile and remembered, for a second, what it felt like to be carefree and truly happy. She used to be a young girl with so much passion and life in her heart. She loved to laugh and smile. Tears formed in her eyes as she remembered her old self before the rape. All of a sudden, it got even darker in her house. The only light that was on was suddenly turned off. She became frightened. All she wanted to do was run away because she knew what would happen next. Fear took over her body, and she couldn't move. She was paralyzed. When she was finally able to move her feet, she ran downstairs. But it was too late. Someone grabbed her from the behind. She fought with the intruder, but he was so much stronger than her. She tried to yell, but his hand was on her mouth. She was trapped and in the mercy of the intruder. She smelled his cologne, and was overwhelmed with the memory of this cologne from somewhere before. It was so familiar. If only she could see his face. He began whispering in her ear.
Intruder: Don't move, Elle. If you do what I say, you will be all right. Don't try to fight. Just relax. It will be so much better for you if you just calm down.
She felt sick to her stomach while listening to his words. And yet, his voice sounded so damn familiar. She heard it before and not only once. Her mind was racing. She tried to picture his face. She was terrified and couldn't think straight.
Intruder: It's all right, sweetheart. I will make your first time very memorable. Don't worry. I'll take care of all of your needs. You will be very satisfied. You will feel like you just died and gone to heaven. I promise you that.
He threw her on the floor and then got on top of her. She saw a strand of his curly hair and noticed his scar. This man seemed so familiar. If only she could focus for a second. If only her heart would stop beating so damn fast. She knew this man but, for some odd reason, she could not picture his face.
Intruder: You're so young and innocent and so full of life. You're like a ray of sunshine. A man like me would be lucky to have you, even for one night. You're so damn sexy, baby.
He pronounced the letter s like the sound th. A light bulb lit inside of her. She knew who this man was, and all she wanted to do was die right then. She felt so ashamed and embarrassed and betrayed. She trusted this man with all of her heart. She looked up to him because he was her idol. This man was like a second father to her. She thought that he was the only one who had truly understood her and listened to her. She had always wanted for him to be the godfather of her future children. It hurt a lot because she truly loved this man. And here he was trying to hurt her. It was like a dagger to her heart. She wanted to get his image out of her head permanently. She told herself to forget who he was and that he ever existed. She wanted to feel nothing and just die on that damn floor. And so she closed her eyes and fought with her heart to throw him out of her life. She told herself that she never knew him. And yet, the tears kept pouring.
Elle: Why are you doing this to me? WHY?
Intruder: Oh come now, I'm doing this FOR you. You deserve an amazing first time. And I'm willing to give you just that. So just enjoy it.
She opened her eyes for an instant and saw this masked individual. His mask was so dark that it would be impossible to identify him, but she knew who he was. She knew damn well who this man really was. Her memories came flooding back to her. She remembered her first day in her high school. She was a shy ninth grader who had trouble fitting in. She didn't really know how to talk to people. She was very quiet and awkward. As she walked into her first class of the day, she felt her heart beating rapidly. She nervously looked around the classroom and saw beautiful paintings everywhere. She also admired all the lovely sculptures. She told herself that she was going to love this painting class. One painting particularly captured her attention. In this painting, there was a young girl seating near the river. This young girl looked so relaxed and happy. It was as though the world was a peaceful place. Elle wanted to be that young girl. She desperately wanted that happiness and peace. Her thoughts were interrupted by the voice behind her.
Mr. Thomson: Hello, there. That's probably the longest time I've ever seen anyone look at one of my paintings.
She quickly turned around and saw a man in his forties looking straight at her. He had deep brown eyes and dark curly hair. He was wearing cologne that smelled oddly like raspberries. She figured that this man was probably her painting teacher.
Elle: Oh, I'm sorry. I'm just early for class, I guess. I couldn't take my eyes off of this painting. It's just so beautiful.
Mr. Thomson: Thank you. That's actually my favorite painting. I painted that when my daughter was sixteen years old.
Elle: Oh, the girl in your painting is your daughter?
Mr. Thomson: Yes, indeed. This was my daughter. She was just so full of life. I've never seen a happier child. She really brought so much happiness into everyone's lives.
Elle: Is she also a painter?
Mr. Thomson: She used to be a painter before she was murdered years ago.
Elle: Oh, I'm so sorry. Oh my god. I'm so sorry. I'm totally getting in your way here. I'm just going to take my seat and wait for the other students to arrive. I'm just bothering you. I do that a lot to people. Bother them, that is.
Mr. Thomson: Hey, it's all right. You're not bothering me, and I can't imagine you bothering anyone else. Besides, I'm the one who told you about my daughter. It was all me. You've got no reason to apologize at all.
Elle: I'm very sorry.
Mr. Thomson: Do you always apologize ten times?
Elle: Yeah, it's usually my fault. I mean I tend to cause trouble. Okay, now I'm really talking too much, which is really weird because I usually am a really quiet person. Ask anyone. I'm actually a quiet student. You know, I never talk a lot. Well, until now, that is. Okay, I'm just going to sit down now.
Mr. Thomson: My name is Jake Thomson. You can call me Mr. Thomson or Jake, if you like. And you must be a freshman. What's your name?
Elle: Oh, Elle. My name is Elle.
Mr. Thomson: You mean like the letter L. That's your name.
Elle: Yes, sir. I mean yes, Mr. Thomson.
Mr. Thomson: Well, that's a very unique name. Is it after someone in your family?
Elle: Oh, I really don't know. That just has been my name. I don't know.
Mr. Thomson: Have you ever painted before?
Elle: Um, yeah, just for fun, though. I never had a real painting class or anything.
Mr. Thomson: What do you like about this particular painting of mine?
Elle: It's just so pretty. Um, that's all, I guess…I mean, I don't know.
Mr. Thomson: Don't ever be afraid to say what you feel. There is no reason to ever feel shy. You have to have confidence in order to really achieve anything in life. Listen, life is really tough. But that's why you always have to hold your head up high. And most importantly, never be afraid of anything.
Elle: I guess I just really like the way you painted your daughter. She looks so happy and relaxed. Like nothing can ever hurt her, you know. It calms you down. I look at it, and I feel better, I guess.
Mr. Thomson: See, that wasn't so hard. You just told me how you felt about my painting, and the world did not end.
For the first time in her life, Elle felt really comfortable talking to someone. Mr. Thomson seemed like a kind individual. The way he spoke. It was just so calming and gentle. He smiled at Elle. She noticed that he had a scar on his chin. She looked at it for a moment and wondered where he got it.
Mr. Thomson: So, I see that you've noticed my scar.
Elle: Oh, no. I wasn't really looking at it, really.
Mr. Thomson: It's all right, Elle. You don't have to defend yourself all the time. I do have a rather big scar. The thing is that I own a couple of boats. And just the other day, I sort of got into an accident on my boat. Unfortunately, the doctors told me that the scar is permanent. So I better get used to seeing people look at it.
Elle: I'm really sorry.
Mr. Thomson: Look, how about we make a new rule?
Elle: What do you mean?
Mr. Thomson: Let's make a deal that you will never say the word 'sorry' again. Okay?
Elle: But why?
Mr. Thomson: Because you don't have to apologize all the time. Stop making yourself feel guilty for practically everything. You're a good girl. You don't need to ever apologize for being honest or for saying what you think. It's all right. Hopefully, painting will help you find your true self. It will help you open yourself up to other people. The scar that I have does not change who I am. I'm still me. And I'm not ashamed of people looking at it or of anyone mentioning it. You should not be ashamed of yourself, either. You are so young and have your whole life ahead of you. Plus I cannot wait to see you paint. I'm sure you're great at it. Anything else you want to tell me about the painting?
Elle: I guess I just want to be that girl. I want to feel happy. And I want to feel relaxed.
Mr. Thomson: It's not that hard. You just have to let yourself feel happy and relaxed. It's that simple. Don't ever be so hard on yourself. We all make mistakes all the time. We're only human, after all. No one is perfect. I think our imperfections make us unique, actually. We should be proud of them.
Elle smiled. She really enjoyed talking to her painting teacher. Everything he was saying made her feel better. As he was talking, she realized that she forgot all about his scar. It's as though his scar did not exist anymore. She looked at his face and saw no sign of the scar. Instead, she paid close attention to everything he was saying. His words just really touched her heart. For the first time in a long time, she felt like someone understood her. She was only a ninth grader but felt like an adult. Her parents had always loved her a great deal but never truly understood her awkwardness and quietness. They just did not really know how to talk to their daughter. Elle had always been a quiet child who loved to keep her distance from everyone, including her parents. She was never very social with anyone, not even her own family. And yet, here she was talking freely to a complete stranger. She has never talked so much in her life. Few minutes passed by, and suddenly the whole class was filled with eager students. Mr. Thomson began his introductory speech.
Mr. Thomson: Hello, everyone. My name is Jake Thomson. You can call me Mr. Thomson or Jake, whatever feels more comfortable to you. Welcome to the introductory painting class. Here, all of you will be able to learn different kinds of painting techniques. You will also get the chance to learn a lot about the history of art and about famous painters and sculptors. The goal in this class is to simply open yourselves up through your paintings and your art. I would like to see you taking risks when you are painting. The rules are rather simple in this class. Don't be tardy to class and always come prepared to do work on a regular basis. And please try to avoid being absent for a long period of time. Attendance is very important to me. I want to see all of your lovely faces here on a regular basis. If you have any questions or any concerns, please never hesitate to talk to me. I'm here for all of you. All right, that about covers it. Well, actually there is also one more rule. Have fun, guys. That's all I want for you. Just enjoy yourselves in this class and truly open yourselves up to the world. Forget about your outside lives. And just focus on painting. It's that simple.
Mr. Thomson did not waste any time. He passed out all the paintbrushes and all the other supplies right away.
Mr. Thomson: Your very first assignment is to paint something that is very dear to you. It could be anything. All right, guys. You've got about half an hour left in today's class time. You don't have to finish it today. I'll give you more time to work on it tomorrow.
The students quickly began to paint. Elle was hesitant to start her painting. She tried to think of something that meant a lot to her. For some odd reason, she could not think of anything. Mr. Thomson saw her staring at her blank sheet of paper. She was holding a brush in her hand with a confused look on her face. He went over to help her get started.
Mr. Thomson: Is something wrong, Elle?
Elle: Mr. Thomson, I don't know what to paint. I can't seem to think of anything dear to me.
Mr. Thomson: You've got plenty of time. You don't have to rush anything. But don't spend too much time thinking. Just be you. Paint what's in your heart. I'm certain that you have something in your life that is very dear to you.
Elle: Well, there is something but I'm not sure if it applies here.
Mr. Thomson: I'm sure it does. What is it?
Elle: My uncle has this amazing puppy. It's perfect, in my eyes, anyway. His name is Happy, and he always gets into trouble. He has this habit of biting my uncle's expensive shoes. And I don't know. I just love Happy. But he is not mine, you know. He doesn't belong to me. So I don't know if I can paint him.
Mr. Thomson: Of course you can paint him. You hold him dear. He doesn't have to be fully yours for you to love him as much as you do. I think it's a great idea. You should definitely paint Happy.
Elle:
Really?
Mr. Thomson: Yeah, Elle. Definitely.
Elle: Okay.
Elle nervously began applying her brush to the paper. She seemed a bit unsure as to how to start the painting.
Mr. Thomson: Just remember. Your painting does not have to be perfect. It just has to come from your heart. That's the only requirement.
Elle: Um, I'm just trying to paint the grass, but I'm having a bit of trouble with it. It just keeps smudging.
Mr. Thomson: Here, let me help you.
He took her paintbrush, and that's when she noticed that the thumb on his left hand had no nail on it. She looked at it for a second, and then she remembered how embarrassed she was when he saw her looking at his scar earlier. So, she told herself to forget he had that disfigured nail problem. She mentally blocked it out just as she blocked out the scar on his chin. Instead, she focused on him and his kind disposition. He showed her how to paint the grass.
Mr. Thomson: You just gently move the brush like that. There are no symmetry rules or anything of that sort. You move the brush very slowly. You see how I'm doing it. There is no need to rush. I'm painting the grass with slow motion, very slowly.
The word 'slowly' sounded like 'thlowly'. She had never heard anyone say the letter s like that.
Mr. Thomson: Now you try. Let's see you do that.
Elle began to paint. And suddenly, she realized that there was no reason to feel anxious. On the contrary, she felt a sense of release when she was painting. It was a great feeling. She actually smiled.
Mr. Thomson: That's very good, Elle. It's not that hard, is it?
Elle: No, it's great actually. Thank you.
Mr. Thomson: You're very welcome. That's what I'm here for.
Randy: Mr. Thomson, I'm having a little trouble drawing my bicycle.
Mr. Thomson: Randy, I'll be with you in a second. If you need anything else, just ask. Okay, Elle?
Elle: Thanks.
Mr. Thomson: Okay. Just keep painting Happy. That's a great name by the way.
Elle: His name is really Rexter. But I just call him Happy because I think it fits him better.
Mr. Thomson: And it certainly does, Elle.
As Mr. Thomson walked over to Randy Miller, Elle continued her work of art. She just really let her true self out. She remembered how much fun she always had while playing with Happy when she visited her uncle. She really loved that puppy. With a big smile still on her face, she continued to paint. With her every move, she grew more confident. She no longer worried about what everyone else would think about her painting. She simply focused on Happy and his features. She painted his curly tail and his goofy little nose. She had so much fun painting. About twenty minutes later, the bell rang. Elle looked at her finished product with so much pride. For the first time in her life, she was truly proud of something she had accomplished. As the students walked out of the classroom, she was still admiring her painting. Mr. Thomson walked over to her.
Mr. Thomson: Wow. That's really good, Elle. You did great on your very first day.
Elle: You really think so, Mr. Thomson?
Mr.
Thomson: Yeah, I do. I love the colors you've used in your
background. And Happy looks truly happy. Nice job, Elle.
Elle:
Well, you helped me a great deal with it.
Mr. Thomson: No, that's not true. You did it all on your own. I just gave you that first push. All the credit goes to you.
Elle: Well, I've got to go. See you tomorrow, Mr. Thomson.
Mr. Thomson: Bye, Elle.
Elle confidently walked out of the classroom. For some odd reason, she suddenly felt really free. It's like the world seemed like a much nicer place to her. Mr. Thomson was like a guardian angel that came to her when she really needed someone. As she was walking, she saw another student from her class. Normally, Elle would have simply walked by and gave the student a friendly nod. But, today, she wanted to make a friend. And so she walked directly to the blond student and began a lively conversation with her. A few minutes later, they walked into the same second class together. And after that, they ate lunch together. And once the day was over, Elle had made one good friend. Everything seemed to turn around into the positive direction. Few days later, she made even more friends. Her awkwardness and quietness had completely disappeared. She was now a more confident and social young girl. She now not only laughed all the time but also made her friends laugh.
Even though she put a great deal of emphasis on all of her classes at school, painting class became her first priority. It literally became her safe place. Elle loved being in that classroom every single day, including the days when she was feeling sick. She was always the first person to arrive to class and the last one to leave the class. All the students loved and respected Mr. Thomson. His calm and soothing personality made everyone feel comfortable in his class. He really took the time to teach his students how to be true painters in every aspect. Elle was the best student in his class. She loved the positive attention she was getting from her fellow students and from her teacher who truly became her mentor in many ways. She was able to fully build her confidence. For the first time in her life, she felt like she truly belonged. She painted with so much passion and fire.
The bond between Elle and Mr. Thomson had continued to grow each day. She soon found herself constantly asking for his advice in all the manners in her life. She talked to him about her school crushes and about her friends. She truly confided in him. She trusted him more than anyone else in the world. Her parents knew nothing about him because she had never introduced them to Mr. Thomson. She valued her special relationship with Mr. Thomson and did not want anyone else in the mix. Her friends did not really know about their relationship either. Then one day, out of the blue, he told Elle that he was leaving to work at another school. It was really hard on Elle at first because she had grown to rely on him very much. He was, after all, her true mentor in every way. Saying goodbye to him was difficult to say the least. She was helping him pack at his house.
Mr. Thomson: Okay, so that's about all my stuff. Thanks a lot for all of your help with the packing, Elle.
Elle: Oh, it's the least I can do. You've already done so much for me. I remember how I was when I first came to this school. You really helped me build my confidence. If it weren't for you, I don't know where I would be.
Mr. Thomson: I might have helped you a little at the very beginning. But it was all you who was able to accomplish so much. Give yourself the credit you deserve, Elle. We all have the power to do anything as long as we never give up. You've truly grown up as a painter.
Elle: Thanks to you.
Mr. Thomson: No, you worked hard at it. You never even missed a single day of class. Most importantly, you were able to create amazing paintings that came from your heart. As a teacher, I could not ask for a better student.
Elle: And I could not ask for a better teacher and a better mentor. Mr. Thomson, thank you for showing me how to be confident and how to succeed in all aspects of my life. I'm only in the tenth grade, and, yet, I already feel like there is nothing I can't do. And I know you don't like to take the credit for that. But it's the truth. And you're the one who had always taught me to speak my mind and hold my head up high.
Mr. Thomson: Continue achieving your dreams, Elle. Never give up. Life is a wonderful gift. It really is. Treasure it. And please do keep in touch. Once I move into my new place, I'll send you letters. We can also keep in touch through the Internet and phone calls.
Elle: Yeah, definitely. You know I'm going to need your advice.
They hugged each other very tightly, and then Mr. Thomson left. For the next three years, Elle hasn't heard from him. She focused on her studies and her friends, as well as her boyfriend. She took Mr. Thomson's advice to heart. She truly treasured her life. Every day she regarded as a true gift. She danced and laughed. As the time had passed, she forgot what Mr. Thomson looked like. All she remembered about him was his wisdom and his kind personality. As she was growing up, she continued to flourish. In her senior year, she was even closer to her dream of being accepted to one of the best art schools in the world. Her paintings were breathtaking. Her family and friends were so proud of Elle and all her achievements. Elle had a 4.3 GPA, and was selected to be the Valedictorian. Everything in her life seemed like a smooth sailing.
She bought a tight red dress two weeks before her prom and was anxiously waiting to walk on stage to get her high school diploma. She could not wait to take the next step in her life. She was attending her prom with her boyfriend of two years. His name was Kyle. And they both had promised to wait to be intimate. Prom night would be their two-year anniversary and the day when they would both make love for their very first time. Elle could not wait because she really loved Kyle, and he loved her. They were even talking about getting married in a couple of years. Little did Elle know that life had something else in mind for her. Her parents had told her that they were going on vacation, and Elle was excited to have the house to herself. She couldn't wait to invite her friends and Kyle over. Too bad that fate had something bad planned for her. After her friends had left, Elle was alone in her house when her entire life was dramatically changed.
And here she was in the arms of her beloved mentor. Just as he had changed her life when she was in the ninth grade, here he was about to change her life once again. The man who gave her the smile and light in the very first place was about to cruelly take that smile and light away from her. She had always wanted to see him again. And now she got her wish, only it turned into a nightmare. She looked him straight into his eyes. She wanted him to see the pain in her eyes as he took advantage of her in the most horrible way. In some instances, she could see a little bit of guilt in his cold brown eyes. As he took her innocence away, she did everything humanly possible to block this man out from her life. She erased every memory she had of him. She erased the time when he gave her a bear hug after her first boyfriend broke up with her. She erased the time when he helped her study for her math test. She erased the time when he gave her the painting of his daughter. She erased all of these memories and more. She wanted to forget that Mr. Thomson ever existed. She was so traumatized by his betrayal that she actually succeeded in making herself forget the identity of her attacker. When he heard a car outside, the attacker had escaped. Elle's parents walked into their house and saw their daughter lying on the floor. Elle was shaking violently and sobbing. Her parents had called 911 instantly. Her mother tried to calm her down, but Elle was not responding to her. When the ambulance had arrived, Elle was still in the state of shock. She could not even remember her name, and she didn't even recognize her own parents. Once she was sedated in the hospital, the police had asked her some questions about the intruder. Elle could not remember anything. It was as though her mind had completely shut down everything about that horrible night. After she got home from the hospital, everything went down the hill for her. She and Kyle broke up soon after this because Elle had completely closed herself off from the world. She did not attend her prom and did not even go to her own graduation. Her diploma was mailed to her.
She didn't go to the art school, either, for reasons even she could not really figure out at the time. She simply refused to ever touch a paintbrush again. And she threw away all of her paintings. Her parents and friends had tried to be as supportive as possible but nothing seemed to help. They just figured that because Elle was so depressed, she refused to paint ever again. Her smile that used to brighten everyone's day had disappeared completely. It was a distant memory. Every time, anyone had tried to ask Elle about that night, she walked out of the room. She wanted no mention of it. She did not remember even one detail about the attacker. His identity was completely unknown to her. Her depression had caused her to try to commit suicide twice. Her parents had no choice but to send her to the asylum so that she could get help. Finally, she was set free once the doctors all had agreed that she was much better. Elle had decided to go to university, after all. She wanted a fresh start. However, she had drastically changed her major from art to specializing in sexual crimes. She had never wanted anyone else to experience what she had. Suddenly, she had a huge desire to put criminals behind bars. She continued her education just fine. As years went by, Elle even got a little bit of herself back. She finally moved on in some ways, and let the past remain in the past. Yet, there was still a part of her that remained very dark, even to this day.
Elle woke up in a sweat. She looked around her surroundings and remembered that she was still in Natalie's room. She felt like she had been sleeping for days there. She looked at the clock, and she saw that an hour had passed by since her hypnosis and her "communication" with Natalie. She drank a glass of water to calm herself down. She rubbed her eyes and tried to think for a second. She remembered every horrible detail about her dream. She felt as though she had gone back in time and had relived the most terrible night of her life, yet again. However, for the first time, the perpetrator's image was very clear in her mind. There was no doubt about who he was.
Elle: Jake Thomson! That's the man that raped me. I can't believe it. He was like a second father to me. All these years, I knew it was him. I just completely blocked him out of my memory. Oh my god! I could have prevented so many deaths if I had faced my fears. Mr. Thomson, the perfect teacher…How stupid was I? I trusted that bastard! And now he has Natalie. I've got to do something. Enough is enough! I won't let him hurt her or anyone else ever again, not as long as I live! I'm going to catch this bastard, dead or alive…
To be continued…
Coming Up…How will the team react to Elle's realization? What will be their next move? Stay tuned.
